Love of the lock and key

“I’m here to say YES it is possible for you to lock up and YES you can do it and believe it or not you will actually appreciate it in a way you never thought was possible.”

Venus

There are some aspects of cuckolding relationships that I admit, some people think of as ‘extreme’. Chastity is one of them. I’m a fan. I love holding keys.

Nothing scares a guy more than the mention of chastity. It’s an automatic response: “There’s no way I could do that.”. I think it’s funny that’s always the exact reaction followed by “I need to jerk off every day – it just would never work.”. I’m here to say YES it is possible for you to lock up and YES you can do it and believe it or not you will actually appreciate it in a way you never thought was possible.

Because chastity is way more of a mental challenge than a physical one – for me and for you. The first few days are going to be the most challenging and I hate this part. You’re going to be anxious, needy, and probably going to be getting on my nerves. Luckily after a few weeks you figure it out and get used to being locked. You start to feel more mentally focused, on work and on me and things in your life other than jerking off have more importance to you now. After a few months (or sooner) you begin to feel like the cage is part of your body and part of who you are. Being unlocked is great but you actually want to be locked up again – yes believe me on this one!

For me, I will always remember the first time I held keys. It felt like I had so much power and control knowing I could lock or unlock him at any time. I would wear them on a chain around my neck and occasionally casually touch the key with my hand and think about his cage so snug and tight…I loved it. I’ve held keys for a few people since and the longest I’ve kept someone locked has been about 3 months although the length of time is not as important to me as us together enjoying the time he’s locked.

Having said all of that I want to stress the importance of investing in a good quality chastity cage. Don’t waste your time and money on an off the shelf cheap made in China cage. It will pinch or rub in all the wrong places and it will probably break in no time. I would recommend a custom made stainless steel cage. You can take some careful measurements and then have one made exactly the right size. You’ll likely never need to buy another cage after that.

For the women and men out there who are at least curious about chastity I would say do some research about it, talk to some people who have done it, and try it. Trust me – you’ll love it.

Venus xo

P.S. I’ve added some of my favourite chastity photos to the Venus Vault! Don’t have access? Become a Patron of the Venus Cuckoldress blog and get access to the Venus Vault for private NSFW photos.

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[Guest Post] The challenge of cuckold consistency

“How do you finally “break” a cuck husband for good? Get him to fully commit, all in? I go back and forth in cuckolding with mine. I’ll have him very submissive for long periods on time but occasionally he kind of revolts and rebels and we have to work back into a “sub’ place.”

@the716Hotwife

This was the post I read on Twitter that really caught my attention. I love these honest and real relationship questions being addressed in this lifestyle so I invited her to write more about that comment here on my blog. The following is what she had to say. – Venus xo

To start with a bit of background, my husband and I have been married 17 years and started exploring “open” dynamics about 4 years ago. After exploring a few different dynamics, we found that cuckolding is the most comfortable , appropriate and natural dynamic between us. It’s so obvious to see and feel that our relationship is best harmonized when I am confidently in my place as Dominant Cuckoldress and he is in his place as my submissive cuckold bitch. In this mode, everything feels in sync. We are both more content and less stressed. We are both kinder and more patient parents to our young children. We are both more productive in life and work. And of course, we are both getting our natural sexual needs fulfilled. Me enjoying intense and dirty nights with my Bull and him indulging in his filthy and degrading submissive desires.

But, unfortunately, these times of synchronicity don’t last. The chaos of life with children is relentless and the demands of work always press on and in this whirlwind of life we both drift and from our natural roles of Cuckoldress and cuck and slip into that dark, dreary and humdrum cliché of American married life. Pretty much unconnected and asexual. A place neither of wants to be but for which we both take responsibility.

It seems the more intense of our period of cuckolding, the more we withdraw from each other when it breaks. Like a boxing match where after the round we retreat to our separate corners to recuperate – me taking a deep breath and my husband taking stock in his masculinity.

My goal is to commit to this lifestyle all-in and 100%. I feel confident and secure in the fact that my cuck is my absolute and rightful property and that my sexuality is all mine to exploit and enjoy. It’s so clear to us that this is all natural and beautiful. But maintaining consistency is our challenge.

How do we go from “on and off” to “forever and always?” From enticing to absolution? How do we take this to the next level? Is it merely all about me being more strict and severe with chastity, discipline, and humiliation? Or is there something else we’re missing?

I’d like to hear about how couples have made this transition from dabbling with cuckolding to committing to cuckolding.

@the716Hotwife

Twitter: https://twitter.com/the716Hotwife 

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The natural progression of a cuckoldress

“Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time.”

Venus

Recently I read my very first blog post ‘what the fuck is cuckolding’ which I wrote almost 2  years ago and what stood out for me was where I spoke about humiliation. At that time, while starting out my adventures in cuckolding, I felt interested in the humiliation aspect of cuckolding but only as long as I didn’t feel overtly cruel about it. I also wasn’t interested in male chastity at the time. I basically understood nothing about what its purpose was.

Fast forward two years and I’ve evolved into a cuckoldress who loves dishing out humiliation and is addicted to keyholding. I’ve become more self centered, less patient, and more demanding with what I want. This seemingly effortless transition got me wondering….is this a common natural progression for all cuckoldresses?

Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time. I should mention that I haven’t really done much research at all about cuckolding. I haven’t read any other blogs or talked with other cuckoldresses so I basically have only my own experiences to go by and that leaves me wondering about what it’s like for other women like me.

