Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”

Venus

So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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The reality of cuckolding

“The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story.”

Venus

Before I get into this post about the beautiful complexities of cuckolding, let me start out by saying I have just created a Patreon Page for those of you who appreciate this blog and want to see it continue. Patreon is a way for people to support their favourite creators. It doesn’t cost much and it’s safe and easy to use. I have never set out to monetize this site but I admit it does take a lot of resources to run it as well as I would love to be able to devote more time to promoting this beautiful relationship dynamic to the rest of the world so if you choose to support it I would be very thankful.

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I love cuckolding so much because of how emotional it is on so many levels. It takes a solid relationship built on trust and an emotionally strong cuck to navigate the roller coaster of thoughts and feelings that come along with it. It also takes a woman who understands the difference between love and sex and who takes pride in her own sexuality.

When people think about cuckolding, often they picture a guy watching his wife having sex with someone else. Some might even imagine it involving some humiliation. But there’s so much more to that limited scenario. The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story. It’s the careful consideration of choosing the right heels for the occasion, or a simple comment that teases. To me, those are the most fun.

It’s those things that I wish more people could understand and experience but unfortunately with the shitty online representation of cuckolding everywhere including in mainstream porn, all of this seems to be missing so no wonder people don’t think about those aspects of a cuckolding relationship. Too much cuck fantasy shit out there and not enough reality based conversation about what it’s actually like.

Cuckolding relationships are sexy as fuck, loving, creative, bonding, trusting, and rare. I may not be able to reach women with this blog but at least I can speak to the truth about what cuckolding relationships are all about and that’s something that I think many people could benefit from.

Again, thank you to those of you who choose to support this blog.

Venus xo

5 reasons why women should love cuckolding

“Initially it may be hard to believe but trust grows and flourishes in this kind of dynamic but cuckolding actually makes the trust stronger between both of you especially over time.”

Venus
  1. Next level love

It can be hard to imagine love on a whole other level but believe me when I say this kind of relationship is intoxicating, magical, and intense far beyond what you could ever cultivate in a vanilla relationship.

2. Female sexual empowerment

Many women say cuckolding has increased their confidence level, sexual prowess, and ability to ask for exactly what they want. They feel more confident with their bodies and their sex appeal.

3. Trust

Initially it may be hard to believe but trust grows and flourishes in this kind of dynamic but cuckolding actually makes the trust stronger between both of you especially over time.

4. Excitement

Let’s face it, all vanilla relationships get boring at some point. But with all of the sexual adventures and intimate moments found in this kind of dynamic it’s just not likely to lose the excitement. In fact over time it’s probably going to get even more fun.

5. Your happiness is his happiness

This is pretty much all about you. You are the center of his universe and he will do anything to keep you happy and that makes you love him even more. He has no interest in sex with other women and he just loves focusing entirely on you and your sexual adventures.

Venus xo

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Money is a bitch

“By far the biggest reason cucks don’t trust women like me is because so  many women are out there looking to use guys for their  money.”

Venus

Findommes are a real pain in my ass. No really…the money hungry gold digging bitches lingering around this lifestyle are the main reason why so many  men distrust women and I wish this problem didn’t exist.

Thanks to the internet all of us are searching online for our soulmates in the cuck lifestyle and this can be a tricky and sometimes very shady place. Let’s face it, there are some creeps out there (I’ve met more than my fair share of them) so you have to be careful. There are online profiles which are fake or misleading (soooo many) and some people who lure you into trusting them so that they can extort you or blackmail you. Yeah that’s some fucked up shit!

But by far the biggest reason cucks don’t trust women like me is because so  many women are out there looking to use guys for their  money. Some are upfront about it, claiming to be into financial domination and looking for paypigs (guys who feel submissive by giving money to greedy women), and other women are sneaky bitches about it by lying and manipulating men into giving them money. Women are literally making a living off of these men and they are everywhere online.

It’s no wonder so many guys I talk to don’t want to trust me in the beginning. Many of them have had encounters with these women before and it has left them nervous about future encounters and I can understand that but I wish this wasn’t such a common obstacle because it makes it really hard to get to know someone when the trust isn’t there from day 1 – and we all know how important trust is in this kind of relationship!

For the record I am not one of these gold digging bitches. Yes I do love to be treated well but I want my man to treat me that way because he genuinely wants to and not because I demand it from him. I would take offense to be labelled as a findomme as this is so far from who I actually am and anyone who says it about me simply does not know me at all.

So I’m putting it out there to all of the single cucks: not all of us are after your money. You can trust me on that.

 

Venus xo