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The challenge of cuckold consistency

How do you finally “break” a cuck husband for good? Get him to fully commit, all in? I go back and forth in cuckolding with mine. I’ll have him very submissive for long periods on time but occasionally he kind of revolts and rebels and we have to work back into a “sub” place.— the716hotwife (@the716Hotwife) January 5, 2019

This was the post I read on Twitter that really caught my attention. I love these honest and real relationship questions being addressed in this lifestyle so I invited her to write more about that comment here on my blog. The following is what she had to say:

Venus xo

To start with a bit of background, my husband and I have been married 17 years and started exploring “open” dynamics about 4 years ago. After exploring a few different dynamics, we found that cuckolding is the most comfortable , appropriate and natural dynamic between us. It’s so obvious to see and feel that our relationship is best harmonized when I am confidently in my place as Dominant Cuckoldress and he is in his place as my submissive cuckold bitch. In this mode, everything feels in sync. We are both more content and less stressed. We are both kinder and more patient parents to our young children. We are both more productive in life and work. And of course, we are both getting our natural sexual needs fulfilled. Me enjoying intense and dirty nights with my Bull and him indulging in his filthy and degrading submissive desires.

But, unfortunately, these times of synchronicity don’t last. The chaos of life with children is relentless and the demands of work always press on and in this whirlwind of life we both drift and from our natural roles of Cuckoldress and cuck and slip into that dark, dreary and humdrum cliché of American married life. Pretty much unconnected and asexual. A place neither of wants to be but for which we both take responsibility.

It seems the more intense of our period of cuckolding, the more we withdraw from each other when it breaks. Like a boxing match where after the round we retreat to our separate corners to recuperate – me taking a deep breath and my husband taking stock in his masculinity.

My goal is to commit to this lifestyle all-in and 100%. I feel confident and secure in the fact that my cuck is my absolute and rightful property and that my sexuality is all mine to exploit and enjoy. It’s so clear to us that this is all natural and beautiful. But maintaining consistency is our challenge.

How do we go from “on and off” to “forever and always?” From enticing to absolution? How do we take this to the next level? Is it merely all about me being more strict and severe with chastity, discipline, and humiliation? Or is there something else we’re missing?

I’d like to hear about how couples have made this transition from dabbling with cuckolding to committing to cuckolding.

@the716Hotwife

Twitter: https://twitter.com/the716Hotwife 

Tumblr: http://the716hotwife.tumblr.com 

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New York City

New York City was everything I ever dreamed it would be and I fell in love with this vibrant, beautiful, incredible place.

I just got back from a week in New York City. It was amazing – my first time there – and I totally fell in love with that city! The beautiful architecture and the way the buildings contrast each other and fit together like pieces of a puzzle, the energy of the city with the traffic, the people, and the nighlife, and the food – yummmm! Oh and the shopping!! I splurged and bought myself a pair of black Christian Louboutin heels as a Christmas gift to myself – something I’ve always wanted to do. Trust me, they are sexy as fuck and worth every penny!

I met up with Michael C, the host of the Keys and Anklets podcast and it was great to finally meet him in person and especially fun to record live in studio together for the podcast. Stay tuned to the podcast to listen to the episodes we recorded – I think you’ll really love them!

One of my best girlfriends joined me on the trip and together with Michael and some of his lifestyle friends we set out on adventures in the beautiful big city. Honestly her and I were just so overwhelmed to be in NYC that there were times we actually cried. For me, New York has always been a bucket list city for me. I’ve felt drawn to it for some reason so to be there for New Year’s Eve surrounded by people I care about meant the world to me. Just thinking about it makes me emotional.

I came home feeling optimistic that 2019 will be a year full of great things to come and my goal is to work towards getting exactly what I want in my life and not feeling selfish about that. I’m grateful for my friends who love me and support me and want to see me succeed. I don’t know what I would do without you – thank you.

Venus xo

P.S. I have updated the Contact Me page to include some information about me and what I’m looking for. Please have a look. Thanks.

A fantasy…

The idea of fucking my boyfriend/husband’s boss or his friends really turns me on. For me, I feel like it’s the ultimate humiliation and therefore the ultimate enjoyment for both of us.

Picture in your mind, his boss is also his roommate. And his boss also happens to be a dominant black man who loves being a bull, and loves bossing around my boyfriend.

