My stories and experiences about being a cuckoldress , dating, and becoming a Queen of Spades
Introducing The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast! Thank you to all of my friends who have encouraged me to create my own podcast about the beautiful world of cuckolding and now here it is!
Enjoy and share the fuck out of it!
Venus xo
“They’re focusing entirely on the sexual acts/fantasies of cuckolding and haven’t stopped to realize that they only know about 2% of what cuckolding really is, and they will never know because they will never experience a real loving cuckold relationship, and all because they will never even learn how to approach women with respect and simply focus on building something real.”
Venus
There’s no way around it – this post is going to sound like I’m shitting on cucks. Sorry in advance.
First let me start out by saying that over the years I have met some couples and single cucks who I love and adore and whose friendships will likely last a lifetime and I’m so grateful to have met these beautiful, respectful, classy people but this post is about the countless number of cucks who are out there behaving like morons. This one is for you.
Today I came across a woman around the same age as me who is trying to navigate the dating world of single cucks and let’s just say, it sucks. Her stories are all too familiar to me; single cucks are forever stuck with one foot outside of the cuck closet and unable to get the courage to come on out and experience this beautiful relationship for what it is, and they are obsessed with using her as a temporary fetish dispenser so they can endlessly jerk off about it. This bad behaviour is an epidemic going on within this lifestyle and it’s not good for anyone but especially detrimental to women who have the courage to want this kind of relationship.
Imagine being a single woman and putting yourself out there, seeking this kind of relationship and being bombarded online by cucks who seem interested but really are only interested in using you for jerk off material. All they want to do is ask you a thousand questions about how you would cuck them so they can get all hot and bothered and rub one out again and again – they’re not going to ask her anything else, not get to know her, not treat her like an actual person. That alone is enough for a woman to say fuck it and never come back to this. But no, she also has to deal with the usual catfish, crazy stalkers, and married guys pretending to be single. But the worst of it is…when she finds a guy who she really likes and when it comes time to meet…poof he’s gone. He locked himself firmly into the cuck closet again, never to be heard from again. Over and over again she has experienced this and the stories from other women are similar across the board.
I get it – cuckolding is hot as fuck. Obviously I get that. But for fuck’s sakes can’t more people online give it some credibility and make it more about dating or relationships than just porn?? Just look at what kind of environment has been created online – it’s a sea of male fantasy bullshit driven porn – certainly not female friendly in any way. No fucking wonder there aren’t more women into this. No fucking wonder wives are hesitant to even consider it. No wonder guys don’t take it seriously. For example there are married cucks online posting naked pics of their wives (faces and personal info) in chat rooms just for the purpose of jerking off when a bull makes comments about it. I seriously fucking doubt the wife has consented! What in the actual fuck are you doing to your relationship, the disrespect for your wife, the perception of cuckolding relationships to anyone who sees that??
So many cucks are just mentally warped by the heroin for masturbation which is all over the internet and it’s created a rampant toxic cuck mentality and that is now a massive turn off for women. They’re making the mistake of focusing entirely on the sexual acts/fantasies of cuckolding and haven’t stopped to realize that they only know about 2% of what cuckolding really is, and they will never know because they will never experience a real loving cuckold relationship, and all because they will never even learn how to approach women with respect and simply focus on building something real.
A big part of what I do is talk about cuckolding relationships so that women will consider it as a valid relationship option and yet I also feel sorry for the women who decide to do just that. I cringe to think about what it’s going to be like for them once they go through what the rest of us go through and I just pray that they won’t give up on it.
Cucks need to set the bar higher for each other, stop acting like fantasy driven pigs, and ask yourself how you are contributing to this on a bigger level. Either that or stop complaining to me about how it’s so hard to find women who are looking for a cuck relationship – I don’t want to fucking hear it anymore.
Venus xo
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“First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer.”
Venus
It’s the million dollar question I get asked all the time and I never have a really good answer for it. But for this blog post I will try my best to address this for all of you husbands out there.
Nearly all cuckolding relationships start out with a long term relationship where the husband approaches the wife with the idea – I don’t know why but that’s the usual beginnings of it. Rarely a wife will bring it up with her husband, and even more rare is when a relationship starts out with two people who are looking for a cuckold relationship. Sometimes it happens when the wife cheats and there is a discussion to try cuckolding after that but that’s not all that common either.
So it’s usually a case where the husband is wondering how to approach his wife about it or he has and she is not on board and he wants to know how to “convince” her. No wonder I get asked about it so often.
First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer. As hard as that answer is to hear, you need to ask yourself if you will be okay with that result (it’s just not for her) and then ask yourself what that ultimately means for you. Can you be happy without it or is this something that you need long term to feel fulfilled? Those are tough questions that you will need to address. Also be prepared to accept that she may be open to trying it but not likely to love it in a way that will see her participate long term.
