What’s a bull?

For those of you who are just learning about what cuckolding relationships are all about, no doubt at some point you’re going to wonder what a bull is. Why is it called that? What physical and sexual characteristics does a bull usually have and why is it so important (and difficult) to find the right one?

Join me in this podcast episode as I delve into the unique role of the bull within cuckolding relationships and try to explain how mind blowing the experiences can be for you all when you find the bull you really want and need. Also learn about the red flags of bad bull behaviour and the green flags you should look out for with the good ones.

Enjoy!

Venus xo

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The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast

Introducing The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast! Thank you to all of my friends who have encouraged me to create my own podcast about the beautiful world of cuckolding and now here it is!

Enjoy and share the fuck out of it!

Venus xo

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Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”

Venus

So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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The most obvious answer

“I need love, adoration, connection, and emotional intimacy from my cuck and I also need big black dick to fuck me deep on the regular.”

Venus xo

Recently I asked some people if they had any questions for me related to cuckolding relationships and although I received many great questions, one stood out from them all only because I’m so puzzled as to why people keep asking it; the answer seems so obvious to me.

Why don’t you just date a black guy if you like them so much?

Ugh. This one annoys the fuck out of me.

I get it, it seems like a valid question right? I mean yes I do love fucking black guys…REALLY love fucking them. So much that I mean why wouldn’t I want that for the rest of my life right?

Sure if that was all I needed to feel fulfilled in life then fuck yes I would pursue that. But have I been writing about anything else the past 4 years? Anything??? Maybe CUCKOLDING??

Listen, I will say this one loud for the people in the back…. I love BBC, I love cuckolding relationships, and I need BOTH of them to feel happy and fulfilled in my life and I’m willing to bet that means getting what I need from one cuck and at least a hand full of black guys.

I need love, adoration, connection, and emotional intimacy from my cuck and I also need big black dick to fuck me deep on the regular. It’s not difficult to understand. That’s just the way I am wired. This lifestyle, this kind of relationship is what I’m made for. It’s part of me, part of who I am, and what makes me feel comfortable. I can be who I really am. Love me for the slut that I am and give me the freedom to fuck and I will in turn give you my heart for the rest of our lives.

It seems pretty simple to me.

Venus xo

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The reality of cuckolding

“The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story.”

Venus

Before I get into this post about the beautiful complexities of cuckolding, let me start out by saying I have just created a Patreon Page for those of you who appreciate this blog and want to see it continue. Patreon is a way for people to support their favourite creators. It doesn’t cost much and it’s safe and easy to use. I have never set out to monetize this site but I admit it does take a lot of resources to run it as well as I would love to be able to devote more time to promoting this beautiful relationship dynamic to the rest of the world so if you choose to support it I would be very thankful.

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I love cuckolding so much because of how emotional it is on so many levels. It takes a solid relationship built on trust and an emotionally strong cuck to navigate the roller coaster of thoughts and feelings that come along with it. It also takes a woman who understands the difference between love and sex and who takes pride in her own sexuality.

When people think about cuckolding, often they picture a guy watching his wife having sex with someone else. Some might even imagine it involving some humiliation. But there’s so much more to that limited scenario. The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story. It’s the careful consideration of choosing the right heels for the occasion, or a simple comment that teases. To me, those are the most fun.

It’s those things that I wish more people could understand and experience but unfortunately with the shitty online representation of cuckolding everywhere including in mainstream porn, all of this seems to be missing so no wonder people don’t think about those aspects of a cuckolding relationship. Too much cuck fantasy shit out there and not enough reality based conversation about what it’s actually like.

Cuckolding relationships are sexy as fuck, loving, creative, bonding, trusting, and rare. I may not be able to reach women with this blog but at least I can speak to the truth about what cuckolding relationships are all about and that’s something that I think many people could benefit from.

Again, thank you to those of you who choose to support this blog.

Venus xo

Cuckolding – get it right

“Yes cuckolding is a broad spectrum with different aspects intertwined however from one end to the next, the foundation of it all is a real relationship between two people in love and that’s what makes it so special – even magical.”

