Shining a light on the cuck perspective

For all of the absolute shit that 2020 has brought to the world there has been one really incredible trend that I’ve noticed. Over the past couple of months there have been several new blogs that popped up and I am so happy about it. For all of the porn fantasy shit that saturates the cuckolding lifestyle, it’s so refreshing to have something that reflects the beautiful reality of true loving cuckolding relationships.

These blogs are well thought out and definitely get you thinking and reflecting. Here they are:

The Geeky Cuckold – you can find him on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/TheGeekyCuckold

The Confident Cuck – also on Twitter https://twitter.com/ConfidentCuck

Cuckoldress Scarlet she’s on Twitter too: https://twitter.com/CuckoldressS

Cuckold Kisses – he’s on Twitter https://twitter.com/CuckoldKisses

A couple more blogs that have been around for a while but are also great:

Cuckold Marriage – Anne – she is also on Twitter https://twitter.com/AnneCuckoldress

The Goddess Worshipping Blog – find him on Twitter here https://twitter.com/wokewhtknight

For more helpful resources visit the Recommended Resources page.

Venus xo

New episode – how do I get my wife into this?

This is where I do my best to answer the one question that I’ve been asked the most over the years….how do I get my wife into this? How do I bring it up? What’s the best approach? What if she hates the idea? There are so many things to take into consideration it’s no wonder there are so many men looking for answers. In this new episode I do my best to try to provide some answers and give some helpful advice, tips, and suggestions so that hopefully you’ll have a positive outcome. Take notes for this one!

Venus xo

Thank you to all of the Patreon subscribers for your ongoing support. As a thank you, you get special access to the Venus Vault where my personal and private photos and videos are – enjoy!

What’s a bull?

For those of you who are just learning about what cuckolding relationships are all about, no doubt at some point you’re going to wonder what a bull is. Why is it called that? What physical and sexual characteristics does a bull usually have and why is it so important (and difficult) to find the right one?

Join me in this podcast episode as I delve into the unique role of the bull within cuckolding relationships and try to explain how mind blowing the experiences can be for you all when you find the bull you really want and need. Also learn about the red flags of bad bull behaviour and the green flags you should look out for with the good ones.

Enjoy!

Venus xo

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All cucked up – with Casual Swinger

This is my return to the Casual Swinger Podcast to talk all things cuckolding with the always insightful and hilarious Mickey and Mallory. The first episode was so much fun and this one doesn’t disappoint either! Some of the topics covered are: sexually empowering women in this lifestyle, defining a cuckoldress, real love in cuckolding, hotwifing, what makes a great cuckoldress, loving humiliation explained, how to approach your wife with this lifestyle, the real strength of cucks, and talking about the incredible Jack and Kissy episode where they explained their wedding night fantasy that came true – hotness! Also don’t miss my advice for couples who want to start exploring this beautiful dynamic. Enjoy!

International Women’s Day March 8, 2020

Join myself and Mallory, along with a panel of other women March 8th International Kinky Women’s Day webinars. It’s free and open for everyone to register!

The art of the tease

For a long time I’ve said that guys who are cucks have to be wired in a way to love this. Cuck scenarios, humiliation, and sexual denial have to create cuck angst (a mix of turned on, anxious, nervousness etc) in order for him to actually enjoy it and women need to be able to dish it out in a loving way and cuckolding relationships are about the woman including the guy she loves in some way when it comes to her sexual adventures with other men. This episode is all about exploring ways women can do that, so for women who maybe are just curious about cuckolding or couples who need some new ideas, this is the episode for you.

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How it all began

How did you get into cuckolding? It’s one of the most common questions I get from men and women. Well, this podcast episode is all about the events in my life that led up to how I became a cuckoldress and exactly how my first cuckolding relationship started.

Join me for 20 minutes as I talk about my slutty high school days, finding Dan Savage’s Savage Love column, my sexual exploration in the non-monogamy world, how I met my first cuck, and of course details about what that first cuckolding experience was like for me…..spoiler alert – it’s super hot!!

