The Wounded Bull

by Venus Cuckoldress and Cuckoldress Scarlet

Perhaps when he was introduced to the lifestyle of women in cuckolding and hotwifing relationships with their committed partners he was enthralled and aroused. Perhaps he felt as though he had discovered the ideal way to pursue sex with women who were far more free and adventurous than the those he had previously encountered. Perhaps he once admired the sexual freedom and empowered perspective these women reveled in and enjoyed their company. The taboo nature of providing sexual satisfaction to another man’s wife once made him feel powerful and desired, perhaps filling a void that he didn’t realize was there.

Perhaps one day, without warning, all of that changed. His perspective became tinted with a hue of cynicism. What he had previously recognized as confidence in the women he was having sex with suddenly seemed more like arrogance. He began to feel used by the very consensual sexual arrangements he had so willingly embraced before. A growing resentment festered within him for these women. The elements of the lifestyle that used to turn him on, like a married white woman proudly claiming her intense sexual attraction towards black men, now made him feel demeaned and small. What changed? Perhaps not even he could identify exactly what it was, at least not yet. But there was one thing he could be sure of, he was right; anyone who challenged him was misguided and naïve.

Rather than acknowledging his wounded nature and addressing the harmful perspectives and disillusionment he had developed, the wounded bull turned his hurt outward into anger. By this point he had gained a following that viewed him as reputable and trustworthy. He was sure he could use his high standing and intellect to right the wrongs of the lifestyle. He allowed the feeling that had always lurked deep down to bubble up to the surface; he was better than other black men in the lifestyle. He began to use his platform to lash out at fellow lifestylers, bulls and couples alike, when he encountered a perceived wrong-doing. He prefaced each diatribe with the disclaimer that this was just his opinion to take or leave. He was well versed in hiding his disdain under a curtain of civility.

The wounded bull continued to play with wives even though the pleasure he received from each encounter seemed to dwindle steadily and incrementally, like sand coursing through an hourglass. Each time he would leave a couple’s home and pass the family photos framed and hung on the wall his bitterness would increase. It was then he allowed a thought he had held at bay to flood his mind: “These women say they love black men but I am nothing but an object for them to use and discard. I know these women would never date me or marry me and it MUST be because I am black.” A small part of his mind protested this notion as he recalled all of the genuine warmth and respect he had felt from married women and couples throughout the years. “No,” he thought, “I see it clearly now. All of that was a clever play to get what they wanted from me.”

The Wounded Bull would often lay alone in bed perturbed and sleepless. The lifestyle that once enriched his life and made him feel confident, sexy, and esteemed now brought him only misery. For a moment he begrudgingly accepted that it was time for all of it to end. He would bow out of the lifestyle gracefully having been responsible for saving countless marriages that he was sure would have ended in divorce if it weren’t for him. He would make a grand exit and then…and then…and then what? Date in the vanilla world? Create a tinder profile? He shuddered at the thought of re-entering that rat race.

A feeling of desperation welled up within his chest. He didn’t want to leave the lifestyle if it meant leaving ALL of it. He had invested too much-paid content sites, interviews, thousands of followers and devotees. And why should he give it all up? HE was the one doing the lifestyle right, HE was the one trying to make it better! The feeling of desperation quickly transposed into indignation. He would not be pushed aside by these amateur bulls and fake cuckold couples. He would find a way to make the lifestyle enjoyable for himself again. Ideas began to fly through his mind of how to achieve that goal. Perhaps he would stop playing with the established lifestyle couples and find a young, new couple he could carefully mold into his ideal lifestyle coupling. Perhaps he would develop a community of his own, curated to weed out all of the elements of the lifestyle he didn’t like. Perhaps he would use his following to his advantage, allowing them to do the heavy lifting of building the community and spreading the message while he served as the benevolent figurehead. The heaviness lifted from the Wounded Bull’s chest and he felt restored.

Hurt people hurt people.