Venus

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how cuckolding is portrayed online and the widespread misunderstandings about it so I’ve been giving some thought to what I feel is the most accurate definition of cuckolding and also of what I believe cuckolding definitely is not.

First of all, I realize this may be controversial to some but I believe cuckolding does not belong in a fetish list, BDSM page, or kink collection. Cuckolding is an actual relationship. Let me explain…

Cuckolding is a loving, long term, and committed relationship. It’s a consensual one-sided non monogamous relationship where both people give each other everything they need to feel fulfilled and trusted. It’s a beautiful relationship dynamic that is emotional, thrilling, and so wonderfully intense. It only works when it’s an real relationship – otherwise it is meaningless.

Having said all of that, this is what cuckolding is not: cuckolding is not some random guy asking a random woman if he can watch her fuck another guy. Cuckolding is not findoms who demand financial slavery from submissive men or use or abuse them to manipulate them – consensual or not, this is NOT cuckolding. Cuckolding is also not meeting up with a femdom ‘mistress’ for a night so the two of you can play out a cuckolding fantasy together.

Unfortunately the real meaning of cuckolding has been heavily distorted by the inaccurate portrayal in mainstream porn coupled with the femdom/findom women using the cuckoldress label for their own profit, and that’s really sad because that’s not what it’s about at all. I feel bad for the people who are just beginning to learn about cuckolding and are bombarded with these false narratives and it’s no wonder so many women are turned off by cuckolding when they happen to go online to try to learn about it.

Yes cuckolding is a broad spectrum with different aspects intertwined however from one end to the next, the foundation of it all is a real relationship between two people in love and that’s what makes it so special – even magical. So let’s get it straight: that’s the part that we all should celebrate , educate, and promote.

Venus xo

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What’s next?

“I had finally found the kind of relationship that was meant for me. Finally! But what really struck me was that I didn’t even know it existed before.”

Venus

It’s been a few years since I sat down to write my first post on this blog, What the fuck is cuckolding? and I have been thinking a lot about what was going through my mind at that time and what was motivating me to write.

Several months earlier I had met a guy on tinder who introduced me to this kind of relationship and it was like a feeling of relief – I had finally found the kind of relationship that was meant for me. Finally! But what really struck me was that I didn’t even know it existed before. I knew I wanted something like that but I had no idea that I could actually have it. It had me wondering how many other women out there don’t know it exists either, and of those, how many like myself would really love it. So that is why I sat down and wrote – to let other women know, hey this might be of interest to you.

Fast forward three years and I’m wondering if I’ve been at all successful with that goal. My biggest reach is through my blog and my Twitter and through stats and polls I’ve learned that 95% to 97% of my readers are men, both single and attached. This is not exactly what I’ve been hoping for.

I’ve come to learn that women just are not online reading about these things and why I don’t know, but they just aren’t here. The men are online consuming the cuckolding jerk off material and a few are genuinely interested in learning about cuckolding relationships. This is why there is so much cuck porn on Twitter and used to be on Tumblr. That’s why when a cuckolding “chat” room opens up, it’s dominated by guys sharing pics of bulls and wives and cuckolding porn while the actual conversation rooms are quiet. This is why women are turned off by it all – the representation of cuckolding online is based in porn fantasy and not reality. Where is the legitimacy to this kind of relationship?

I get it – women and men are very different with what turns them on – and I think at times I’ve been guilty of feeding into the whole visual jerk off material that men want.

So….what do I do next? I’ve written a lot on here over the years and I’ve spoken quite a bit on various podcasts about this kind of relationship, and perhaps that’s as good as it will get. It’s been an effort that I’ve managed to fit in outside of my full time normal job and full time family and life responsibilities. At times it’s been a lot of work and although I love it, I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing. Maybe despite my efforts, cuckolding relationships will remain hidden from women who could possibly love that kind of relationship and perhaps that’s just something I need to accept.

Venus xo

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Humiliation

” The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually?”

