[Guest Post] Health Benefits of Cuckolding

I’ll be honest. We didn’t embark on this journey because of the health benefits. There were lots of other aspects that drew us towards cuckolding. Enhanced connection between each other. Excitement. Escape. The fun of dirty erotic delicious sex. As a doctor I’m never far away from thinking about biology and health and as our journey progressed I got to thinking that there had to be some biochemical change that made this life so enjoyable.

Dopamine is the reward molecule in our brain that makes us feel pleasure. It motivates us to repeat a specific behaviour that is enjoyable. Knowing my wife was having great sex, her bringing that passion home afterwards, the eroticism of it all.  Pleasure. Dopamine release. This seemed too simplistic though. We weren’t just enjoying ourselves in this life. We were happier. We had more energy. We had more drive. We slept better. Lying in bed one night after a particularly good night of cucking (she’d had her bull and his roommate fuck her for hours followed by clean up and more sex with me) we talked about all the emotions around the experience. She realized something she’d never really put in to words before. She had this clarity of thought. It was almost as if she had some heightened cognitive ability. It’s hard to even put in to words. She just seemed smarter.

Semen is an amazing thing. It contains many healthy molecules and hormones. One in particular – Nerve Growth Factor (NGF) – can actually enhance cognition. It helps nerves grow and repair themselves. It has anti-inflammatory properties. When we gain weight and don’t exercise our levels of NGF drop. This can actually drop our cognitive skills. Ingesting semen can boost levels of NGF. Swallowing semen probably isn’t as effective as absorption through the vagina and uterus. Acid in the stomach might break the molecule down. As much as a good blow job or anal sex is fun evolution did optimize reproduction and semen for release in to the vagina. When a man ejaculates in to a woman all of the hormones contained in semen are released into her providing physiologic benefit.

Testosterone also increases our cognition but also our focus and drive. It is one of the main factors determining sex drive. It boosts our mood and energy. Semen is full of testosterone. Fortunately this molecule isn’t broken down in the stomach acid so blow jobs are still a health benefit. Now you might be thinking semen sounds great but what does this have to do with cuckolding? Why not just have 1:1 sex and still get the same benefits? Fair enough.

Most men are excited by the idea of their wife or girlfriend being with another guy. If you weren’t you probably wouldn’t be reading this post. When a man thinks about his wife with another man his testosterone increases. His erections are stronger. His drive is higher. He is competing for his wife. His biology responds by raising his own testosterone. Knowing another man has ejaculated in to his wife and that she has thoroughly enjoyed herself takes things to an even higher level. Being cuckolded will dramatically raise your testosterone levels. The concentration of testosterone in your semen will also markedly increase. It’s not just testosterone but also oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin, and the list goes on. That delay in reaching your own climax – that oh so painful wait while your wife is spreading herself for a fit attractive endowed bull, getting filled and fucked hard – you are building up testosterone among other hormones. Her bull pumping her full of cum is pumping both her and the cuck full of testosterone.

You can start to see the cascade effect here. Healthier semen full of more hormones that you are then releasing in to your wife. But you are just one person giving her this benefit. Her bull or bulls are doing the same. And the bulls out there know this is a fun lifestyle that also raises your testosterone. More testosterone and healthy hormones for the cuckoldress from multiple sources. She gets more benefit than semen from a single source. It doesn’t stop there. One of the most rewarding aspects of this cuckold relationship is the cleanup. I always would feel this boost in mood and energy after cleaning up my wife when she comes home from a night of passion. Of course it’s a more emotionally complex process than just some hormones but the semen in the clean up does contain a lot of testosterone that gets absorbed in to the guy enjoying tasting his wife’s earlier fun. Those nights I’ve enjoyed cleaning her up after she’s been with her bull and his roommate when she’s that extra full and satisfied even after I’ve cum I find I have an erection most of the night and in to the next day. Testosterone I’ve swallowed is part of the reason.

I know the biochemistry of it all can seem somewhat boring but we really are just a collection of chemicals and molecules. It’s fascinating to think about some of the biology behind cuckolding. Maybe it’s even an ice breaker with your partner to open up about some of your own desires about this lifestyle. Talk about some of the benefits you’ve read about semen. Bridge that in to discussing benefits of semen from another source. Remember though semen can also contain STDs and being safe is important. We only play unprotected with bulls we trust and who have been tested. Nothing kills drive and mood faster than an infection you sure don’t want!

Stay safe out there and get that semen in to you. Both of you.

Aaron and Simone

About the author

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.