The story that introduced this blog post was created for illustrative purposes only and is not intended to represent any one person. Rather, it serves to present the general attitudes of bulls who have become wounded during their experience in the lifestyle. Vulnerability is intrinsic to the lifestyle experience for all parties – cuckolds, cuckoldresses and bulls. We have all encountered negative experiences while pursuing the cuckolding lifestyle. This article is about the choices we make when we encounter negativity-be it in the form of selfishness, objectification, or rejection.

Bulls hold a great deal of importance and influence in the cuckolding lifestyle dynamic. Their role in the lifestyle is to be invited into the relationship between the cuckold and the cuckoldress, an intimate and sacred space. Many bulls find that this is the most preferable way for them to pursue sexual connections. Over the years, they may encounter couples in the lifestyle who do not make them feel valued. Or they may develop a desire to have more than a strictly sexual connection with a wife and “catch feelings” for her. There are a myriad of situations that may arise for a bull which are difficult to navigate and may bring about jarring and uncomfortable feelings.

An emotionally healthy man will manage these experiences by utilizing coping skills and taking responsible action. He may explore a number of strategies to process his experience, seek support, and heal from any harm he experienced. He may take a hiatus from actively playing in the lifestyle to take care of himself. An emotionally unhealthy man is likely to become resentful, angry, and jaded. He may suppress his feelings until he reaches a boiling point and lashes out at others. A bull engaging with this mentality is dangerous for the women and couples he becomes involved with. Although his pain is legitimate, he has the potential to irreparably harm the couples who invite him into their relationship.

Wounded bulls are damaging to cuckolding relationships but especially for women in the lifestyle. Identifying the unique behaviors of a wounded bull is key to recognizing and avoiding them.

Typically a wounded bull isolates himself from others in the lifestyle over a period of time and he chooses to only surround himself with either new and impressionable women or couples, or other wounded bulls whose behavior mirrors his own. His coping mechanism is to insult and push away from others so that he feels like he has a sense of control.

Isolating and controlling others is also a common sign of a wounded bull. Women should be wary of any bull who begins to try to control who you initiate conversations with in the lifestyle or who rejects any friendships or connections you’ve made along the way. He may also try to implement strict rules within your own relationship with your cuck – rules which dictate what you both can and cannot do and not just in the bedroom but in the rest of your lives. Just like an abusive boyfriend he insists on knowing who you talk to, where you go, and what you do. He wants to control you. He wants to own you.

A wounded bull is unstable. Watch out for any bull who seems to lash out at others or who stews over an incident for weeks or even months after it happened. This kind of unhealthy preoccupation with conflict and anger is a warning sign that he is holding on to some hurtful emotional baggage from his past and is unable to let it go.

If you feel a negative energy has begun to permeate through your relationship within a short time of introducing a new bull, or you notice that you have lost some female friends or acquaintances in that same time period, or the fun and freedom you enjoyed within the lifestyle has diminished, you may be dealing with a wounded bull. Distance yourself from him before it ruins your relationship with your cuck or sours your entire lifestyle experience.

Women together are a powerful force. If you see something, say something. The women in the cuckolding lifestyle have built a trusted support network so that when we recognize a wounded bull we warn each other to prevent him from further damaging others in the cuckolding or hotwifing lifestyle.

Couples also need to be held to account for the harmful effect of their behavior in this arena as well. The men who willingly step into the role of a bull in a cuckolding dynamic deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. They are not props to fulfill a couple’s fantasy, they are dynamic and evolving people who have their own complex reasons for enjoying this dynamic. As long as couples continue to receive bulls as kink dispensers, only seeing them in the context of their fantasy, this cycle of wounding will continue. Mutual respect, ongoing and enthusiastic consent, and effective, caring communication is paramount to a healthy relationship with a bull, as it is in every ethical, consensual sexual relationship.

If you are a bull and you see parts of your own behavior in this story, take a break from the lifestyle and use this opportunity to seriously reflect on what you really want out of the lifestyle. Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your goals and take the time you need to work through your issues before you return to the lifestyle.