Now imagine the day I meet this tall hot black roommate boss of his, and he notices my Queen of Spades tattoo on my ankle….mmmm… His eyes light up…he looks at me…and looks at my boyfriend, and says “Oh wow looks like I’ve stumbled upon the perfect situation here! My boyfriend looks at me and says “Whatever you want baby you know I love you”. I smile and feel that flutter of excitement inside me.

The boss begins texting me; the conversation is explicit and hot as fuck. I love telling my boyfriend all about it and showing him which photos I’ve sent to his boss and describing his reaction to them. Both of us love it…it’s overwhelmingly hot…it’s something intimate we share together and bonds us even closer than before. It amplifies our love for each other to a whole other level.

Fuck, just writing this turns me on!!

Is this purely a fantasy that I’ve created in my imagination or have I experienced this situation in for real? Hmmmm I’m not going to say. It’s far more fun to just to wonder!

Venus xo

By the way I recently wrote a piece for simplysxy.com called ‘What it takes to be a cuckoldress’ Here’s the link if you would like to have a look: http://simplysxy.com/articles/2018/12/20/what-it-takes-to-be-a-cuckoldress/

The power of a bull

Black men turn me the fuck on. There’s so much about them that whips me into a frenzy – their beautiful dark skin, smooth confidence, and the big dick energy that goes with it. When I’m around them I’m like a fucking cat in heat! But what really gets me is the unspoken power that they have over me and over cucks as well.

Over the years I’ve come to really appreciate a bull who understands what it is to really be a true bull – someone who respects all of the roles within this kind of relationship dynamic and really loves the power that comes with it. There are lots of guys out there who are willing to take on the role of a bull to get some pussy but few who really adopt that role as a part of who they are. I love a bull who knows how to say and do the right things to both me and to a cuck and not just in the bedroom. That shit turns me on like crazy!

Recently came across a new bull (who was recommended to me by a woman I met) and he gave me some insight into to his thoughts about this. The following is what he had to say:

“I’m a 28 year old bull who has been in the lifestyle for about 7 years but I have indeed been a bull for 28 years. It was the lifestyle that labelled my natural dominance, sexually and otherwise. My point is, just because you’re a black man or have a black dick, does not make you a bull – it’s a mindset, an unspoken confidence, or a swag if you will.  In my opinion it’s something you’re born with and if not and you try to pose, people will see right through you. 

Cucks take notice: I will be dominant with you. I will be firm with you. You will know the pecking order. And that’s okay. It’s who you are to be naturally submissive. Embrace it. And after you bust the nut just know I don’t and won’t stop being a dominant bull. It’s who I am, and I embrace it. 

So many cucks use black men and white women as jack off material – stop! You are not serious about the lifestyle and above that it’s offensive. A real bull will never just settle for being jack off material. A real bull has a need to exert his dominance toward the cuck outside of sex.”

I really love what he says about it being something that you’re born with. I also think that similarly women in this lifestyle are either born to be a cuckoldress or not and men are either born wired to be a cuck or not. Personally I don’t think it’s something that you can just try on. For me I knew I wanted this even before I knew it was even a possibility.  I can understand how that would be true for a bull as well.

True bulls are hard to come by and I imagine nearly all of the cuckoldresses have a little black book with a list of their favourite bulls – I know I do!

Venus xo

Women are the key to cuckolding

How do I get my wife into this? That’s the million dollar question. I believe that the key to women being receptive to considering a cuckolding kind of relationship dynamic, lies with women talking to each other about it.

I recently spent some time in an online cuckold chat room and noticed some interesting things that got me thinking. The first was that I was the only woman on there and the second was a question that kept being brought up by the husbands/boyfriends was “How do I get my wife into this?”.

There was advice and suggestions being given out and the husbands would go through the list of strategies that they would say either hasn’t worked or that they didn’t think would work with their wife, most of which included them talking to her and trying to convince her to try flirting and sleeping with other guys.

Now for those of you who know a little about me you understand that it didn’t take any convincing for me to jump right in as soon as my boyfriend brought it up, so it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why a woman would hesitate when given this opportunity.  I tried hard to imagine what it was like for the wives/girlfriends out there whose husbands/boyfriends repeatedly try to approach the subject with them and it didn’t take long for me to assume that they would likely begin to feel annoyed, skeptical of their motives, or even hurt or offended by it.

