How do I get my wife into this? That’s the million dollar question. I believe that the key to women being receptive to considering a cuckolding kind of relationship dynamic, lies with women talking to each other about it.
I recently spent some time in an online cuckold chat room and noticed some interesting things that got me thinking. The first was that I was the only woman on there and the second was a question that kept being brought up by the husbands/boyfriends was “How do I get my wife into this?”.
There was advice and suggestions being given out and the husbands would go through the list of strategies that they would say either hasn’t worked or that they didn’t think would work with their wife, most of which included them talking to her and trying to convince her to try flirting and sleeping with other guys.
Now for those of you who know a little about me you understand that it didn’t take any convincing for me to jump right in as soon as my boyfriend brought it up, so it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why a woman would hesitate when given this opportunity. I tried hard to imagine what it was like for the wives/girlfriends out there whose husbands/boyfriends repeatedly try to approach the subject with them and it didn’t take long for me to assume that they would likely begin to feel annoyed, skeptical of their motives, or even hurt or offended by it.
The problem I think is that the pressure is coming from the men when really the conversation would be better received if it came from her friend – a woman who she trusts. I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.
As for how to connect women who are open minded enough to understand this lifestyle with women whose husbands need help, I don’t know the answer to that. I do believe however that all of the women who love this lifestyle need to start the discussions that need to take place. We need to help each other navigate the learning curve of this beautiful relationship dynamic. Write a blog, participate in chats, connect with women, talk to your open minded friends, whatever – let’s just support each other, because that’s what girlfriends are for.
Every woman deserves the opportunity to release and embrace their inner slut
This is a subject I’m quite passionate about! It’s always been my hope that all women at least get the opportunity to explore their sexuality in a safe and non-judgmental place at least once in their life. I have been one of the lucky ones who has had lots of opportunities.
About 10 years ago I began reading Savage Love by Dan Savage – a sex advice column in the Georgia Straight, a newspaper here in Vancouver – and it opened my eyes to other kinds of relationship dynamics. Dynamics that I didn’t even know existed.
Right around the same time I happened to stumble upon a swingers website and found myself chatting with some people in the chat room. I found everyone to be friendly, welcoming, and non-judgmental. It was the perfect environment for me to learn more about non-monogamy.
Next I met up with some couples and single ladies here in Vancouver and then started going to sex clubs and private events. It was these opportunities that gave me the perfect safe environment for me to explore my own sexuality and it gave me confidence, empowerment, and a sense of being comfortable in my skin, more than ever before.
I found most of the men in that lifestyle to be very respectful and fun to be around, and the women to be non-judgmental and kind (we all know that’s rare to come by!). Surprisingly most people were a lot less concerned about your body flaws and more concerned about your happiness and safety and I just loved that. What better place to feel comfortable and encouraged. I wish all women could be surrounded by similar people.
Over the next several years I released my inner slut. I tried singles, doubles, small groups, large groups, women and men, just women, toys, squirting, fisting, stretching…the list goes on. I basically tried everything that was available for me to explore within that community. It was amazing. I loved it.
Society is constantly telling women that they shouldn’t want sex and they definitely shouldn’t be a slut. We are told from a young age that there is shame in having an appetite for sex and people can be so cruel when they are busy slut shaming and ridiculing women. I wish all of that would stop. Let’s change the narrative! Let’s give women permission to release their inner slut.