I am a cuckold

This post is written by my friend Rob @Rs40401 on Twitter. Feel free to contact him there with your comments.

Venus xo

Cuckold angst – once the flame is lit, it’s difficult to extinguish and the need for “more” begins.

Rob


In my case, I was in denial for a long time. In fact, my wife has been unknowingly cuckolding me for a long time. We still don’t have it figured out.

My new friend, cuckoldress Venus has been an invaluable addition to my life and has saved me countless hours of sleep. Yes, I had a hard time sleeping before and after talking with and being guided by her – my life has changed. She actually asked me to write this. She says that is not about the sex. She said the truth, about me, about my wife and was very open. She actually spoke to my wife on a couple occasions and said things to her that I’ve never been able to say or talk about. My wife opened up to Venus and told her the truth and she seemed more empowered because of their conversations.


We are still struggling and we don’t talk specifics yet. My wife has spent more time with her “friend” lately and even today as I write this she isn’t home. She had her first overnight this month and even though we don’t talk in detail, I know more now. We’ve not had sex for months now and I used to beg or wait forever – now, I don’t wait. I know it’s inevitable now. I’m a sexless cuckold.


I know my place. I’m a successful guy but I have a below average penis. I’m white, middle aged and slightly overweight. I’ve always had the same penis but was in denial for a seriously long time. I love my wife and in her way, she loves me.


Venus understands me in a way no one else does. She is straight honest and insightful. She can cut to the core, nothing is left to the imagination. The angst we feel is not easily described but unbending in its reality. I strain to have that truth from my wife. She is who I have deep feelings towards. She is the one giving her mind, body and soul to someone else. Miss Venus just guided me to the truth.


Slowly sinking…slowly accepting the truth, even though I’ve known for a long time, I cannot satisfy my wife. The conflict of knowing that truth and loving her means eventually it had to happen – that or we would drive ourselves crazy or hate each other. I love my wife and if that is true then I have to be okay with her being with other men. They are the ones who give her what she wants, needs, and deserves.


I accept it now.
I accept her, and myself, as I am.
I am a cuckold.

What makes a great bull

What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.

I was talking to a bull who I connected with recently about something that really got me thinking and inspired me to write. What is it that sets apart the good bulls from the really great bulls in this lifestyle?

People ask me all the time what I look for in a bull and I guess for the single cucks it’s just out of curiosity but for the couples I think there’s always this unending search to find a stable of the really great bulls and that’s not an easy task. The really great ones are few and far between.

For me I have a few things that are mandatory on the list like he has to be black (American black guys are my favourite), 9+inches and thick, and fuck like a champion, but what really makes the difference is the sexual chemistry and one more very important factor….I need to love his mind. I’m not alone in wanting that last one on the list. I’ve heard this from many cuckoldresses as well. What makes the difference is a solid level of mutual respect despite fucking me like I’m a slut – he needs to love and respect me and my lifestyle (all of it not just the cuckoldress part) and I have to care about him as one of my closest friends.

Sure sometimes I fuck a few new guys but the ones I keep around are the bulls who I consider to be my friends. I can talk to them about regular everyday things just as easily as getting into the most filthy of conversations about them blackfucking my pretty pussy or about me wanting their big black dick to slide down my throat, making my mascara run down. We can go months without seeing each other and there never be pressure or guilt about it, they know about each other and never have jealousy or possessiveness (actually they love it when I share pics and videos with them), and of course they love and respect how much I want and need cuckolding and BBC in my life.

There’s so much more to it than just physical attributes and liking to fuck and this is why I wish more women in this lifestyle would connect so that we can share our little black book of favourite bulls and therefore help celebrate the value of the really great bulls – they are priceless.

Venus xo

Humiliation

The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually?

This beautiful post is written by my friend @BBCslutncuck and it’s a subject that I feel many women struggle with so share this one with all of the women in your life – it’s that important! – Venus xo

This isn’t the blog entry I promised to write, but it’s the issue most on my mind lately. Partly, that is because it’s important and yet it’s something I sometimes let slide because I can be selfish. It’s important to remind ourselves what matters. We are incredibly lucky. My cuck and I live exactly the life we want. We have beautiful children, rewarding professions, are madly in love, and are living exactly the sexual lifestyle we prefer. I am a cuckoldress, free to fuck, date, and pursue whomever I chose, and he worships me for that freedom. He desires it for me and I lap it up with abandon. As content as we are, we endeavor to grow in our chosen sexual lifestyle. We began non-consensual non-monogamy, after all, to explore our desires together. We’ve been swingers, we dabbled in hotwifing, and now, 20 years into a happy marriage, have found ourselves here: cuckoldress and cuckold, still learning, still growing.

I say all of this to start because the place we still feel we have the most room to grow is when it comes to cuckolding is humiliation. I’ll admit that this was, and still is, the hardest part of the lifestyle to realize for my partner. This is partially because for most of our lives we are taught to coddle the male ego. They are virile, strong, masculine. Their cocks satisfy us deeply. We lie and say we only have eyes for our man and other drivel that demeans the honesty of our loving relationships. It was also difficult because I love my husband and telling him that his penis is sad, or that it’s been years since I’ve even remotely thought of it as satisfying, seems like it’s hurtful (though I think all those things regularly, more on that later). It’s also hard because we are wired differently. While I’m a highly sexual person, it’s not always at the forefront of my mind. We all live at the intersections of our lives, mother, wife, co-worker, sister, daughter, coach, friend – for each of us that list is different, but it’s there and it means we are never JUST a cuckoldress – even if that is a huge part of who we are.