Venus xo

The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast is now available on nearly all podcast listening platforms including Apple itunes, Spotify, and Stitcher.

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“How do I get my wife into this?”

“First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer.”

Venus

It’s the million dollar question I get asked all the time and I never have a really good answer for it. But for this blog post I will try my best to address this for all of you husbands out there.

Nearly all cuckolding relationships start out with a long term relationship where the husband approaches the wife with the idea – I don’t know why but that’s the usual beginnings of it. Rarely a wife will bring it up with her husband, and even more rare is when a relationship starts out with two people who are looking for a cuckold relationship. Sometimes it happens when the wife cheats and there is a discussion to try cuckolding after that but that’s not all that common either.

So it’s usually a case where the husband is wondering how to approach his wife about it or he has and she is not on board and he wants to know how to “convince” her. No wonder I get asked about it so often.

First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer. As hard as that answer is to hear, you need to ask yourself if you will be okay with that result (it’s just not for her) and then ask yourself what that ultimately means for you. Can you be happy without it or is this something that you need long term to feel fulfilled? Those are tough questions that you will need to address. Also be prepared to accept that she may be open to trying it but not likely to love it in a way that will see her participate long term.

If you are not sure how to approach her then start working on communication in your relationship. If you’re not sure how to do that then perhaps seek some help from a counselor or therapist who is open minded to these kinds of relationship dynamics. Communication skills in a relationship are fundamental and worth the time and money you invest into it and sexual compatibility is just as important as love, trust, and connection so make it a top priority.

Do not approach it like it’s something weird – talk about it as something that bonds and connects you. Make it less about the sex with others and more about the experiences you are creating together. This is a journey you would like to take with her so let her know that she is in the driver’s seat – this is about her and the love you feel when she is able to fully express her sexuality, feel desired, and be completely sexually fulfilled.

If you’ve talked to her and she wants to do some research online please tell her to be careful or at least guide her in the right direction. Mainstream cuck porn is not what she needs to watch (it’s unrealistic garbage), amature is better but still doesn’t portray what’s really happening, and Tumblr and Twitter is just going to be a sea of jerk off material for fantasy driven cucks and a bizarre collection of findom factories spewing out some false narrative about slave cuckolding – all of which will make her run in the other direction.

If she is still interested and wants to learn more, it would be wise to try and connect with other couples in your area or online who she can feel comfortable talking to. Friendships between women in this lifestyle are priceless. Do whatever you can to help her form friendships so she can feel like she can ask questions to someone other than you. Trust me she will appreciate this.

Lastly, don’t pressure her. This is what I hear a lot from husbands, that they continue to try all sorts of tactics to “convince” her. I swear if that was me I would be so annoyed. Give her some space and time and opportunities to think about what you’re proposing. It can be a big decision for her so respect that. And remember, it might just not be something she will ever want. You may have to accept that.

Venus xo

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Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”

Venus

So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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Truth and jealousy

“Cuckolding demands a high level of trust and communication and it continually challenges it in many ways. If there is the slightest waver, it will all eventually come crashing down. It’s no wonder most cuckold relationships begin with an already established and committed long term bond- it’s necessary.”

Venus

The complicated emotions involved in a cuckold relationship is what makes it so complex and beautiful. It’s a roller coaster of emotions and feelings, some lasting a moment, and some linger for days, but all are necessary to maintain that incredible bond between each other.

Trust is the most important aspect that anchors a cuckold relationship. If I can’t trust him then there’s no moving on from that. No cuckold relationship can function properly without a solid foundation built on trust – trust you give each other again and again without question. Trust should be a silent steady comfort, something that is a gift you give despite being vulnerable for it. Cuckolding demands a high level of trust and communication and it continually challenges it in many ways. If there is the slightest waver, it will all eventually come crashing down. It’s no wonder most cuckold relationships begin with an already established and committed long term bond- it’s necessary. From what I have heard, women are most likely to make mistakes when it comes to trust in a cuckold relationship.

