[Guest Post] Managing New Relationship Energy (NRE)

When you have chemistry and connection with a new partner your brain is flooded with many hormones that make you feel exceptionally good. Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin – the body’s love and reward molecules. Intense sexual arousal and all that increasing testosterone will drive you to want to explore and enjoy each other. This is of course more complicated in a cuckold relationship and requires tending and understanding to avoid challenges. NRE doesn’t stay only between the female and her bull. If done right it spills over to the cuckold and enhances the primary relationship. The magic of this spillover effect is what makes cuckolding so much fun. The cuck and his wife get to experience the NRE of meeting a new lover together. Having open communication and keeping the cuck part of the new relationship keeps that primary connection strong. Taking a new bull will enhance that connection.

For sex to be that next level great my wife needs chemistry and connection. Yes fucking some hot guy on vacation can be fun but building something with more depth will result in better and more adventurous sex. She very much prefers to find her own lovers. I’m not part of that process up until the point she lets me know she has found someone that she wants to pursue sexually. We openly talk about the potential bull. Safety. Discretion. Risks. Rewards. Really from her first thinking about a new lover her hormones change. She’s more in touch with her body. She has more energy. Her mood is elevated. Once we’ve chatted and she has decided to pursue her new potential the NRE starts to build. Once he’s expressed his eagerness to proceed it jumps 10 fold. My hormones have also changed at this point. I am as excited if not more excited than her. We have more sex. We fantasize more together. We play more sexual games like denial, edging, teasing, even chastity. She will always have a first and second date without sex – to see if there is chemistry. It also helps the build up for the bull. His hormones are building and making him feel lust and attraction too. Bulls consistently tell her that knowing she is married in this type of relationship is a huge boost to their drive. They want to prove their sexual prowess even more than in a monogamous relationship. It’s different. Sexy. Primal.

Planning that third date is always amazing. NRE is in full force. I make a point of always buying her new sexy lingerie. Something her bull will get to enjoy taking off of her before me. She makes a point of teasing and denying me for the week before she fucks a new lover. This builds both our testosterone levels and dramatically improves energy and desire. By the time it’s date night I’m always bursting with lust and love for my wife. Knowing she is giving me this beautiful gift of fulfilling her sexual needs while simultaneously fulfilling mine. The denial creates so much desire which in turn buffers some of the feelings of angst. Staying connected as she gets ready for her date is important. I feel and see the lust she has for this new usually younger stronger bigger man. It doesn’t make me feel at all inferior. I feel pride that I have the closeness with my wife to share something as intimate as cuckolding with her. And then she’s off to enjoy her date.

Connecting after that first sexual experience with a new bull is essential. Sharing some details of their sex brings the cuck in to the experience. My wife knows exactly how to do this that works for our dynamic. “Can you massage my thighs? He had my legs spread so wide they are really sore.” “Can you rub my feet, I had my high heels on most of the night.” “Can you gently finger my pussy and lick my clit. He fucked me so hard I’m sore but I need to cum again while I tell you where he blew his load.” Falling asleep with my arms wrapped around her, feeling her sexual satisfaction, gives such a sense of closeness and intimacy. Here the love of my life has enjoyed herself fully to then return to my arms to rest and feel safe. Why shouldn’t this amazing wife, mother, and lover enjoy all that life has to offer her.

As the relationship with her bull develops she is flooded with all those good hormones. Her sex drive is through the roof and it’s already starting on a high floor. She usually manages to get together with him 2 to 3 times a week. We are enjoying some sexual experience together almost daily. This doesn’t necessarily mean penetrative sex. Maybe I’m being denied and just getting her off. Once a solid trust is developed with her bull things move to that new level of him unloading inside of her. This throws our hormones in to overdrive. Knowing she is going to be coming home filled with cum from a new lover for the first time is a massive turn on for both of us. I’m usually walking around hard for days in anticipation. She often just tells me in a casual way because she knows it drives me crazy. “I got groceries on my way home. Oh and I’m going to let ___ cum inside of me this Friday night.” The key here is that we are staying connected in a playful way. We are enjoying the NRE together.