I know from conversations with other cuckoldresses that humiliation can be a struggle. And as I said above, I sometimes share that struggle. It’s important that we understand, cucks too, that this is a legitimate emotional hurdle for most women. Especially true for those of us that don’t identify as a domme. But, I’ve learned my struggles are rooted in the guilt engrained in managing fragile masculinity. Ironic, because I have ZERO guilt about being the slut I am, yet guilt can linger when I am trying to honestly express feelings that are both true and arousing to my cuck. What I now realize, the magic element, the one that truly unlocks all of sexuality, and indeed my best cuckoldress, is consent. To say it directly: the humiliation my cuck desires is consensual. He wants it. He needs it. And what’s more, he needs it from me – his friend, partner, lover. Consent is about trust, and that is the root of cuckolding.

Humiliation for my cuck invests in me the trust to be a truly open, loving, and free partner. Conversely, it tells him that he is free to accept his desire to be a cuck and embrace all that it has to offer him.

My cuck is trusting me with the freedom to enjoy the full breadth of my sexuality. He trusts me to explore my attractions to other men without guilt or hesitation. It also allows me to share my most honest feelings about our relationship. I don’t have to pretend I am satisfied by him sexually, which allows us to grow and explore forms of intimacy that are ultimately more honest and fulfilling. Especially when I know they are feelings that excite him, there is never need lie to ourselves. It’s an incredible freedom to tell him, in a loving way, that he will never be my primary sexual partner ever again. It’s a fact. We are stronger for sharing it.

The flip side to this cuckolding psychology is that humiliation tells my cuck that I accept and love him for who he is. It validates the emotions that drive his sexuality. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. Jealousy. Devotion. Shame. Anticipation. Why would I ever deny the man I love the feelings that make him feel complete sexually? I’m afforded the same freedom in my life, even if the cocktail of emotions I feel are completely different. Anyone who has ever feared sharing a fantasy with a partner knows the power it gives someone over you. A glimpse into the hidden and dark corners of what makes you, you. It’s scary, sure, but when you are accepted and heard, it’s thrilling, and it completes you. The bond with that person is stronger for the sharing. It was when I realized that he needs to feel those emotions and loves me for them that it clicked: humiliation isn’t what’s hurtful – denying my cuck the same freedom to enjoy what he enjoys is.

In our cuckold marriage humiliation both is and is becoming a mutual and loving part of our lives. It doesn’t happen all at once. What a cuckoldress and a cuck get from this lifestyle are different, but they are mutually reinforcing. I’m not writing about how to humiliate your cuck. There are plenty of other blogs with amazing ideas for accomplishing that. What I’m hoping to convey is that the resistance to humiliate is a normal reservation that most of us have, or have had. You aren’t doing it wrong if you struggle. You aren’t a bad partner. If you’re listening, growing together, exploring, failing, trying again, learning something new – we call that being in a relationship.

10 lessons learned from a cuckoldress


Expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.

Venus

I’m such a huge fan of Dan Savage and his column ‘Savage Love’ and I’ve said many times that it’s because of his column that I’m who I am today so when I heard he was going to do a live show in Vancouver last weekend I gathered up my girlfriends for a fun night out.

He was taking questions from the audience and I and was lucky enough to have him answer one of mine “What advice would you give a single cuckoldress looking for a single cuck for a long term relationship?” His answer was totally on point and I realized, hey I already know all of that! It got me thinking…I really have learned a lot over the past 4 years in this lifestyle and if only back then I knew what I know now. Shit.

So here I am reflecting on all of the lessons I’ve learned and I’m sharing them so that other women might be able to learn from my experiences.

  1. A cuckolding relationship between two people who love each other in a committed long term relationship is mind-blowing, incredible, unique, complex and truly addictive. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s impossible to go back to any other kind of relationship. Expect to be hooked. This can be a blessing and a curse because it’s very hard to find.
  2. There are some really great people to meet in this lifestyle and from all over the world. New friends await and they are absolute gems.
  3. As a woman in this lifestyle, expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.
  4. Finding a good bull is not that easy. Finding guys to fuck is fucking whatever – they are everywhere – but finding a guy who you have that sexual chemistry with and who really appreciates and understands the role of a bull….that’s uncommon. Take your time and get recommendations from other women in the lifestyle. Sharing is caring.
  5. Be careful. There are crazy people out there – stalkers galore – so use caution and common sense when dealing with people you don’t know.
  6. Long distance relationships are difficult but probably inevitable if you’re trying to find someone to date. You’re going to have to look in other cities and consider relocating or finding someone to relocate to you. Be honest right in the beginning about what you’re looking for. It will save you from wasting time on the wrong person.
  7. Dating in this lifestyle is fucking brutal for both women and men. Expect to wade through the sea of shit that is online dating including the money hungry gold-digger women and the guys who just want to jerk off and flake out to the idea of you. Be prepared to be lied to – a lot – but try not to get pessimistic about it. Just get smarter about weeding out the idiots. They all seem to give off the same subtle hints when they are full of shit, you just get better at spotting them.
  8. Cuck fear is real and it will fuck things up. The shame/fear that some guys feel will make them flake out no matter how interested they seem or how badly they want this kind of relationship. Some would rather be alone in the cuck closet forever than face their fear and live the life that makes them feel fulfilled and true to themselves. Be prepared to be let down when you least expect it. It happens. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.
  9. There are three types of “single”guys in this lifestyle: married guys pretending to be single, single guys who just use it to consume porn and fantasies for jerk off material but who have no real intention of finding a relationship, and single guys who are genuinely looking for a cuckoldress to share their life with and who care about the lifestyle. Find out which one you’re dealing with.
  10. Don’t give up. Trust me it can be hard and I’ve given up many times but always came back to it because it’s who you are, what makes you happy, and what is meant for you. Take a break if you have to. Even if your heart hurts and you’re tired, lean on your friends and keep going. Beautiful things await. Don’t give up.

P.S. Black guys fuck better. Just saying.

