“How do I get my wife into this?”

“First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer.”

Venus

It’s the million dollar question I get asked all the time and I never have a really good answer for it. But for this blog post I will try my best to address this for all of you husbands out there.

Nearly all cuckolding relationships start out with a long term relationship where the husband approaches the wife with the idea – I don’t know why but that’s the usual beginnings of it. Rarely a wife will bring it up with her husband, and even more rare is when a relationship starts out with two people who are looking for a cuckold relationship. Sometimes it happens when the wife cheats and there is a discussion to try cuckolding after that but that’s not all that common either.

So it’s usually a case where the husband is wondering how to approach his wife about it or he has and she is not on board and he wants to know how to “convince” her. No wonder I get asked about it so often.

First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer. As hard as that answer is to hear, you need to ask yourself if you will be okay with that result (it’s just not for her) and then ask yourself what that ultimately means for you. Can you be happy without it or is this something that you need long term to feel fulfilled? Those are tough questions that you will need to address. Also be prepared to accept that she may be open to trying it but not likely to love it in a way that will see her participate long term.

If you are not sure how to approach her then start working on communication in your relationship. If you’re not sure how to do that then perhaps seek some help from a counselor or therapist who is open minded to these kinds of relationship dynamics. Communication skills in a relationship are fundamental and worth the time and money you invest into it and sexual compatibility is just as important as love, trust, and connection so make it a top priority.

Do not approach it like it’s something weird – talk about it as something that bonds and connects you. Make it less about the sex with others and more about the experiences you are creating together. This is a journey you would like to take with her so let her know that she is in the driver’s seat – this is about her and the love you feel when she is able to fully express her sexuality, feel desired, and be completely sexually fulfilled.

If you’ve talked to her and she wants to do some research online please tell her to be careful or at least guide her in the right direction. Mainstream cuck porn is not what she needs to watch (it’s unrealistic garbage), amature is better but still doesn’t portray what’s really happening, and Tumblr and Twitter is just going to be a sea of jerk off material for fantasy driven cucks and a bizarre collection of findom factories spewing out some false narrative about slave cuckolding – all of which will make her run in the other direction.

If she is still interested and wants to learn more, it would be wise to try and connect with other couples in your area or online who she can feel comfortable talking to. Friendships between women in this lifestyle are priceless. Do whatever you can to help her form friendships so she can feel like she can ask questions to someone other than you. Trust me she will appreciate this.

Lastly, don’t pressure her. This is what I hear a lot from husbands, that they continue to try all sorts of tactics to “convince” her. I swear if that was me I would be so annoyed. Give her some space and time and opportunities to think about what you’re proposing. It can be a big decision for her so respect that. And remember, it might just not be something she will ever want. You may have to accept that.

Venus xo

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What’s next?

“I had finally found the kind of relationship that was meant for me. Finally! But what really struck me was that I didn’t even know it existed before.”

Venus

It’s been a few years since I sat down to write my first post on this blog, What the fuck is cuckolding? and I have been thinking a lot about what was going through my mind at that time and what was motivating me to write.

Several months earlier I had met a guy on tinder who introduced me to this kind of relationship and it was like a feeling of relief – I had finally found the kind of relationship that was meant for me. Finally! But what really struck me was that I didn’t even know it existed before. I knew I wanted something like that but I had no idea that I could actually have it. It had me wondering how many other women out there don’t know it exists either, and of those, how many like myself would really love it. So that is why I sat down and wrote – to let other women know, hey this might be of interest to you.

Fast forward three years and I’m wondering if I’ve been at all successful with that goal. My biggest reach is through my blog and my Twitter and through stats and polls I’ve learned that 95% to 97% of my readers are men, both single and attached. This is not exactly what I’ve been hoping for.

I’ve come to learn that women just are not online reading about these things and why I don’t know, but they just aren’t here. The men are online consuming the cuckolding jerk off material and a few are genuinely interested in learning about cuckolding relationships. This is why there is so much cuck porn on Twitter and used to be on Tumblr. That’s why when a cuckolding “chat” room opens up, it’s dominated by guys sharing pics of bulls and wives and cuckolding porn while the actual conversation rooms are quiet. This is why women are turned off by it all – the representation of cuckolding online is based in porn fantasy and not reality. Where is the legitimacy to this kind of relationship?

I get it – women and men are very different with what turns them on – and I think at times I’ve been guilty of feeding into the whole visual jerk off material that men want.

So….what do I do next? I’ve written a lot on here over the years and I’ve spoken quite a bit on various podcasts about this kind of relationship, and perhaps that’s as good as it will get. It’s been an effort that I’ve managed to fit in outside of my full time normal job and full time family and life responsibilities. At times it’s been a lot of work and although I love it, I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing. Maybe despite my efforts, cuckolding relationships will remain hidden from women who could possibly love that kind of relationship and perhaps that’s just something I need to accept.

Venus xo

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