Too often, our conversations around sex, for women and men, is about “cumming”, how many times and how intense. For many men, masturbation early in life was a sprint to the finish before they get caught. Edging is a way to extend the fun for all.
Lost in all of the size matters discussions is the concept of stamina. Stamina can mean many things, but in most cases, it means the time a man can sustain an erection before needing a break. Typically that break comes after ejaculation or orgasm. Some men are blessed with the superpower (usually when young) to maintain an erection post-orgasm. Still, for most, the orgasm signals the end of the fun.
Some men can slow build-up from foreplay to stimulation via sex and maintain a flow for significant periods to allow their partner to experience her pleasure, orgasm, and perhaps multiple orgasms before allowing himself to orgasm himself.
Why it Matters
Most women love a guy who can play with dynamics of varying intensities. For many, The best sex starts slow to get into the moment and rhythm. When she’s ready, the hard fucking will send her into orgasm. After her climax, her lover backs off, allowing her to catch her breath on the comedown before starting to build that intensity again. Those rolling waves of passion and dynamism, extended over time, tend to be a woman’s most memorable experiences.
Other men, no matter how hard they try, can only last a few minutes being directly stimulated before they crash over the edge. Some are the tortoise, and some are the hare. Couples are increasingly solving this challenge with chastity, which is a valid but not the only option.
For the highly motivated but not genetically blessed, some men look to find ways to prolong the duration of pleasure through edging.
What is Edging?
For the uninitiated, edging is essentially a method of prolonging sexual pleasure by managing the stimulation, approaching orgasm, then taking the foot off the pedal just before orgasm. Think of the intensity of paddling down a river in a canoe towards a waterfall or set of rapids. The moment of anticipation just before you hit the first drop. The waterfall is the orgasm, its intensity can be indescribable, but the moment just before is special in its own way. Edging is trying to extend that pre-orgasmic state of pleasure where everything is intense but not crashing to a conclusion until you are sure no one in the room has anything left to give.
Cuckolding porn is available with a simple mouse click. You can find thousands of videos of varying lengths from 30 seconds to an hour to watch on the internet. But as easy as cuckolding porn is to find, it’s even easier to turn off when you cum. When masturbating alone, a cuck can watch only the most intense clips, cum in 2 mins, and get back to his day.
Real-world cuckolding is not nearly as disposable. When sharing your partner with another man, the timeline of when it is over is up to him. They will find their groove, build their dynamics, hit their climax, and perhaps slow down, catch their breath and build up again. You are strapped in another person’s boat, and you don’t get out of the water when you decide to go over the waterfall. You are along for the ride with them.
So if you are conditioned to race to your orgasm as quickly as possible, you could be in for a long awkward time sitting around with a flaccid dick watching your partner continue to get her brains fucked out. What seemed super hot and sexy before you bust a nut might not seem nearly as interesting after. So prolonging and delaying your orgasm to time it with your partner is super important.
How to Edge
There is no magical secret to stamina or edging. Edging requires learning your own body’s signals, what your brain is doing, and truly being present in your body. A major challenge for premature ejaculators is being disconnected from their body, too much in their mind or visual stimulation. If you aren’t blessed with natural stamina and most men aren’t, then a lot of practice is required.
Step 1: Sensual versus goal-oriented masturbation
Shift the mindset from masturbating for release to a mindset of embracing the sensations. Tell yourself it’s ok if you don’t even orgasm from this session alone; just feel your pleasure.
Step 2: Remove the shame
Masturbation feels good, just like sex. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you take time to practice self-care. Think of it as going for a massage, or a good hot shower, or a great meal. Embrace your self-pleasure without obsessing about your orgasm.
Step 3: Track your pleasure
As stated above, pleasure is a wave, build-up, climax, come down. The only way to extend that wave is to track it. Think of your pleasure on a scale. 1 is not thinking about sex at all; 100 is the most intense orgasm of your life. Where on that scale do you normally lose control and orgasm? By paying close attention to your sensations, you will be able to shift the pleasure not just for a longer duration but higher before crashing. Don’t let yourself get close until you absolutely can no longer stand it. Then look at how long you held out. Try to make that duration improve over time.
Step 4: Forgive yourself – Just as it must be ok to lose when compared to her lovers, it has to be ok to fail when trying to delay orgasm. You are looking for an incremental improvement over a long period. The more you gain control over your own sensations, the better prepared you will be to be present while she’s experiencing pleasure. Your long-term goal should be a release with their final climax so that the entire room is filled with simultaneous orgasmic intensity right at the end.