The chastity experiment – with Key Barrett, MSc

What if I told you that chastity is very different from what you would likely imagine it to be? What if it actually changes you and your relationship in a very profound way – a way that would bring you next level love, care, and attention? Would you want to learn more about it? Would you maybe even… try it?

In this episode Venus is joined by author Key Barrett to talk about his two week chastity experiment and how by day three everything had changed – so much so, that he was inspired to write “Locked in Love – How two weeks in chastity can end the barter system, renew courtship and make a better husband.”

This is the episode for everyone, but especially for couples who are curious about truly putting her first!

About Key Barrett:
Key Barrett is the pseudonym of a published author. What is not a pseudonym is the M.Sc. He has a Masters of Science in Anthropology. Key studied sexual subcultures across to Europe and North America, before turning his attention to Female-Led Relationships and specifically what makes the good ones so strong.
He writes both non fiction and fiction with a female-leadership bent. All works are judgment-free and always between consenting adults.
Click here to see his author page on Amazon and find him on Twitter

 

 

 

Historical Context For Chastity

Does the modern notion of chastity, caging, and cuckoldry, replace the very ancient concept of the Eunuch? What is a Eunuch, and is a chastity cage simply a modern solution to an age-old challenge?

The dictionary definition of Eunuch is eu·nuch

/ˈyo͞onək/

Learn to pronounce

noun

  1. a man who has been castrated, especially (in the past) one employed to guard the women’s living areas at an imperial court.
  • an ineffectual person.

The Greek translation, eunouchosmeans (1) chamberlain, keeper of the bed-chamber of an eastern ruler, (2) a castrated person, or one who voluntarily abstains from marriage.

Ancient Origins

Ancient human societies deal with the power imbalance of social hierarchies in various ways. Eunuchs played a crucial role in societies as recently as the Ottoman empire. 

The concept of Harems, involved royal male at the top of the social hierarchy having many wives. This was a construct that developed as humans transitioned from hunter-gatherer to agrarian cultures. In nomadic bands, concepts such as ownership and property did not exist. But as humans settled down into geography, power structures, primarily patriarchal, began to develop. 

As those social hierarchies began to take form, the simple math dictated that other men must go without for a single man to have many lovers. Enter the Eunuch. 

The Eunuch in Eastern Empires

Dating back at least 4000yrs, Eunuchs served as court administrators, government officials, and harem minders. These ‘eunuchs’ established role was as “bed chamber attendants” in the imperial palace. Eunuchs were valued as “being good with respect to the mind,” based on their “being deprived of intercourse. The Ancients said Intercourse creates irrational behavior. (sound familiar?)

Eunuchs supposedly did not generally have loyalties to the military, the aristocracy, or a family of their own (having neither offspring nor in-laws, at the very least). Emperors and others viewed Eunuchs as trustworthy. The perception was they would be less interested in establishing a private ‘dynasty.’ Because their condition usually lowered their social status. Eunuchs were easily replaced without repercussion. In cultures that had both harems and eunuchs, eunuchs often served as harem servants.

The old testament has 45 references to Eunuchs. 

And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood who will be born to you, will be taken away, and they will become eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.” (Isaiah 39:7)

Chastity and Cuckoldry 

Our modern age is decidedly euro-centric. European culture followed a different path than eastern cultures. Monogamy is primarily a European ideal perpetuated by the roman catholic church. The appeal of a 1 for one monogamous pair bonding was obvious. Think of this social compact as sort of a chicken in every pot promise for a growing religion spreading through the European continent that had primarily been matriarchal and druidic. 

In many ways, it appealed to men on all levels of society that they too could possess a mate. But again, it comes from a patriarchal point of view.

We enter into an era of female empowerment. Women finally gain genuine autonomy over who they choose as partners. They break the bonds of social constructs that treated them as possessions for ages. 

But the recent explosion of chastity and open cuckoldry evokes ancient notions of the bed-chamber attendants. The Bull serves, for one night (or many) as the Emperor, the chastity cage is a non-surgical method of castration. Still, it produces the same reliable, trustworthy and compliant dynamic. 

References:

Acts 8:26–40 Bible Study Summary: Warren Camp | Hearty Boys. https://www.warrencampdesign.com/acts/part1/week15.php

Isaiah 39:7 NKJV – ‘And they shall take away… | Biblia. https://biblia.com/bible/nkjv/isaiah/39/7

The Venus List

It’s a list of Venus’s favourite things (some of them explicit) so here we go!

Favourite:

cuckolding moment
porn videos
Venus interview
blog post
new blogs
place to meet bulls
femdom aspects within cuckolding
dick pics
first dates
outfits for bulls
cuck tease/humiliation
turn-ons
kinds of bulls
sex positions
things to do for my bulls
sex toys
lifestyle events

Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”

Venus

So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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A Queen of Spades tattoo

“The Queen of Spades tattoos are a huge turn on for both cucks and bulls. Cucks feel like it puts them in their place and black bulls love the dedication to them. It’s great.”

Venus

One of the things people ask me about a lot is my Queen of Spades tattoos. I have three of them, one on my ankle, one right above my pussy, and one on the back of my neck. For those of you who don’t know, a Queen of Spades tattoo signals to people that I prefer sleeping with black men.

A little over four years ago I first came across the symbol online and a few weeks later, got my first one – it’s the one right above my pussy. People always ask me what the tattoo artist said when I got it done, and honestly it’s not a very exciting story, he didn’t know what it meant so was not a big deal. A few weeks after that I went to Phoenix to see a cuck and while he was in chastity and I was straddled over him he took some beautiful photos – one of my absolute favourite ones is widely shared on the internet now but you can see it in the Venus Vault. It’s so stunning…so symbolic, a piece of art.

About a year later I got the same Queen of Spades tattoo on my ankle, with the name of my late cuck under it. That one obviously has a lot of meaning to me and I don’t talk about that part of my life much.

The most recent one on the back of my neck is of a crown with a ring of spades around it (also in the Venus Vault). Although it’s a Queen of Spades tattoo, it does take some interpreting to understand it. I get asked about that one a lot at work when I wear my hair up and I usually just say something about loving the symbolism of a crown and that’s it.

Countless people have asked me what people say about my ankle tattoo when I’m in public and the answer is they don’t. No one has ever known what it means and said something to me about it. Maybe it’s where I live (no one here seems to know anything about this sort of thing) or maybe people are just too shy I don’t know but it’s not like I hide it. I go to the beach, wear skirts out downtown, and go to the indoor swimming pool and still no one even looks at me like they know what it means. I think far more people in the US know what it means and I’m more likely to get comments about it down there.

Regardless of the lack of comments, the Queen of Spades tattoos are a huge turn on for both cucks and bulls. Cucks feel like it puts them in their place and black bulls love the dedication to them. It’s great. Will I be getting any more QoS tattoos? I don’t think so. Three is enough for me. Will I want one for my cuck? I don’t know. I like the idea but I haven’t seen one I like yet.

Am I worried that one day I might regret my tattoos? No I doubt it. I love them. They are part of who I am and I’m proud of them. I hope I inspire other women to get a Queen of Spades tattoo as well.

Venus xo

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