What’s a bull?

For those of you who are just learning about what cuckolding relationships are all about, no doubt at some point you’re going to wonder what a bull is. Why is it called that? What physical and sexual characteristics does a bull usually have and why is it so important (and difficult) to find the right one?

Join me in this podcast episode as I delve into the unique role of the bull within cuckolding relationships and try to explain how mind blowing the experiences can be for you all when you find the bull you really want and need. Also learn about the red flags of bad bull behaviour and the green flags you should look out for with the good ones.

Enjoy!

Venus xo

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How it all began

How did you get into cuckolding? It’s one of the most common questions I get from men and women. Well, this podcast episode is all about the events in my life that led up to how I became a cuckoldress and exactly how my first cuckolding relationship started.

Join me for 20 minutes as I talk about my slutty high school days, finding Dan Savage’s Savage Love column, my sexual exploration in the non-monogamy world, how I met my first cuck, and of course details about what that first cuckolding experience was like for me…..spoiler alert – it’s super hot!!

Venus xo

The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast is now available on nearly all podcast listening platforms including Apple itunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.

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Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”

Venus

So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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What makes a great bull

“What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle (all of it not just the cuckoldress part) and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.”

Venus

I was talking to a bull who I connected with recently about something that really got me thinking and inspired me to write. What is it that sets apart the good bulls from the really great bulls in this lifestyle?

People ask me all the time what I look for in a bull and I guess for the single cucks it’s just out of curiosity but for the couples I think there’s always this unending search to find a stable of the really great bulls and that’s not an easy task. The really great ones are few and far between.

For me I have a few things that are mandatory on the list like he has to be black (American black guys are my favourite), 9+inches and thick, and fuck like a champion, but what really makes the difference is the sexual chemistry and one more very important factor….I need to love his mind. I’m not alone in wanting that last one on the list. I’ve heard this from many cuckoldresses as well. What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle (all of it not just the cuckoldress part) and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.

Sure sometimes I fuck a few new guys but the ones I keep around are the bulls who I consider to be my friends. I can talk to them about regular everyday things just as easily as getting into the most filthy of conversations about them blackfucking my pretty pussy or about me wanting their big black dick to slide down my throat, making my mascara run down. We can go months without seeing each other and there never be pressure or guilt about it, they know about each other and never have jealousy or possessiveness (actually they love it when I share pics and videos with them), and of course they love and respect how much I want and need cuckolding and BBC in my life.

There’s so much more to it than just physical attributes and liking to fuck and this is why I wish more women in this lifestyle would connect so that we can share our little black book of favourite bulls and therefore help celebrate the value of the really great bulls – they are priceless.

Venus xo

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The power of a bull

“I also think that similarly women in this lifestyle are either born to be a cuckoldress or not and men are either born wired to be a cuck or not. Personally I don’t think it’s something that you can just try on. For me I knew I wanted this even before I knew it was even a possibility.  I can understand how that would be true for a bull as well.”

Venus

Over the years I’ve come to really appreciate a bull who understands what it is to really be a true bull – someone who respects all of the roles within this kind of relationship dynamic and really loves the power that comes with it. There are lots of guys out there who are willing to take on the role of a bull to get some pussy but few who really adopt that role as a part of who they are. I love a bull who knows how to say and do the right things to both me and to a cuck and not just in the bedroom. That shit turns me on like crazy!

Recently came across a new bull (who was recommended to me by a woman I met) and he gave me some insight into to his thoughts about this. The following is what he had to say.    – Venus xo

 

“I’m a 28 year old bull who has been in the lifestyle for about 7 years but I have indeed been a bull for 28 years. It was the lifestyle that labelled my natural dominance, sexually and otherwise. My point is, just because you’re a black man or have a black dick, does not make you a bull – it’s a mindset, an unspoken confidence, or a swag if you will.  In my opinion it’s something you’re born with and if not and you try to pose, people will see right through you. 

Cucks take notice: I will be dominant with you. I will be firm with you. You will know the pecking order. And that’s okay. It’s who you are to be naturally submissive. Embrace it. And after you bust the nut just know I don’t and won’t stop being a dominant bull. It’s who I am, and I embrace it. 

So many cucks use black men and white women as jack off material – stop! You are not serious about the lifestyle and above that it’s offensive. A real bull will never just settle for being jack off material. A real bull has a need to exert his dominance toward the cuck outside of sex.”

I really love what he says about it being something that you’re born with. I also think that similarly women in this lifestyle are either born to be a cuckoldress or not and men are either born wired to be a cuck or not. Personally I don’t think it’s something that you can just try on. For me I knew I wanted this even before I knew it was even a possibility.  I can understand how that would be true for a bull as well.

True bulls are hard to come by and I imagine nearly all of the cuckoldresses have a little black book with a list of their favourite bulls – I know I do!

Venus xo

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