Many people think that jealousy is a normal part of cuckolding – I disagree. Cuck angst is that beautiful dance of emotions…jealousy, sexual attraction, love, and anxiety, that cucks feel when the woman they love engages with another man and it’s quite different from jealousy alone. Jealousy is a negative emotion. It complicates and erodes relationships and with it the trust is lost as well. This can be a common mistake that cucks make when they are new in a cuckold relationship. Navigating this emotion can be really difficult and that’s part of why I always say that despite people thinking cucks are weak, they actually are incredibly strong – they have to be. It’s not easy!

Venus xo

Thank you to those of you who have recently become Patrons of the blog! I’ve enjoyed chatting and getting to you you all and I’m so happy that you’ve loved the access to The Venus Vault! I will be adding more of my personal photo collection soon as well as some fun extras!

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Humiliation

” The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually?”

@RealCuckolding

This beautiful post is written by my friend @RealCuckolding on Twitter and it’s a subject that I feel many women struggle with so share this one with all of the women in your life – it’s that important! – Venus xo

This isn’t the blog entry I promised to write, but it’s the issue most on my mind lately. Partly, that is because it’s important and yet it’s something I sometimes let slide because I can be selfish. It’s important to remind ourselves what matters. We are incredibly lucky. My cuck and I live exactly the life we want. We have beautiful children, rewarding professions, are madly in love, and are living exactly the sexual lifestyle we prefer. I am a cuckoldress, free to fuck, date, and pursue whomever I chose, and he worships me for that freedom. He desires it for me and I lap it up with abandon. As content as we are, we endeavor to grow in our chosen sexual lifestyle. We began non-consensual non-monogamy, after all, to explore our desires together. We’ve been swingers, we dabbled in hotwifing, and now, 20 years into a happy marriage, have found ourselves here: cuckoldress and cuckold, still learning, still growing.

I say all of this to start because the place we still feel we have the most room to grow is when it comes to cuckolding is humiliation. I’ll admit that this was, and still is, the hardest part of the lifestyle to realize for my partner. This is partially because for most of our lives we are taught to coddle the male ego. They are virile, strong, masculine. Their cocks satisfy us deeply. We lie and say we only have eyes for our man and other drivel that demeans the honesty of our loving relationships. It was also difficult because I love my husband and telling him that his penis is sad, or that it’s been years since I’ve even remotely thought of it as satisfying, seems like it’s hurtful (though I think all those things regularly, more on that later). It’s also hard because we are wired differently. While I’m a highly sexual person, it’s not always at the forefront of my mind. We all live at the intersections of our lives, mother, wife, co-worker, sister, daughter, coach, friend – for each of us that list is different, but it’s there and it means we are never JUST a cuckoldress – even if that is a huge part of who we are.

I know from conversations with other cuckoldresses that humiliation can be a struggle. And as I said above, I sometimes share that struggle. It’s important that we understand, cucks too, that this is a legitimate emotional hurdle for most women. Especially true for those of us that don’t identify as a domme. But, I’ve learned my struggles are rooted in the guilt engrained in managing fragile masculinity. Ironic, because I have ZERO guilt about being the slut I am, yet guilt can linger when I am trying to honestly express feelings that are both true and arousing to my cuck. What I now realize, the magic element, the one that truly unlocks all of sexuality, and indeed my best cuckoldress, is consent. To say it directly: the humiliation my cuck desires is consensual. He wants it. He needs it. And what’s more, he needs it from me – his friend, partner, lover. Consent is about trust, and that is the root of cuckolding.

Humiliation for my cuck invests in me the trust to be a truly open, loving, and free partner. Conversely, it tells him that he is free to accept his desire to be a cuck and embrace all that it has to offer him.

My cuck is trusting me with the freedom to enjoy the full breadth of my sexuality. He trusts me to explore my attractions to other men without guilt or hesitation. It also allows me to share my most honest feelings about our relationship. I don’t have to pretend I am satisfied by him sexually, which allows us to grow and explore forms of intimacy that are ultimately more honest and fulfilling. Especially when I know they are feelings that excite him, there is never need lie to ourselves. It’s an incredible freedom to tell him, in a loving way, that he will never be my primary sexual partner ever again. It’s a fact. We are stronger for sharing it.