@RealCuckolding

This beautiful post is written by my friend @RealCuckolding on Twitter and it’s a subject that I feel many women struggle with so share this one with all of the women in your life – it’s that important! – Venus xo

This isn’t the blog entry I promised to write, but it’s the issue most on my mind lately. Partly, that is because it’s important and yet it’s something I sometimes let slide because I can be selfish. It’s important to remind ourselves what matters. We are incredibly lucky. My cuck and I live exactly the life we want. We have beautiful children, rewarding professions, are madly in love, and are living exactly the sexual lifestyle we prefer. I am a cuckoldress, free to fuck, date, and pursue whomever I chose, and he worships me for that freedom. He desires it for me and I lap it up with abandon. As content as we are, we endeavor to grow in our chosen sexual lifestyle. We began non-consensual non-monogamy, after all, to explore our desires together. We’ve been swingers, we dabbled in hotwifing, and now, 20 years into a happy marriage, have found ourselves here: cuckoldress and cuckold, still learning, still growing.

I say all of this to start because the place we still feel we have the most room to grow is when it comes to cuckolding is humiliation. I’ll admit that this was, and still is, the hardest part of the lifestyle to realize for my partner. This is partially because for most of our lives we are taught to coddle the male ego. They are virile, strong, masculine. Their cocks satisfy us deeply. We lie and say we only have eyes for our man and other drivel that demeans the honesty of our loving relationships. It was also difficult because I love my husband and telling him that his penis is sad, or that it’s been years since I’ve even remotely thought of it as satisfying, seems like it’s hurtful (though I think all those things regularly, more on that later). It’s also hard because we are wired differently. While I’m a highly sexual person, it’s not always at the forefront of my mind. We all live at the intersections of our lives, mother, wife, co-worker, sister, daughter, coach, friend – for each of us that list is different, but it’s there and it means we are never JUST a cuckoldress – even if that is a huge part of who we are.

I know from conversations with other cuckoldresses that humiliation can be a struggle. And as I said above, I sometimes share that struggle. It’s important that we understand, cucks too, that this is a legitimate emotional hurdle for most women. Especially true for those of us that don’t identify as a domme. But, I’ve learned my struggles are rooted in the guilt engrained in managing fragile masculinity. Ironic, because I have ZERO guilt about being the slut I am, yet guilt can linger when I am trying to honestly express feelings that are both true and arousing to my cuck. What I now realize, the magic element, the one that truly unlocks all of sexuality, and indeed my best cuckoldress, is consent. To say it directly: the humiliation my cuck desires is consensual. He wants it. He needs it. And what’s more, he needs it from me – his friend, partner, lover. Consent is about trust, and that is the root of cuckolding.

Humiliation for my cuck invests in me the trust to be a truly open, loving, and free partner. Conversely, it tells him that he is free to accept his desire to be a cuck and embrace all that it has to offer him.

My cuck is trusting me with the freedom to enjoy the full breadth of my sexuality. He trusts me to explore my attractions to other men without guilt or hesitation. It also allows me to share my most honest feelings about our relationship. I don’t have to pretend I am satisfied by him sexually, which allows us to grow and explore forms of intimacy that are ultimately more honest and fulfilling. Especially when I know they are feelings that excite him, there is never need lie to ourselves. It’s an incredible freedom to tell him, in a loving way, that he will never be my primary sexual partner ever again. It’s a fact. We are stronger for sharing it.

The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually? I’m afforded the same freedom in my life, even if the cocktail of emotions I feel are completely different. Anyone who has ever feared sharing a fantasy with a partner knows the power it gives someone over you. A glimpse into the hidden and dark corners of what makes you, you. It’s scary, sure, but when you are accepted and heard, it’s thrilling, and it completes you. The bond with that person is stronger for the sharing. It was when I realized that he needs to feel those emotions and loves me for them that it clicked: humiliation isn’t what’s hurtful – denying my cuck the same freedom to enjoy what he enjoys is.

In our cuckold marriage humiliation both is and is becoming a mutual and loving part of our lives. It doesn’t happen all at once. What a cuckoldress and a cuck get from this lifestyle are different, but they are mutually reinforcing. I’m not writing about how to humiliate your cuck. There are plenty of other blogs with amazing ideas for accomplishing that. What I’m hoping to convey is that the resistance to humiliate is a normal reservation that most of us have, or have had. You aren’t doing it wrong if you struggle. You aren’t a bad partner. If you’re listening, growing together, exploring, failing, trying again, learning something new – we call that being in a relationship.