The intention of this writing is not chastise or blame. Hopefully, those of us who love this lifestyle feel a sense of responsibility to ensure our concept of the relationships within cuckolding dynamics are safe and supportive. The wounded bulls who have operated in secrecy will no longer have the capacity to move in silence, perpetuating this harmful cycle. By naming this behavior, we seek to raise awareness and promote the healing process.

The cuckolding lifestyle is beautiful, fun, and incredibly sexy. Every cuck, cuckoldress, and bull in it should be valued, respected, and safe. It’s up to us as a community to recognize when things are going wrong and help each other to navigate the minefields so that we all can enjoy this amazing lifestyle.

[Guest Post] Nirvana

I am seated in my home office, listening to conversation emanating from the living room between my wife and her lover. Their voices a gentle murmur punctuated occasionally by soft laughter. Suddenly the conversation ceases.
After a long silence, I distinctly here the sound of them kissing with passion.
About twenty minutes later, I hear the sound of footsteps climbing the stairs to the master bedroom. I visualize in my mind the adulterous couple holding hands as they head to our marital bed, however, I am startled when my beautiful bride steps suddenly into the office – completely naked, her body covered with a soft sheen of perspiration, a look of lust and determination aimed at me.
She crosses the desk to stand before me and then pushes my letterbox aside making room for her to sit on the edge of my desk. She raises and spreads her legs wide. Her pussy is already gaping, and I see flecks of white on her engorged labia. I now think she is going to invite Cedric to fuck her here on my desk as I sit and watch.
But no, she grabs me by the top of my hair and orders me to lick her pussy.
I stutter, “Did he already fuck you?” “Yes.”
“Did he cumm inside you?” “Not yet, but he will.”.
Before I comply, I kiss her on the mouth. I immediately notice the now familiar, heady taste of Cedric’s manhood on her lips and tongue. Then, I drop to my knees to savor the flavor of his cock mixed with her arousal.
After pushing my face away, she rises and tells me to wait in the office until Cedric calls me for dessert. She turns and she climbs the stairs to meet the lover waiting for her in our marital bed.
I am again surrounded by silence and the many thoughts and images racing in my head. I strain to hear any sound that might escape our bedroom. My focus is at a deliriously heightened state, my chest burns and the knot in my stomach rolls with nervousness.
A feminine giggle, a lustful kiss. Each sound reaching me sends my mind reeling with cuckold angst and joy, causing the adrenalin to flow, my heart to pound, and my modest penis to pulse.
My eyes dart out the door of the office as I finally hear that unforgettable sound, the rhythmic pounding on our bed. The noise of it causes my face to flush with humiliation and arousal both. My blood runs hot, coursing through my body with erotic torment.
A chill runs down my spine as the first, deep, female moan escapes my Queen’s lips. It is a haunting, harrowing sound, and most of all, impossibly sexy. It causes my mouth to run dry and I try to clear the lump in my throat.
Another cry of pleasure, louder this time, her sweet, sexy voice, squeals in delight “Oh oui, oui, oui”.
Another noise soon joins the chorus. I can hear it clearly, the erotic sound of two naked bodies slapping together, burning with desire as Cedric fucks my wife harder, wider, deeper, and longer than I am capable of. Her moans become needful, urgent with every powerful collision. My penis throbs and my head spins as his massive cock drives her to several, desperately needed, extra-marital orgasms.
My Daniella’s moaning now reaches a fever pitch, the erotic sounds of their two naked bodies smacking together in lust, the bed creaking wildly as the adulterous act occurs just meters away from me. My stomach is still in knots, my penis as hard as it ever has been as I listen to another man fuck my wife!
“Oh- oh-oh, oui!” I freeze as I hear her voice cry out in sexual ecstasy. With Cedric, she experiences sexual satisfaction in a way that I am not physically equipped to give her – neither size, strength, nor stamina.
Their combined cries of pleasure echo from within the bedroom. Each of their moans is a gut punch that somehow causes my penis to stiffen and bob to their rhythmic fucking.
As the pounding reaches a crescendo, I hear Cedric roar as he empties his seed deep in my wife’s fertile womb. Condoms are no longer used between them. They left them unused on their third date together and she has not mentioned them since.
I think back to our first encounter with Cedric. We met over drinks as we often did when “interviewing” a potential, new bull. She unnecessarily reminded me in the car on the way there that this was only to talk. Nothing that night would happen.
Expectations well-managed, I was stunned when she accepted his invitation back to his home for another round of drinks.
Not an hour later, I witnessed the two of them making out on the sofa. Clothes were quickly shed and the party was moved to his bedroom. This was a first – fucking a bull during her first date. The sexual chemistry between them was impossible to miss.
My thoughts returning to the present, I hear Cedric grunt, two, three, four times with each rope of virile semen he fires point- blank against my wife’s cervix.
They finished quickly, far quicker than usual. Perhaps, due to the sexy, sweltering August heat and humidity.
It’s been only thirty minutes from the time she left my office when I hear Cedric’s voice booming, “James, tu viens? Vas-y!” “James, are you coming? Get in here now!”
I quickly race out of my office and stumble up the stairs to my sweet, cuckold desert that awaits. Stepping up to the doorway, my mouth dry, heartbeat now racing at an incredible pace, I peer inside.
My wife lays in bed, her legs splayed as a river of her lover’s semen escapes her ravaged cunt. Cedric crosses before me, heading to the shower, pausing only briefly to tell me, “Bon appetit, cuckold!”
I join my wife on the bed, and she directs me to take the submissive position, laying on my back. She straddles my body, kisses me deeply, and tells me, “Mange, mon amour.” “Clean me, my love,” as she moves her cumm-filled cunt above my face and slowly lowers herself.
Her pussy reeks of sex as I cover her cumm-coated lips with kisses and gently dip my tongue inside her gapping pussy slit, causing her to moan.
She then lowers further, planting my face hard against her cunt. I push my tongue as deep inside as I can to feast on Cedric’s thick, rich, sweet load. The taste and texture are truly ambrosia. I can’t swallow enough, so I beg her to push. Daniella grabs my hair and grinds her pussy on my face as she forcefully pushes his semen out and down my throat. I can feel her own ejaculate as well as she squirts from the effort and excitement of feeding me her lover’s cumm.
I allow their combined juices to wallow in my mouth before swallowing and going back for more. “Be gentle”, Daniella directs. “I’m sensitive after being fucked so well. Do you want more?”
I nod happily, knowing she has led me to Nirvana.

