What makes a great bull

What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.

I was talking to a bull who I connected with recently about something that really got me thinking and inspired me to write. What is it that sets apart the good bulls from the really great bulls in this lifestyle?

People ask me all the time what I look for in a bull and I guess for the single cucks it’s just out of curiosity but for the couples I think there’s always this unending search to find a stable of the really great bulls and that’s not an easy task. The really great ones are few and far between.

For me I have a few things that are mandatory on the list like he has to be black (American black guys are my favourite), 9+inches and thick, and fuck like a champion, but what really makes the difference is the sexual chemistry and one more very important factor….I need to love his mind. I’m not alone in wanting that last one on the list. I’ve heard this from many cuckoldresses as well. What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle (all of it not just the cuckoldress part) and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.

Sure sometimes I fuck a few new guys but the ones I keep around are the bulls who I consider to be my friends. I can talk to them about regular everyday things just as easily as getting into the most filthy of conversations about them blackfucking my pretty pussy or about me wanting their big black dick to slide down my throat, making my mascara run down. We can go months without seeing each other and there never be pressure or guilt about it, they know about each other and never have jealousy or possessiveness (actually they love it when I share pics and videos with them), and of course they love and respect how much I want and need cuckolding and BBC in my life.

There’s so much more to it than just physical attributes and liking to fuck and this is why I wish more women in this lifestyle would connect so that we can share our little black book of favourite bulls and therefore help celebrate the value of the really great bulls – they are priceless.

Venus xo

10 lessons learned from a cuckoldress


Expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.

Venus

I’m such a huge fan of Dan Savage and his column ‘Savage Love’ and I’ve said many times that it’s because of his column that I’m who I am today so when I heard he was going to do a live show in Vancouver last weekend I gathered up my girlfriends for a fun night out.

He was taking questions from the audience and I and was lucky enough to have him answer one of mine “What advice would you give a single cuckoldress looking for a single cuck for a long term relationship?” His answer was totally on point and I realized, hey I already know all of that! It got me thinking…I really have learned a lot over the past 4 years in this lifestyle and if only back then I knew what I know now. Shit.

So here I am reflecting on all of the lessons I’ve learned and I’m sharing them so that other women might be able to learn from my experiences.

  1. A cuckolding relationship between two people who love each other in a committed long term relationship is mind-blowing, incredible, unique, complex and truly addictive. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s impossible to go back to any other kind of relationship. Expect to be hooked. This can be a blessing and a curse because it’s very hard to find.
  2. There are some really great people to meet in this lifestyle and from all over the world. New friends await and they are absolute gems.
  3. As a woman in this lifestyle, expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.
  4. Finding a good bull is not that easy. Finding guys to fuck is fucking whatever – they are everywhere – but finding a guy who you have that sexual chemistry with and who really appreciates and understands the role of a bull….that’s uncommon. Take your time and get recommendations from other women in the lifestyle. Sharing is caring.
  5. Be careful. There are crazy people out there – stalkers galore – so use caution and common sense when dealing with people you don’t know.
  6. Long distance relationships are difficult but probably inevitable if you’re trying to find someone to date. You’re going to have to look in other cities and consider relocating or finding someone to relocate to you. Be honest right in the beginning about what you’re looking for. It will save you from wasting time on the wrong person.
  7. Dating in this lifestyle is fucking brutal for both women and men. Expect to wade through the sea of shit that is online dating including the money hungry gold-digger women and the guys who just want to jerk off and flake out to the idea of you. Be prepared to be lied to – a lot – but try not to get pessimistic about it. Just get smarter about weeding out the idiots. They all seem to give off the same subtle hints when they are full of shit, you just get better at spotting them.
  8. Cuck fear is real and it will fuck things up. The shame/fear that some guys feel will make them flake out no matter how interested they seem or how badly they want this kind of relationship. Some would rather be alone in the cuck closet forever than face their fear and live the life that makes them feel fulfilled and true to themselves. Be prepared to be let down when you least expect it. It happens. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.
  9. There are three types of “single”guys in this lifestyle: married guys pretending to be single, single guys who just use it to consume porn and fantasies for jerk off material but who have no real intention of finding a relationship, and single guys who are genuinely looking for a cuckoldress to share their life with and who care about the lifestyle. Find out which one you’re dealing with.
  10. Don’t give up. Trust me it can be hard and I’ve given up many times but always came back to it because it’s who you are, what makes you happy, and what is meant for you. Take a break if you have to. Even if your heart hurts and you’re tired, lean on your friends and keep going. Beautiful things await. Don’t give up.

