This is my return to the Casual Swinger Podcast to talk all things cuckolding with the always insightful and hilarious Mickey and Mallory. The first episode was so much fun and this one doesn’t disappoint either! Some of the topics covered are: sexually empowering women in this lifestyle, defining a cuckoldress, real love in cuckolding, hotwifing, what makes a great cuckoldress, loving humiliation explained, how to approach your wife with this lifestyle, the real strength of cucks, and talking about the incredible Jack and Kissy episode where they explained their wedding night fantasy that came true – hotness! Also don’t miss my advice for couples who want to start exploring this beautiful dynamic. Enjoy!
International Women’s Day March 8, 2020
Join myself and Mallory, along with a panel of other women March 8th International Kinky Women’s Day webinars. It’s free and open for everyone to register!
How did you get into cuckolding? It’s one of the most common questions I get from men and women. Well, this podcast episode is all about the events in my life that led up to how I became a cuckoldress and exactly how my first cuckolding relationship started.
Join me for 20 minutes as I talk about my slutty high school days, finding Dan Savage’s Savage Love column, my sexual exploration in the non-monogamy world, how I met my first cuck, and of course details about what that first cuckolding experience was like for me…..spoiler alert – it’s super hot!!
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast is now available on nearly all podcast listening platforms including Apple itunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.
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Introducing The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast! Thank you to all of my friends who have encouraged me to create my own podcast about the beautiful world of cuckolding and now here it is!
Enjoy and share the fuck out of it!
“Sure I like how seemingly selfish and unfair cuckolding is compared to hotwifing but when you think of it, if that’s the way he loves it then really it’s about perception.” Venus
I briefly touched on this 3 years ago but now I would like to expand upon it. Cuckolding relationships are obviously amazing – I mean I have spent so much time writing about how incredible they can be and while they certainly aren’t for everyone, for the ones who this kind of lifestyle suits, it can feel like something beautifully natural.
In my experience cuckolding with someone I love is very much a two way compersion street. As much as it may seem like these cuckolding scenarios focus mainly around the woman getting her sexual needs met, it’s actually more about the emotional dance going on between her and her cuck. Ask any really good bull and he will tell you that in that room, the sex is about her but the moment is truly about the emotional radio waves between her and her cuck.
When my cuck is turned on it turns me on as well. When I am turned on, he gets turned on and it’s this wonderful continuous emotional loop. So it’s important to me that my cuck is enjoying himself. That’s why it is difficult for me to answer questions about how I feel a cuck should act and it’s also why humiliation is so fluid and completely dependent on the people involved. If he’s not into it then I’m not likely going to be either but if he does get turned on by it then it’s something I will likely run with.
Having said all of that, it really does take two people who love to see each other’s needs fulfilled – and that’s not something that should be unique to cuckolding relationships. Sure I like how seemingly selfish and unfair cuckolding is compared to hotwifing but when you think of it, if that’s the way he loves it then really it’s about perception.
Cuckolding is about love; love that we show in ways that society would consider to be taboo. If both people are happy, fulfilled, and in love, then who cares about what other people think. They don’t know what they’re missing.
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“I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.”Venus
I recently spent some time in an online cuckold chat room and noticed some interesting things that got me thinking. The first was that I was the only woman on there and the second was a question that kept being brought up by the husbands/boyfriends was “How do I get my wife into this?”.
There was advice and suggestions being given out and the husbands would go through the list of strategies that they would say either hasn’t worked or that they didn’t think would work with their wife, most of which included them talking to her and trying to convince her to try flirting and sleeping with other guys.
Now for those of you who know a little about me you understand that it didn’t take any convincing for me to jump right in as soon as my boyfriend brought it up, so it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why a woman would hesitate when given this opportunity. I tried hard to imagine what it was like for the wives/girlfriends out there whose husbands/boyfriends repeatedly try to approach the subject with them and it didn’t take long for me to assume that they would likely begin to feel annoyed, skeptical of their motives, or even hurt or offended by it.
The problem I think is that the pressure is coming from the men when really the conversation would be better received if it came from her friend – a woman who she trusts. I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.
As for how to connect women who are open minded enough to understand this lifestyle with women whose husbands need help, I don’t know the answer to that. I do believe however that all of the women who love this lifestyle need to start the discussions that need to take place. We need to help each other navigate the learning curve of this beautiful relationship dynamic. Write a blog, participate in chats, connect with women, talk to your open minded friends, whatever – let’s just support each other, because that’s what girlfriends are for.