After she’s built a solid connection with her bull the two of them get to a point they aren’t just comfortable with being watched but actually want it. Having him over for dinner, watching their chemistry, their touching, their nuances of how they connect is highly intimate for us both. Watching them in bed is next level intimate. That primal sexual need they have to fuck each other. Watching them make each other orgasm. Every lover I’ve watched her fuck teaches me new things about my wife. I can feel their energy. Sometimes I’ll be right there joining in. Giving her that dual penetration feeling she loves. Licking her clit while he fucks her. Cleaning her up seconds after he’s filled her with his orgasm. Things that create such closeness and amazing NRE.

Cuckolding can be an incredible dynamic. Communication is paramount and requires trust, honesty, and truthful disclosure. Staying connected and making sure all three are involved, albeit in different ways, makes for a feeling of fulfillment and a hormone saturate experience. Make sure that NRE is on the table for everyone to enjoy. Otherwise jealousy and negative feelings take over. The opposite feelings of love, lust, and compersion are much better to enjoy.

About the author

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.

How Natural Is Monogamy?

Western society treats monogamous marriage as the default relationship style for humanity. For thousands of years, the fantasy of the prince and princess, nuclear family has proliferated. Shame, humiliation, and social ostracism have been used as weapons of control for those who don’t easily align to the “norm”. The reality is, Monogamy is far less normal or natural for humans than most want you to believe.

History and our biology suggest that the estimated 55% of adults to admit to infidelity are simply the more honest among us. Eurasian patriarchal imperialism has conditioned us to ignore the anthropological and biological evidence even while our bodies and minds are driving us to notice attractive potential mates.

Anthropology Meets Biology

Looking at this from an anthropological point of view, per studies, just 9 percent of mammals are monogamous. Among primates, humanity’s closest relative, just 29 percent are. Before Western imperialism, just 16 percent of indigenous human societies were monogamous. 84 percent of ancient societies included acceptance and normalized non-monogamy.

From a biological standpoint, research suggests that the penis evolved in its shape to act as a “semen displacement device” built to displace other men’s semen. The phenotype only confers an evolutionary advantage in a non-monogamous culture. Simply put, if a woman is only sleeping with one man, then there is no advantage to semen displacement. In fact, quite the opposite. The shape of the penis itself indicates non-monogamy in our species.

An academic team from the State University of New York theorizes that the thrust of the penis during sex may help to clear a woman’s reproductive system of a previous lover’s semen. Not all animals have sex the way humans do, with a thrusting motion in and out. The primary benefits of the thrust come down to increasing pleasure for both partners and, according to research, displacing competitor sperm.

Stamina variations in men, likewise, indicate that monogamy is not our default state. Think about this for a moment. If humans were genuinely monogamous, what is the evolutionary advantage to having sex for 30 minutes before ejaculation? How would it confer an advantage over 2 minutes? Simply put, it would not confer an advantage in a monogamous couple.

But now consider a non-monogamous culture. If the male knows that he is competing with other males, the longer he can thrust with his specialized-shaped penis, the more competing sperm he can displace before depositing his own. This creates an evolutionary advantage.

So then why wouldn’t all men evolve to be marathon men? Well, let’s look at it from a different perspective. In most highly social mammalian cultures that are not monogamous, you have a hierarchy of males from Alpha to Betas and beyond. For the Alpha male, who has no threat to be chased off or attacked while having sex, the advantage is to last as long as possible.

For the betas, however, it’s a totally different story. The best chance at procreating is to get in and get out, depositing his semen as quickly as possible, before being chased off by another competing male. Lasting 30minutes is an evolutionary dead-end for a non-alpha male.

Culture is King

Stepping back from the dry biology and anthropology, let’s look at the sociological side. How did we get from 16% monogamy to a society that stigmatizes anyone who does not practice pair bonding?