P.S. Black guys fuck better. Just saying.

P.P.S. Check out my latest podcast interview with the Casual Swingers Podcast: Cuck you! Exploring the world of cuckolds & hotwives with Cuckoldress Venus

Venus xo

The culture of men

For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine.

This post is written by my friend @UsefulBetaCuck on Twitter. It’s thought provoking, reflective, controversial, and in my opinion right on point.

Venus xo


In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us.

@UsefulBetaCuck

For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine. It’ll also cross the spectrum of their sexual identity; be they dominant, submissive, a bull, a cuck, whatever, the problem is universal.

If I could change one thing it would be the culture of men in general. A good portion of my thinking exists in the “old world” and those old souls among us feel like voices crying in the wilderness. Just leaving cuckolding aside for a minute, I value what I’ve made of myself as a man. If you met me, at least superficially, you would never guess that you were talking to a sexual submissive. I’m hard working, articulate, well read, well kept, in shape, active and even “alpha” in my community and work life.

But then I look around and what I see is little boys walking in grown men’s bodies. (And it’s not just the younger generation, millennials are simply products of their environment. So enough about millennials being the problem.) It’s really a problem of my generation and the one before me. It’s like they lost any semblance of reality. First sign of pain and they quit. First sign a woman is her own autonomous being and will not take their shit and they abandon. And I’m talking in the real world, online it’s simply set in overdrive.

In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us. For women it should be obvious, the price they’ve paid is the loss of their men. (If you want to test this, take away your man’s smart phone and see how he behaves. Does he suck it up or does he throw a tantrum?) And how do you box and sell manhood? You don’t. It’s the social mores of real masculinity in the culture that we’ve lost. The pessimistic side of me says we’ll never get it back, at least not with the current stock of men raising the next generation.

Now combine all this with a submissive male that’s addicted to porn and to jerking off and sees nothing more in a real life woman than another tool to achieve his next orgasm. It’s likely as high as 95% of all so-called cucks online who fall into this category. They want you to be a means to an end and not the end itself. This is where the problem and solution lies.

Women, there’s little chance your men will do this on their own but you have to require, to demand nothing less than your man actually be a man. No matter who he is, if he loves you he’ll know you are not just some insignificant object through which he vicariously gets off. This is one reason considering being a cuckoldress is such an empowering option. You make the rules, you set boundaries and you will be respected by a partner who’s not just a cuck, but a man.

The challenge of cuckold consistency

How do you finally “break” a cuck husband for good? Get him to fully commit, all in? I go back and forth in cuckolding with mine. I’ll have him very submissive for long periods on time but occasionally he kind of revolts and rebels and we have to work back into a “sub” place.— the716hotwife (@the716Hotwife) January 5, 2019

This was the post I read on Twitter that really caught my attention. I love these honest and real relationship questions being addressed in this lifestyle so I invited her to write more about that comment here on my blog. The following is what she had to say:

Venus xo

To start with a bit of background, my husband and I have been married 17 years and started exploring “open” dynamics about 4 years ago. After exploring a few different dynamics, we found that cuckolding is the most comfortable , appropriate and natural dynamic between us. It’s so obvious to see and feel that our relationship is best harmonized when I am confidently in my place as Dominant Cuckoldress and he is in his place as my submissive cuckold bitch. In this mode, everything feels in sync. We are both more content and less stressed. We are both kinder and more patient parents to our young children. We are both more productive in life and work. And of course, we are both getting our natural sexual needs fulfilled. Me enjoying intense and dirty nights with my Bull and him indulging in his filthy and degrading submissive desires.

But, unfortunately, these times of synchronicity don’t last. The chaos of life with children is relentless and the demands of work always press on and in this whirlwind of life we both drift and from our natural roles of Cuckoldress and cuck and slip into that dark, dreary and humdrum cliché of American married life. Pretty much unconnected and asexual. A place neither of wants to be but for which we both take responsibility.

It seems the more intense of our period of cuckolding, the more we withdraw from each other when it breaks. Like a boxing match where after the round we retreat to our separate corners to recuperate – me taking a deep breath and my husband taking stock in his masculinity.

My goal is to commit to this lifestyle all-in and 100%. I feel confident and secure in the fact that my cuck is my absolute and rightful property and that my sexuality is all mine to exploit and enjoy. It’s so clear to us that this is all natural and beautiful. But maintaining consistency is our challenge.