If you are not sure how to approach her then start working on communication in your relationship. If you’re not sure how to do that then perhaps seek some help from a counselor or therapist who is open minded to these kinds of relationship dynamics. Communication skills in a relationship are fundamental and worth the time and money you invest into it and sexual compatibility is just as important as love, trust, and connection so make it a top priority.
Do not approach it like it’s something weird – talk about it as something that bonds and connects you. Make it less about the sex with others and more about the experiences you are creating together. This is a journey you would like to take with her so let her know that she is in the driver’s seat – this is about her and the love you feel when she is able to fully express her sexuality, feel desired, and be completely sexually fulfilled.
If you’ve talked to her and she wants to do some research online please tell her to be careful or at least guide her in the right direction. Mainstream cuck porn is not what she needs to watch (it’s unrealistic garbage), amature is better but still doesn’t portray what’s really happening, and Tumblr and Twitter is just going to be a sea of jerk off material for fantasy driven cucks and a bizarre collection of findom factories spewing out some false narrative about slave cuckolding – all of which will make her run in the other direction.
If she is still interested and wants to learn more, it would be wise to try and connect with other couples in your area or online who she can feel comfortable talking to. Friendships between women in this lifestyle are priceless. Do whatever you can to help her form friendships so she can feel like she can ask questions to someone other than you. Trust me she will appreciate this.
Lastly, don’t pressure her. This is what I hear a lot from husbands, that they continue to try all sorts of tactics to “convince” her. I swear if that was me I would be so annoyed. Give her some space and time and opportunities to think about what you’re proposing. It can be a big decision for her so respect that. And remember, it might just not be something she will ever want. You may have to accept that.
Venus xo
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“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”
Venus
So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:
Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?
A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/
Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?
A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.
Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?
A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.
Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?
A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.
Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.
A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.
Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?
A. Yes absolutely.
Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?
A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.
Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?
A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.
Q. Would you ever date a bull?
A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.
Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?
A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/
Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?
A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.
Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?
A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.
Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?
A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/
Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?
A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/
Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?
A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.
Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?
A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.
Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?
A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.
Q. Can you ever go back? Lol
A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.
Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?
A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.
Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?
A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.
Q. Are you in a relationship now?
A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.
Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?
A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.
Q. How long can you edge your cuck?
A. As long a I want.
Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.
A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.
Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?
A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.
Q. What American city would you like to live in?
A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!
Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?
A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.
Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?
A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.
Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?
A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.
Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?
A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.
Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?
A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.
Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?
A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.
Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)
A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.
Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.
A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/
Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?
A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.
Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?
A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.
Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?
A. I don’t know what this is??
Venus xo
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“I need love, adoration, connection, and emotional intimacy from my cuck and I also need big black dick to fuck me deep on the regular.”
Venus xo
Recently I asked some people if they had any questions for me related to cuckolding relationships and although I received many great questions, one stood out from them all only because I’m so puzzled as to why people keep asking it; the answer seems so obvious to me.
Ugh. This one annoys the fuck out of me.
I get it, it seems like a valid question right? I mean yes I do love fucking black guys…REALLY love fucking them. So much that I mean why wouldn’t I want that for the rest of my life right?
Sure if that was all I needed to feel fulfilled in life then fuck yes I would pursue that. But have I been writing about anything else the past 4 years? Anything??? Maybe CUCKOLDING??
Listen, I will say this one loud for the people in the back…. I love BBC, I love cuckolding relationships, and I need BOTH of them to feel happy and fulfilled in my life and I’m willing to bet that means getting what I need from one cuck and at least a hand full of black guys.
I need love, adoration, connection, and emotional intimacy from my cuck and I also need big black dick to fuck me deep on the regular. It’s not difficult to understand. That’s just the way I am wired. This lifestyle, this kind of relationship is what I’m made for. It’s part of me, part of who I am, and what makes me feel comfortable. I can be who I really am. Love me for the slut that I am and give me the freedom to fuck and I will in turn give you my heart for the rest of our lives.
It seems pretty simple to me.
Venus xo
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“Sure I like how seemingly selfish and unfair cuckolding is compared to hotwifing but when you think of it, if that’s the way he loves it then really it’s about perception.”
Venus
I briefly touched on this 3 years ago but now I would like to expand upon it. Cuckolding relationships are obviously amazing – I mean I have spent so much time writing about how incredible they can be and while they certainly aren’t for everyone, for the ones who this kind of lifestyle suits, it can feel like something beautifully natural.
In my experience cuckolding with someone I love is very much a two way compersion street. As much as it may seem like these cuckolding scenarios focus mainly around the woman getting her sexual needs met, it’s actually more about the emotional dance going on between her and her cuck. Ask any really good bull and he will tell you that in that room, the sex is about her but the moment is truly about the emotional radio waves between her and her cuck.