The Alpha/Beta dynamics are instructive. Until 6000yrs ago or so, humans were primarily hunter-gatherers. Nomadic in Europe mostly following the roaming herds of animals, with more available local flora and fauna in Asia and Africa. As our societies have evolved from a world of emperors, kings, and dictators, we see that monogamy becomes an attractive feature for culture aligned to a more egalitarian form. Just as the New Deal promised a chicken in every pot, I think societies have evolved to deal with the single male problem by promoting a one woman, one man culture.

As humans evolved from hunter-gatherer societies to agrarian settlements, concepts of ownership and property began to form. We think of property as a fundamental aspect of humanity, but in reality, there was no need for ownership of land or another person prior to humanity settling down in one place. As humans started to work the land and cultivate crops, they needed to protect those efforts and labors by ensuring that no one else came at harvest time and just took the crops.

As this dynamic started to settle in, it was a slippery slope into ownership of property, tools, and eventually people. As humans became more and more specialized in the crops they raised or the type of animals they raised, they needed to create economic systems to trade their surpluses for other staples needed in everyday life. So a person with milk cows trades with a wheat farmer.

Around this time, surpluses became crucial, and labor was the primary constraint to creating surpluses in society. There were two primary mechanisms in a pre-currency world to acquire labor. 1. Family 2. Subjugation and Slavery. Those who preferred option 2 created the modern imperialism that has created the concept of the nation-state. Those who preferred building family needed to ensure that they could reliably count on building a labor force of familial kin. Enter the concept of Monogamy, roughly 6000yrs ago or so….

Size As A Sign

And an argument could be made that penis size is also evidence of variations in patriarchal control of female sexuality. This may be controversial, but consider the lack of evolutionary advantage of a larger penis in a society where women were treated as property. Penis size as a sexual selection trait evaporates in those societies such as Europe and Asia which are highly patriarchal.

In other societies, where women were free to choose their partners, there is evidence that penis size has grown over millions of years to far larger than any other primate species. Sexual selection is a powerfully compounding force in nature, resulting in bright plumage in birds, for example. But it also manifests in many other aspects with a limited functional purpose other than attractiveness to a mate.

If you are monogamous, this is not intended to tell you that you are wrong. But if you have long felt the draw to others and felt shame for not feeling like it was ok to be attracted to others, just know that you are not the weirdo. Society moved in a weird way over time.

As the imperial age has slowly been winding to a close, and humanity becomes more egalitarian and less patriarchal, can we expect to see non-monogamy make a comeback? I would say we are well into that correction already.

Some would say society is breaking down, but a real case can be made that we are swinging back to our more natural state. And for those on the vanguard, take heart that history is on your side.

Yes Size Matters: But Why?

Society has been constructed around the male ego, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that “size doesn’t matter” is a phrase that women are raised to say. But when you step back a bit from the Eurocentric patriarchal perspective, it looks ridiculous as a statement. Of course, size matters.

Saying size doesn’t matter tends to be an analog for a woman saying, “I value many things when looking for a life partner.” The connotation is true, even if it is factually incorrect. To say size doesn’t matter in sex is akin to saying height doesn’t matter in basketball. Yes, some of the most outstanding players in NBA history were not over 7 feet tall, but generally speaking, if you want to play the game at the highest levels, you will need to be above average height.

The Average male in 2021 is 5’10” tall. Let’s just continue the thought exercise for a moment and look at the best players in NBA history (in no particular order, please don’t argue over this list).

  • Lebron James 6’8″
  • Michael Jordan 6’6″
  • Kareem Abdul Jabaar 7’2″
  • Wilt Chamberlain 7’1″
  • Kobe Bryant 6’6″

So to be the best of the best, it helps to have a size or athleticism advantage; this is not controversial. So why is it controversial to admit that sex, one of our most intense physical activities, has a physical component? Hint: It shouldn’t be taboo to admit.