The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually? I’m afforded the same freedom in my life, even if the cocktail of emotions I feel are completely different. Anyone who has ever feared sharing a fantasy with a partner knows the power it gives someone over you. A glimpse into the hidden and dark corners of what makes you, you. It’s scary, sure, but when you are accepted and heard, it’s thrilling, and it completes you. The bond with that person is stronger for the sharing. It was when I realized that he needs to feel those emotions and loves me for them that it clicked: humiliation isn’t what’s hurtful – denying my cuck the same freedom to enjoy what he enjoys is.

In our cuckold marriage humiliation both is and is becoming a mutual and loving part of our lives. It doesn’t happen all at once. What a cuckoldress and a cuck get from this lifestyle are different, but they are mutually reinforcing. I’m not writing about how to humiliate your cuck. There are plenty of other blogs with amazing ideas for accomplishing that. What I’m hoping to convey is that the resistance to humiliate is a normal reservation that most of us have, or have had. You aren’t doing it wrong if you struggle. You aren’t a bad partner. If you’re listening, growing together, exploring, failing, trying again, learning something new – we call that being in a relationship.

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Women are the key to cuckolding

“I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.”

Venus

I recently spent some time in an online cuckold chat room and noticed some interesting things that got me thinking. The first was that I was the only woman on there and the second was a question that kept being brought up by the husbands/boyfriends was “How do I get my wife into this?”.

There was advice and suggestions being given out and the husbands would go through the list of strategies that they would say either hasn’t worked or that they didn’t think would work with their wife, most of which included them talking to her and trying to convince her to try flirting and sleeping with other guys.

Now for those of you who know a little about me you understand that it didn’t take any convincing for me to jump right in as soon as my boyfriend brought it up, so it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why a woman would hesitate when given this opportunity.  I tried hard to imagine what it was like for the wives/girlfriends out there whose husbands/boyfriends repeatedly try to approach the subject with them and it didn’t take long for me to assume that they would likely begin to feel annoyed, skeptical of their motives, or even hurt or offended by it.

The problem I think is that the pressure is coming from the men when really the conversation would be better received if it came from her friend – a woman who she trusts. I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.

As for how to connect women who are open minded enough to understand this lifestyle with women whose husbands need help, I don’t know the answer to that. I do believe however that all of the women who love this lifestyle need to start the discussions that need to take place. We need to help each other navigate the learning curve of this beautiful relationship dynamic. Write a blog, participate in chats, connect with women, talk to your open minded friends, whatever – let’s just support each other, because that’s what girlfriends are for.

Venus xo

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Converting those vanilla boys

“Then after a few weeks he asked me about the last time I fucked a black guy. I was surprised that he wanted to hear the details as I hadn’t mentioned anything about cuckolding.”

Venus

I’ve heard stories from cucks who have tried to bring their girlfriends or just women in general, into this lifestyle and they’ve all been largely unsuccessful. Many women just don’t grasp the concept or judge it harshly, or if they do try it they are likely just doing it for him and not because it’s part of who they are. For me, this lifestyle is who I am and I do it for me. That’s what I think the difference is between a successful cuck relationship and one that is not. That just my theory anyways, I know many people will disagree. 

But what would it be like for me to try to bring a “vanilla” guy into this? For a long time I just assumed it would never work so I’ve never tried. But recently I figured I might as well try it since I live in a seemingly cuckless city. So off to Tinder I went to try to seduce some vanilla boys and my oh my…was I in for a surprise! 

My first profile attempt was quite boring. I didn’t reference anything about cuckolding, just a little blurb about me being non-monogamous. I didn’t really have my hopes up that I would actually find anything on that shitty dating app. 