When my cuck is turned on it turns me on as well. When I am turned on, he gets turned on and it’s this wonderful continuous emotional loop. So it’s important to me that my cuck is enjoying himself. That’s why it is difficult for me to answer questions about how I feel a cuck should act and it’s also why humiliation is so fluid and completely dependent on the people involved. If he’s not into it then I’m not likely going to be either but if he does get turned on by it then it’s something I will likely run with.
Having said all of that, it really does take two people who love to see each other’s needs fulfilled – and that’s not something that should be unique to cuckolding relationships. Sure I like how seemingly selfish and unfair cuckolding is compared to hotwifing but when you think of it, if that’s the way he loves it then really it’s about perception.
Cuckolding is about love; love that we show in ways that society would consider to be taboo. If both people are happy, fulfilled, and in love, then who cares about what other people think. They don’t know what they’re missing.
Venus xo
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“The Queen of Spades tattoos are a huge turn on for both cucks and bulls. Cucks feel like it puts them in their place and black bulls love the dedication to them. It’s great.”
Venus
One of the things people ask me about a lot is my Queen of Spades tattoos. I have three of them, one on my ankle, one right above my pussy, and one on the back of my neck. For those of you who don’t know, a Queen of Spades tattoo signals to people that I prefer sleeping with black men.
A little over four years ago I first came across the symbol online and a few weeks later, got my first one – it’s the one right above my pussy. People always ask me what the tattoo artist said when I got it done, and honestly it’s not a very exciting story, he didn’t know what it meant so was not a big deal. A few weeks after that I went to Phoenix to see a cuck and while he was in chastity and I was straddled over him he took some beautiful photos – one of my absolute favourite ones is widely shared on the internet now but you can see it in the Venus Vault. It’s so stunning…so symbolic, a piece of art.
About a year later I got the same Queen of Spades tattoo on my ankle, with the name of my late cuck under it. That one obviously has a lot of meaning to me and I don’t talk about that part of my life much.
The most recent one on the back of my neck is of a crown with a ring of spades around it (also in the Venus Vault). Although it’s a Queen of Spades tattoo, it does take some interpreting to understand it. I get asked about that one a lot at work when I wear my hair up and I usually just say something about loving the symbolism of a crown and that’s it.
Countless people have asked me what people say about my ankle tattoo when I’m in public and the answer is they don’t. No one has ever known what it means and said something to me about it. Maybe it’s where I live (no one here seems to know anything about this sort of thing) or maybe people are just too shy I don’t know but it’s not like I hide it. I go to the beach, wear skirts out downtown, and go to the indoor swimming pool and still no one even looks at me like they know what it means. I think far more people in the US know what it means and I’m more likely to get comments about it down there.
Regardless of the lack of comments, the Queen of Spades tattoos are a huge turn on for both cucks and bulls. Cucks feel like it puts them in their place and black bulls love the dedication to them. It’s great. Will I be getting any more QoS tattoos? I don’t think so. Three is enough for me. Will I want one for my cuck? I don’t know. I like the idea but I haven’t seen one I like yet.
Am I worried that one day I might regret my tattoos? No I doubt it. I love them. They are part of who I am and I’m proud of them. I hope I inspire other women to get a Queen of Spades tattoo as well.
Venus xo
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“I’m here to say YES it is possible for you to lock up and YES you can do it and believe it or not you will actually appreciate it in a way you never thought was possible.”
Venus
There are some aspects of cuckolding relationships that I admit, some people think of as ‘extreme’. Chastity is one of them. I’m a fan. I love holding keys.
Nothing scares a guy more than the mention of chastity. It’s an automatic response: “There’s no way I could do that.”. I think it’s funny that’s always the exact reaction followed by “I need to jerk off every day – it just would never work.”. I’m here to say YES it is possible for you to lock up and YES you can do it and believe it or not you will actually appreciate it in a way you never thought was possible.
Because chastity is way more of a mental challenge than a physical one – for me and for you. The first few days are going to be the most challenging and I hate this part. You’re going to be anxious, needy, and probably going to be getting on my nerves. Luckily after a few weeks you figure it out and get used to being locked. You start to feel more mentally focused, on work and on me and things in your life other than jerking off have more importance to you now. After a few months (or sooner) you begin to feel like the cage is part of your body and part of who you are. Being unlocked is great but you actually want to be locked up again – yes believe me on this one!