The problem I think is that the pressure is coming from the men when really the conversation would be better received if it came from her friend – a woman who she trusts. I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.

As for how to connect women who are open minded enough to understand this lifestyle with women whose husbands need help, I don’t know the answer to that. I do believe however that all of the women who love this lifestyle need to start the discussions that need to take place. We need to help each other navigate the learning curve of this beautiful relationship dynamic. Write a blog, participate in chats, connect with women, talk to your open minded friends, whatever – let’s just support each other, because that’s what girlfriends are for.

Venus xo

5 reasons why women should love cuckolding

A cuckold relationship is a beautiful and amazing dynamic and there are so many reasons why women should love and appreciate it. Here are the top 5.

  1. Next level love

It can be hard to imagine love on a whole other level but believe me when I say this kind of relationship is intoxicating, magical, and intense far beyond what you could ever cultivate in a vanilla relationship.

2. female sexual empowerment

Many women say cuckolding has increased their confidence level, sexual prowess, and ability to ask for exactly what they want. They feel more confident with their bodies and their sex appeal.

3. Trust

Initially it may be hard to believe but trust grows and flourishes in this kind of dynamic but cuckolding actually makes the trust stronger between both of you especially over time.

4. excitement

Let’s face it, all vanilla relationships get boring at some point. But with all of the sexual adventures and intimate moments found in this kind of dynamic it’s just not likely to lose the excitement. In fact over time it’s probably going to get even more fun.

5. Your happiness is his happiness

This is pretty much all about you. You are the center of his universe and he will do anything to keep you happy and that makes you love him even more. He has no interest in sex with other women and he just loves focusing entirely on you and your sexual adventures.

Venus xo

The separation between sex and love

What kind of woman is suited for the cuckoldress lifestyle? Aside from a high sex drive and sexual confidence, how does a woman have to think about sex and confidence to make this kind of relationship work? She needs to draw a line in the sand when it comes to sex and love.

First off let me say that I just got some mind blowing black dick and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world right now so I guess it’s making feel inspired to write.

One of the things I have thought a lot about is what exactly makes a woman right for this kind of lifestyle. Like who is this lifestyle best suited for?Besides having an above average sexual appetite and sense of sexual confidence, I feel like a woman needs to be really good at separating sex from love.

What I mean by that is most women automatically attach sex and love in their mind;  they feel like the emotions involved with sex translate into the feelings of love for the person. I’ve seen women struggle with this when it comes to trying non-monogamy because eventually things get complicated when someone catches feelings.

For me, I first began to really  see the line between sex and love when I was spending time in the swingers community. I realized that you could have a solid loving relationship and that sex with others is exactly just that – sex with others. It allowed me to look deeper into the idea of sex being something separate from love and the more I thought about it that way, the more I gave myself permission to really go for my fantasies and my desires.

It’s allowed me to  fully embrace cuckolding relationships knowing that I can have a beautiful loving and trusting relationship with my life partner and also have the most mind blowing sex with other men.

My cuck will have my heart and black men will have my body. I’m not saying that my cuck wouldn’t ever have intimate sexual experiences with me, I’m just saying that no one else would have my heart – just him.  He can feel assured that this kind of relationship dynamic is exactly suited to me and that I need and want him just as much as I need and want BBC.

Venus xo

The Venus Interviews

I’ve been a busy girl lately! One of the things I’ve been working on is recording a couple of interviews with the Keys and Anklets Podcast.

The first is one with Michael C interviewing myself and some of the things I go in depth about are how I came into this lifestyle and why I love it so much, how it has changed me, how and why I prefer black  bulls (yeah I got pretty excited talking about that), my favourite photo involving my QoS tattoo and chastity, and even a little about my heels collection (or lack thereof haha!). So here is the link to listen: https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/8

The second podcast episode is a conversation about dating in this lifestyle and in particular tips and advice for single cucks who are hoping to find a woman to share this unique relationship dynamic with. Have a listen: https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/9

Venus xo

The Project

Cucks, I’m looking for you…

I’m excited to announce that I am working on a project together with the Keys and Anklets Podcast and we’re looking for cucks (single or married) who fit our criteria for participation.

To help us find them we’ve developed a short questionnaire which you can find here.