P.P.S. Check out my latest podcast interview with the Casual Swingers Podcast: Cuck you! Exploring the world of cuckolds & hotwives with Cuckoldress Venus

Venus xo

The culture of men

For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine.

This post is written by my friend @UsefulBetaCuck on Twitter. It’s thought provoking, reflective, controversial, and in my opinion right on point.

Venus xo


In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us.

@UsefulBetaCuck

For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine. It’ll also cross the spectrum of their sexual identity; be they dominant, submissive, a bull, a cuck, whatever, the problem is universal.

If I could change one thing it would be the culture of men in general. A good portion of my thinking exists in the “old world” and those old souls among us feel like voices crying in the wilderness. Just leaving cuckolding aside for a minute, I value what I’ve made of myself as a man. If you met me, at least superficially, you would never guess that you were talking to a sexual submissive. I’m hard working, articulate, well read, well kept, in shape, active and even “alpha” in my community and work life.

But then I look around and what I see is little boys walking in grown men’s bodies. (And it’s not just the younger generation, millennials are simply products of their environment. So enough about millennials being the problem.) It’s really a problem of my generation and the one before me. It’s like they lost any semblance of reality. First sign of pain and they quit. First sign a woman is her own autonomous being and will not take their shit and they abandon. And I’m talking in the real world, online it’s simply set in overdrive.

In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us. For women it should be obvious, the price they’ve paid is the loss of their men. (If you want to test this, take away your man’s smart phone and see how he behaves. Does he suck it up or does he throw a tantrum?) And how do you box and sell manhood? You don’t. It’s the social mores of real masculinity in the culture that we’ve lost. The pessimistic side of me says we’ll never get it back, at least not with the current stock of men raising the next generation.

Now combine all this with a submissive male that’s addicted to porn and to jerking off and sees nothing more in a real life woman than another tool to achieve his next orgasm. It’s likely as high as 95% of all so-called cucks online who fall into this category. They want you to be a means to an end and not the end itself. This is where the problem and solution lies.

Women, there’s little chance your men will do this on their own but you have to require, to demand nothing less than your man actually be a man. No matter who he is, if he loves you he’ll know you are not just some insignificant object through which he vicariously gets off. This is one reason considering being a cuckoldress is such an empowering option. You make the rules, you set boundaries and you will be respected by a partner who’s not just a cuck, but a man.

Fuck him

For so long I had zero interest in pegging guys. I think in a way I thought there wouldn’t really be anything in it for me and I’m so selfish sexually that the thought of it being his sexual experience and not mine…well it turned me the fuck off. Little did I know I would soon love it.

Before I get into this post about my new-found love of pegging, let me begin by saying that I’ve just done a short follow up interview for the KinkyCast Podcast for their 5 year anniversary episode. Turns out, the interview I did with them previously was their most listened to episode – yay! Here’s the link to it: https://kinkycast.com/archive/2019-archive/261—five-year-anniversary.html

Also I’m happy to share a new article for the Spades Magazine. Here is the complete story of how I became a Queen of Spades: http://spadesmag.com/2019/02/the-beginning-for-a-qos-cuckoldress/

Lastly in case you missed the link in my previous post, here’s the article I wrote for Simplysxy about what it takes to be a cuckoldress: http://simplysxy.com/articles/2018/12/20/what-it-takes-to-be-a-cuckoldress/

Now onto the really exciting news about pegging…

For so long I had zero interest in pegging guys and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out exactly why. I think in a way I thought there wouldn’t really be anything in it for me and I’m so selfish sexually that the thought of it being his sexual experience and not mine…well it turned me the fuck off. So for ages I wanted nothing to do with it.

Then last summer I went out with a young cuck friend. We went for dinner and then to watch a football game (holy fuck the players are hotness) and after a few drinks we went back to his apartment. I had him locked in chastity as usual and he showed me the harness and attachment that he had just bought. Maybe it was the drinks mixed with curiosity, I don’t know, but I ended up trying it on and telling him I wanted to fuck his ass.

What happened next is hard to put into words. I want to say I was overcome with the power and control that came with being in that position, but really it was so much more than simply that. Something in me just took over and knew exactly what to do, say, push, and overpower him. I was at times gentle and sweet and other times strong and unforgiving, and the whole thing was incredible. It was a rush I had never had before – ever!

The next day I was just in amazement of how much I actually loved pegging. I wondered though, was it the alcohol? Was is the hot black football players I watched at the game that night that made me so excited? I wasn’t sure but I did know that I wanted to do it again.

Fast forward a couple months and I had a harness of my own (thanks to a friend of mine) and a small list of two more young white cuck friends who wanted me to pop their virgin ass cherry. I must admit I was a little nervous planning the second time around. This time I was totally sober and had everything planned beforehand so I wondered if I would love it the way I did the first time. Well well well….let me tell you… it was even better!!

So it’s official now I totally have a new-found love of pegging, and I’m really glad that I ended up going for it. For all of the women out there who are feeling like they hate the idea, take it from me, it’s really worth giving it a try!

Venus xo

The challenge of cuckold consistency

How do you finally “break” a cuck husband for good? Get him to fully commit, all in? I go back and forth in cuckolding with mine. I’ll have him very submissive for long periods on time but occasionally he kind of revolts and rebels and we have to work back into a “sub” place.— the716hotwife (@the716Hotwife) January 5, 2019

This was the post I read on Twitter that really caught my attention. I love these honest and real relationship questions being addressed in this lifestyle so I invited her to write more about that comment here on my blog. The following is what she had to say:

Venus xo

To start with a bit of background, my husband and I have been married 17 years and started exploring “open” dynamics about 4 years ago. After exploring a few different dynamics, we found that cuckolding is the most comfortable , appropriate and natural dynamic between us. It’s so obvious to see and feel that our relationship is best harmonized when I am confidently in my place as Dominant Cuckoldress and he is in his place as my submissive cuckold bitch. In this mode, everything feels in sync. We are both more content and less stressed. We are both kinder and more patient parents to our young children. We are both more productive in life and work. And of course, we are both getting our natural sexual needs fulfilled. Me enjoying intense and dirty nights with my Bull and him indulging in his filthy and degrading submissive desires.