I matched with a guy and we started talking. He asked me what I want and I said I want you to be faithful and I want to sleep with lots of black guys and I want to be in charge in the bedroom. Surprisingly he said he liked that idea so we gave it a try. 

He lives in a different city anyways but is moving to Vancouver so for now things would be by distance. He mentioned he didn’t want to know about my experiences with black guys though and I was like whatever that’s fine for now. Then after a few weeks he asked me about the last time I fucked a black guy. I was surprised that he wanted to hear the details as I hadn’t mentioned anything about cuckolding. So I told him all about the two black guys I fucked the day before. He loved it. Then he asked if he could watch sometime. I was like WTF really??!! Hell yes! 

I was just amazed that without much influence from me, he was embracing the cuck role on his own and loving every minute of it. Could it really be this easy?

So that got me wondering and I decided to do a little more experimenting with Tinder. It was time to make another profile. 

My next profile is a veiled face pic and a pic of my queen of spades tattoo on my ankle, as well as the following text:

“I know exactly what I want and it’s probably not going to be you” #femdom #cucklife “if interested swipe up”

So nothing too scary – I don’t think anyways – but just enough to give some obvious hints as to what I’m looking for. I figured if they swipe up for a super like then I know they’ve at least read my profile and can follow instructions. 

Well it didn’t take long for my phone to light up with notifications. I couldn’t believe how many guys were genuinely interested and wanted to know more. 

Maybe this cuck wasteland I live in wasn’t actually a wasteland? Maybe my theory has been correct and they indeed are locked in the cuck closet and the closet is tinder! 

So now I have more (potential) cucks lined up than I have time to actually meet. Interesting spot to be in. Who knows if any of them will turn out to be what I want and if there is some sort of off the charts chemistry, and who knows how many of them like the idea of it but can’t do it for real, I don’t know, but it’s a start anyways. 
Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 3

“I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelievable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.”

Anne

Here’s part 3 of Jay’s series on what it’s like to be a cuck in the dating scene. For this one he has interviewed his friend Anne. Anne is a married QoS and cuckoldress living in the North West who’s been very gracious to discuss her lifestyle. This is what she has to say:

J: Thank you so much for doing this!

A: Of course!

J: So why don’t you say a bit about yourself. I know we’ve known each other for a while but pretend like we’ve just met haha.

A: Well I’m 37, live in the Pacific North West. I’ve been married for about ten years now to my loving husband. We currently do not have any children though we would like to have a child in the near future. Although being childless at the moment allows us to put a lot of time into our very hectic work life.

J: Awesome. So could you explain the relationship dynamic you share with your husband?

A: Well Tom and I are in a female led relationship and along with being my loving husband, he is also my cuckold. It is absolutely not your typical relationship haha.

J: Can you describe how the relationship developed?

A: Sure. So I met Tom in college. We shared the same major, had a lot of classes together. He was very cute, and I actually approached him first haha. We ended up dating for about a year or so, but I started to lose attraction to him. It was a bit of an odd feeling as I really liked him but just didn’t want to be physical with him. I didn’t know how to end it, and being a stupid 21 year old, I cheated on him with a guy on the football team. I felt terrible, but our football team was one of the best in the nation, and the football players were basically celebrities on campus. Every girl was swooning after them. They were also way more masculine than Tom, I mean you’ve seen football players, they’re quite the physical specimens haha. And a 21 year old girl with options can’t help herself around guys like that.

J: So you cheated, and then what?

A: Well we broke up. It was a mutual breakup, but I felt so bad for Tom and I decided to remain friends. In the meanwhile, I began to see guys on the football team more frequently. I was especially attracted to some of the black guys on the team. I went to an all girls catholic high school and lived in a sheltered suburb growing up, so part of it was a novelty thing. But they also had a certain confidence that I never saw in white guys, I guess you could say a swagger. I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelievable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.

J:Ahh so that’s when you got hooked! I had always wondered haha.