But Why Does It Matter?

Here is a quick top 10 reasons why bigger dicks confer a fundamental advantage during sexual encounters.

  1. Positional Versatility – We all have our favorite positions, and those may vary depending on the partner and how your bodies fit together. However, there is no arguing that extra length can really open up some more options for positions that are either not mutually satisfying, or simply not possible for smaller men.
  2. Visual Appeal – Men are thought of as the more visual gender, but women are not immune to the site of a good body, good abs and yes, a big dick. There is just a power and sense of awe that someone can get when in the presence of something immense.
  3. Objectivity and Comparison – Perhaps my most controversial statement of this post, but women are the worlds best shoppers, selectors and curators of quality. Women are fully capable of incorporating many subjective factors into their emotional attachments to a men, but they also have egos that are deeply drawn to knowing they can attract the best of the best. For all of the subjective factors in a relationship, certain measureables such as height, income and yes, size can make a woman feel like she’s found a catch.
  4. Going Deep – Ok fellas this one might hurt, but there are places inside her that not all guys can reach. When properly aroused, and when properly timed, touching her in places most men cant reach will elicit a response in her that is visceral. Don’t believe me? Here’s an exercise to try. Next time you are having sex with a woman, try using all but 2″ of your penis during the first 5-10mins of intercourse. Watch her response, look for the subtle signals, is she aching for more? Is she really getting into it? Is she pushing her hips against you? Ok now when she’s into it, thrust everything you have into her, all the way to the hilt. Watch her reaction now. Different? yeah…… Well that’s probably how she is when she get’s 2″ bigger than you.
  5. Stamina Advantages – There is some thinking that a man has only so many nerve endings in his penis and that larger size doesn’t equate to more nerves, but more space in between nerve endings. This can result in a couple of advantages such as increased confidence and control. It’s not that sex is less pleasurable for larger men, but it’s more controllable. In general, there is some correlation between size and stamina.
  6. The Home Stretch – It’s not all about length, good girth can give a woman a feeling of having her labia stretched. Many women report this feeling of being stretched as being as intense as deep penetration. Girth Matters.
  7. The Danger – Remember when I said “When properly aroused, and when properly timed, touching her in places most men cant reach will elicit a response in her that is visceral.”? Well many women know what it’s like to be painfully penetrated when they aren’t ready. They know they are playing a dangerous game with a big one and if angled wrong, or timed wrong the big dick can really HURT! So it makes that moment when she takes the leap of faith to fully receive him, all of him, into her deepest and most vulnerable sanctum, all the more intense. Those high stakes can increase the intensity of the moment, making things feel more heightened than a normal casual fuck session. This is the high wire act.
  8. Societal Rebellion – As stated in the opening, a girl is told from an early age she shouldn’t care about things like penis size. That’s not what good girls care about. Admitting she likes it is an act of punk rock rebellion. A fuck you to the patriarchy. She likes fucking, she likes sex and she likes big dick, get over it!
  9. Sexual Selection – Let’s go back to #3 again. Darwinian theory of evolution states that certain genetic traits are advantageous for procreation and therefore become preferred among the females of the species. There is a certain symbology of the phallus that has existed in artwork dating back to Babylonian eras 6000yrs. Just as the plumage of the male Peacock symbolizes a successful male, who can afford to have an ostentatious genetic marker that has no practical advantage outside of mating rituals, a large phallus has been long prized as a marker for virility and good genes.
  10. Turning Off Anxiety – And finally, the reason that may be emerging more and more in our complex modern world, shutting off anxiety. In a world where nothing is guaranteed, when life seems precarious at best and hopeless at worst, a big dick can give a girl a respite for a few minutes, hours, days. She can either drop to her knees and just focus on making it happy, or get on her hands and knees and let it overwhelm her insides until she and her love explode in ecstasy. Sex is natural, sex is fun, and sex can be amazing with a talented big one.