For me, I will always remember the first time I held keys. It felt like I had so much power and control knowing I could lock or unlock him at any time. I would wear them on a chain around my neck and occasionally casually touch the key with my hand and think about his cage so snug and tight…I loved it. I’ve held keys for a few people since and the longest I’ve kept someone locked has been about 3 months although the length of time is not as important to me as us together enjoying the time he’s locked.
Having said all of that I want to stress the importance of investing in a good quality chastity cage. Don’t waste your time and money on an off the shelf cheap made in China cage. It will pinch or rub in all the wrong places and it will probably break in no time. I would recommend a custom made stainless steel cage. You can take some careful measurements and then have one made exactly the right size. You’ll likely never need to buy another cage after that.
For the women and men out there who are at least curious about chastity I would say do some research about it, talk to some people who have done it, and try it. Trust me – you’ll love it.
Venus xo
P.S. I’ve added some of my favourite chastity photos to the Venus Vault! Don’t have access? Become a Patron of the Venus Cuckoldress blog and get access to the Venus Vault for private NSFW photos.
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“Cuckolding demands a high level of trust and communication and it continually challenges it in many ways. If there is the slightest waver, it will all eventually come crashing down. It’s no wonder most cuckold relationships begin with an already established and committed long term bond- it’s necessary.”
Venus
The complicated emotions involved in a cuckold relationship is what makes it so complex and beautiful. It’s a roller coaster of emotions and feelings, some lasting a moment, and some linger for days, but all are necessary to maintain that incredible bond between each other.
Trust is the most important aspect that anchors a cuckold relationship. If I can’t trust him then there’s no moving on from that. No cuckold relationship can function properly without a solid foundation built on trust – trust you give each other again and again without question. Trust should be a silent steady comfort, something that is a gift you give despite being vulnerable for it. Cuckolding demands a high level of trust and communication and it continually challenges it in many ways. If there is the slightest waver, it will all eventually come crashing down. It’s no wonder most cuckold relationships begin with an already established and committed long term bond- it’s necessary. From what I have heard, women are most likely to make mistakes when it comes to trust in a cuckold relationship.
Many people think that jealousy is a normal part of cuckolding – I disagree. Cuck angst is that beautiful dance of emotions…jealousy, sexual attraction, love, and anxiety, that cucks feel when the woman they love engages with another man and it’s quite different from jealousy alone. Jealousy is a negative emotion. It complicates and erodes relationships and with it the trust is lost as well. This can be a common mistake that cucks make when they are new in a cuckold relationship. Navigating this emotion can be really difficult and that’s part of why I always say that despite people thinking cucks are weak, they actually are incredibly strong – they have to be. It’s not easy!
Venus xo
Thank you to those of you who have recently become Patrons of the blog! I’ve enjoyed chatting and getting to you you all and I’m so happy that you’ve loved the access to The Venus Vault! I will be adding more of my personal photo collection soon as well as some fun extras!
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“That feeling is overwhelming for me in the best way possible. It makes me gasp, tilt my head back and just completely forget about anything else happening around me – I’m floating in big dick heaven.”
Venus
I’m a size queen. I always have been and always will be. I think I’m just made for larger than average dicks. 9″, 10″ and up…bring it. I can take it.
I understand that not all women are like me. Some prefer a smaller size, some are afraid of bigger dicks because they are terrified of stretching out and being labelled as loose. By the way I don’t understand the whole “tight pussy” thing that men pressure women to be. Honestly I feel like that would be something small-dicked white guys came up with… I mean I take offense if some guy says I have a tight pussy. I will be the first to say I fuck guys with big dicks – why the fuck would I want a tight pussy? I want a pussy that is going to warmly welcome that big dick so he can fuck the shit out of me just the way he wants. Trust me girls, guys with big dicks really don’t want some tight pussy they can’t even squeeze into and it takes them 25 minutes just to warm it up.
I had a preference for larger size for as long as I can remember. I love the feeling of being stretched, feeling full, and him bottoming out on my cervix. That feeling is overwhelming for me in the best way possible. It makes me gasp, tilt my head back and just completely forget about anything else happening around me – I’m floating in big dick heaven. I realize for many women that feeling can be uncomfortable, even painful, but not for me. I crave it, need it, and have to have it. Just have a look at some of my photos in the Venus Vault and you will understand what I mean by big!
If a guy is smaller I’m just not going to have the same sensation. It’s going to be boring as fuck so why bother. But of course when it comes to my cuck, his size is less important to me. I will always be more satisfied by bigger guys; he needs to be a pussy eating champion. Trophies all around for him!
So for all of the women out there who obsess about the tight pussy bullshit, fuck that! Come hang out with me and I will have you being a BBC size queen in no time. Trust me, bigger is sooo much better.
Venus xo
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“In my mind in that moment I’m swept away thinking about what he is doing and I’m so turned on knowing he’s likely overwhelmed with emotion and slightly humiliated while he’s eating my cum filled pussy.”