About the author

Zen Cuckold is 56, and from California.  His beautiful, Brazilian wife is 45.  They have been happily married for 23 years and an active cuckold/hotwife couple since before they married.  Zen discovered his interest in cuckolding as a teenager reading “Penthouse Letters” long before the internet.  He offered to open their relationship to cuckolding as way to accommodate her strong sexual needs and her “active past” against his physical “shortcomings”.  His wife’s preference is for a long-term relationship with a strong, capable, well-endowed lover although the occasional spontaneous hook-up has been known to occur while on vacation ; ) They live in Europe with their two daughters.

[Guest Post] Benefits of a longer weekend away

Like I suspect many couples, we never have enough time to really enjoy all that we want from this lifestyle. Balancing family, kids, and work with a full sex life is hard even without the added dynamic of a hot, fit, (and busy as a junior lawyer) bull in the mix. Simone tries to have a date with her bull at least once or twice a month but truthfully sometimes even that can be a challenge. It’s not for lack of wanting to make it happen. There are a lot of “stars” to align for it all to work. We recently decided to go away for a weekend with her bull to a beautiful resort away from our home town. We’d been to swinger type resorts but never the 3 of us in this cuckold dynamic or all sharing a room together for more than a night. This was not a swinger resort but it offered privacy, was upscale and sexy, and far away enough to feel like we were away from our “normal” lives. I wasn’t sure how it would go, but after the experience those of you lucky enough to be in this sexy lifestyle should try a weekend away with your bull.