But Fear Not

If you are reading this feeling angry, resentful, or worse yet hopeless, I want to close by saying that for all of the natural advantages a big dick confers, a site like this would not exist if it were all that matters. The entire notion of cuckoldry exists because women are standing up to both have men who prioritize their pleasure in all areas of life while also having men who can deliver the pounding they occasionally crave.

Yes, if you are not well endowed, it’s a natural disadvantage, but think of it more as a challenge. You will have to be creative, committed, and relentless in your pursuit of her happiness, but if you genuinely step up to that challenge, chances are that the woman you love will think of you as a life partner, not just a friend with benefits.

[Guest Post] What goes on in my head in this lifestyle…

My husband asked me the other day what goes through my head when I’m meeting up with a bull. This should be an easy question I thought but I didn’t have an instant answer, for him. I knew I felt a complex set of emotions, mostly good ones, a huge sense of pleasure, and this excitement of being in this lifestyle. One of the things that draws me to this adventure is the complex mix of feelings and different connections that happen throughout an encounter. There is the connection to myself, my husband, and my bull. I’d just never put what goes on in my head to words before. It’s about time I change that.

For me an encounter starts days before even meeting up with my bull. I feel a sense of sexual desire. I find myself fantasizing about possibilities. Having a busy life, I tend to find myself suppressing these deliciously naughty thoughts. My hormones always get the better of me thankfully. The thoughts keep coming. My desire builds. I reach out to my bull. Usually by texting something benign but he knows me well. “How are you? Just thinking about you” very quickly turns in to reminiscing and sexting. I feel confident. Sophisticated in my ability to turn him on. I feel lust towards him. I feel love towards my husband for trusting me. For trusting our relationship. I feel young and vibrant inside. I feel sexy. I like knowing I’m building desire in my bull.

This build up before getting together is really important for my brain. I love the anticipation that develops from this foreplay. It creates distraction from my busy life. I will dress in more sexy attire. I’ll have more energy in my day to day conversations. I’m distracted but sharper at the same time. I’m turned on more than just at a sexual level. My husband will notice this. I like to tell him well before I have a date night so that I can enjoy the emotion he brings to the experience. We feed off each other’s sexual energy. I enjoy the feeling I get from teasing him. Little things like getting my hair done or nails done. He knows it’s not just for me but my bull too. I’ll make sure he sees me trying on new lingerie. He sees me work out that little bit harder. I feel his pride towards me but also that hint of jealousy. I like feeling in charge of my body. My sexuality.

Date night arrives. New emotions come flooding in. There is always that fear someone is going to discover this part of my life. Family, work, kids. Overwhelming sexual lust has always pushed right past any fear. I’m energized. I’m wet. I’m ready to fuck. Anticipation has turned to frustration and impatience. My fun can’t start soon enough. There is a part of me that worries I’m not good enough for this hard bodied younger stunningly hot man. Another part worries that what I’m doing just can’t be normal. But it feels so good for all three of us. This is our normal and I love it.

“There is a part of me that worries I’m not good enough for this hard bodied younger stunningly hot man. Another part worries that what I’m doing just can’t be normal. But it feels so good for all three of us. This is our normal and I love it.”

My husband likes to watch me get ready. I enjoy his gaze too. He knows not to touch me or himself. He walks me out to the car. We passionately kiss. We say a truly honest I love you and then I’m off. Driving to meet my bull is always a surreal time for me. I’m alone with my thoughts. I’m so turned on by this point. I’m in a very sexual headspace. I’m not thinking about all the complexities of life. I’m thinking about my pleasure. My bulls pleasure. What limit can I push to make this even better? What do I really want? I spend so much time looking after everyone else in my life and this is a time for my needs to be met. I worry I have it too good, the universe must need to balance things out. Will a bus hit me on the way to my hotel room? Why am I so lucky to be enjoying this. Shouldn’t I be feeling some guilt?