How do we go from “on and off” to “forever and always?” From enticing to absolution? How do we take this to the next level? Is it merely all about me being more strict and severe with chastity, discipline, and humiliation? Or is there something else we’re missing?

I’d like to hear about how couples have made this transition from dabbling with cuckolding to committing to cuckolding.

@the716Hotwife

Twitter: https://twitter.com/the716Hotwife 

Tumblr: http://the716hotwife.tumblr.com 

Fuck me

I’m going to see someone soon….someone who drives me fucking wild. I have no other way of saying it – he turns me on so much I almost lose my mind.

He’s a professional athlete so I fly out every so often to wherever he is playing. It’s not often enough though.  I would have him a lot more if I could but my busy life doesn’t always let me get away when I want to. FML.

We have some unique chemistry. He knows me so well. In fact it was shortly after we first met that I got my first Queen of  Spades tattoo (now I have three). He has the perfect balance of respecting me but still pushes my boundaries in a way that makes me feel comfortable with it. That kind of trust is not easy to find. I definitely want him to be one of the 5 on my wedding night.

He’s tall, hot as fuck, beautiful inside and out, and he fucks me like a champion every single time, but most of all it’s the way he talks to me. He has this deep voice and he has that smooth confidence and style that makes me wet with just a few words. And even when we’re just texting I get so caught up in it all that I find myself closing my eyes, tilting my head back and just completely getting lost in it all.  The things we talk about….so hot and so dirty….oh god….okay this is all very distracting now. Concentrate!

He sends me pics of him and I literally can’t handle how hot they make me. His big black dick gives me this deep overwhelming feeling that just takes over my whole body. I can’t think straight. I just stare. Mesmerized. What was I talking about again? Mmmmm.

When we see each other it’s….well you can imagine the heat.  On the way back from the airport he bent me over the back of his car in the parking lot. We just couldn’t wait to get inside his apartment. He lays me back, slides that big dick down my throat as my eyes water,my mascara runs, and I take it. I take it all. And I love it.

So now I count down the days until our next encounter. This time I’m bringing my girlfriend. I’ve shared him with her before and that was one of the best nights of my life so I’m excited to make some more memories like that.

Now what to wear….I need some new lingerie….some new sexy heels. Time to get a pedicure, my nails and hair done, my body waxed… It’s almost go time.

Venus xo

Cuck etiquette

For all of you single cucks out there – this post is for you.

Here are a few little tips and wise words of advice for you to learn how to approach me and how to behave around me. I say ‘me’ because I have no idea what other single cuckoldresses want or prefer so for now, this really is just about me. Of course this is a continuation to my expectations in How to catch a Goddess so definitely take notes on that one too.

  1. I need to be attracted to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so please at least attach a photo or description of yourself when you introduce yourself. I also need to know a little about you and not just that you’re into cuckolding – you know…normal stuff you’d want someone to know about you.
  2. If for whatever reason I decide to politely tell you I’m not interested in you (or I’ve repeatedly ignored you) please do not respond with a multitude of questions asking me why and get offended or start arguing with me. This is just going to piss me off.
  3. I’m not your jerk-off material. Do not get so whipped up into a frenzy with all of the cuckolding chat that you forget about the relationship part. This happens all too often. Do not ask me for pictures and videos. I used to share them but I have since learned that it’s not helpful to try to build relationships when guys just depend on me for it every day.
  4. Don’t make bullshit promises. Do not tell me that you’re willing to move to Canada if you haven’t even looked into the process. It’s not easy at all and you should know that already.
  5. Don’t start off by asking if you can watch me fuck a black guy or if you can do clean up afterwards. Really I can’t believe how many guys say this to me right off the bat. If that’s one of the first things you say to me then I will tell you to fuck off. It’s an actual relationship I’m after, not just fulfilling some sort of cuckold fantasy.
  6. Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such  a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.
  7. Telling me that you want to buy me lingerie so that I can wear it for black guys is not going to get me excited. While I appreciate the offer (and I have received a shit load of offers), this is not so much a gift for me as it is a gift for yourself so you can jerk off to the thought of it. How about you find out what it is that I truly need or want and do it just because you want to make me happy?
  8. DO NOT SEND ME YOUR UGLY WHITE DICK PICS – fucking gross. I shouldn’t even need to say this.
  9. Just be yourself. You don’t need to lie about your situation or your identity. This kind of relationship is hugely built on trust and lying to me, even about something small, right in the beginning is not going to sit well with me. If you’re worried about discretion that’s fine, I understand that, but you need to trust me for me to trust you. If you’re married or in a relationship then tell me – don’t make up bullshit stories.
  10. Be prepared to do your homework, talk on the phone, and meet in person. I’m not interested in pen pals or endless texting so if it seems like things are not moving forward then I’m not going to continue chatting forever.  Also, I’ve made a point of trying to list my answers to a lot of your questions here on my blog so that I don’t have to spend hours and hours answering them over and over individually so please do your homework and read up before asking me. In my post Everything else you’ve wanted to know I’ve answered the following questions:

What do your friends think about you being a cuckoldress?
What kinds of things do you make your cuck do?
What is it about cuckolding that makes you like it?
How did you get into cuckolding?
How public do you want your lifestyle?
Do you want to marry your cuck?
Do you want your cuck to participate sexually with you and your bull?
Are you into forced bi or ass play for your cuck?
What was the reaction of the tattoo artist when you got your queen of spades tattoo?
How long ago did you get into black guys?
Why not just date a black guy if that’s what you like so much?
Do you like BBC bareback and do you want to get pregnant?
Is there such a thing as too big?

Venus xo

Wedding night BBC gangbang

What I want for my wedding night BBC gangbang – in detail.

My biggest fantasy: having my first gangbang on my wedding night. I’m determined to make it happen and any cuck who dates me has to understand that this is not negotiable.  I’ve brought this up before on my blog post ’17 ways to cuck your man’ and mentioned it in my interview for kinkycast.com but today I want to let loose and really dive head first right into what exactly I want for this special occasion.

I want to get married on a white sand beach somewhere overlooking crystal clear waters. 5 of my favourite black guys will get a special invitation to the event (I’ve already picked out some of them and told them they can one day expect the invite). They will  watch us take our vows and maybe even slip into a few of the photos with the bride and groom. After the ceremony they join us in our honeymoon suite and that’s when all the magic happens…

I see myself on my knees, my ring sparkling on my finger, my hair perfectly styled and my makeup on point, and my pretty white dress contrasting sharply with the smooth beautiful black skin surrounding me. The photographer in the background making sure every incredible moment is expertly documented for me. I will look over at my husband  and ask him to come over to me. I want a comparison photo of his unfortunate white dick next to a huge black cock – god I love those photos!

Then hubby goes back to sitting in the corner to watch. My black guys move towards me and take me – they take what they want and they don’t have to ask. My mascara runs down my cheeks, my blonde hair falls out of place, my dress eventually ends up in a messy pile on the floor. I take all of that big black cock like I’m made for it – because I am. The photographer captures all of it. I look over at my husband sitting there, watching me, loving it. I smile at him and say “I love you baby”. I am in heaven and he is right there with me.

This is undoubtedly going to be the best day of my life and I will want a repeat every anniversary after that!

Venus xo

The natural progression of a cuckoldress

Do women naturally become more cruel and selfish and men more submissive and eager to please?

Recently I read my very first blog post ‘what the fuck is cuckolding’ which I wrote almost 2  years ago and what stood out for me was where I spoke about humiliation. At that time, while starting out my adventures in cuckolding, I felt interested in the humiliation aspect of cuckolding but only as long as I didn’t feel overtly cruel about it. I also wasn’t interested in male chastity at the time. I basically understood nothing about what its purpose was.

Fast forward two years and I’ve evolved into a cuckoldress who loves dishing out humiliation and is addicted to keyholding. I’ve become more self centered, less patient, and more demanding with what I want. This seemingly effortless transition got me wondering….is this a common natural progression for all cuckoldresses?

Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time. I should mention that I haven’t really done much research at all about cuckolding. I haven’t read any other blogs or talked with other cuckoldresses so I basically have only my own experiences to go by and that leaves me wondering about what it’s like for other women like me.

I think that for women who were born for this kind of relationship, they enjoy the attention, sexual superiority and empowerment that this lifestyle gives them. It gives her permission to set the bar high and insist that he exceed it for her. And for men who are hardwired to be a cuck, the trust and commitment in this kind of relationship allows them to feel safe to submit to her and to want to live their own sex life strictly through hers. It’s a beautiful gift and the key to all of this working is of course love and trust.

So what do you think? Is there any truth in this? I welcome your comments.

 

Venus xo