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“Initially it may be hard to believe but trust grows and flourishes in this kind of dynamic but cuckolding actually makes the trust stronger between both of you especially over time.”Venus
Next level love
It can be hard to imagine love on a whole other level but believe me when I say this kind of relationship is intoxicating, magical, and intense far beyond what you could ever cultivate in a vanilla relationship.
2. Female sexual empowerment
Many women say cuckolding has increased their confidence level, sexual prowess, and ability to ask for exactly what they want. They feel more confident with their bodies and their sex appeal.
Initially it may be hard to believe but trust grows and flourishes in this kind of dynamic but cuckolding actually makes the trust stronger between both of you especially over time.
Let’s face it, all vanilla relationships get boring at some point. But with all of the sexual adventures and intimate moments found in this kind of dynamic it’s just not likely to lose the excitement. In fact over time it’s probably going to get even more fun.
5. Your happiness is his happiness
This is pretty much all about you. You are the center of his universe and he will do anything to keep you happy and that makes you love him even more. He has no interest in sex with other women and he just loves focusing entirely on you and your sexual adventures.
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“Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.”Venus
Here are a few little tips and wise words of advice for you to learn how to approach me and how to behave around me. I say ‘me’ because I have no idea what other single cuckoldresses want or prefer so for now, this really is just about me. Of course this is a continuation to my expectations in How to catch a Goddess so definitely take notes on that one too.
- I need to be attracted to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so please at least attach a photo or description of yourself when you introduce yourself. I also need to know a little about you and not just that you’re into cuckolding – you know…normal stuff you’d want someone to know about you.
- If for whatever reason I decide to politely tell you I’m not interested in you (or I’ve repeatedly ignored you) please do not respond with a multitude of questions asking me why and get offended or start arguing with me. This is just going to piss me off.
- I’m not your jerk-off material. Do not get so whipped up into a frenzy with all of the cuckolding chat that you forget about the relationship part. This happens all too often. Do not ask me for pictures and videos. I used to share them but I have since learned that it’s not helpful to try to build relationships when guys just depend on me for it every day.
- Don’t make bullshit promises. Do not tell me that you’re willing to move to Canada if you haven’t even looked into the process. It’s not easy at all and you should know that already.
- Don’t start off by asking if you can watch me fuck a black guy or if you can do clean up afterwards. Really I can’t believe how many guys say this to me right off the bat. If that’s one of the first things you say to me then I will tell you to fuck off. It’s an actual relationship I’m after, not just fulfilling some sort of cuckold fantasy.
- Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.
- Telling me that you want to buy me lingerie so that I can wear it for black guys is not going to get me excited. While I appreciate the offer (and I have received a shit load of offers), this is not so much a gift for me as it is a gift for yourself so you can jerk off to the thought of it. How about you find out what it is that I truly need or want and do it just because you want to make me happy?
- DO NOT SEND ME YOUR UGLY WHITE DICK PICS – fucking gross. I shouldn’t even need to say this.
- Just be yourself. You don’t need to lie about your situation or your identity. This kind of relationship is hugely built on trust and lying to me, even about something small, right in the beginning is not going to sit well with me. If you’re worried about discretion that’s fine, I understand that, but you need to trust me for me to trust you. If you’re married or in a relationship then tell me – don’t make up bullshit stories.
- Be prepared to do your homework, talk on the phone, and meet in person. I’m not interested in pen pals or endless texting so if it seems like things are not moving forward then I’m not going to continue chatting forever. Also, I’ve made a point of trying to list my answers to a lot of your questions here on my blog so that I don’t have to spend hours and hours answering them over and over individually so please do your homework and read up before asking me. In my post Everything else you’ve wanted to know I’ve answered the following questions:
What do your friends think about you being a cuckoldress?
What kinds of things do you make your cuck do?
What is it about cuckolding that makes you like it?
How did you get into cuckolding?
How public do you want your lifestyle?
Do you want to marry your cuck?
Do you want your cuck to participate sexually with you and your bull?
Are you into forced bi or ass play for your cuck?
What was the reaction of the tattoo artist when you got your queen of spades tattoo?
How long ago did you get into black guys?