Walking in to the hotel lobby I feel strong. Sexy. Confident. Excited but calm. My husband has asked if I think about him once I’m there with my bull. Honestly the answer is no. It’s not that I don’t care about what he’s feeling. Quite the opposite. I know what really works for him and turns him on is if I’m fully engaged with my lover and myself. I’m being me. I’m not managing him. This part is my adventure. I’m having fun so that I can experience a full life. My husband gets to experience me afterwards.

One of the biggest benefits or feelings is that I’m in a safe place to be myself away from my home. I can be loud. No kids are going to walk in on me. Room service did walk in on me once while getting DP’d by my bull and his roommate but that’s another story! We can take our time to touch each other. To kiss. To suck. To be playful. It’s really satisfying sex. Passionate and raw. Sex with my husband is really intimate but this is different. My bulls have always been stronger. They fuck me with more intensity. I feel dirty and used in a good way. It’s a solid full body workout that gets us dripping in sweat. I feel lucky. Good sore. Full. So very full.

I’ve chosen a sex partner not a life partner for my bull. My bulls have been smart and funny – personality matters – but I’ve picked men mostly for their abilities in the bedroom. They have stamina. They have strength. They know how to fuck me. How to fuck me hard. I know I’m not committed to them forever. Nor they to me. Our relationship is 90% about sex and not bogged down with normal relationship issues. We have no mortgage, taxes, business, or child challenges to navigate. We have to simply decide if we fuck on the bed or bent over the couch? Do I want my ass filled or my face fucked? While grabbing a drink in the lobby bar do we let the cute guy at the table across from us watch my bull finger my pussy? Really deep challenging issues! It is so freeing to be in this relationship for the night.

There is a moment of intense intimacy when my bull finally releases inside of me. We usually slow our fucking down. He pushes deeply in to me. Really filling me. I kiss him as he unloads in to my body. I love the connection we have in that moment. I love the lust in his eyes. I love his understanding of this whole dynamic. Once we’ve caught our breath he withdraws out of me carefully. He knows it’s important for his seed not to all come out. He carefully pulls my panties back on to me to help keep our climax inside my body. It’s at this point I think of my husband. Truly the most most important person in my life. Our trust and love has allowed me this pleasure. I’ve been masterfully fucked for hours because of that bond and trust.

The drive back home is always longer it seems. I have this huge desire to connect with him. To show him my love for him. To share my experience. To see that desperate need he has to fuck me. It feels so good to see him so turned on. I like how hard he is. How ready he is to unload. Often I will climb up on our bed on my stomach, a pillow underneath me, presenting my well used body to him. I like feeling his jealousy. I like being in charge of how many details I give to him about my night. In this moment his only thought is of what I’ve done this evening. I like being his only focus. His need to get off. The power dynamic between us is intense. I like that his pleasure comes from my pleasure earlier in the night.

Sometimes he will clean me up. I truthfully have mixed feelings about this. I feel badly I’m such a mess for him. I worry he’s doing it for me even though he insists it’s for him. I like the pleasure his mouth brings to me. What I really crave is his cock inside of me. I want his cum in me. I want his cum to fill me like my bulls did. I don’t want him locked up. I want to use his cock for more pleasure. That feeling of him unable to hold back. Him wrapping his arms around me absolutely satisfied. Falling asleep with both their orgasms inside of me. Complete bliss.

I’m sure what goes through my head isn’t going to be the same for all women in this lifestyle. I would encourage women who are thinking about doing this and have hesitations to take that plunge. It’s a journey full of emotions but the connections and intimacy that comes from all of this is truly magical.

Simone

About the author

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.

Understanding Motivations

Often lost in the discussion of fantasies are the motivations. Men usually focus on the who, what, when, where, and how. But don’t overlook the why. When discussing this topic with women, the first question many of them will have is, “why would you want me to do this?” And that is an essential question. 