Venus
Nothing is more intimate than the moment he comes over to me, positions his face between my thighs, and cleans up my freshly fucked pussy. Nothing.
I have a hard time explaining exactly what that moment is like…perhaps because it’s so intense and such a swirl of emotions for both of us but it’s hands down my favourite part about cuckolding relationships. It’s the ultimate loving gesture and the ultimate pussy worship and of course I love both of those things.
In my mind in that moment I’m swept away thinking about what he is doing and I’m so turned on knowing he’s likely overwhelmed with emotion and slightly humiliated while he’s eating my cum filled pussy. I think about how I’ve just been fucked by another man and now this man I adore is the one to take it all in with his gentle mouth, breathing, tasting, and feeling like a true cuck.
Sometimes my bull is there in the room, sometimes he’s not, and that doesn’t really matter to me because my cuck is all I’m focused on in that moment – the person I love more than anything. First my pussy gets entirely satisfied and then my heart gets fulfilled – what could possibly be better?? Nothing.
Moments like these are what makes this kind of relationship phenomenal and it’s why I can’t ever go back to anything else. Once you’ve experienced it, it changes you and from that point on, it’s that pinnacle level of trust, love and connection of cuckolding relationships that you seek.
I deeply love cuckolding relationships.
Venus xo
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I’ve spent countless hours writing for this blog over the years and dedicated considerable resources along the way and although I struggle at times to find the time around my full time regular job and full time life responsibilities, I still feel passionate about sharing my stories and encouraging people to see the beauty and uniqueness of cuckolding relationships. I feel fortunate to continue to have this opportunity to reach people with my blog.
Recently I introduced an option for readers to show their support by becoming a Patron of the Venus Cuckoldress Blog https://www.patreon.com/VenusCuckoldress and now for those of you who choose the “Friend” tier, you will get access to The Venus Vault which is where I share my personal photos taken along my journey over the years within this lifestyle – FYI they are explicit so NSFW! I will update the vault each month so make there will always be something new and exciting so check back often!
Thank you to those of you who support this blog. Let’s celebrate this lifestyle together! #cuckoldingislove
Enjoy!
Become a Patron!Venus xo
“In that moment my mind is floating…yet I am thinking of you, my cuck. You’re so far away but right now you are here with me in my heart.”
Venus
He is someone I’ve written about before…
I walk outside the airport to see him standing there and I stop for a moment to smile and take him in with my eyes… his beautiful dark skin, his height which towers over me, his immaculately conditioned body, his smooth sexy voice that instantly makes me want him in a way which I cannot control. It’s been so long since we last saw each other. The anticipation has been so intense.
A few steps into the hotel room and I put my things on the counter. I’m saying something about going to have a quick shower, he steps behind me, towers over me, presses against my back, and kisses the back of my neck. Mid-sentence my mind goes blank, I can’t remember what I was saying, I close my eyes and feel his BBC pressing against me, I try to speak but nothing comes out, I can only breathe him in, feel the strength of his arms and I reach back and put my hand on him. I’m his. Entirely his. He says my name and I am his. Right now. My body and my mind belongs to him. In that moment my mind is floating…yet I am thinking of you, my cuck. You’re so far away but right now you are here with me in my heart.
He lays me down on the bed, I’m on my back and he tells me to spread my legs wide. I pull my legs apart and feel the stretch. My wet pussy welcomes him, he loves it. He slides his big black cock deep in my pussy. I gasp. That feeling….fuck. I lose my mind. My head tilts back, my eyes begin to close, I whisper his name. My pussy stretches. I feel him so deep inside me. It’s overwhelming. I am in that moment which I am addicted to….swept away.
Venus xo
There are some really hot photos from that night…. Access the Venus Vault (Venus’s NSFW explicit photo collection) by becoming a Patron of the blog. It’s easy – just check out the link below!
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“The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story.”
Venus
Before I get into this post about the beautiful complexities of cuckolding, let me start out by saying I have just created a Patreon Page for those of you who appreciate this blog and want to see it continue. Patreon is a way for people to support their favourite creators. It doesn’t cost much and it’s safe and easy to use. I have never set out to monetize this site but I admit it does take a lot of resources to run it as well as I would love to be able to devote more time to promoting this beautiful relationship dynamic to the rest of the world so if you choose to support it I would be very thankful.
Become a Patron!I love cuckolding so much because of how emotional it is on so many levels. It takes a solid relationship built on trust and an emotionally strong cuck to navigate the roller coaster of thoughts and feelings that come along with it. It also takes a woman who understands the difference between love and sex and who takes pride in her own sexuality.