The Edge of Glory – Extending Your Fun

Too often, our conversations around sex, for women and men, is about “cumming”, how many times and how intense. For many men, masturbation early in life was a sprint to the finish before they get caught.  Edging is a way to extend the fun for all.

Lost in all of the size matters discussions is the concept of stamina. Stamina can mean many things, but in most cases, it means the time a man can sustain an erection before needing a break. Typically that break comes after ejaculation or orgasm. Some men are blessed with the superpower (usually when young) to maintain an erection post-orgasm. Still, for most, the orgasm signals the end of the fun. 

Some men can slow build-up from foreplay to stimulation via sex and maintain a flow for significant periods to allow their partner to experience her pleasure, orgasm, and perhaps multiple orgasms before allowing himself to orgasm himself. 

Why it Matters

Most women love a guy who can play with dynamics of varying intensities. For many, The best sex starts slow to get into the moment and rhythm. When she’s ready, the hard fucking will send her into orgasm.  After her climax, her lover backs off, allowing her to catch her breath on the comedown before starting to build that intensity again. Those rolling waves of passion and dynamism, extended over time, tend to be a woman’s most memorable experiences. 

Other men, no matter how hard they try, can only last a few minutes being directly stimulated before they crash over the edge. Some are the tortoise, and some are the hare. Couples are increasingly solving this challenge with chastity, which is a valid but not the only option.

For the highly motivated but not genetically blessed, some men look to find ways to prolong the duration of pleasure through edging. 

What is Edging? 

For the uninitiated, edging is essentially a method of prolonging sexual pleasure by managing the stimulation, approaching orgasm, then taking the foot off the pedal just before orgasm. Think of the intensity of paddling down a river in a canoe towards a waterfall or set of rapids. The moment of anticipation just before you hit the first drop. The waterfall is the orgasm, its intensity can be indescribable, but the moment just before is special in its own way. Edging is trying to extend that pre-orgasmic state of pleasure where everything is intense but not crashing to a conclusion until you are sure no one in the room has anything left to give. 

Why Edging?

Cuckolding porn is available with a simple mouse click. You can find thousands of videos of varying lengths from 30 seconds to an hour to watch on the internet. But as easy as cuckolding porn is to find, it’s even easier to turn off when you cum. When masturbating alone, a cuck can watch only the most intense clips, cum in 2 mins, and get back to his day. 

Real-world cuckolding is not nearly as disposable. When sharing your partner with another man, the timeline of when it is over is up to him. They will find their groove, build their dynamics, hit their climax, and perhaps slow down, catch their breath and build up again.  You are strapped in another person’s boat, and you don’t get out of the water when you decide to go over the waterfall. You are along for the ride with them. 

So if you are conditioned to race to your orgasm as quickly as possible, you could be in for a long awkward time sitting around with a flaccid dick watching your partner continue to get her brains fucked out. What seemed super hot and sexy before you bust a nut might not seem nearly as interesting after. So prolonging and delaying your orgasm to time it with your partner is super important. 

How to Edge 

There is no magical secret to stamina or edging. Edging requires learning your own body’s signals, what your brain is doing, and truly being present in your body. A major challenge for premature ejaculators is being disconnected from their body, too much in their mind or visual stimulation. If you aren’t blessed with natural stamina and most men aren’t, then a lot of practice is required. 

Step 1: Sensual versus goal-oriented masturbation

Shift the mindset from masturbating for release to a mindset of embracing the sensations. Tell yourself it’s ok if you don’t even orgasm from this session alone; just feel your pleasure. 

Step 2: Remove the shame

Masturbation feels good, just like sex. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you take time to practice self-care. Think of it as going for a massage, or a good hot shower, or a great meal. Embrace your self-pleasure without obsessing about your orgasm. 

Step 3: Track your pleasure

As stated above, pleasure is a wave, build-up, climax, come down. The only way to extend that wave is to track it. Think of your pleasure on a scale. 1 is not thinking about sex at all; 100 is the most intense orgasm of your life. Where on that scale do you normally lose control and orgasm? By paying close attention to your sensations, you will be able to shift the pleasure not just for a longer duration but higher before crashing. Don’t let yourself get close until you absolutely can no longer stand it. Then look at how long you held out. Try to make that duration improve over time. 

Step 4: Forgive yourself – Just as it must be ok to lose when compared to her lovers, it has to be ok to fail when trying to delay orgasm. You are looking for an incremental improvement over a long period. The more you gain control over your own sensations, the better prepared you will be to be present while she’s experiencing pleasure. Your long-term goal should be a release with their final climax so that the entire room is filled with simultaneous orgasmic intensity right at the end.