“I wasn’t sure how it would go, but after the experience those of you lucky enough to be in this sexy lifestyle should try a weekend away with your bull.”

We left early on a Friday morning for the four hour drive. It started off like good friends heading away on a trip. Casual conversation, catching up on each others lives. Half way through the commute the conversation shifted to sex. I realized that up until this point we’d never really had uninterrupted time to communicate about our desires, past experiences, fantasies and turn-ons. Sure we’d talked and knew each other pretty well but there was something about being in the car heading away to this sexy place that made for a vibe that let us each really open up. Hearing details of some of his past encounters was a real turn on for both of us. Hearing Simone openly and honestly talk about what she really enjoys about sex with him and the cuckold dynamic was not just erotic but extremely intimate. This was a conversation Simone and I had had many times but including her bull made it even hotter. She wasn’t just having amazing sex with this guy. She was sharing her mind, her desires, her intimate self. The sexual energy was palpable. He opened up about how sexual he felt fucking Simone knowing she was married and cucking me. Deep honest communication. He made himself vulnerable explaining how much it turned him on to ejaculate inside of Simone knowing he’d watch her cleaned up. He didn’t think he could ever orgasm in another man’s mouth but this clean up of his semen was a huge turn on for him.

“She was sharing her mind, her desires, her intimate self. The sexual energy was palpable. He opened up about how sexual he felt fucking Simone knowing she was married and cucking me.”

By the time we arrived and checked in the two of them couldn’t wait to climb in to bed together. Knowing how much it would turn me on Simone asked me to head out for a walk along the beach so they could enjoy some alone time. I knew the look on her face – she needed his cock inside of her. She’d text me when they were done. Needless to say it was a long walk and they took their time “connecting” properly. The tension and angst of knocking on the hotel room door knowing your wife is inside and her bull is going to answer is hot as fuck. I returned to my wife on all fours, a pillow under her mid section, her legs nicely spread, and her ass and pussy fully visible and clearly freshly fucked. I cleaned her up bringing her to another intense orgasm while her bull watched. Hearing him talk dirty and dominant about how he’d just enjoyed fucking her got me even more in to the experience. She grabbed her lingerie thong off the counter, wiped down his cock with the soft material, then wrapped it around my cock, telling me I’d be wearing it and their lovemaking out. We got dressed and headed out for a late lunch all together my cock still rock hard in their juices. The two of them nicely satisfied.

One fun part of being away and feeling safe that we aren’t going to bump in to people we know, is experiencing the excitement of her being out with both him and I. Subtle little things, kissing me then kissing him. Us both grabbing her sexy bum. Her clearly flirting with us both always focused a little more on her bull. Seeing how people around us notice and react. The smile on another couples face when they put it together that she’s fucking us both. The hotel concierge taking us and our bags in to a room and trying not to smile as he figures out that Simone is here with her husband but also this much younger, hot, sexy, hard bodied guy that no doubt is her friend with a lot of benefits. It creates an energy that really turns us all on. She even got a wink and a comment from one woman saying she was clearly living her best life.

“Seeing how people around us notice and react. The smile on another couples face when they put it together that she’s fucking us both.”

The three of us out for dinner with no tight timeline to get home allowed us to really relax and feel in to the whole dynamic. It didn’t matter if we finished dinner at 8pm so they could rush to fuck so as to get home before it was too late. We enjoyed the sexy conversation, food, and delicious wine. I think we finished dinner around 10pm before we casually walked back to our room. We didn’t need to be anywhere except right in this moment. Deep in this beautiful dynamic. The fucking was more intense and passionate and not rushed. They could build each other up then take a break and kiss and touch. I watched as her bull gave her a slow sensual massage, touching every inch of her body, getting her turned on more than I’ve seen in ages. We laughed and joked as they tried new positions – some of which worked and some of which didn’t. They explored each other as I enjoyed watching their passion.

