It’s a simple question that likely every guy who has thought about cuckolding relationships has wondered…. yet it’s not such a simple answer.
Should I be careful what I wish for? How do I know cuckolding is right for me? How do I know the reality won’t be that much different from the fantasy? How do I know if I will regret it?
This episode is a listener question and in order to dive deep on this one, Venus enlisted the help of 10 guys in the cuckolding lifestyle to weigh in and offer their advice. They’ve offered up an outstanding collection of helpful tips and strategies that will be invaluable to many listeners of the podcast.
Society has been constructed around the male ego, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that “size doesn’t matter” is a phrase that women are raised to say. But when you step back a bit from the Eurocentric patriarchal perspective, it looks ridiculous as a statement. Of course, size matters.
Saying size doesn’t matter tends to be an analog for a woman saying, “I value many things when looking for a life partner.” The connotation is true, even if it is factually incorrect. To say size doesn’t matter in sex is akin to saying height doesn’t matter in basketball. Yes, some of the most outstanding players in NBA history were not over 7 feet tall, but generally speaking, if you want to play the game at the highest levels, you will need to be above average height.
The Average male in 2021 is 5’10” tall. Let’s just continue the thought exercise for a moment and look at the best players in NBA history (in no particular order, please don’t argue over this list).
Lebron James 6’8″
Michael Jordan 6’6″
Kareem Abdul Jabaar 7’2″
Wilt Chamberlain 7’1″
Kobe Bryant 6’6″
So to be the best of the best, it helps to have a size or athleticism advantage; this is not controversial. So why is it controversial to admit that sex, one of our most intense physical activities, has a physical component? Hint: It shouldn’t be taboo to admit.
But Why Does It Matter?
Here is a quick top 10 reasons why bigger dicks confer a fundamental advantage during sexual encounters.
Positional Versatility – We all have our favorite positions, and those may vary depending on the partner and how your bodies fit together. However, there is no arguing that extra length can really open up some more options for positions that are either not mutually satisfying, or simply not possible for smaller men.
Visual Appeal – Men are thought of as the more visual gender, but women are not immune to the site of a good body, good abs and yes, a big dick. There is just a power and sense of awe that someone can get when in the presence of something immense.
Objectivity and Comparison – Perhaps my most controversial statement of this post, but women are the worlds best shoppers, selectors and curators of quality. Women are fully capable of incorporating many subjective factors into their emotional attachments to a men, but they also have egos that are deeply drawn to knowing they can attract the best of the best. For all of the subjective factors in a relationship, certain measureables such as height, income and yes, size can make a woman feel like she’s found a catch.
Going Deep – Ok fellas this one might hurt, but there are places inside her that not all guys can reach. When properly aroused, and when properly timed, touching her in places most men cant reach will elicit a response in her that is visceral. Don’t believe me? Here’s an exercise to try. Next time you are having sex with a woman, try using all but 2″ of your penis during the first 5-10mins of intercourse. Watch her response, look for the subtle signals, is she aching for more? Is she really getting into it? Is she pushing her hips against you? Ok now when she’s into it, thrust everything you have into her, all the way to the hilt. Watch her reaction now. Different? yeah…… Well that’s probably how she is when she get’s 2″ bigger than you.
Stamina Advantages – There is some thinking that a man has only so many nerve endings in his penis and that larger size doesn’t equate to more nerves, but more space in between nerve endings. This can result in a couple of advantages such as increased confidence and control. It’s not that sex is less pleasurable for larger men, but it’s more controllable. In general, there is some correlation between size and stamina.
The Home Stretch – It’s not all about length, good girth can give a woman a feeling of having her labia stretched. Many women report this feeling of being stretched as being as intense as deep penetration. Girth Matters.
The Danger – Remember when I said “When properly aroused, and when properly timed, touching her in places most men cant reach will elicit a response in her that is visceral.”? Well many women know what it’s like to be painfully penetrated when they aren’t ready. They know they are playing a dangerous game with a big one and if angled wrong, or timed wrong the big dick can really HURT! So it makes that moment when she takes the leap of faith to fully receive him, all of him, into her deepest and most vulnerable sanctum, all the more intense. Those high stakes can increase the intensity of the moment, making things feel more heightened than a normal casual fuck session. This is the high wire act.