Unraveling the cuck shame spiral – with Dr David Ley

Have you struggled with the cuckolding fantasies and thoughts that you have? Have you felt like you don’t have control over them? Do you feel “addicted” to cuckold porn or cuckolding fantasy sites? This episode could quite possibly be the most important thing you’ll listen to!

Dr. David Ley sits down with Venus to explore why so many men seem to fall into the cuck shame spiral, the reasons behind it, and steps they can take begin to turn it around.

Watch the trailer for the episode:

Full episode:

David Ley is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He’s the author of several books and research articles on sexuality, including his first book, Insatiable Wives – Women who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, which was the first book to examine the cuckolding and hotwife phenomenon. With Justin Lehmiller and Dan Savage, he published the first psychological study of the cuckold fantasy. Dr. Ley is a frequent guest in media around the world, with appearances in the New York Times, CNN and Time Magazine, as well as Hustler and Playboy magazines.

Website:
Dr. David J. Ley

Books by Dr. David Ley:
Insatiable Wives
The Myth of Sex Addiction 

[Guest Post] Wired to Compete – How Standard Western Masculinity Factors Into Cuckolding Issues

When looking at the cuckolding dynamic from different perspectives, a topic often brought up is the aspect of humiliation. The word humiliation carries all sorts of connotations, mostly negative. When we focus on the end state, shame, we are skipping to the end of a very human dynamic, that of competition. 

Humans, and especially men, are wired to compete. Competition is baked into a male from early in life, especially in the United States. Society raises boys to compete in sports, academics,  and even video games. Gambling is a form of competition. Venus mentioned on a recent podcast episode that cuckolding dynamics are most common in the United States. And that makes sense because the competition is a core value of America. 

And at the end of the day, as much as compersion is a driving factor in the lifestyle, it often pales in comparison to the sheer intensity of feeling the fight or flight trigger of having another man fuck your partner. 

So why does this trigger men?

So why does this trigger men, especially American men? The inherent challenge to someone’s manhood in 2021 and beyond is increasingly difficult for adult men to recapture. The challenge triggers a fight or flight feeling that sports and other outlets used to supply.  As much as sex is about intimacy and communication for women, there are genuine parallels to men’s athletics. But for the average, or even above average male, their athletic career ends in High School or, at best, college.  

The old ABC sports motto, “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat,” captures the emotional stakes for so many men.  And this goes for both “Bull” and “Cuck.”  The Bull competes on safe ground, using an attached woman to recapture his glory days by reveling in his apparent physical superiority. 

The Cuckoldress glories..

The cuckoldress glories in the empowerment of having her cake and eating it too, knowing, on some level, she is the ultimate decider of who wins and who loses. She revels in the sheer physicality of her bull, knowing she can play the sexual game with him on a level that her partner cannot match. She gets to live in that rarified air of a kind of sex many other women only dream about.

The kind of sex women often think they had to give up in order to find the stability and emotional support of a reliable life partner. Guys who can fuck like her bull are harder to pin down, perhaps she chased that unicorn for years when younger only to feel like she had to sacrifice either stability or multiple orgasms. Venus speaks powerfully on why it is so enticing to women to have it all, even if it’s not all delivered by one single man. 

For the cuckold, he navigates the high wire emotions of immense stakes and has the emotional fortitude to endure the agony of defeat. This feeling of thrill and agony flips on its head when the bull leaves. The girlfriend returns to her partner, giving him the ultimate prize, the final victory. He may have lost the battle, but he’s won the war. 

About the author:

Will Acorn has lived the complex dynamics of the lifestyle for most of his sexual life. Will has been married to a Queen of Spades for 25 years. His life growing up as an elite athlete in a major inner city gave him a unique insight into the dynamics around this lifestyle from his teens. Acorn is a student of history, societies and cultures and is a strong proponent of Venus’ mission to empower women to take back their sexuality while improving communication, acceptance and understanding about the deeply fascinating aspects of non-monogamy.

Will Acorn on Twitter: https://twitter.com/acorn_will

[Guest Post] Being a mom in a cuckolding lifestyle

My husband and I decided right from the start of our journey into this cuckolding lifestyle that discretion and privacy would be paramount. Family and being a busy mom comes first. That doesn’t mean I don’t want an exciting naughty sex life as well as all that cuckolding has to offer us both, however it does mean that I have to be mindful to manage that somewhat more complicated piece of keeping this part of my life separate from the others. I’m a psychologist in my day job and I think having sex positive discussions with kids especially during the teenage years sets them up for more success as they enter adulthood. Good safe sex is important for us as humans and teaching our kids how to develop in to mature healthy sexual beings is part of parenthood.