But, unfortunately, these times of synchronicity don’t last. The chaos of life with children is relentless and the demands of work always press on and in this whirlwind of life we both drift and from our natural roles of Cuckoldress and cuck and slip into that dark, dreary and humdrum cliché of American married life. Pretty much unconnected and asexual. A place neither of wants to be but for which we both take responsibility.

It seems the more intense of our period of cuckolding, the more we withdraw from each other when it breaks. Like a boxing match where after the round we retreat to our separate corners to recuperate – me taking a deep breath and my husband taking stock in his masculinity.

My goal is to commit to this lifestyle all-in and 100%. I feel confident and secure in the fact that my cuck is my absolute and rightful property and that my sexuality is all mine to exploit and enjoy. It’s so clear to us that this is all natural and beautiful. But maintaining consistency is our challenge.

How do we go from “on and off” to “forever and always?” From enticing to absolution? How do we take this to the next level? Is it merely all about me being more strict and severe with chastity, discipline, and humiliation? Or is there something else we’re missing?

I’d like to hear about how couples have made this transition from dabbling with cuckolding to committing to cuckolding.

@the716Hotwife

Twitter: https://twitter.com/the716Hotwife 

Tumblr: http://the716hotwife.tumblr.com 

Women are the key to cuckolding

How do I get my wife into this? That’s the million dollar question. I believe that the key to women being receptive to considering a cuckolding kind of relationship dynamic, lies with women talking to each other about it.

I recently spent some time in an online cuckold chat room and noticed some interesting things that got me thinking. The first was that I was the only woman on there and the second was a question that kept being brought up by the husbands/boyfriends was “How do I get my wife into this?”.

There was advice and suggestions being given out and the husbands would go through the list of strategies that they would say either hasn’t worked or that they didn’t think would work with their wife, most of which included them talking to her and trying to convince her to try flirting and sleeping with other guys.

Now for those of you who know a little about me you understand that it didn’t take any convincing for me to jump right in as soon as my boyfriend brought it up, so it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why a woman would hesitate when given this opportunity.  I tried hard to imagine what it was like for the wives/girlfriends out there whose husbands/boyfriends repeatedly try to approach the subject with them and it didn’t take long for me to assume that they would likely begin to feel annoyed, skeptical of their motives, or even hurt or offended by it.

The problem I think is that the pressure is coming from the men when really the conversation would be better received if it came from her friend – a woman who she trusts. I really do believe that the key to women embracing this kind of relationship or at least viewing it as a legitimate option, lies with women talking to each other about it.

As for how to connect women who are open minded enough to understand this lifestyle with women whose husbands need help, I don’t know the answer to that. I do believe however that all of the women who love this lifestyle need to start the discussions that need to take place. We need to help each other navigate the learning curve of this beautiful relationship dynamic. Write a blog, participate in chats, connect with women, talk to your open minded friends, whatever – let’s just support each other, because that’s what girlfriends are for.

Venus xo

5 reasons why women should love cuckolding

A cuckold relationship is a beautiful and amazing dynamic and there are so many reasons why women should love and appreciate it. Here are the top 5.

  1. Next level love

It can be hard to imagine love on a whole other level but believe me when I say this kind of relationship is intoxicating, magical, and intense far beyond what you could ever cultivate in a vanilla relationship.

2. female sexual empowerment

Many women say cuckolding has increased their confidence level, sexual prowess, and ability to ask for exactly what they want. They feel more confident with their bodies and their sex appeal.

3. Trust

Initially it may be hard to believe but trust grows and flourishes in this kind of dynamic but cuckolding actually makes the trust stronger between both of you especially over time.

4. excitement

Let’s face it, all vanilla relationships get boring at some point. But with all of the sexual adventures and intimate moments found in this kind of dynamic it’s just not likely to lose the excitement. In fact over time it’s probably going to get even more fun.

5. Your happiness is his happiness

This is pretty much all about you. You are the center of his universe and he will do anything to keep you happy and that makes you love him even more. He has no interest in sex with other women and he just loves focusing entirely on you and your sexual adventures.

Venus xo

The separation between sex and love

What kind of woman is suited for the cuckoldress lifestyle? Aside from a high sex drive and sexual confidence, how does a woman have to think about sex and confidence to make this kind of relationship work? She needs to draw a line in the sand when it comes to sex and love.

First off let me say that I just got some mind blowing black dick and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world right now so I guess it’s making feel inspired to write.

One of the things I have thought a lot about is what exactly makes a woman right for this kind of lifestyle. Like who is this lifestyle best suited for?Besides having an above average sexual appetite and sense of sexual confidence, I feel like a woman needs to be really good at separating sex from love.

What I mean by that is most women automatically attach sex and love in their mind;  they feel like the emotions involved with sex translate into the feelings of love for the person. I’ve seen women struggle with this when it comes to trying non-monogamy because eventually things get complicated when someone catches feelings.

For me, I first began to really  see the line between sex and love when I was spending time in the swingers community. I realized that you could have a solid loving relationship and that sex with others is exactly just that – sex with others. It allowed me to look deeper into the idea of sex being something separate from love and the more I thought about it that way, the more I gave myself permission to really go for my fantasies and my desires.

It’s allowed me to  fully embrace cuckolding relationships knowing that I can have a beautiful loving and trusting relationship with my life partner and also have the most mind blowing sex with other men.