If you look into the horror stories of cuckolding gone wrong, you can often trace it back to misaligned priorities and motivations to begin. Venus and her guests really hammer home the notion that this lifestyle must be about her, and for a good reason. When the north star is the same for both partners, when it’s solely about her exploration and pleasure, this lifestyle’s complexities become easier to navigate together. 

Presented without judgment are some potentially problematic motivations for a cuckold: 

You are secretly bisexual

There is nothing wrong with bisexuality. The problem word is secret. If you are using cuckolding as a way to safely and without shame explore your bisexual side, with a female partner there to make it “not gay” then expect problems. Right off the bat, this comes off as being about you and not her. 

You want to control

Again, if this is about you wanting to feel power and dominance over two other human beings, you ask for problems. I get the appeal of being a private porn director, but here’s the problem, you are trying to feel like the alpha in the room while bringing a well-hung bull with a massive ego of his own and giving him access to your partner’s body. If he is experienced and talented, you are likely in for a rude awakening about who is in charge. This is one of that those that have true nightmare potential, as seen in the news recently. 

You are fragile

As stated in previous posts, this lifestyle is not for the faint of heart. There are many reasonably safe ways to explore submissiveness, and this one could be perfect, as long as everyone knows it going in. Most partners will be delighted (some thrilled) with exploring the limits of your submissiveness. The only challenge here potentially is if you are submissive and fragile. If the idea of being dominated, teased, and helplessly outperformed appeals to you in private, then you should find a way to slowly test your limits until you are sure you can handle it. Even the most tender and compliant man has an ego, and it’s hard to predict what happens when that ego is crushed. 

You want proof she’s a slut

Look, it’s very sexy to explore a woman’s slutty side. Some partnered women indeed are sluts that just decided to settle down with a nice guy. It’s a pervasive fear for men that they are the guy she settled for, but secretly she wants all the hot men out there. If this is your suspicion about your wife, then talk to her about her past. Advice for how here: https://venuscuckoldress.com/past-as-prologue/  What you shouldn’t do is use this as a trap to prove your paranoia and insecurities to be well-founded. This will never prove anything. I promise because her reasons for agreeing to this almost certainly have less to do with her being an unrepentant slut than her wanting to find creative ways to enhance your relationship. Statistically speaking, if she’s a slut, she’s likely cheated on you already. 

So what are some good reasons? 

You feel the passion fading

This happens, it’s natural and expected. After an initial honeymoon period, most couples reach a point where the essential exploration of each other’s wants and needs hits that 80/20 rule. This is the point where it’s often a great idea to introduce toys, fantasies, and yes, maybe even other people. It is the exact right time to communicate more about your wants and needs and push past the lull in the sex life. 

You reach the limits of your ability to please her

You’ve explored, gotten creative, tried it all, but you sense, and she admits that there is an itch you just can’t quite scratch. You’ve been attempting toys, and they are great, but not the same. Most women have limits they want to be pushed. While sex with you is a lovely, pleasing, and fantastic day to day, there are times when she needs to be taken into a different realm, shattered into a thousand pieces, and have you after that to help put her back together. 

You are both true extroverts

Extroverts are energized by interacting with other people. Monogamy and extroversion can be a challenge for many people. Bringing in other partners can be a way to draw energy and electricity from others. An experienced bull can provide that sexual energy to the room, and two extroverts may revel in that extremely heightened environment. 

She’s an exhibitionist

Maybe she just likes showing off, and wearing a bikini on the beach isn’t quite enough anymore. Maybe she reveled in the looks guys gave her on the beach when younger, but it can’t be beach weather all year long. Perhaps she’s done fashion shows for you alone, your private dancer, but she needs a new prop. She really loves how she looks when in the throws of passion and wants you to see that other side of her from across the room. If this is the case, ask her if she wants you to bring a camera. 

So, in summary, the possibilities are endless on how to execute this lifestyle. Before you do, make sure you and your partner both understand the motivations for why you each want this in your life. When you both understand why, the what, who, when, where, and how will be the easy part.