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New York City

“For me, New York has always been a bucket list city for me. I’ve felt drawn to it for some reason so to be there for New Year’s Eve surrounded by people I care about meant the world to me.”

Venus

I just got back from a week in New York City. It was amazing – my first time there – and I totally fell in love with that city! The beautiful architecture and the way the buildings contrast each other and fit together like pieces of a puzzle, the energy of the city with the traffic, the people, and the nighlife, and the food – yummmm! Oh and the shopping!! I splurged and bought myself a pair of black Christian Louboutin heels as a Christmas gift to myself – something I’ve always wanted to do. Trust me, they are sexy as fuck and worth every penny!

One of my best girlfriends joined me on the trip and together we set out on adventures in the beautiful big city. Honestly her and I were just so overwhelmed to be in NYC that there were times we actually cried. For me, New York has always been a bucket list city for me. I’ve felt drawn to it for some reason so to be there for New Year’s Eve surrounded by people I care about meant the world to me. Just thinking about it makes me emotional.

I came home feeling optimistic that 2019 will be a year full of great things to come and my goal is to work towards getting exactly what I want in my life and not feeling selfish about that. I’m grateful for my friends who love me and support me and want to see me succeed. I don’t know what I would do without you – thank you.

Venus xo

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Cuck fear

“Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.”

Venus

I’ve  been wanting to write about this for quite some time now; cuck fear. It’s real . It’s overwhelming. It paralyzes.

I’ve talked to hundreds of cucks over the past three years and I’ve noticed that the biggest fear most of them have is the risk of anyone find out about their cuck side. Aside from that I’ve noticed that they are also afraid that their wife/girlfriend will fall in love with a bull and leave them. Both of these are legitimate fears and I can totally understand why these would be a major area of concern but when it comes to the need for discretion and privacy, I have a few things to say about that.

I want cucks to stop worrying so much about people finding out. So many of them say they want everything to appear “normal” to everyone else and the cuckolding part be something “behind closed doors”.  When I ask why they all say things like it’s embarrassing for guys to be viewed as a cuck, they think they’ll lose their job or their friends, they will basically  lose respect from people who they care about. I totally get it – no one wants to go through that however I think the reality is actually much different from the fear.

I don’t necessarily want people to know everything about my personal life but I don’t want to live in fear of people finding out about who I am and I do not want to feel ashamed about who I am and my relationship dynamic. I am proud of who I am, how I’ve grown, how I know what I want, and most of all I’m passionate about cuckolding relationships. I’ve lived it and experienced it for the beautiful, incredible, and magical love that it is. Why would I be ashamed of that?

Sure guys might feel embarrassed about it and they tell me it’s different for guys because they face more backlash from people because guys are supposed to be the opposite of a cuckold – that’s society’s expectation of them. Yeah I understand that but really I think women get the brunt of the judgment from ignorant people. Slut shaming is everywhere and it’s relentless.  For a lot of women there’s nothing worse than being regarded as a slut or a whore.

What lots of cucks don’t realize is that open relationships are “out there” and accepted more than ever right now. Whether it be couples who swing, polyamorous couples, or one sided open relationships like cuckolding, people are way more open about it now than ever  before.  Just go on Tinder and see how many people are open about it on their profiles. Happy couples being open about who they are and it’s all okay – it’s a beautiful thing. Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.

I think by hiding in the cuck closet with the door firmly locked, we are making things worse. My hope is that people learn more about this relationship dynamic and ultimately understand it better and perhaps society will one day accept it as something that certainly is “outside of the box” but still a legitimately loving relationship where both people are happy and fulfilled.

What really  needs to happen is cucks needs to take some risks and just be proud of who they are. Baby steps and we will get there…

Venus xo

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Cuckold porn is garbage

“Cuckolding (in my mind) is a complex emotional dynamic between two people who are in love and in a deeply committed relationship, and it’s nearly impossible to be able to translate that emotional exchange from the screen to the viewer using mainstream  porn.”