Rest assured your information provided will be kept private and confidential. For now, the full details of the project won’t be revealed however we would like you to know that it does not involve being interviewed for the podcast. Please note we will only contact those of you who we feel make a great match for what we are looking for.

 

Venus xo

Cuck fear

I’ve  been wanting to write about this for quite some time now; cuck fear. It’s real . It’s overwhelming. It paralyzes.

I’ve talked to hundreds of cucks over the past three years and I’ve noticed that the biggest fear most of them have is the risk of anyone find out about their cuck side. Aside from that I’ve noticed that they are also afraid that their wife/girlfriend will fall in love with a bull and leave them. Both of these are legitimate fears and I can totally understand why these would be a major area of concern but when it comes to the need for discretion and privacy, I have a few things to say about that.

I want cucks to stop worrying so much about people finding out. So many of them say they want everything to appear “normal” to everyone else and the cuckolding part be something “behind closed doors”.  When I ask why they all say things like it’s embarrassing for guys to be viewed as a cuck, they think they’ll lose their job or their friends, they will basically  lose respect from people who they care about. I totally get it – no one wants to go through that however I think the reality is actually much different from the fear.

I don’t necessarily want people to know everything about my personal life but I don’t want to live in fear of people finding out about who I am and I do not want to feel ashamed about who I am and my relationship dynamic. I am proud of who I am, how I’ve grown, how I know what I want, and most of all I’m passionate about cuckolding relationships. I’ve lived it and experienced it for the beautiful, incredible, and magical love that it is. Why would I be ashamed of that?

Sure guys might feel embarrassed about it and they tell me it’s different for guys because they face more backlash from people because guys are supposed to be the opposite of a cuckold – that’s society’s expectation of them. Yeah I understand that but really I think women get the brunt of the judgment from ignorant people. Slut shaming is everywhere and it’s relentless.  For a lot of women there’s nothing worse than being regarded as a slut or a whore.

What lots of cucks don’t realize is that open relationships are “out there” and accepted more than ever right now. Whether it be couples who swing, polyamorous couples, or one sided open relationships like cuckolding, people are way more open about it now than ever  before.  Just go on Tinder and see how many people are open about it on their profiles. Happy couples being open about who they are and it’s all okay – it’s a beautiful thing. Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.

I think by hiding in the cuck closet with the door firmly locked, we are making things worse. My hope is that people learn more about this relationship dynamic and ultimately understand it better and perhaps society will one day accept it as something that certainly is “outside of the box” but still a legitimately loving relationship where both people are happy and fulfilled.

What really  needs to happen is cucks needs to take some risks and just be proud of who they are. Baby steps and we will get there…

 

Venus xo

Fuck me

I’m going to see someone soon….someone who drives me fucking wild. I have no other way of saying it – he turns me on so much I almost lose my mind.

He’s a professional athlete so I fly out every so often to wherever he is playing. It’s not often enough though.  I would have him a lot more if I could but my busy life doesn’t always let me get away when I want to. FML.

We have some unique chemistry. He knows me so well. In fact it was shortly after we first met that I got my first Queen of  Spades tattoo (now I have three). He has the perfect balance of respecting me but still pushes my boundaries in a way that makes me feel comfortable with it. That kind of trust is not easy to find. I definitely want him to be one of the 5 on my wedding night.

He’s tall, hot as fuck, beautiful inside and out, and he fucks me like a champion every single time, but most of all it’s the way he talks to me. He has this deep voice and he has that smooth confidence and style that makes me wet with just a few words. And even when we’re just texting I get so caught up in it all that I find myself closing my eyes, tilting my head back and just completely getting lost in it all.  The things we talk about….so hot and so dirty….oh god….okay this is all very distracting now. Concentrate!

He sends me pics of him and I literally can’t handle how hot they make me. His big black dick gives me this deep overwhelming feeling that just takes over my whole body. I can’t think straight. I just stare. Mesmerized. What was I talking about again? Mmmmm.

When we see each other it’s….well you can imagine the heat.  On the way back from the airport he bent me over the back of his car in the parking lot. We just couldn’t wait to get inside his apartment. He lays me back, slides that big dick down my throat as my eyes water,my mascara runs, and I take it. I take it all. And I love it.