My cuck will have my heart and black men will have my body. I’m not saying that my cuck wouldn’t ever have intimate sexual experiences with me, I’m just saying that no one else would have my heart – just him.  He can feel assured that this kind of relationship dynamic is exactly suited to me and that I need and want him just as much as I need and want BBC.

Venus xo

The Venus Interviews

I’ve been a busy girl lately! One of the things I’ve been working on is recording a couple of interviews with the Keys and Anklets Podcast.

The first is one with Michael C interviewing myself and some of the things I go in depth about are how I came into this lifestyle and why I love it so much, how it has changed me, how and why I prefer black  bulls (yeah I got pretty excited talking about that), my favourite photo involving my QoS tattoo and chastity, and even a little about my heels collection (or lack thereof haha!). So here is the link to listen: https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/8

The second podcast episode is a conversation about dating in this lifestyle and in particular tips and advice for single cucks who are hoping to find a woman to share this unique relationship dynamic with. Have a listen: https://www.keysandanklets.com/episodes/9

Venus xo

Cuck fear

I’ve  been wanting to write about this for quite some time now; cuck fear. It’s real . It’s overwhelming. It paralyzes.

I’ve talked to hundreds of cucks over the past three years and I’ve noticed that the biggest fear most of them have is the risk of anyone find out about their cuck side. Aside from that I’ve noticed that they are also afraid that their wife/girlfriend will fall in love with a bull and leave them. Both of these are legitimate fears and I can totally understand why these would be a major area of concern but when it comes to the need for discretion and privacy, I have a few things to say about that.

I want cucks to stop worrying so much about people finding out. So many of them say they want everything to appear “normal” to everyone else and the cuckolding part be something “behind closed doors”.  When I ask why they all say things like it’s embarrassing for guys to be viewed as a cuck, they think they’ll lose their job or their friends, they will basically  lose respect from people who they care about. I totally get it – no one wants to go through that however I think the reality is actually much different from the fear.

I don’t necessarily want people to know everything about my personal life but I don’t want to live in fear of people finding out about who I am and I do not want to feel ashamed about who I am and my relationship dynamic. I am proud of who I am, how I’ve grown, how I know what I want, and most of all I’m passionate about cuckolding relationships. I’ve lived it and experienced it for the beautiful, incredible, and magical love that it is. Why would I be ashamed of that?

Sure guys might feel embarrassed about it and they tell me it’s different for guys because they face more backlash from people because guys are supposed to be the opposite of a cuckold – that’s society’s expectation of them. Yeah I understand that but really I think women get the brunt of the judgment from ignorant people. Slut shaming is everywhere and it’s relentless.  For a lot of women there’s nothing worse than being regarded as a slut or a whore.

What lots of cucks don’t realize is that open relationships are “out there” and accepted more than ever right now. Whether it be couples who swing, polyamorous couples, or one sided open relationships like cuckolding, people are way more open about it now than ever  before.  Just go on Tinder and see how many people are open about it on their profiles. Happy couples being open about who they are and it’s all okay – it’s a beautiful thing. Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.

I think by hiding in the cuck closet with the door firmly locked, we are making things worse. My hope is that people learn more about this relationship dynamic and ultimately understand it better and perhaps society will one day accept it as something that certainly is “outside of the box” but still a legitimately loving relationship where both people are happy and fulfilled.

What really  needs to happen is cucks needs to take some risks and just be proud of who they are. Baby steps and we will get there…

 

Venus xo

Cuckold Porn is Garbage

A few years ago when I was introduced to cuckolding by a new boyfriend I was lucky enough to not have watched any cuck porn prior to that. I say lucky because I think the vast majority of cuck porn out there is fucking garbage.

Still to this day I haven’t found any cuck porn that I like very much so I just mainly stick to interracial BBC content and at least that satisfies my Queen of Spades needs. It got me wondering though…why is cuck porn so awful? Why have porn companies done such a bad job with this one category?

Cuckolding (in my mind) is a complex emotional dynamic between two people who are in love and in a deeply committed relationship, and it’s nearly impossible to be able to translate that emotional exchange from the screen to the viewer using mainstream  porn.

Sure you can have the husband watching his wife get pounded by another man, but how boring is that for the viewer? So producers try to spice it up with the femdom aspect and use it to humiliate the husband overtly and cruelly – this story line dominates the cuckold videos online and that’s fine for those who love it but I think it misses the mark.

Then there are the many amateur videos online to kind of fill that void I guess and yes there are some fairly good ones out there but I haven’t found any that I really love either. I think the realness of the scene is appreciated by the viewers but still is missing something in the translation to the person watching who is trying to imagine being there, a part of it.

Then there are the cuckolding memes that dominate Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and all sorts of other places. These I’m sure are all made by guys who want to convey and share their desires and fantasies in this kind of lifestyle and I think it’s these memes that more accurately describe cuckolding than porn videos.  It’s usually just an image and a small piece of narrative attached to it but it’s powerful and triggers thoughts in motion, deep desires, and massive arousal.  Pretty much every  cuck who I’ve talked to has a little collection of favourites.  Funny enough someone once stole one of my Fetlife photos and made a meme with it and posted it somewhere and I didn’t know whether to be pissed off about it or flattered – seriously just ask permission first guys!

Anyways I’m always hoping that more women will come to understand and appreciate this kind of relationship and unfortunately I think cuckold porn isn’t helping with that. In fact I think it’s a deterrent.

 

Venus xo

 

The natural progression of a cuckoldress

Do women naturally become more cruel and selfish and men more submissive and eager to please?

