Understanding Motivations

Often lost in the discussion of fantasies are the motivations. Men usually focus on the who, what, when, where, and how. But don’t overlook the why. When discussing this topic with women, the first question many of them will have is, “why would you want me to do this?” And that is an essential question. 

If you look into the horror stories of cuckolding gone wrong, you can often trace it back to misaligned priorities and motivations to begin. Venus and her guests really hammer home the notion that this lifestyle must be about her, and for a good reason. When the north star is the same for both partners, when it’s solely about her exploration and pleasure, this lifestyle’s complexities become easier to navigate together. 

Presented without judgment are some potentially problematic motivations for a cuckold: 

You are secretly bisexual

There is nothing wrong with bisexuality. The problem word is secret. If you are using cuckolding as a way to safely and without shame explore your bisexual side, with a female partner there to make it “not gay” then expect problems. Right off the bat, this comes off as being about you and not her. 

You want to control

Again, if this is about you wanting to feel power and dominance over two other human beings, you ask for problems. I get the appeal of being a private porn director, but here’s the problem, you are trying to feel like the alpha in the room while bringing a well-hung bull with a massive ego of his own and giving him access to your partner’s body. If he is experienced and talented, you are likely in for a rude awakening about who is in charge. This is one of that those that have true nightmare potential, as seen in the news recently. 

You are fragile

As stated in previous posts, this lifestyle is not for the faint of heart. There are many reasonably safe ways to explore submissiveness, and this one could be perfect, as long as everyone knows it going in. Most partners will be delighted (some thrilled) with exploring the limits of your submissiveness. The only challenge here potentially is if you are submissive and fragile. If the idea of being dominated, teased, and helplessly outperformed appeals to you in private, then you should find a way to slowly test your limits until you are sure you can handle it. Even the most tender and compliant man has an ego, and it’s hard to predict what happens when that ego is crushed. 

You want proof she’s a slut

Look, it’s very sexy to explore a woman’s slutty side. Some partnered women indeed are sluts that just decided to settle down with a nice guy. It’s a pervasive fear for men that they are the guy she settled for, but secretly she wants all the hot men out there. If this is your suspicion about your wife, then talk to her about her past. Advice for how here: https://venuscuckoldress.com/past-as-prologue/  What you shouldn’t do is use this as a trap to prove your paranoia and insecurities to be well-founded. This will never prove anything. I promise because her reasons for agreeing to this almost certainly have less to do with her being an unrepentant slut than her wanting to find creative ways to enhance your relationship. Statistically speaking, if she’s a slut, she’s likely cheated on you already. 

So what are some good reasons? 

You feel the passion fading

This happens, it’s natural and expected. After an initial honeymoon period, most couples reach a point where the essential exploration of each other’s wants and needs hits that 80/20 rule. This is the point where it’s often a great idea to introduce toys, fantasies, and yes, maybe even other people. It is the exact right time to communicate more about your wants and needs and push past the lull in the sex life. 

You reach the limits of your ability to please her

You’ve explored, gotten creative, tried it all, but you sense, and she admits that there is an itch you just can’t quite scratch. You’ve been attempting toys, and they are great, but not the same. Most women have limits they want to be pushed. While sex with you is a lovely, pleasing, and fantastic day to day, there are times when she needs to be taken into a different realm, shattered into a thousand pieces, and have you after that to help put her back together. 

You are both true extroverts

Extroverts are energized by interacting with other people. Monogamy and extroversion can be a challenge for many people. Bringing in other partners can be a way to draw energy and electricity from others. An experienced bull can provide that sexual energy to the room, and two extroverts may revel in that extremely heightened environment. 

She’s an exhibitionist

Maybe she just likes showing off, and wearing a bikini on the beach isn’t quite enough anymore. Maybe she reveled in the looks guys gave her on the beach when younger, but it can’t be beach weather all year long. Perhaps she’s done fashion shows for you alone, your private dancer, but she needs a new prop. She really loves how she looks when in the throws of passion and wants you to see that other side of her from across the room. If this is the case, ask her if she wants you to bring a camera. 

So, in summary, the possibilities are endless on how to execute this lifestyle. Before you do, make sure you and your partner both understand the motivations for why you each want this in your life. When you both understand why, the what, who, when, where, and how will be the easy part.