By StudiousCuck
I have been with my wife for a little over a decade and after a few cringeworthy attempts to coax her to the dark side we are finally on a path. Here are a few (hopefully) helpful tips that might help you awaken the goddess in your vanilla wife.
1) Check yourself- This might be the most important step, is this really the relationship dynamic you want or is it just a porn based fantasy? The dynamic of your relationship will shift, inside and outside of the bedroom, and you need to be fully invested in that. Early in our relationship I wanted to watch her sleep with hung black men with no real consideration into who she might want to sleep with or what her sexual fantasies were. It was purely porn based, selfish and had no chance of being successful. You have to be in it for the right reasons.
2) It’s about her- You might be thinking “of course it’s about her, she gets to ride a big fat cock”. Believe it or not, that isn’t the selling point you think it is. You will have to first explain to her the ways this dynamic shift will benefit her and your relationship and then show her through your actions inside and outside of the bedroom. Buy her flowers regularly, learn how to cook her favorite meals, book her massages, give her control over the remote and be present with
whatever she chooses to watch, encourage her to pick what kind of music/podcasts you listen to in the car, improve your health for her, figure out how to free up time and space in her life. Then, and this is crucial, ask for nothing in return. Don’t be transactional. Do for her, worship her in non-sexy ways without expecting favors in return. You have to help her realize you really do worship the ground she walks on outside of the bedroom. In the bedroom you need to help her
realize her pleasure is paramount; learn how she likes to be touched and fucked, don’t beg her or guilt her for sex if she isn’t in the mood, offer her oral without expecting or asking for anything in return, if she’s going through her cycle don’t fucking ask for blowjobs! Show her that the bedroom is a part of her queendom and she has full control over what happens there as well. It is crucial that she doesn’t see this as another task she has to perform, you need to prove to
her it’s all about making her life easier. This isn’t for the weak but then again neither are FLRs/cuckold relationships.
3) Timing- Pick the right time for your initial approach. My first approach a little over 5 years ago was laughable; I was so nervous and impulsive that I sent a fucking email to her explaining everything I wanted to see her do. I still cringe thinking about it. About a year ago I wanted to try again and this time I brought it up during foreplay which I thought would be good timing. It completely killed the mood for her and we didn’t speak about it. I thought it was a dead issue
until after we had sex a week or so later and she explained how she didn’t want to think about all of that while she was trying to shut her brain off. In the process of trying to quiet her mind from all of life’s pushing and pulling here I was putting something else into her thoughts. Before making your initial approach, make sure she’s comfortable and relaxed or all she might hear is you wanting to add something else onto her to do list.
4) Be patient. There have been plenty of times I have doubted that my wife might really be into this, plenty of times I thought she might just be humoring me and then she does or says something that catches me off guard. I asked her if she would lock me up before a
night out with a friend, I thought she might just take the key and forget about it but then she whispered “be good or I might lose the key”. Another time she told me to kneel and give her a foot rub in front of one of her friends. It will test your stamina but it’s also a good measure of how badly you actually want to shift the dynamic of your relationship. If you give up after a month you probably don’t have what it takes to be a good partner in this lifestyle.
Good Luck