Recently I read my very first blog post ‘what the fuck is cuckolding’ which I wrote almost 2  years ago and what stood out for me was where I spoke about humiliation. At that time, while starting out my adventures in cuckolding, I felt interested in the humiliation aspect of cuckolding but only as long as I didn’t feel overtly cruel about it. I also wasn’t interested in male chastity at the time. I basically understood nothing about what its purpose was.

Fast forward two years and I’ve evolved into a cuckoldress who loves dishing out humiliation and is addicted to keyholding. I’ve become more self centered, less patient, and more demanding with what I want. This seemingly effortless transition got me wondering….is this a common natural progression for all cuckoldresses?

Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time. I should mention that I haven’t really done much research at all about cuckolding. I haven’t read any other blogs or talked with other cuckoldresses so I basically have only my own experiences to go by and that leaves me wondering about what it’s like for other women like me.

I think that for women who were born for this kind of relationship, they enjoy the attention, sexual superiority and empowerment that this lifestyle gives them. It gives her permission to set the bar high and insist that he exceed it for her. And for men who are hardwired to be a cuck, the trust and commitment in this kind of relationship allows them to feel safe to submit to her and to want to live their own sex life strictly through hers. It’s a beautiful gift and the key to all of this working is of course love and trust.

So what do you think? Is there any truth in this? I welcome your comments.

 

Venus xo

 

The voice of Venus

Hear the Venus story on podcast – cuckolding, Queen of Spades, BBC

A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a podcast on the subject of cuckolding. Today it aired on www.kinkycast.com

For all of my readers who would like to listen to my story, here is the link: http://kinkycast.com/archive/2017-archive/202—venus-queen—looking.html

Venus xo

Converting those vanilla boys

I’ve heard stories from cucks who have tried to bring their girlfriends or just women in general, into this lifestyle and they’ve all been largely unsuccessful. Many women just don’t grasp the concept or judge it harshly, or if they do try it they are likely just doing it for him and not because it’s part of who they are. For me, this lifestyle is who I am and I do it for me. That’s what I think the difference is between a successful cuck relationship and one that is not. That just my theory anyways, I know many people will disagree. 

But what would it be like for me to try to bring a “vanilla” guy into this? For a long time I just assumed it would never work so I’ve never tried. But recently I figured I might as well try it since I live in a seemingly cuckless city. So off to Tinder I went to try to seduce some vanilla boys and my oh my…was I in for a surprise! 

My first profile attempt was quite boring. I didn’t reference anything about cuckolding, just a little blurb about me being non-monogamous. I didn’t really have my hopes up that I would actually find anything on that shitty dating app. 

I matched with a guy and we started talking. He asked me what I want and I said I want you to be faithful and I want to sleep with lots of black guys and I want to be in charge in the bedroom. Surprisingly he said he liked that idea so we gave it a try. 

He lives in a different city anyways but is moving to Vancouver so for now things would be by distance. He mentioned he didn’t want to know about my experiences with black guys though and I was like whatever that’s fine for now. Then after a few weeks he asked me about the last time I fucked a black guy. I was surprised that he wanted to hear the details as I hadn’t mentioned anything about cuckolding. So I told him all about the two black guys I fucked the day before. He loved it. Then he asked if he could watch sometime. I was like WTF really??!! Hell yes! 

I was just amazed that without much influence from me, he was embracing the cuck role on his own and loving every minute of it. Could it really be this easy?

So that got me wondering and I decided to do a little more experimenting with Tinder. It was time to make another profile. 

My next profile is a veiled face pic and a pic of my queen of spades tattoo on my ankle, as well as the following text:

“I know exactly what I want and it’s probably not going to be you” #femdom #cucklife “if interested swipe up”

So nothing too scary – I don’t think anyways – but just enough to give some obvious hints as to what I’m looking for. I figured if they swipe up for a super like then I know they’ve at least read my profile and can follow instructions. 

Well it didn’t take long for my phone to light up with notifications. I couldn’t believe how many guys were genuinely interested and wanted to know more. 

Maybe this cuck wasteland I live in wasn’t actually a wasteland? Maybe my theory has been correct and they indeed are locked in the cuck closet and the closet is tinder! 

So now I have more (potential) cucks lined up than I have time to actually meet. Interesting spot to be in. Who knows if any of them will turn out to be what I want and if there is some sort of off the charts chemistry, and who knows how many of them like the idea of it but can’t do it for real, I don’t know, but it’s a start anyways. 
Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 3

Here’s part 3 of Jay’s series on what it’s like to be a cuck in the dating scene. For this one he has interviewed his friend Anne. Anne is a married QoS and cuckoldress living in the North West who’s been very gracious to discuss her lifestyle. This is what she has to say:

J: Thank you so much for doing this!

A: Of course!

J: So why don’t you say a bit about yourself. I know we’ve known each other for a while but pretend like we’ve just met haha.

A: Well I’m 37, live in the Pacific North West. I’ve been married for about ten years now to my loving husband. We currently do not have any children though we would like to have a child in the near future. Although being childless at the moment allows us to put a lot of time into our very hectic work life.

J: Awesome. So could you explain the relationship dynamic you share with your husband?

A: Well Tom and I are in a female led relationship and along with being my loving husband, he is also my cuckold. It is absolutely not your typical relationship haha.

J: Can you describe how the relationship developed?

A: Sure. So I met Tom in college. We shared the same major, had a lot of classes together. He was very cute, and I actually approached him first haha. We ended up dating for about a year or so, but I started to lose attraction to him. It was a bit of an odd feeling as I really liked him but just didn’t want to be physical with him. I didn’t know how to end it, and being a stupid 21 year old, I cheated on him with a guy on the football team. I felt terrible, but our football team was one of the best in the nation, and the football players were basically celebrities on campus. Every girl was swooning after them. They were also way more masculine than Tom, I mean you’ve seen football players, they’re quite the physical specimens haha. And a 21 year old girl with options can’t help herself around guys like that.

