[Guest Post] Transition: Moving from a Hotwife to a Cuckold Relationship

For our second guest post, we’re featuring an incredibly hot and informative post from a couple! If you’re interested in writing for the Venus Cuckoldress blog, you can find more information here.

If you are a guy reading this you probably share the idea that the woman you love being fucked by another man is highly arousing. You aren’t alone. Depending on the study you read upwards of 50% of men feel the same. If you are a woman reading this you might be thinking why does my man want me to do this?

We are a happily married couple in our 40’s, busy kids, busy lives, busy careers (physician and psychologist) who delved into this lifestyle 10 years ago and want to share some of our experiences in an effort to help others out there thinking about including cuckolding into their intimacy.

We started with some “light” same room swinging and fairly quickly realized we preferred threesomes with another guy. It felt less complicated at the moment but no less challenging to set up. Hotwifing was our thing for the next couple of years. It wasn’t until we moved into a cuckold dynamic that things really clicked for us. This first blog entry is how that came about and why it works for us.

Some popular media will interchange the terms hotwife and cuckold relationship but they are not one and the same. Some aspects overlap but the differences are important and can help start the communication for couples. More men don’t experience the ecstasy this lifestyle can bring with their partners because they don’t know how to communicate.

Opening the cuckolding door isn’t a simple key, it’s a series of complicated locks and bolts, but one of the first keys is understanding that hotwifing is more about the man and cuckolding is more about the woman. Explain this well to your partner and you have got one lock open.

Watching my wife get fucked, really fucked hard, is erotic for both of us. Being inside of her with another man is amazing for both of us. Communicating with the guy and “giving him permission” so to speak was a turn on for me but not for her. In the hotwife dynamic we found another guy together. We both looked at online profiles together. We’d even always do the first meet and greet together. It was very much about me sharing her with another man.

If most guys are honest they will admit they find it exciting looking for that other guy for their partner to be with. Someone bigger, stronger, more virile. The problem with that though is that she isn’t mine to share like some possession – she is her own individual person with her own desires and needs. I’m also not her – she knows her wants and needs better than me.

In cuckolding she is the one seeking out the guy, building the relationship, communicating what her needs are. For most women building that connection with another person will lead to much better sex than if their partner simply finds someone for them to fuck. She then brings that energy and experience back to the primary relationship. It’s an important difference.

Our transition into cuckolding was enlightening for us. It brought us to a higher plane of intimacy. One of our kids was playing high-level soccer and had a coach in his early 30’s. Tall dark handsome type. He was in a relationship, coaching our kid – ethically off-limits. She had always found herself hugely drawn to him.

It wasn’t until a year later when she bumped into him, now single not coaching, that she asked him for coffee. She initiated what she wanted. She didn’t ask me first. We didn’t go to coffee with the 3 of us. She came home after their spontaneous date and told me that she was going to go out with him again and that she was going to embark on a sexual relationship with him. She wanted to fuck him. She had never been more confident, assertive, and independent. She wasn’t asking my permission. She was telling me what she was going to pursue.

She was still a hotwife but now I was cuckolded. I could feel her abandoning her inhibitions and surrendering to lust. It wasn’t that our primary relationship was suddenly less important. There was space for her to have more. For us to have more. It was fucking hot.

They had intense chemistry and built a really great connection. He was on the dominant side and even though he’d never truly been a “bull” before he figured out the role quickly. They had amazing dirty erotic sex. She tried new things. She even enjoyed the occasional threesome with his roommate.

Their relationship flourished but so did ours. We both had a whole new level of energy. We talked more. We loved more. We fucked more. We enjoyed what came from pushing our comfort zone. I tasted and cleaned up after their fucking. I’ll never forget when she came back home late one night and I was cleaning her up and I said “you taste different tonight” and she said “I bet I do. His roommate is mixed in there too.” That experience wouldn’t happen in hotwifing. She was in control of her body. She had decided to let his roommate fuck her. I loved the cuckolding dynamic. Clearly so did she.

When you sit down with your partner to open up this discussion, understand that this is more about her than you. Explain that you want her to be in control. Tell her you’ve been reading about the difference between being a hotwife and cuckolding. Of course, be honest – you have a huge desire to be part of things – not part of setting up the dating, profiles, etc… but part of the intimacy. She will be calmer if she knows she’s in control. You are doing this to enhance the connection you have with her. Compersion is a real feeling – deriving joy from seeing and feeling someone else’s joy.

Yes, you’d be highly aroused if she came home after fucking another man full of his cum but that even more important than that is her comfort and your primary connection. Don’t rush it. Tell her clearly you value the relationship you have above all else but that you don’t want her to ever feel like she belongs to you. She doesn’t. If she finds someone she wants to experience sexually she doesn’t have to ask your permission. You trust her. If you don’t, this isn’t for your relationship!