So now I count down the days until our next encounter. This time I’m bringing my girlfriend. I’ve shared him with her before and that was one of the best nights of my life so I’m excited to make some more memories like that.

Now what to wear….I need some new lingerie….some new sexy heels. Time to get a pedicure, my nails and hair done, my body waxed… It’s almost go time.

Venus xo

Checking in – from fans to stalkers

From fans to stalkers – It’s been an “interesting” few weeks.

To answer the obvious questions: yes I’m writing here, and no I haven’t returned to the cuck lifestyle.  I’ve missed writing and I wanted to talk a little about what the past few weeks have been like.  Let me tell you it’s been “interesting” to say the least.

First I want to say a very sincere thank you to the many people who sent me messages of encouragement, understanding, and support. I wasn’t able to respond to most of them however I want you to know that I really appreciated what you had to say and it meant a lot to me.

Unfortunately I’ve also been dealing with an anonymous harassing/stalker type lately….sigh. At first I thought maybe this person was a little intelligent by the way he sent me a fake email which was fishing for my personal information (he was successful in getting my google number) but after that the smarts ended and the stupid became obvious. Since then he has texted me trying to pretend he is someone I met last summer. I smelled bullshit right away, laughed at him, and promptly told him to go fuck himself. Then the fucktard called me while trying to fake a woman’s voice and accuse me of trying to steal “her” husband. This last one was especially hilarious and I nearly died laughing before hanging up. I have no idea why this person is trying all of this but if this fucking loser thinks I’m afraid of being exposed or something….little does he know…..haha!!

Another peculiar thing that has happened recently is the interest from some of my black guys. Once they heard  I’ve given up on finding a cuck, some have told me they want to actually date me. I’m not sure that’s a road I want to go down right now but it’s interesting nonetheless.

So while I may not be writing about cuckolding as much as I did in the past, one of my friends said to me today I can always write about my Queen of Spades adventures because that always continues for me. Although the past month I’ve been very busy with work, BBC, and preparing for an upcoming move, I’m also planning on getting a much needed touch up done on one of my QoS tattoos so I will post another update when I can.

Peace

Venus xo

Reaching the end

The last three years in this lifestyle have been intense and beautiful and also disappointing. I have been blessed with some incredible mind-blowing experiences and met some truly amazing people and for that I’m grateful.

Having said that though, I think a person can only take so much of the dishonesty of some people and I’ve reached that point now. So I’m taking a break from it all and I don’t know if I will come back to it or not but for now I need to step away.

For all of the women who may be reading this, please don’t let this discourage you. This kind of relationship has the potential to be everything you can imagine it would be, I just wish you more luck than I have had and please beware of the the liars and manipulators out there. They are everywhere and they can be very sneaky and they can waste your time and even break your heart so don’t let your guard down and always trust your gut feelings about someone.

Venus xo

Money is a bitch

Findommes are a real pain in my ass. No really…the money hungry gold digging bitches lingering around this lifestyle are the main reason why so many  men distrust women and I wish this problem didn’t exist.

Thanks to the internet all of us are searching online for our soulmates in the cuck lifestyle and this can be a tricky and sometimes very shady place. Let’s face it, there are some creeps out there (I’ve met more than my fair share of them) so you have to be careful. There are online profiles which are fake or misleading (soooo many) and some people who lure you into trusting them so that they can extort you or blackmail you. Yeah that’s some fucked up shit!

But by far the biggest reason cucks don’t trust women like me is because so  many women are out there looking to use guys for their  money. Some are upfront about it, claiming to be into financial domination and looking for paypigs (guys who feel submissive by giving money to greedy women), and other women are sneaky bitches about it by lying and manipulating men into giving them money. Women are literally making a living off of these men and they are everywhere online.

It’s no wonder so many guys I talk to don’t want to trust me in the beginning. Many of them have had encounters with these women before and it has left them nervous about future encounters and I can understand that but I wish this wasn’t such a common obstacle because it makes it really hard to get to know someone when the trust isn’t there from day 1 – and we all know how important trust is in this kind of relationship!

For the record I am not one of these gold digging bitches. Yes I do love to be treated well but I want my man to treat me that way because he genuinely wants to and not because I demand it from him. I would take offense to be labelled as a findomme as this is so far from who I actually am and anyone who says it about me simply does not know me at all.