Societal Rebellion – As stated in the opening, a girl is told from an early age she shouldn’t care about things like penis size. That’s not what good girls care about. Admitting she likes it is an act of punk rock rebellion. A fuck you to the patriarchy. She likes fucking, she likes sex and she likes big dick, get over it!
Sexual Selection – Let’s go back to #3 again. Darwinian theory of evolution states that certain genetic traits are advantageous for procreation and therefore become preferred among the females of the species. There is a certain symbology of the phallus that has existed in artwork dating back to Babylonian eras 6000yrs. Just as the plumage of the male Peacock symbolizes a successful male, who can afford to have an ostentatious genetic marker that has no practical advantage outside of mating rituals, a large phallus has been long prized as a marker for virility and good genes.
Turning Off Anxiety – And finally, the reason that may be emerging more and more in our complex modern world, shutting off anxiety. In a world where nothing is guaranteed, when life seems precarious at best and hopeless at worst, a big dick can give a girl a respite for a few minutes, hours, days. She can either drop to her knees and just focus on making it happy, or get on her hands and knees and let it overwhelm her insides until she and her love explode in ecstasy. Sex is natural, sex is fun, and sex can be amazing with a talented big one.
But Fear Not
If you are reading this feeling angry, resentful, or worse yet hopeless, I want to close by saying that for all of the natural advantages a big dick confers, a site like this would not exist if it were all that matters. The entire notion of cuckoldry exists because women are standing up to both have men who prioritize their pleasure in all areas of life while also having men who can deliver the pounding they occasionally crave.
Yes, if you are not well endowed, it’s a natural disadvantage, but think of it more as a challenge. You will have to be creative, committed, and relentless in your pursuit of her happiness, but if you genuinely step up to that challenge, chances are that the woman you love will think of you as a life partner, not just a friend with benefits.
This is the trilogy episode of Interracial Cuckolding and explores the female perspective of what it’s like to realize you were missing out until you found interracial cuckolding – specifically with black bulls. What exactly is it about BBC that is so appealing? Is it contrast? Is it size? Is it chemistry? Is it performance?
If you are at all curious about what interracial cuckolding is like, or have wondered why some women deeply enjoy this particular aspect, then this is the episode for you.
My husband asked me the other day what goes through my head when I’m meeting up with a bull. This should be an easy question I thought but I didn’t have an instant answer, for him. I knew I felt a complex set of emotions, mostly good ones, a huge sense of pleasure, and this excitement of being in this lifestyle. One of the things that draws me to this adventure is the complex mix of feelings and different connections that happen throughout an encounter. There is the connection to myself, my husband, and my bull. I’d just never put what goes on in my head to words before. It’s about time I change that.
For me an encounter starts days before even meeting up with my bull. I feel a sense of sexual desire. I find myself fantasizing about possibilities. Having a busy life, I tend to find myself suppressing these deliciously naughty thoughts. My hormones always get the better of me thankfully. The thoughts keep coming. My desire builds. I reach out to my bull. Usually by texting something benign but he knows me well. “How are you? Just thinking about you” very quickly turns in to reminiscing and sexting. I feel confident. Sophisticated in my ability to turn him on. I feel lust towards him. I feel love towards my husband for trusting me. For trusting our relationship. I feel young and vibrant inside. I feel sexy. I like knowing I’m building desire in my bull.
This build up before getting together is really important for my brain. I love the anticipation that develops from this foreplay. It creates distraction from my busy life. I will dress in more sexy attire. I’ll have more energy in my day to day conversations. I’m distracted but sharper at the same time. I’m turned on more than just at a sexual level. My husband will notice this. I like to tell him well before I have a date night so that I can enjoy the emotion he brings to the experience. We feed off each other’s sexual energy. I enjoy the feeling I get from teasing him. Little things like getting my hair done or nails done. He knows it’s not just for me but my bull too. I’ll make sure he sees me trying on new lingerie. He sees me work out that little bit harder. I feel his pride towards me but also that hint of jealousy. I like feeling in charge of my body. My sexuality.
Date night arrives. New emotions come flooding in. There is always that fear someone is going to discover this part of my life. Family, work, kids. Overwhelming sexual lust has always pushed right past any fear. I’m energized. I’m wet. I’m ready to fuck. Anticipation has turned to frustration and impatience. My fun can’t start soon enough. There is a part of me that worries I’m not good enough for this hard bodied younger stunningly hot man. Another part worries that what I’m doing just can’t be normal. But it feels so good for all three of us. This is our normal and I love it.