A: Yup! So after college I began to work at an ad agency. Quickly worked my way up the ladder, which is super tough as a woman in that industry just so you know. But I eventually became a mid-level VP. Didn’t have boyfriend but I was still in contact with Tom. One day Tom said he was looking for a new job and I told him we were hiring. So he applied, and ended up getting the job. His very first day after work he asks me on a date, and we ended up completely rekindling what we used to have. I was in love with him, but the sex was such a let down. Tom has a very thin below average penis and just could not come anywhere close to providing the same sensations as the black guys I was with. He’s also only a few inches taller than me and has a slim build, and I’m a bit of a thick gal so I need a tall muscular guy in order to really be pushed around how I like to be. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I asked if he would be open to swinging. He said yes, and I was thrilled because I could finally get my BBC fix haha.

J: So how do you get from that to where you are now?

A: Well Tom quickly picked up on my affinity for black guys haha. We began to experiment and he allowed me to invite one of my favorite swinging partners into our bedroom for a threesome. I believe that’s when Tom began to see his place. I mean I could tell by the look in Tom’s eyes, he was intimidated by the other guy. And I could see his stomach drop when he got a look at my partner’s massive BBC. But it was funny cause I noticed that I was actually turned on by Tom being intimidated. In the past I felt bad about telling Tom about his shortcomings, but now it seemed to be a turn on. Looking back on it, I guess it was only natural. I mean I was essentially Tom’s boss and earned way more than him, I’d strut around the office in heels and tower over him, despite me cheating on him and breaking his heart he still wanted to be friends with me. So after that night I began to start seeing other guys on my own without Tom, and that more or less was the start of our current relationship. We didn’t make some grand decision to have a female led relationship, it was just very clear to the both of us that I was in charge. By the time I decided to marry him, I knew that I needed two kinds of men in my life. A man who I loved and could control, and a man who could control me. So Tom was perfect.

J: Wow that is kind of amazing haha. So what’s the relationship like now?

A: Oh I just wanna say something because I don’t want to come off as a bitch to the Internet haha. But I don’t mean to say that Tom is less of a man! He’s very smart, loving, ambitious, and kind which is what a man should be. He’s not a good sexual partner and many women would agree with me, but he’s not less of a man.

J: Well thank you for clearing that up, so what’s the relationship like now?

A: Well we have incorporated more femdom aspects over time. He is almost always in chastity. He gets a handjob once every two months but that depends on his behavior. Sex is never an option. When we decide to have kids obviously we’ll have sex but outside of that he will forever be celibate. I know sounds harsh but Tom is accepting of this. Hmm what else, well we’ve done strapon play at times and Tom does get spanked if he screws up haha. Since we don’t have kids I normally have a bull over three times a week but sometimes I’m so busy that I’ll go a few weeks without any action except for Tom’s tongue, which thankfully is fantastic haha. Other than that, my close group of friends know everything about our relationship, but outside of that small group we appear as a typical loving couple.

J: Well that was incredible to hear! Thank you so much for your time!

Back to beginnings

“I believe that either you’re hardwired to be a cuck or not, and if it’s something you just want to try, it’s likely you are just into it for the erotic fantasy; kind of like role-playing a scenario or something like that.”

Venus

I’m back after a bit of a break from things and am happy to be writing again here. I lost someone close to me and it has taken a little while to get back on my feet again but I’m pretty much back to my usual self once again. Shit happens in life sometimes!

I’ve thought about a few things the past couple of months while away. One of them being how much I love hearing stories from cucks about that turning point when they first got cucked, or when they first found out that cuckolding was something that turned them on immensely and became a big part of their life. It’s that moment in time that I love to hear them talk about.

I’ve noticed that a common theme is that they were cheated on by their girlfriend when they were younger and at first they didn’t like it but then at some point the feelings of jealousy and insecurity mixed with feeling turned on by it and wanting more. From that point on it was something they struggled to understand why they liked it but there was no denying that they needed it in a relationship.

Most guys I’ve talked to have at that point in their life continued to date vanilla women and hoped that their girlfriend would cheat on them, or some guys were brave enough to outright ask them to. From what I’ve heard most vanilla women say no though.