J: So you cheated, and then what?

A: Well we broke up. It was a mutual breakup, but I felt so bad for Tom and I decided to remain friends. In the meanwhile, I began to see guys on the football team more frequently. I was especially attracted to some of the black guys on the team. I went to an all girls catholic high school and lived in a sheltered suburb growing up, so part of it was a novelty thing. But they also had a certain confidence that I never saw in white guys, I guess you could say a swagger. I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelieveable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.

J:Ahh so that’s when you got hooked! I had always wondered haha.

A: Yup! So after college I began to work at an ad agency. Quickly worked my way up the ladder, which is super tough as a woman in that industry just so you know. But I eventually became a mid-level VP. Didn’t have boyfriend but I was still in contact with Tom. One day Tom said he was looking for a new job and I told him we were hiring. So he applied, and ended up getting the job. His very first day after work he asks me on a date, and we ended up completely rekindling what we used to have. I was in love with him, but the sex was such a let down. Tom has a very thin below average penis and just could not come anywhere close to providing the same sensations as the black guys I was with. He’s also only a few inches taller than me and has a slim build, and I’m a bit of a thick gal so I need a tall muscular guy in order to really be pushed around how I like to be. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I asked if he would be open to swinging. He said yes, and I was thrilled because I could finally get my BBC fix haha.

J: So how do you get from that to where you are now?

A: Well Tom quickly picked up on my affinity for black guys haha. We began to experiment and he allowed me to invite one of my favorite swinging partners into our bedroom for a threesome. I believe that’s when Tom began to see his place. I mean I could tell by the look in Tom’s eyes, he was intimidated by the other guy. And I could see his stomach drop when he got a look at my partner’s massive BBC. But it was funny cause I noticed that I was actually turned on by Tom being intimidated. In the past I felt bad about telling Tom about his shortcomings, but now it seemed to be a turn on. Looking back on it, I guess it was only natural. I mean I was essentially Tom’s boss and earned way more than him, I’d strut around the office in heels and tower over him, despite me cheating on him and breaking his heart he still wanted to be friends with me. So after that night I began to start seeing other guys on my own without Tom, and that more or less was the start of our current relationship. We didn’t make some grand decision to have a female led relationship, it was just very clear to the both of us that I was in charge. By the time I decided to marry him, I knew that I needed two kinds of men in my life. A man who I loved and could control, and a man who could control me. So Tom was perfect.

J: Wow that is kind of amazing haha. So what’s the relationship like now?

A: Oh I just wanna say something because I don’t want to come off as a bitch to the Internet haha. But I don’t mean to say that Tom is less of a man! He’s very smart, loving, ambitious, and kind which is what a man should be. He’s not a good sexual partner and many women would agree with me, but he’s not less of a man.

J: Well thank you for clearing that up, so what’s the relationship like now?

A: Well we have incorporated more femdom aspects over time. He is almost always in chastity. He gets a handjob once every two months but that depends on his behavior. Sex is never an option. When we decide to have kids obviously we’ll have sex but outside of that he will forever be celibate. I know sounds harsh but Tom is accepting of this. Hmm what else, well we’ve done strapon play at times and Tom does get spanked if he screws up haha. Since we don’t have kids I normally have a bull over three times a week but sometimes I’m so busy that I’ll go a few weeks without any action except for Tom’s tongue, which thankfully is fantastic haha. Other than that, my close group of friends know everything about our relationship, but outside of that small group we appear as a typical loving couple.

J: Well that was incredible to hear! Thank you so much for your time!

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

Here it is, the sequel to my friend Jay’s post Dating as a Cuck – Part 1. I absolutely love what he’s written, especially the last part about asking yourself that important question…. Enjoy!

Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

In my last post, I discussed the hard truths that one must come to terms with before beginning a relationship with a cuckoldress. If you’ve truly done the proper introspective work and decided that you are prepared, you’ve only begun half the necessary work.

In this post, I will discuss an important next step towards having a successful cuckold relationship. It is the process of dissociating yourself from your penis. This is actually something that all men should work on, but cuckolds especially.

You, the first time cuck, have gone nearly your entire life with the interests of your penis somewhere on your priority list. When you tried to sit next to that pretty girl in class, or when you caught yourself checking out your co-worker with the nice butt, or when you compulsively scrolled through dating apps, your penis was guiding your actions.

Now at a fundamental level, this is only natural. We men are hard wired to mate as often as possible with a wide range of mates. But we are no longer cavemen, and in order to be an attractive cuck you must stop thinking with your dick. One main reason, as was stated in the last post, is that as a cuck, your gf or wife simply Does. Not. Care. About your dick. When she imagines being intimate or romantic with you, your dick never enters her thoughts. She thinks about dicks that are much longer, thicker, last longer, and get harder than yours. But as a cuck your dick never enters your partner’s mind, so don’t let it enter yours either.

The other reason, is that separating yourself from your dick will actually make you a better person. There are numerous studies that demonstrate the positive effects of abstaining from masturbation. These include raised testosterone levels, increased productivity, increased mood, increased levels of motivation. These are things that any man should want! Stopping masturbation will also stop you from watching porn, which is terrible behavior for a cuck and creates an innacurate depiction of the cuckold lifestyle and women in general. So overall, you will become a better person in general.

So how do you do this? Of course its easier to talk about than actually doing it, but there are many methods and tricks to begin separating yourself from your dick. The easiest method is chastity. Talk to your partner about the need for chastity if they have not already. I recommend ordering a custom cage that will fit you properly. A proper fit should feel snug when you’re completely flaccid, you should not be able to achieve an erection of any kind while locked up.