So I’m putting it out there to all of the single cucks: not all of us are after your money. You can trust me on that.

 

Venus xo

Cuckold Porn is Garbage

A few years ago when I was introduced to cuckolding by a new boyfriend I was lucky enough to not have watched any cuck porn prior to that. I say lucky because I think the vast majority of cuck porn out there is fucking garbage.

Still to this day I haven’t found any cuck porn that I like very much so I just mainly stick to interracial BBC content and at least that satisfies my Queen of Spades needs. It got me wondering though…why is cuck porn so awful? Why have porn companies done such a bad job with this one category?

Cuckolding (in my mind) is a complex emotional dynamic between two people who are in love and in a deeply committed relationship, and it’s nearly impossible to be able to translate that emotional exchange from the screen to the viewer using mainstream  porn.

Sure you can have the husband watching his wife get pounded by another man, but how boring is that for the viewer? So producers try to spice it up with the femdom aspect and use it to humiliate the husband overtly and cruelly – this story line dominates the cuckold videos online and that’s fine for those who love it but I think it misses the mark.

Then there are the many amateur videos online to kind of fill that void I guess and yes there are some fairly good ones out there but I haven’t found any that I really love either. I think the realness of the scene is appreciated by the viewers but still is missing something in the translation to the person watching who is trying to imagine being there, a part of it.

Then there are the cuckolding memes that dominate Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and all sorts of other places. These I’m sure are all made by guys who want to convey and share their desires and fantasies in this kind of lifestyle and I think it’s these memes that more accurately describe cuckolding than porn videos.  It’s usually just an image and a small piece of narrative attached to it but it’s powerful and triggers thoughts in motion, deep desires, and massive arousal.  Pretty much every  cuck who I’ve talked to has a little collection of favourites.  Funny enough someone once stole one of my Fetlife photos and made a meme with it and posted it somewhere and I didn’t know whether to be pissed off about it or flattered – seriously just ask permission first guys!

Anyways I’m always hoping that more women will come to understand and appreciate this kind of relationship and unfortunately I think cuckold porn isn’t helping with that. In fact I think it’s a deterrent.

 

Venus xo

 

Cuck etiquette

For all of you single cucks out there – this post is for you.

Here are a few little tips and wise words of advice for you to learn how to approach me and how to behave around me. I say ‘me’ because I have no idea what other single cuckoldresses want or prefer so for now, this really is just about me. Of course this is a continuation to my expectations in How to catch a Goddess so definitely take notes on that one too.

  1. I need to be attracted to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so please at least attach a photo or description of yourself when you introduce yourself. I also need to know a little about you and not just that you’re into cuckolding – you know…normal stuff you’d want someone to know about you.
  2. If for whatever reason I decide to politely tell you I’m not interested in you (or I’ve repeatedly ignored you) please do not respond with a multitude of questions asking me why and get offended or start arguing with me. This is just going to piss me off.
  3. I’m not your jerk-off material. Do not get so whipped up into a frenzy with all of the cuckolding chat that you forget about the relationship part. This happens all too often. Do not ask me for pictures and videos. I used to share them but I have since learned that it’s not helpful to try to build relationships when guys just depend on me for it every day.
  4. Don’t make bullshit promises. Do not tell me that you’re willing to move to Canada if you haven’t even looked into the process. It’s not easy at all and you should know that already.
  5. Don’t start off by asking if you can watch me fuck a black guy or if you can do clean up afterwards. Really I can’t believe how many guys say this to me right off the bat. If that’s one of the first things you say to me then I will tell you to fuck off. It’s an actual relationship I’m after, not just fulfilling some sort of cuckold fantasy.
  6. Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such  a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.
  7. Telling me that you want to buy me lingerie so that I can wear it for black guys is not going to get me excited. While I appreciate the offer (and I have received a shit load of offers), this is not so much a gift for me as it is a gift for yourself so you can jerk off to the thought of it. How about you find out what it is that I truly need or want and do it just because you want to make me happy?
  8. DO NOT SEND ME YOUR UGLY WHITE DICK PICS – fucking gross. I shouldn’t even need to say this.
  9. Just be yourself. You don’t need to lie about your situation or your identity. This kind of relationship is hugely built on trust and lying to me, even about something small, right in the beginning is not going to sit well with me. If you’re worried about discretion that’s fine, I understand that, but you need to trust me for me to trust you. If you’re married or in a relationship then tell me – don’t make up bullshit stories.
  10. Be prepared to do your homework, talk on the phone, and meet in person. I’m not interested in pen pals or endless texting so if it seems like things are not moving forward then I’m not going to continue chatting forever.  Also, I’ve made a point of trying to list my answers to a lot of your questions here on my blog so that I don’t have to spend hours and hours answering them over and over individually so please do your homework and read up before asking me. In my post Everything else you’ve wanted to know I’ve answered the following questions:

What do your friends think about you being a cuckoldress?
What kinds of things do you make your cuck do?
What is it about cuckolding that makes you like it?
How did you get into cuckolding?
How public do you want your lifestyle?
Do you want to marry your cuck?
Do you want your cuck to participate sexually with you and your bull?
Are you into forced bi or ass play for your cuck?
What was the reaction of the tattoo artist when you got your queen of spades tattoo?
How long ago did you get into black guys?
Why not just date a black guy if that’s what you like so much?
Do you like BBC bareback and do you want to get pregnant?
Is there such a thing as too big?

Venus xo

Wedding night BBC gangbang

What I want for my wedding night BBC gangbang – in detail.

My biggest fantasy: having my first gangbang on my wedding night. I’m determined to make it happen and any cuck who dates me has to understand that this is not negotiable.  I’ve brought this up before on my blog post ’17 ways to cuck your man’ and mentioned it in my interview for kinkycast.com but today I want to let loose and really dive head first right into what exactly I want for this special occasion.

I want to get married on a white sand beach somewhere overlooking crystal clear waters. 5 of my favourite black guys will get a special invitation to the event (I’ve already picked out some of them and told them they can one day expect the invite). They will  watch us take our vows and maybe even slip into a few of the photos with the bride and groom. After the ceremony they join us in our honeymoon suite and that’s when all the magic happens…

I see myself on my knees, my ring sparkling on my finger, my hair perfectly styled and my makeup on point, and my pretty white dress contrasting sharply with the smooth beautiful black skin surrounding me. The photographer in the background making sure every incredible moment is expertly documented for me. I will look over at my husband  and ask him to come over to me. I want a comparison photo of his unfortunate white dick next to a huge black cock – god I love those photos!

Then hubby goes back to sitting in the corner to watch. My black guys move towards me and take me – they take what they want and they don’t have to ask. My mascara runs down my cheeks, my blonde hair falls out of place, my dress eventually ends up in a messy pile on the floor. I take all of that big black cock like I’m made for it – because I am. The photographer captures all of it. I look over at my husband sitting there, watching me, loving it. I smile at him and say “I love you baby”. I am in heaven and he is right there with me.

This is undoubtedly going to be the best day of my life and I will want a repeat every anniversary after that!

Venus xo

The natural progression of a cuckoldress

Do women naturally become more cruel and selfish and men more submissive and eager to please?

Recently I read my very first blog post ‘what the fuck is cuckolding’ which I wrote almost 2  years ago and what stood out for me was where I spoke about humiliation. At that time, while starting out my adventures in cuckolding, I felt interested in the humiliation aspect of cuckolding but only as long as I didn’t feel overtly cruel about it. I also wasn’t interested in male chastity at the time. I basically understood nothing about what its purpose was.

Fast forward two years and I’ve evolved into a cuckoldress who loves dishing out humiliation and is addicted to keyholding. I’ve become more self centered, less patient, and more demanding with what I want. This seemingly effortless transition got me wondering….is this a common natural progression for all cuckoldresses?

Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time. I should mention that I haven’t really done much research at all about cuckolding. I haven’t read any other blogs or talked with other cuckoldresses so I basically have only my own experiences to go by and that leaves me wondering about what it’s like for other women like me.

I think that for women who were born for this kind of relationship, they enjoy the attention, sexual superiority and empowerment that this lifestyle gives them. It gives her permission to set the bar high and insist that he exceed it for her. And for men who are hardwired to be a cuck, the trust and commitment in this kind of relationship allows them to feel safe to submit to her and to want to live their own sex life strictly through hers. It’s a beautiful gift and the key to all of this working is of course love and trust.

So what do you think? Is there any truth in this? I welcome your comments.