For my first cuck it was a bit different. He told me that the first time he saw a wife being shared in porn, after that he was hooked on the idea of him being faithful and the woman being a total slut. He also struggled with trying to understand why he wanted that and why he liked that so much but it was definitely something in his life that he wanted and needed to be happy in a relationship.

It’s interesting that for all of them it was an abrupt life changing event and not something that they gradually became interested in. I think that must be why I’m weary of guys who want to date me because they are just curious about cuckolding. I believe that either you’re hardwired to be a cuck or not, and if it’s something you just want to try, it’s likely you are just into it for the erotic fantasy; kind of like role-playing a scenario or something like that.

How did you first know you were meant to be a cuck? Comment below. I’d love to know!

Dating as a Cuck – Part 1

“But what if you actually do meet a cuckoldress who’s interested in you and wants to date you? You better truly be a cuck, because if you’re in all of this to satisfy some fetish, it will never ever work out. If arousal is motivating you to date a cuckoldress, you’ll be sadly disappointed.”

Jay

You’ve all read about how difficult it’s been for me to find a good cuck boyfriend especially locally, so I decided to get some perspective on dating from a cuck friend of mine about what it’s like to try and find a cuckoldress in the dating world. I figure all of you cucks might enjoy reading about what he’s gone through and maybe relate to his experiences or learn a thing or two as well.

Jay is 27, lives in the Pacific Northwest, and had this to say about dating as a cuck:

“As a 27 year old cuck, attempting to date is a very daunting process. The pool of women who would even consider you is quite small, and if you don’t live in a major city, you might be completely out of luck. There’s an issue with age, as the many women looking for a cuck tend to be older. So if you’re looking for someone younger, or you find someone older and they’re looking for a cuck their age, then things become so much more difficult. You might have to rely on internet dating, and end up finding someone who’s perfect for you but lives hours away or perhaps on the other side of the country. And sometimes when all else fails, you might have to just settle for vanilla dating, and hope the other woman agrees to take on your lifestyle”

“But what if you actually do meet a cuckoldress who’s interested in you and wants to date you? You better truly be a cuck, because if you’re in all of this to satisfy some fetish, it will never ever work out. If arousal is motivating you to date a cuckoldress, you’ll be sadly disappointed. A cuckoldress wants her cuck to be happy and satisfied, but the last thing she could ever care about is your sexual satisfaction. If you actually do end up in a relationship, there’s a good chance she won’t want to have sex with you. There’s also a good chance she will never want to see your cock unless it’s locked up. As someone that has been in a few cuckold relationships, don’t even schedule that first date if you’re not prepared to accept the fact that your cock will be locked up as long as you are in that relationship. You better also try to understand what it’s like to truly be emasculated. She’s going to find men who are more handsome, more muscular, taller, and far more hung than you. They will sexually arouse your girlfriend more than you ever will, and they will give her more pleasure than you ever will. So before you even begin dating, there is a big decision you must make for yourself.”

 

To love your bull or not

“Each person has their own set of individual needs that need to be met on an ongoing basis and insecurities and miscommunication can lead to a breakdown and ultimately a collapse of the relationship.”

Venus

The most common question I receive from cucks who want to date me is “What kind of cuck relationship do you want?”. It seems like an obvious first question given the wide spectrum of practices and preferences within this type of relationship, and you’d think it would be easy to answer, but I’ve found my answers have changed and evolved as I’ve learned more and more about cuckolding dynamics. I’ve had to examine how I feel about various relationship compositions, roles, and expectations in order to figure out what I like and what I don’t like. Often times as with everything else in this lifestyle, I have to try something in order to see if I feel comfortable with it.

I suspect the most common cuck relationship is where the monogamous husband is sexually denied (sometimes or most of the time) while his non-monogamous wife sleeps with whoever she wants, usually strangers. The wife is not expected to develop feelings for her bulls – it’s simply a sexual experience for her. Usually the cuck is present when she is with her bulls and he may or may not be directly involved in the action in some way. While this kind of relationship is continually exciting, there are safety issues when meeting with only strangers all the time.