When people think about cuckolding, often they picture a guy watching his wife having sex with someone else. Some might even imagine it involving some humiliation. But there’s so much more to that limited scenario. The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story. It’s the careful consideration of choosing the right heels for the occasion, or a simple comment that teases. To me, those are the most fun.
It’s those things that I wish more people could understand and experience but unfortunately with the shitty online representation of cuckolding everywhere including in mainstream porn, all of this seems to be missing so no wonder people don’t think about those aspects of a cuckolding relationship. Too much cuck fantasy shit out there and not enough reality based conversation about what it’s actually like.
Cuckolding relationships are sexy as fuck, loving, creative, bonding, trusting, and rare. I may not be able to reach women with this blog but at least I can speak to the truth about what cuckolding relationships are all about and that’s something that I think many people could benefit from.
Again, thank you to those of you who choose to support this blog.
Venus xo
“Yes cuckolding is a broad spectrum with different aspects intertwined however from one end to the next, the foundation of it all is a real relationship between two people in love and that’s what makes it so special – even magical.”
Venus
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how cuckolding is portrayed online and the widespread misunderstandings about it so I’ve been giving some thought to what I feel is the most accurate definition of cuckolding and also of what I believe cuckolding definitely is not.
First of all, I realize this may be controversial to some but I believe cuckolding does not belong in a fetish list, BDSM page, or kink collection. Cuckolding is an actual relationship. Let me explain…
Cuckolding is a loving, long term, and committed relationship. It’s a consensual one-sided non monogamous relationship where both people give each other everything they need to feel fulfilled and trusted. It’s a beautiful relationship dynamic that is emotional, thrilling, and so wonderfully intense. It only works when it’s an real relationship – otherwise it is meaningless.
Having said all of that, this is what cuckolding is not: cuckolding is not some random guy asking a random woman if he can watch her fuck another guy. Cuckolding is not findoms who demand financial slavery from submissive men or use or abuse them to manipulate them – consensually or not, this is NOT cuckolding. Cuckolding is also not meeting up with a femdom ‘mistress’ for a night so the two of you can play out a cuckolding fantasy together.
Unfortunately the real meaning of cuckolding has been heavily distorted by the inaccurate portrayal in mainstream porn coupled with the femdom/findom women using the cuckoldress label for their own profit, and that’s really sad because that’s not what it’s about at all. I feel bad for the people who are just beginning to learn about cuckolding and are bombarded with these false narratives and it’s no wonder so many women are turned off by cuckolding when they happen to go online to try to learn about it.
Yes cuckolding is a broad spectrum with different aspects intertwined however from one end to the next, the foundation of it all is a real relationship between two people in love and that’s what makes it so special – even magical. So let’s get it straight: that’s the part that we all should celebrate , educate, and promote.
Venus xo
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“I had finally found the kind of relationship that was meant for me. Finally! But what really struck me was that I didn’t even know it existed before.”
Venus
It’s been a few years since I sat down to write my first post on this blog, What the fuck is cuckolding? and I have been thinking a lot about what was going through my mind at that time and what was motivating me to write.
Several months earlier I had met a guy on tinder who introduced me to this kind of relationship and it was like a feeling of relief – I had finally found the kind of relationship that was meant for me. Finally! But what really struck me was that I didn’t even know it existed before. I knew I wanted something like that but I had no idea that I could actually have it. It had me wondering how many other women out there don’t know it exists either, and of those, how many like myself would really love it. So that is why I sat down and wrote – to let other women know, hey this might be of interest to you.
Fast forward three years and I’m wondering if I’ve been at all successful with that goal. My biggest reach is through my blog and my Twitter and through stats and polls I’ve learned that 95% to 97% of my readers are men, both single and attached. This is not exactly what I’ve been hoping for.
I’ve come to learn that women just are not online reading about these things and why I don’t know, but they just aren’t here. The men are online consuming the cuckolding jerk off material and a few are genuinely interested in learning about cuckolding relationships. This is why there is so much cuck porn on Twitter and used to be on Tumblr. That’s why when a cuckolding “chat” room opens up, it’s dominated by guys sharing pics of bulls and wives and cuckolding porn while the actual conversation rooms are quiet. This is why women are turned off by it all – the representation of cuckolding online is based in porn fantasy and not reality. Where is the legitimacy to this kind of relationship?
I get it – women and men are very different with what turns them on – and I think at times I’ve been guilty of feeding into the whole visual jerk off material that men want.
So….what do I do next? I’ve written a lot on here over the years and I’ve spoken quite a bit on various podcasts about this kind of relationship, and perhaps that’s as good as it will get. It’s been an effort that I’ve managed to fit in outside of my full time normal job and full time family and life responsibilities. At times it’s been a lot of work and although I love it, I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing. Maybe despite my efforts, cuckolding relationships will remain hidden from women who could possibly love that kind of relationship and perhaps that’s just something I need to accept.