Venus

A few years ago when I was introduced to cuckolding by a new boyfriend I was lucky enough to not have watched any cuck porn prior to that. I say lucky because I think the vast majority of cuck porn out there is fucking garbage.

Still to this day I haven’t found any cuck porn that I like very much so I just mainly stick to interracial BBC content and at least that satisfies my Queen of Spades needs. It got me wondering though…why is cuck porn so awful? Why have porn companies done such a bad job with this one category?

Cuckolding (in my mind) is a complex emotional dynamic between two people who are in love and in a deeply committed relationship, and it’s nearly impossible to be able to translate that emotional exchange from the screen to the viewer using mainstream  porn.

Sure you can have the husband watching his wife get pounded by another man, but how boring is that for the viewer? So producers try to spice it up with the femdom aspect and use it to humiliate the husband overtly and cruelly – this story line dominates the cuckold videos online and that’s fine for those who love it but I think it misses the mark.

Then there are the many amateur videos online to kind of fill that void I guess and yes there are some fairly good ones out there but I haven’t found any that I really love either. I think the realness of the scene is appreciated by the viewers but still is missing something in the translation to the person watching who is trying to imagine being there, a part of it.

Then there are the cuckolding memes that dominate Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and all sorts of other places. These I’m sure are all made by guys who want to convey and share their desires and fantasies in this kind of lifestyle and I think it’s these memes that more accurately describe cuckolding than porn videos.  It’s usually just an image and a small piece of narrative attached to it but it’s powerful and triggers thoughts in motion, deep desires, and massive arousal.  Pretty much every  cuck who I’ve talked to has a little collection of favourites.  Funny enough someone once stole one of my Fetlife photos and made a meme with it and posted it somewhere and I didn’t know whether to be pissed off about it or flattered – seriously just ask permission first guys!

Anyways I’m always hoping that more women will come to understand and appreciate this kind of relationship and unfortunately I think cuckold porn isn’t helping with that. In fact I think it’s a deterrent.

Venus xo

Wedding night BBC gangbang

“I see myself on my knees, my ring sparkling on my finger, my hair perfectly styled and my makeup on point, and my pretty white dress contrasting sharply with the smooth beautiful black skin surrounding me… I look over at my husband sitting there, watching me, loving it. I smile at him and say “I love you baby”. I am in heaven and he is right there with me.”

Venus

My biggest fantasy: having my first gangbang on my wedding night. I’m determined to make it happen and any cuck who dates me has to understand that this is not negotiable.  I’ve brought this up before on my blog post ’17 ways to cuck your man’ and mentioned it in my interview for kinkycast.com but today I want to let loose and really dive head first right into what exactly I want for this special occasion.

I want to get married on a white sand beach somewhere overlooking crystal clear waters. 5 of my favourite black guys will get a special invitation to the event (I’ve already picked out some of them and told them they can one day expect the invite). They will  watch us take our vows and maybe even slip into a few of the photos with the bride and groom. After the ceremony they join us in our honeymoon suite and that’s when all the magic happens…

I see myself on my knees, my ring sparkling on my finger, my hair perfectly styled and my makeup on point, and my pretty white dress contrasting sharply with the smooth beautiful black skin surrounding me. The photographer in the background making sure every incredible moment is expertly documented for me. I will look over at my husband  and ask him to come over to me. I want a comparison photo of his unfortunate white dick next to a huge black cock – god I love those photos!

Then hubby goes back to sitting in the corner to watch. My black guys move towards me and take me – they take what they want and they don’t have to ask. My mascara runs down my cheeks, my blonde hair falls out of place, my dress eventually ends up in a messy pile on the floor. I take all of that big black cock like I’m made for it – because I am. The photographer captures all of it. I look over at my husband sitting there, watching me, loving it. I smile at him and say “I love you baby”. I am in heaven and he is right there with me.

This is undoubtedly going to be the best day of my life and I will want a repeat every anniversary after that!

Venus xo

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The natural progression of a cuckoldress

“Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time.”