Another variation I’ve come across is where the wife has one bull whom she has a romantic relationship with as well as a sexual bond. She has a relationship with her cuck husband as well, but he’s there to give her emotional support, love, comfort, companionship, and financial stability. Often the cuck in this type of relationship wants the bull to live in the same house with them and the wife has the benefit of having two stable, loving, long term relationships.

As a cuckoldress, I have to decide what kind of relationship I want as well as what kind of humiliating things I want to practice on my cuck. With so many options and variations it can be a bit daunting at first to figure it all out.

I have had some experience with both types of cuck relationships and I feel comfortable with both scenarios. The first one is the easiest to maintain as you’re only dealing with a relationship dynamic between the husband and wife. The second scenario can be much more complicated. It starts to grow into a polyamorous type of relationship and with that comes all sorts of challenges. Each person has their own set of individual needs that need to be met on an ongoing basis and insecurities and miscommunication can lead to a breakdown and ultimately a collapse of the relationship. It’s not easy but if done correctly it can be very rewarding.

I get so excited when I hear about cuck couples who are succeeding and thriving with their relationship – whichever composition that might be – and I’d love to hear what has worked for you and why. Let me know! Leave a comment here or on my facebook page or twitter page. Thanks!

Venus xo

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Diving head first into cuckolding

“Eventually I made Ryan listen on the phone when I was with a guy. I was a bit nervous about it but obviously excited too. I wanted him to hear how much I loved what I was doing, and what was being done to me. I wanted to hear his voice and for me to whisper things to him.”

Venus

This is my story of how I got into the cuck lifestyle.

I had been involved in open relationships for several years and I knew that I wanted a non-monogamous relationship with someone however I wanted to have a lot of control over my own sexual freedom. I look back now and realize it was a cuck that I wanted but of course I didn’t know what that really was back then. Anyways back to my story….I was navigating the bland vanilla dating world (sigh) on Tinder, when I matched with this amazing guy who I will call…hmmm what will I call him….how about Ryan. Yes, Ryan.

I began to by telling Ryan how I had no intentions of being monogamous (something I would tell anyone who I considered dating) and he became quite interested in that. Over the next few days and weeks the flurry of exciting and intense conversations we had were all about me learning about his cuckolding fantasies and I admit I was quite wrapped up in it all. The more I learned about it, the more I loved it. I remember him saying “You’re going to get tired of me talking about it.” but actually I never did. I loved talking about it with him, I craved it, it turned me on in a way that I’d never experienced before.

He loved how I wanted to sleep with other men (while he was totally faithful to only me) and he encouraged that side of me. In fact he explained to me that being called a slut is a compliment – something I passionately agree with now. He would be so turned on when I told him about my sexual adventures and when I sent him pictures and videos, and I in turn got turned on by his reactions to it all. That sort of effect we had on each other was what made the relationship so intense, so magical, and so unique; I loved him deeply.

Eventually I made Ryan listen on the phone when I was with a guy. I was a bit nervous about it but obviously excited too. I wanted him to hear how much I loved what I was doing, and what was being done to me. I wanted to hear his voice and for me to whisper things to him. I wanted to tell him I loved him as I was on my knees in front of a huge cock. It was an incredible experience for me and it was all I could think about for the next several days – fucking amazing!

Ryan told me the next day that listening on the phone the night before actually made him trust me even more.  I’ve since heard someone say that “cheating is a betrayal of trust and cuckolding is an exploration of trust” and I would agree with that 100%. Cuckolding only enhanced our foundation of trust between each other and I think this kind of growth is something that a lot of people are unaware happens in these types of relationships.

Eventually things ended between him and I; Ryan’s work schedule took over his life and he no longer had the time needed for this kind of relationship and I had to move on, but I’m so grateful for him introducing me to this whole lifestyle that I’ve since completely immersed myself in. It really was the perfect beginning to this journey into the cuck world!

Venus xo

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