Having said that, just as I don’t need to know all about their future sexual endeavors they don’t need to know all about mine either. Sharing age appropriate lessons and mistakes is important, and answering their questions is important, however telling them everything (at least until they are MUCH older) is not okay right now. For example, when I dress up for a date with a bull I’m going to tell them I’m heading out with a girlfriend for dinner and adult time. I might head to the car with my butt plug in, but wait to add my sexiest heels once I’ve left the house, and I’m not going to say “I’m actually skipping dinner, heading straight to this hard bodied guy’s house so that we can fuck for hours, and I’ll be home later so that your dad can reconnect with me by cleaning up my very well used pussy.”

Timing is important. Most of the bulls I’ve enjoyed over the years have been professional type men with busy day jobs. They have however typically been in positions where they can quite easily take time away from work to play during daytime hours. I’ve enjoyed many dates after getting kids to school. Visiting my husband at work after a playful morning to show him just how “full” I am is quite naughty and always gets me off. Daytime isn’t always ideal for everyone though. For those in the cuckold lifestyle you know that reconnecting with your primary man after being with your bull is extremely important. Making all that work with jobs during a limited window of time is challenging.

We’ve scheduled date nights once a month. Sometimes more if I’ve got a new lover who’s body I just can’t hold back exploring. With COVID precautions though, that has been far too long ago! We tell our kids we are going on a date, we both dress up, and it seems like a very normal married couple date night. I love sexy lingerie on my body and I make sure to let my husband see exactly what my bull is going to enjoy before him when I pull my dress off. We leave the house together – after that however date night takes on a less traditional route. My husband will drop me off at a local hotel we frequent often. It’s got a sophisticated sexy vibe. I meet my bull in the bar for a drink. Sometimes my husband doesn’t even know which bull(s) I’m meeting. I like to keep him guessing. The power dynamic is important here. He knows once he drops me off it is about my pleasure. It isn’t leaving him out – quite the opposite. He knows I’m going to have a really good time and he gets huge sexual satisfaction from that waiting.

Once I’ve left the bar to head upstairs I let him know he can come in and wait inside the lobby. Rarely I’ve had him come in sooner to have him watch me flirt and build up the sexual energy with my lover. That however fits more with a hotwife dynamic as opposed to cuckolding. I prefer him to trust that I know how to flirt and that I’m focused on connecting with my bull. It’s about my pleasure at this stage not about putting on a show for him. There is something about walking in to a nice sexy hotel room with your lover knowing you are going to be having dirty erotic sex that just turns me on so much. I’m usually soaking wet before I even get off the elevator. I love my husband more than anyone but at this point in the date I’m focused on my bull and my sexual pleasure.

I love a hard fit man. I love a big cock. I love a man with stamina. I love a man who knows how to fuck. How to fuck me hard. My bull and I will usually enjoy a good few hours of sex with laughing and conversation breaks in between sessions. I genuinely love sucking my bull off. Having my face fucked is amazing. I enjoy the naughtiness of having my ass fucked. My favourite hands down is DP or DV. My best experiences have been with a bull I’ve really built a strong long term connection with who’s got the sexiest of roommates. The two of them know exactly how to fuck me. That dirty, sweaty, I just can’t take more of it, fully pleasured type of sex. In that moment I’m not a mom or wife. I’m a woman who is enjoying herself more than I thought possible. It’s about me (and my lovers – I’m not selfish far from it haha).

Once my bull has left I let my husband know he can come upstairs to join me. This part of the date is my favourite. When he walks into a room that smells of sex, pillows, sheets, my clothes thrown about, hand prints on the windows, wet spots on the couch, and me looking very satisfied. The lust in his eyes is amazing but it’s more than just lust – it’s love. Love for me, for me to experience all that a sexual being can experience, and love that I can be independent and in control of my body and mind. And in return I love him more than anyone I’ve ever loved. Because he is a cuckold, the best way I can show him that love is to sit back on the love seat, spread my legs apart, and have him on his knees as he cleans me up. I hold his hands. I hold his head. We reconnect together. I don’t deny him (well sometimes I do if we are playing that game).

Usually by this point we realize the time is way later than expected. We madly shower, rush to clean up, try to look less umm like we’ve just been fucking, jump in the car and rush home. Kids are usually in bed but still awake, lunches still need to be made for the next day, laundry needs to be to throw in, and dishes need to be unloaded from the dishwasher – real life mom stuff. Done by a mom who loves her kids, her husband, and her life. Her very full life. All of it. Especially the part that stays private.

About the author

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.