Venus xo
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“What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle (all of it not just the cuckoldress part) and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.”
Venus
I was talking to a bull who I connected with recently about something that really got me thinking and inspired me to write. What is it that sets apart the good bulls from the really great bulls in this lifestyle?
People ask me all the time what I look for in a bull and I guess for the single cucks it’s just out of curiosity but for the couples I think there’s always this unending search to find a stable of the really great bulls and that’s not an easy task. The really great ones are few and far between.
For me I have a few things that are mandatory on the list like he has to be black (American black guys are my favourite), 9+inches and thick, and fuck like a champion, but what really makes the difference is the sexual chemistry and one more very important factor….I need to love his mind. I’m not alone in wanting that last one on the list. I’ve heard this from many cuckoldresses as well. What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle (all of it not just the cuckoldress part) and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.
Sure sometimes I fuck a few new guys but the ones I keep around are the bulls who I consider to be my friends. I can talk to them about regular everyday things just as easily as getting into the most filthy of conversations about them blackfucking my pretty pussy or about me wanting their big black dick to slide down my throat, making my mascara run down. We can go months without seeing each other and there never be pressure or guilt about it, they know about each other and never have jealousy or possessiveness (actually they love it when I share pics and videos with them), and of course they love and respect how much I want and need cuckolding and BBC in my life.
There’s so much more to it than just physical attributes and liking to fuck and this is why I wish more women in this lifestyle would connect so that we can share our little black book of favourite bulls and therefore help celebrate the value of the really great bulls – they are priceless.
Venus xo
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” The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually?”
@RealCuckolding
This beautiful post is written by my friend @RealCuckolding on Twitter and it’s a subject that I feel many women struggle with so share this one with all of the women in your life – it’s that important! – Venus xo
This isn’t the blog entry I promised to write, but it’s the issue most on my mind lately. Partly, that is because it’s important and yet it’s something I sometimes let slide because I can be selfish. It’s important to remind ourselves what matters. We are incredibly lucky. My cuck and I live exactly the life we want. We have beautiful children, rewarding professions, are madly in love, and are living exactly the sexual lifestyle we prefer. I am a cuckoldress, free to fuck, date, and pursue whomever I chose, and he worships me for that freedom. He desires it for me and I lap it up with abandon. As content as we are, we endeavor to grow in our chosen sexual lifestyle. We began non-consensual non-monogamy, after all, to explore our desires together. We’ve been swingers, we dabbled in hotwifing, and now, 20 years into a happy marriage, have found ourselves here: cuckoldress and cuckold, still learning, still growing.
I say all of this to start because the place we still feel we have the most room to grow is when it comes to cuckolding is humiliation. I’ll admit that this was, and still is, the hardest part of the lifestyle to realize for my partner. This is partially because for most of our lives we are taught to coddle the male ego. They are virile, strong, masculine. Their cocks satisfy us deeply. We lie and say we only have eyes for our man and other drivel that demeans the honesty of our loving relationships. It was also difficult because I love my husband and telling him that his penis is sad, or that it’s been years since I’ve even remotely thought of it as satisfying, seems like it’s hurtful (though I think all those things regularly, more on that later). It’s also hard because we are wired differently. While I’m a highly sexual person, it’s not always at the forefront of my mind. We all live at the intersections of our lives, mother, wife, co-worker, sister, daughter, coach, friend – for each of us that list is different, but it’s there and it means we are never JUST a cuckoldress – even if that is a huge part of who we are.
I know from conversations with other cuckoldresses that humiliation can be a struggle. And as I said above, I sometimes share that struggle. It’s important that we understand, cucks too, that this is a legitimate emotional hurdle for most women. Especially true for those of us that don’t identify as a domme. But, I’ve learned my struggles are rooted in the guilt engrained in managing fragile masculinity. Ironic, because I have ZERO guilt about being the slut I am, yet guilt can linger when I am trying to honestly express feelings that are both true and arousing to my cuck. What I now realize, the magic element, the one that truly unlocks all of sexuality, and indeed my best cuckoldress, is consent. To say it directly: the humiliation my cuck desires is consensual. He wants it. He needs it. And what’s more, he needs it from me – his friend, partner, lover. Consent is about trust, and that is the root of cuckolding.
Humiliation for my cuck invests in me the trust to be a truly open, loving, and free partner. Conversely, it tells him that he is free to accept his desire to be a cuck and embrace all that it has to offer him.