Ceasing masturbation and porn viewing is another method. Porn often triggers masturbation, so abstaining from adult websites can immensely improve your ability to separate yourself from your dick. The last method, is pure willpower. Really think about how badly you want to be a cuck, and how great your life will be improved with a cuckoldress in it. Think about that every time you get the urge to touch yourself.

This is one of the most fundamental steps to becoming a true cuck, and there’s an easy test to give yourself to figure out if you’re closer to becoming that ideal cuck. When you think about cuckolding, do you become aroused and get the urge to touch yourself? Or do you get a rush of warm emotions, and think about sharing a special powerful bond with your loved one? Be honest with yourself, and do the proper work to become a better boyfriend, cuck, and overall person.

Jay

The answer to the question that all cucks ask me

What kind of cuck do you want? This is the most difficult thing to try to answer. It’s not really something that I can sum up in a paragraph or two. It’s not easy to define and articulate yet I’m constantly having to try to do so. So for those of you who want to know, here’s my best effort:

Like I’ve mentioned on here before, there is a wide spectrum of practices in cuck relationships. All of them involve a sexually unfaithful girlfriend or wife, a totally faithful boyfriend or husband, and a loving and committed long term relationship.

In my mind, each end of the spectrum is a polar opposite and there is everything else in the middle. One end is what I call “hotwifing” (this is only my own definition and other people may see it differently) and the other end is what I would think of as total sexual denial, sexual humiliation, slavery and chastity.

I see hotwifing as a couple who already have a robust sex life together, are each seen as equals in the relationship, and there is very little humiliating kinds of practices such as making him watch or rubbing it in his face afterwards. She is just allowed to sleep with others and he prefers not to. Everything else in the relationship is pretty vanilla.

On the other end, it’s quite different. She controls the relationship and she is always in charge, he is often or always sexually denied and likely put in chastity, emasculated, feminized, while she enjoys all of the sexual partners that she wants, and she they both very much enjoy the humiliating things she would do to him.

As for me, I am somewhere in the middle. I know that hotwifing doesn’t appeal to me and I think it’s because I enjoy the power imbalance of a female led relationship rather than an equal power relationship. I also don’t want a cuckold slave or “sissy” beta kind of guy. That just doesn’t do anything for me at all.

As for sexual denial, I do like denying my cuck to varying degrees. To me, it doesn’t really matter to me if I fuck my cuck or not. I’m always going to be sexually satisfied from other more capable men. Obviously I’m not going to ‘want’ my cuck in the traditional sexual way, however things I would enjoy would be giving him sloppy seconds and rubbing his face all over my pussy after – and he has to be okay with that. It’s doing those things that turns me on, because I like how much it turns him on, but it would turn me off if he asked for it or demanded it.

Just like any other relationship, I need to be physically attracted to my cuck and enjoy spending time with him. It’s not just about cuckolding. I need love and connection; there’s always caring and trust that goes along with that, despite the power imbalance. Although I’m greedy sexually, my cuck is always the most important person in my life and I always want him to be happy as well.

I’ve come to learn that it turns me off when a guy approaches me with his list of wants and needs. I understand why, but it just doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve had conversations with guys who mention the words “I want” and “I need” a hundred times over again and I don’t know why but I hate that. I really don’t care about what you want – I want you to trust that I will do what’s best for both of us and we’ll have the most incredible experiences. If that makes sense…

I have expecations of my cuck (some say those expectations are high – I disagree) and I don’t tolerate any shit behavior from him. I expect him to make quite an effort in pursuing me, dating me, and forever after that.  Some examples of this are saying good morning to me every day (unbelievable how many guys find this difficult…), showing up with a small gift on the first date, anticipating my needs and wants, and doing all of those little things everyday that make me happy (lovely little messages, carrying my bags for me, opening the door for me, paying for things, making me dinner, kissing my toes, gifts for no particular reason…the list goes on). This seems to be a lost art form. I’ve found that a lot of guys are lazy, inconsiderate, and accustomed to getting results without little to no effort. Ladies…don’t put up with this shit -raise the fucking bar already. Guys, please read my post about how to catch a goddess – take notes for fucks sakes.

Well that’s all I can think of right now. I may add to this as I think of things later…

 

*for those of you who noticed, yes I did delete my previous post

Back to beginnings

I’m back after a bit of a break from things and am happy to be writing again here. I lost someone close to me and it has taken a little while to get back on my feet again but I’m pretty much back to my usual self once again. Shit happens in life sometimes!

I’ve thought about a few things the past couple of months while away. One of them being how much I love hearing stories from cucks about that turning point when they first got cucked, or when they first found out that cuckolding was something that turned them on immensely and became a big part of their life. It’s that moment in time that I love to hear them talk about.

I’ve noticed that a common theme is that they were cheated on by their girlfriend when they were younger and at first they didn’t like it but then at some point the feelings of jealousy and insecurity mixed with feeling turned on by it and wanting more. From that point on it was something they struggled to understand why they liked it but there was no denying that they needed it in a relationship.

Most guys I’ve talked to have at that point in their life continued to date vanilla women and hoped that their girlfriend would cheat on them, or some guys were brave enough to outright ask them to. From what I’ve heard most vanilla women say no though.

For my first cuck it was a bit different. He told me that the first time he saw a wife being shared in porn, after that he was hooked on the idea of him being faithful and the woman being a total slut. He also struggled with trying to understand why he wanted that and why he liked that so much but it was definitely something in his life that he wanted and needed to be happy in a relationship.

It’s interesting that for all of them it was an abrupt life changing event and not something that they gradually became interested in. I think that must be why I’m weary of guys who want to date me because they are just curious about cuckolding. I believe that either you’re hardwired to be a cuck or not, and if it’s something you just want to try, it’s likely you are just into it for the erotic fantasy; kind of like role-playing a scenario or something like that.

How did you first know you were meant to be a cuck? Comment below. I’d love to know!