Why not just date a black guy if that’s what you like so much?
Do you like BBC bareback and do you want to get pregnant?
Is there such a thing as too big?
“I believe that either you’re hardwired to be a cuck or not, and if it’s something you just want to try, it’s likely you are just into it for the erotic fantasy; kind of like role-playing a scenario or something like that.” Venus
I’m back after a bit of a break from things and am happy to be writing again here. I lost someone close to me and it has taken a little while to get back on my feet again but I’m pretty much back to my usual self once again. Shit happens in life sometimes!
I’ve thought about a few things the past couple of months while away. One of them being how much I love hearing stories from cucks about that turning point when they first got cucked, or when they first found out that cuckolding was something that turned them on immensely and became a big part of their life. It’s that moment in time that I love to hear them talk about.
I’ve noticed that a common theme is that they were cheated on by their girlfriend when they were younger and at first they didn’t like it but then at some point the feelings of jealousy and insecurity mixed with feeling turned on by it and wanting more. From that point on it was something they struggled to understand why they liked it but there was no denying that they needed it in a relationship.
Most guys I’ve talked to have at that point in their life continued to date vanilla women and hoped that their girlfriend would cheat on them, or some guys were brave enough to outright ask them to. From what I’ve heard most vanilla women say no though.
For my first cuck it was a bit different. He told me that the first time he saw a wife being shared in porn, after that he was hooked on the idea of him being faithful and the woman being a total slut. He also struggled with trying to understand why he wanted that and why he liked that so much but it was definitely something in his life that he wanted and needed to be happy in a relationship.
It’s interesting that for all of them it was an abrupt life changing event and not something that they gradually became interested in. I think that must be why I’m weary of guys who want to date me because they are just curious about cuckolding. I believe that either you’re hardwired to be a cuck or not, and if it’s something you just want to try, it’s likely you are just into it for the erotic fantasy; kind of like role-playing a scenario or something like that.
How did you first know you were meant to be a cuck? Comment below. I’d love to know!
“Each person has their own set of individual needs that need to be met on an ongoing basis and insecurities and miscommunication can lead to a breakdown and ultimately a collapse of the relationship.”Venus
The most common question I receive from cucks who want to date me is “What kind of cuck relationship do you want?”. It seems like an obvious first question given the wide spectrum of practices and preferences within this type of relationship, and you’d think it would be easy to answer, but I’ve found my answers have changed and evolved as I’ve learned more and more about cuckolding dynamics. I’ve had to examine how I feel about various relationship compositions, roles, and expectations in order to figure out what I like and what I don’t like. Often times as with everything else in this lifestyle, I have to try something in order to see if I feel comfortable with it.
I suspect the most common cuck relationship is where the monogamous husband is sexually denied (sometimes or most of the time) while his non-monogamous wife sleeps with whoever she wants, usually strangers. The wife is not expected to develop feelings for her bulls – it’s simply a sexual experience for her. Usually the cuck is present when she is with her bulls and he may or may not be directly involved in the action in some way. While this kind of relationship is continually exciting, there are safety issues when meeting with only strangers all the time.
Another variation I’ve come across is where the wife has one bull whom she has a romantic relationship with as well as a sexual bond. She has a relationship with her cuck husband as well, but he’s there to give her emotional support, love, comfort, companionship, and financial stability. Often the cuck in this type of relationship wants the bull to live in the same house with them and the wife has the benefit of having two stable, loving, long term relationships.
As a cuckoldress, I have to decide what kind of relationship I want as well as what kind of humiliating things I want to practice on my cuck. With so many options and variations it can be a bit daunting at first to figure it all out.
I have had some experience with both types of cuck relationships and I feel comfortable with both scenarios. The first one is the easiest to maintain as you’re only dealing with a relationship dynamic between the husband and wife. The second scenario can be much more complicated. It starts to grow into a polyamorous type of relationship and with that comes all sorts of challenges. Each person has their own set of individual needs that need to be met on an ongoing basis and insecurities and miscommunication can lead to a breakdown and ultimately a collapse of the relationship. It’s not easy but if done correctly it can be very rewarding.
I get so excited when I hear about cuck couples who are succeeding and thriving with their relationship – whichever composition that might be – and I’d love to hear what has worked for you and why. Let me know! Leave a comment here or on my facebook page or twitter page. Thanks!
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