My cuck is trusting me with the freedom to enjoy the full breadth of my sexuality. He trusts me to explore my attractions to other men without guilt or hesitation. It also allows me to share my most honest feelings about our relationship. I don’t have to pretend I am satisfied by him sexually, which allows us to grow and explore forms of intimacy that are ultimately more honest and fulfilling. Especially when I know they are feelings that excite him, there is never need lie to ourselves. It’s an incredible freedom to tell him, in a loving way, that he will never be my primary sexual partner ever again. It’s a fact. We are stronger for sharing it.
The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually? I’m afforded the same freedom in my life, even if the cocktail of emotions I feel are completely different. Anyone who has ever feared sharing a fantasy with a partner knows the power it gives someone over you. A glimpse into the hidden and dark corners of what makes you, you. It’s scary, sure, but when you are accepted and heard, it’s thrilling, and it completes you. The bond with that person is stronger for the sharing. It was when I realized that he needs to feel those emotions and loves me for them that it clicked: humiliation isn’t what’s hurtful – denying my cuck the same freedom to enjoy what he enjoys is.
In our cuckold marriage humiliation both is and is becoming a mutual and loving part of our lives. It doesn’t happen all at once. What a cuckoldress and a cuck get from this lifestyle are different, but they are mutually reinforcing. I’m not writing about how to humiliate your cuck. There are plenty of other blogs with amazing ideas for accomplishing that. What I’m hoping to convey is that the resistance to humiliate is a normal reservation that most of us have, or have had. You aren’t doing it wrong if you struggle. You aren’t a bad partner. If you’re listening, growing together, exploring, failing, trying again, learning something new – we call that being in a relationship.
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Venus
“Expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.”
I’m such a huge fan of Dan Savage and his column ‘Savage Love’ and I’ve said many times that it’s because of his column that I’m who I am today so when I heard he was going to do a live show in Vancouver last weekend I gathered up my girlfriends for a fun night out.
He was taking questions from the audience and I and was lucky enough to have him answer one of mine “What advice would you give a single cuckoldress looking for a single cuck for a long term relationship?” His answer was totally on point and I realized, hey I already know all of that! It got me thinking…I really have learned a lot over the past 4 years in this lifestyle and if only back then I knew what I know now. Shit.
So here I am reflecting on all of the lessons I’ve learned and I’m sharing them so that other women might be able to learn from my experiences.
P.S. Black guys fuck better. Just saying.
P.P.S. Check out my latest podcast interview with the Casual Swingers Podcast: Cuck you! Exploring the world of cuckolds & hotwives with Cuckoldress Venus
Venus xo
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This post is written by my friend @UsefulBetaCuck on Twitter. It’s thought provoking, reflective, controversial, and in my opinion right on point. – Venus xo
@UsefulBetaCuck
“In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us. For women it should be obvious, the price they’ve paid is the loss of their men.”
For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine. It’ll also cross the spectrum of their sexual identity; be they dominant, submissive, a bull, a cuck, whatever, the problem is universal.
If I could change one thing it would be the culture of men in general. A good portion of my thinking exists in the “old world” and those old souls among us feel like voices crying in the wilderness. Just leaving cuckolding aside for a minute, I value what I’ve made of myself as a man. If you met me, at least superficially, you would never guess that you were talking to a sexual submissive. I’m hard working, articulate, well read, well kept, in shape, active and even “alpha” in my community and work life.
But then I look around and what I see is little boys walking in grown men’s bodies. (And it’s not just the younger generation, millennials are simply products of their environment. So enough about millennials being the problem.) It’s really a problem of my generation and the one before me. It’s like they lost any semblance of reality. First sign of pain and they quit. First sign a woman is her own autonomous being and will not take their shit and they abandon. And I’m talking in the real world, online it’s simply set in overdrive.
In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us. For women it should be obvious, the price they’ve paid is the loss of their men. (If you want to test this, take away your man’s smart phone and see how he behaves. Does he suck it up or does he throw a tantrum?) And how do you box and sell manhood? You don’t. It’s the social mores of real masculinity in the culture that we’ve lost. The pessimistic side of me says we’ll never get it back, at least not with the current stock of men raising the next generation.
Now combine all this with a submissive male that’s addicted to porn and to jerking off and sees nothing more in a real life woman than another tool to achieve his next orgasm. It’s likely as high as 95% of all so-called cucks online who fall into this category. They want you to be a means to an end and not the end itself. This is where the problem and solution lies.
Women, there’s little chance your men will do this on their own but you have to require, to demand nothing less than your man actually be a man. No matter who he is, if he loves you he’ll know you are not just some insignificant object through which he vicariously gets off. This is one reason considering being a cuckoldress is such an empowering option. You make the rules, you set boundaries and you will be respected by a partner who’s not just a cuck, but a man.
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