You also need to make it clear this is not a two-way street. You aren’t seeking another woman. This is about her, NOT you in control. Start the communication. Listen to Venus together. Open. Honest. Communication.

About the authors

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.

Fuck him

“What happened next is hard to put into words. I want to say I was overcome with the power and control that came with being in that position, but really it was so much more than simply that. Something in me just took over and knew exactly what to do, say, push, and overpower him.”

Venus

Before I get into this post about my new-found love of pegging, let me begin by saying that I’ve just done a short follow up interview for the KinkyCast Podcast for their 5 year anniversary episode. Turns out, the interview I did with them previously was their most listened to episode – yay! Here’s the link to it: https://kinkycast.com/archive/2019-archive/261—five-year-anniversary.html

Lastly in case you missed the link in my previous post, here’s the article I wrote for Simplysxy about what it takes to be a cuckoldress: http://simplysxy.com/articles/2018/12/20/what-it-takes-to-be-a-cuckoldress/

Now onto the really exciting news about pegging…

For so long I had zero interest in pegging guys and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out exactly why. I think in a way I thought there wouldn’t really be anything in it for me and I’m so selfish sexually that the thought of it being his sexual experience and not mine…well it turned me the fuck off. So for ages I wanted nothing to do with it.

Then last summer I went out with a young cuck friend. We went for dinner and then to watch a football game (holy fuck the players are hotness) and after a few drinks we went back to his apartment. I had him locked in chastity as usual and he showed me the harness and attachment that he had just bought. Maybe it was the drinks mixed with curiosity, I don’t know, but I ended up trying it on and telling him I wanted to fuck his ass.

What happened next is hard to put into words. I want to say I was overcome with the power and control that came with being in that position, but really it was so much more than simply that. Something in me just took over and knew exactly what to do, say, push, and overpower him. I was at times gentle and sweet and other times strong and unforgiving, and the whole thing was incredible. It was a rush I had never had before – ever!

The next day I was just in amazement of how much I actually loved pegging. I wondered though, was it the alcohol? Was is the hot black football players I watched at the game that night that made me so excited? I wasn’t sure but I did know that I wanted to do it again.

Fast forward a couple months and I had a harness of my own (thanks to a friend of mine) and a small list of two more young white cuck friends who wanted me to pop their virgin ass cherry. I must admit I was a little nervous planning the second time around. This time I was totally sober and had everything planned beforehand so I wondered if I would love it the way I did the first time. Well well well….let me tell you… it was even better!!

So it’s official now I totally have a new-found love of pegging, and I’m really glad that I ended up going for it. For all of the women out there who are feeling like they hate the idea, take it from me, it’s really worth giving it a try!

Venus xo

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The power of a bull

“I also think that similarly women in this lifestyle are either born to be a cuckoldress or not and men are either born wired to be a cuck or not. Personally I don’t think it’s something that you can just try on. For me I knew I wanted this even before I knew it was even a possibility.  I can understand how that would be true for a bull as well.”

Venus

Over the years I’ve come to really appreciate a bull who understands what it is to really be a true bull – someone who respects all of the roles within this kind of relationship dynamic and really loves the power that comes with it. There are lots of guys out there who are willing to take on the role of a bull to get some pussy but few who really adopt that role as a part of who they are. I love a bull who knows how to say and do the right things to both me and to a cuck and not just in the bedroom. That shit turns me on like crazy!

Recently came across a new bull (who was recommended to me by a woman I met) and he gave me some insight into to his thoughts about this. The following is what he had to say.    – Venus xo

“I’m a 28 year old bull who has been in the lifestyle for about 7 years but I have indeed been a bull for 28 years. It was the lifestyle that labelled my natural dominance, sexually and otherwise. My point is, just because you’re a black man or have a black dick, does not make you a bull – it’s a mindset, an unspoken confidence, or a swag if you will.  In my opinion it’s something you’re born with and if not and you try to pose, people will see right through you. 

Cucks take notice: I will be dominant with you. I will be firm with you. You will know the pecking order. And that’s okay. It’s who you are to be naturally submissive. Embrace it. And after you bust the nut just know I don’t and won’t stop being a dominant bull. It’s who I am, and I embrace it. 

So many cucks use black men and white women as jack off material – stop! You are not serious about the lifestyle and above that it’s offensive. A real bull will never just settle for being jack off material. A real bull has a need to exert his dominance toward the cuck outside of sex.”

I really love what he says about it being something that you’re born with. I also think that similarly women in this lifestyle are either born to be a cuckoldress or not and men are either born wired to be a cuck or not. Personally I don’t think it’s something that you can just try on. For me I knew I wanted this even before I knew it was even a possibility.  I can understand how that would be true for a bull as well.

True bulls are hard to come by and I imagine nearly all of the cuckoldresses have a little black book with a list of their favourite bulls – I know I do!

Venus xo

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