 

Venus xo

 

Releasing your inner slut

Every woman deserves the opportunity to release and embrace their inner slut

This is a subject I’m quite passionate about! It’s always been my hope that all women at least get the opportunity to explore their sexuality in a safe and non-judgmental place at least once in their life. I have been one of the lucky ones who has had lots of opportunities.

About 10 years ago I began reading Savage Love by Dan Savage – a sex advice column in the Georgia Straight, a newspaper here in Vancouver – and it opened my eyes to other kinds of relationship dynamics. Dynamics that I didn’t even know existed.

Right around the same time I happened to stumble upon a swingers website and found myself chatting with some people in the chat room. I found everyone to be friendly, welcoming, and non-judgmental. It was the perfect environment for me to learn more about non-monogamy.

Next I met up with some couples and single ladies here in Vancouver and then started going to sex clubs and private events. It was these opportunities that gave me the perfect safe environment for me to explore my own sexuality and it gave me confidence, empowerment, and a sense of being comfortable in my skin, more than ever before.

I found most of the men in that lifestyle to be very respectful and fun to be around, and the women to be non-judgmental and kind (we all know that’s rare to come by!). Surprisingly most people were a lot less concerned about your body flaws and more concerned about your happiness and safety and I just loved that. What better place to feel comfortable and encouraged. I wish all women could be surrounded by similar people.

Over the next several years I released my inner slut. I tried singles, doubles, small groups, large groups, women and men, just women, toys, squirting, fisting, stretching…the list goes on. I basically tried everything that was available for me to explore within that community. It was amazing. I loved it.

Society is constantly telling women that they shouldn’t want sex and they definitely shouldn’t be a slut. We are told from a young age that there is shame in having an appetite for sex and people can be so cruel when they are busy slut shaming and ridiculing women. I wish all of that would stop. Let’s change the narrative! Let’s give women permission to release their inner slut.

Venus xo

Turning a Queen of Spades

What it means to be a queen of spades and turning your girlfriend into one too

I’ve written a post about this subject before in my post called ‘I went black, did I go back?’, and I’ve talked a bit about it on this podcast, but I’d like to write a little more about what it’s like being a dedicated queen of spades.

For those of you who are not familiar with the term queen of spades, it means a woman who prefers black men for sex and/or relationships. Some women like myself, choose to have a queen of spades tattoo to symbolize their preference, usually on a visible place on their body. I have three; on my ankle, above my pussy, and on the back of my neck.

For me, I wanted black men for sex soon after my first experience with a black man. He and I had some amazing sexual chemistry and I wanted to find someone else like him. Once I was in my first cuck relationship he encouraged me even more and then soon enough I had lots of encounters with black men and most of them were also just as incredible in bed. So that was it – after that I was hooked. Now well hung black men is all I want these days. It’s what satisfies me. It’s what turns me on. My brain is just wired that way now.

So why wouldn’t I want to just date black guys? Why do I want a cuck then? This is what people ask me all the time. It’s simple really; I need a loving cuck relationship just as much as I need big black cock (BBC). And those two things are found in two different people. I can’t have one without the other or else I will be unsatisfied in my life.

Unfortunately I live in a city that has predominantly Caucasian, Asian, and South Asian ethincities. It’s not the best place for a Queen of Spades…..sigh. This is the reason I think that no one here has recognized my QOS tattoos or approached me about them. I’m often surprised at how many black men here in Vancouver don’t even know what it means. If I make the 40 minute drive to the US border though, I find that a lot more people down there actually do know what it means.

I have managed to turn one of my close girlfriends into a Queen of Spades within the past 3 years. She came out with me one night when I met up with one of my black guys and he had a friend with him. She was married at that time but she ended up having an affair with him and since that time she has had several other encounters with black men, some of those encounters as a group with myself included. In the beginning she slept with both white and black guys but one day she said to me “You know…I don’t think I even want to fuck white guys anymore. They’re just different in bed.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the moment. I told her I knew this day was coming! She explained that she loves the confidence black men have. She said they just know that they can get what they want and it shows in the way they speak to you, the way they act, the way they are dominant in bed. Yes yes yes I agree! Haha! Unlike me though, she is not interested in cuckolding. It’s just not her thing. She wants to date black men whereas I prefer to have sex/friendships with them. Maybe she will get a queen of spades tattoo as well some day.

Venus xo