My husband likes to watch me get ready. I enjoy his gaze too. He knows not to touch me or himself. He walks me out to the car. We passionately kiss. We say a truly honest I love you and then I’m off. Driving to meet my bull is always a surreal time for me. I’m alone with my thoughts. I’m so turned on by this point. I’m in a very sexual headspace. I’m not thinking about all the complexities of life. I’m thinking about my pleasure. My bulls pleasure. What limit can I push to make this even better? What do I really want? I spend so much time looking after everyone else in my life and this is a time for my needs to be met. I worry I have it too good, the universe must need to balance things out. Will a bus hit me on the way to my hotel room? Why am I so lucky to be enjoying this. Shouldn’t I be feeling some guilt?
Walking in to the hotel lobby I feel strong. Sexy. Confident. Excited but calm. My husband has asked if I think about him once I’m there with my bull. Honestly the answer is no. It’s not that I don’t care about what he’s feeling. Quite the opposite. I know what really works for him and turns him on is if I’m fully engaged with my lover and myself. I’m being me. I’m not managing him. This part is my adventure. I’m having fun so that I can experience a full life. My husband gets to experience me afterwards.
One of the biggest benefits or feelings is that I’m in a safe place to be myself away from my home. I can be loud. No kids are going to walk in on me. Room service did walk in on me once while getting DP’d by my bull and his roommate but that’s another story! We can take our time to touch each other. To kiss. To suck. To be playful. It’s really satisfying sex. Passionate and raw. Sex with my husband is really intimate but this is different. My bulls have always been stronger. They fuck me with more intensity. I feel dirty and used in a good way. It’s a solid full body workout that gets us dripping in sweat. I feel lucky. Good sore. Full. So very full.
I’ve chosen a sex partner not a life partner for my bull. My bulls have been smart and funny – personality matters – but I’ve picked men mostly for their abilities in the bedroom. They have stamina. They have strength. They know how to fuck me. How to fuck me hard. I know I’m not committed to them forever. Nor they to me. Our relationship is 90% about sex and not bogged down with normal relationship issues. We have no mortgage, taxes, business, or child challenges to navigate. We have to simply decide if we fuck on the bed or bent over the couch? Do I want my ass filled or my face fucked? While grabbing a drink in the lobby bar do we let the cute guy at the table across from us watch my bull finger my pussy? Really deep challenging issues! It is so freeing to be in this relationship for the night.
There is a moment of intense intimacy when my bull finally releases inside of me. We usually slow our fucking down. He pushes deeply in to me. Really filling me. I kiss him as he unloads in to my body. I love the connection we have in that moment. I love the lust in his eyes. I love his understanding of this whole dynamic. Once we’ve caught our breath he withdraws out of me carefully. He knows it’s important for his seed not to all come out. He carefully pulls my panties back on to me to help keep our climax inside my body. It’s at this point I think of my husband. Truly the most most important person in my life. Our trust and love has allowed me this pleasure. I’ve been masterfully fucked for hours because of that bond and trust.
The drive back home is always longer it seems. I have this huge desire to connect with him. To show him my love for him. To share my experience. To see that desperate need he has to fuck me. It feels so good to see him so turned on. I like how hard he is. How ready he is to unload. Often I will climb up on our bed on my stomach, a pillow underneath me, presenting my well used body to him. I like feeling his jealousy. I like being in charge of how many details I give to him about my night. In this moment his only thought is of what I’ve done this evening. I like being his only focus. His need to get off. The power dynamic between us is intense. I like that his pleasure comes from my pleasure earlier in the night.
Sometimes he will clean me up. I truthfully have mixed feelings about this. I feel badly I’m such a mess for him. I worry he’s doing it for me even though he insists it’s for him. I like the pleasure his mouth brings to me. What I really crave is his cock inside of me. I want his cum in me. I want his cum to fill me like my bulls did. I don’t want him locked up. I want to use his cock for more pleasure. That feeling of him unable to hold back. Him wrapping his arms around me absolutely satisfied. Falling asleep with both their orgasms inside of me. Complete bliss.
I’m sure what goes through my head isn’t going to be the same for all women in this lifestyle. I would encourage women who are thinking about doing this and have hesitations to take that plunge. It’s a journey full of emotions but the connections and intimacy that comes from all of this is truly magical.
About the author
Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.