I think that for women who were born for this kind of relationship, they enjoy the attention, sexual superiority and empowerment that this lifestyle gives them. It gives her permission to set the bar high and insist that he exceed it for her. And for men who are hardwired to be a cuck, the trust and commitment in this kind of relationship allows them to feel safe to submit to her and to want to live their own sex life strictly through hers. It’s a beautiful gift and the key to all of this working is of course love and trust.

So what do you think? Is there any truth in this? I welcome your comments.

Venus xo

[Guest Post] Dating as a Cuck – Part 3

“I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelievable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.”

Anne

Here’s part 3 of Jay’s series on what it’s like to be a cuck in the dating scene. For this one he has interviewed his friend Anne. Anne is a married QoS and cuckoldress living in the North West who’s been very gracious to discuss her lifestyle. This is what she has to say:

J: Thank you so much for doing this!

A: Of course!

J: So why don’t you say a bit about yourself. I know we’ve known each other for a while but pretend like we’ve just met haha.

A: Well I’m 37, live in the Pacific North West. I’ve been married for about ten years now to my loving husband. We currently do not have any children though we would like to have a child in the near future. Although being childless at the moment allows us to put a lot of time into our very hectic work life.

J: Awesome. So could you explain the relationship dynamic you share with your husband?

A: Well Tom and I are in a female led relationship and along with being my loving husband, he is also my cuckold. It is absolutely not your typical relationship haha.

J: Can you describe how the relationship developed?

A: Sure. So I met Tom in college. We shared the same major, had a lot of classes together. He was very cute, and I actually approached him first haha. We ended up dating for about a year or so, but I started to lose attraction to him. It was a bit of an odd feeling as I really liked him but just didn’t want to be physical with him. I didn’t know how to end it, and being a stupid 21 year old, I cheated on him with a guy on the football team. I felt terrible, but our football team was one of the best in the nation, and the football players were basically celebrities on campus. Every girl was swooning after them. They were also way more masculine than Tom, I mean you’ve seen football players, they’re quite the physical specimens haha. And a 21 year old girl with options can’t help herself around guys like that.

J: So you cheated, and then what?

A: Well we broke up. It was a mutual breakup, but I felt so bad for Tom and I decided to remain friends. In the meanwhile, I began to see guys on the football team more frequently. I was especially attracted to some of the black guys on the team. I went to an all girls catholic high school and lived in a sheltered suburb growing up, so part of it was a novelty thing. But they also had a certain confidence that I never saw in white guys, I guess you could say a swagger. I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelievable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.

J:Ahh so that’s when you got hooked! I had always wondered haha.

A: Yup! So after college I began to work at an ad agency. Quickly worked my way up the ladder, which is super tough as a woman in that industry just so you know. But I eventually became a mid-level VP. Didn’t have boyfriend but I was still in contact with Tom. One day Tom said he was looking for a new job and I told him we were hiring. So he applied, and ended up getting the job. His very first day after work he asks me on a date, and we ended up completely rekindling what we used to have. I was in love with him, but the sex was such a let down. Tom has a very thin below average penis and just could not come anywhere close to providing the same sensations as the black guys I was with. He’s also only a few inches taller than me and has a slim build, and I’m a bit of a thick gal so I need a tall muscular guy in order to really be pushed around how I like to be. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I asked if he would be open to swinging. He said yes, and I was thrilled because I could finally get my BBC fix haha.

J: So how do you get from that to where you are now?

A: Well Tom quickly picked up on my affinity for black guys haha. We began to experiment and he allowed me to invite one of my favorite swinging partners into our bedroom for a threesome. I believe that’s when Tom began to see his place. I mean I could tell by the look in Tom’s eyes, he was intimidated by the other guy. And I could see his stomach drop when he got a look at my partner’s massive BBC. But it was funny cause I noticed that I was actually turned on by Tom being intimidated. In the past I felt bad about telling Tom about his shortcomings, but now it seemed to be a turn on. Looking back on it, I guess it was only natural. I mean I was essentially Tom’s boss and earned way more than him, I’d strut around the office in heels and tower over him, despite me cheating on him and breaking his heart he still wanted to be friends with me. So after that night I began to start seeing other guys on my own without Tom, and that more or less was the start of our current relationship. We didn’t make some grand decision to have a female led relationship, it was just very clear to the both of us that I was in charge. By the time I decided to marry him, I knew that I needed two kinds of men in my life. A man who I loved and could control, and a man who could control me. So Tom was perfect.

J: Wow that is kind of amazing haha. So what’s the relationship like now?

A: Oh I just wanna say something because I don’t want to come off as a bitch to the Internet haha. But I don’t mean to say that Tom is less of a man! He’s very smart, loving, ambitious, and kind which is what a man should be. He’s not a good sexual partner and many women would agree with me, but he’s not less of a man.

J: Well thank you for clearing that up, so what’s the relationship like now?

A: Well we have incorporated more femdom aspects over time. He is almost always in chastity. He gets a handjob once every two months but that depends on his behavior. Sex is never an option. When we decide to have kids obviously we’ll have sex but outside of that he will forever be celibate. I know sounds harsh but Tom is accepting of this. Hmm what else, well we’ve done strapon play at times and Tom does get spanked if he screws up haha. Since we don’t have kids I normally have a bull over three times a week but sometimes I’m so busy that I’ll go a few weeks without any action except for Tom’s tongue, which thankfully is fantastic haha. Other than that, my close group of friends know everything about our relationship, but outside of that small group we appear as a typical loving couple.

J: Well that was incredible to hear! Thank you so much for your time!