Venus

Recently I read my very first blog post ‘what the fuck is cuckolding’ which I wrote almost 2  years ago and what stood out for me was where I spoke about humiliation. At that time, while starting out my adventures in cuckolding, I felt interested in the humiliation aspect of cuckolding but only as long as I didn’t feel overtly cruel about it. I also wasn’t interested in male chastity at the time. I basically understood nothing about what its purpose was.

Fast forward two years and I’ve evolved into a cuckoldress who loves dishing out humiliation and is addicted to keyholding. I’ve become more self centered, less patient, and more demanding with what I want. This seemingly effortless transition got me wondering….is this a common natural progression for all cuckoldresses?

Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time. I should mention that I haven’t really done much research at all about cuckolding. I haven’t read any other blogs or talked with other cuckoldresses so I basically have only my own experiences to go by and that leaves me wondering about what it’s like for other women like me.

I think that for women who were born for this kind of relationship, they enjoy the attention, sexual superiority and empowerment that this lifestyle gives them. It gives her permission to set the bar high and insist that he exceed it for her. And for men who are hardwired to be a cuck, the trust and commitment in this kind of relationship allows them to feel safe to submit to her and to want to live their own sex life strictly through hers. It’s a beautiful gift and the key to all of this working is of course love and trust.

So what do you think? Is there any truth in this? I welcome your comments.

 

Venus xo

 

The voice of Venus

A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a podcast on the subject of cuckolding. Today it aired on www.kinkycast.com

Here it is:

Update:

Turns out that episode was the most listened to episode in KinkyCast history so here’s the follow up episode with another short interview with Venus:

More episodes on more podcasts!

 

Update! Here is the second episode!!

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What the fuck is cuckolding?

“Cuckolding is different for everyone and there’s a huge spectrum of practices within it, but the main theme of cuckolding for me is that it’s a gift you give each other. The man gives his woman the gift of non-monogamy and incredible sexual experiences with others, and in turn the woman gives her man the gift of being involved in her experiences in some way. It’s a two way compersion street.”

Venus

Well here it is: my first post about life in this strange world of being a cuckoldress. I use that word ‘strange’, but really it’s not strange at all to me, just strange to the people who don’t understand it. In fact I feel like cuckolding in relationships is just a normal way of expressing your love and adoration of each other in a way that society generally feels is taboo in nature.

So what the fuck is cuckolding anyway? Most people have never heard of the term cuckold and therefore have no idea what that means. It’s no wonder though because so few people talk about it. It’s sometimes labelled as a fetish or a kink – both terms that invoke stereotypical images in your mind of all sorts of perverted and warped sexual scenarios, and that certainly doesn’t help normalize cuckolding in any way and doesn’t help facilitate conversations on the subject.

I often find myself being asked to define cuckolding, and oh my… I struggle with how to do that in a way that accurately credits this beautiful lifestyle. It’s easy to say cuckolding is a man who enjoys watching his woman have sex with other men, but that doesn’t even come close to encompassing what it is. Cuckolding is different for everyone and there’s a huge spectrum of practices within it, but the main theme of cuckolding for me is that it’s a gift you give each other. The man gives his woman the gift of non-monogamy and incredible sexual experiences with others, and in turn the woman gives her man the gift of being involved in her experiences in some way. It’s a two way compersion street.

I personally love the power imbalance that comes with cuckolding. The woman is admired, cherished, adored, and treated like a queen by her man while he is absolutely faithful to her. He loves making her happy and he enjoys seeing her satisfied. She’s put on a pedestal where she belongs and he makes sure she stays there.

Some cuckolds enjoy a level of humiliation within their relationship and again that varies between couples, some severe cruel humiliation and others less so with more love and respect for the cuck. Personally I have a kind and caring character so I don’t feel comfortable with anything overtly cruel or mean but I can understand how some submissive men may enjoy that dynamic.

Regardless of which definition you feel is more accurate, I’m hoping to use this blog as a means to help people better understand the cuckolding lifestyle, share insight on what it is like to be a cuckoldress, and in doing so helping myself to navigate and understand this amazing and exciting cuck world. Take my word for it, it’s fucking fascinating!

I welcome your respectful comments and feedback anytime of course and I will try to answer your questions as promptly as my busy life will allow.

Venus xo

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