With kids and real life I’m often not able to watch Simone and her bull. I hear about it when she gets home. Being away let me be in the room experiencing the raw intensity of their sex. She would always give me as much detail as she could but watching added so much more. It’s much different to hear your wife tell you that her bull fucked her in her ass than to watch the sexiness of the process. The details of her stroking him to make sure he’s well lubed up, to watching him slide his lubed fingers in her making sure she’s ready, to seeing him slowly work his beautiful cock in to her ass, to hearing her tell him to start slowly because he’s so big, to watching them get in to a rhythm and really start to fuck. That is missed in just hearing about it. The sounds, the moaning, the reality of seeing true intimacy is exquisitely erotic. To see their bodies sweat and sensually connect.

One thing we hadn’t talked about was sleeping arrangements. Typically after she’d been with her bull she’d come home and we would be in bed together. I volunteered to be on the couch. It was a new experience for me watching them finish together, wrapped in an embrace, clearly him still inside of her as she drifted off to a much needed sleep. I was wide awake, more turned on than ever, with a rock hard cock, on this slightly too small couch. I was just drifting off in the early morning hours when her bull woke her up to go another round. He has incredible stamina, why I think she can’t get enough of him, and he didn’t disappoint. After he finished she gave me such a loving look and asked me to come over and put my cock inside of her to feel just how “satisfied” she was. She was soaked, full of cum, and felt divine. I had such an intense release in to her and we felt that deep connection that this lifestyle was working for us. He climbed back in to bed spooning her from the front, their arms wrapped around each other. Me spooning her from behind. She was embraced by both of us, each providing her with different things she craved and needed for a full life.

I won’t bore you with the remaining details of the trip. We had many more sessions of cucking eroticism but what we really had was time to explore this dynamic. Time to really enjoy what this lifestyle can offer. It was a level of intimacy not achieved on a date night. We needed a weekend truly away all together to have the experience.

About the author

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.

[Guest Post] Managing New Relationship Energy (NRE)

When you have chemistry and connection with a new partner your brain is flooded with many hormones that make you feel exceptionally good. Oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin – the body’s love and reward molecules. Intense sexual arousal and all that increasing testosterone will drive you to want to explore and enjoy each other. This is of course more complicated in a cuckold relationship and requires tending and understanding to avoid challenges. NRE doesn’t stay only between the female and her bull. If done right it spills over to the cuckold and enhances the primary relationship. The magic of this spillover effect is what makes cuckolding so much fun. The cuck and his wife get to experience the NRE of meeting a new lover together. Having open communication and keeping the cuck part of the new relationship keeps that primary connection strong. Taking a new bull will enhance that connection.

For sex to be that next level great my wife needs chemistry and connection. Yes fucking some hot guy on vacation can be fun but building something with more depth will result in better and more adventurous sex. She very much prefers to find her own lovers. I’m not part of that process up until the point she lets me know she has found someone that she wants to pursue sexually. We openly talk about the potential bull. Safety. Discretion. Risks. Rewards. Really from her first thinking about a new lover her hormones change. She’s more in touch with her body. She has more energy. Her mood is elevated. Once we’ve chatted and she has decided to pursue her new potential the NRE starts to build. Once he’s expressed his eagerness to proceed it jumps 10 fold. My hormones have also changed at this point. I am as excited if not more excited than her. We have more sex. We fantasize more together. We play more sexual games like denial, edging, teasing, even chastity. She will always have a first and second date without sex – to see if there is chemistry. It also helps the build up for the bull. His hormones are building and making him feel lust and attraction too. Bulls consistently tell her that knowing she is married in this type of relationship is a huge boost to their drive. They want to prove their sexual prowess even more than in a monogamous relationship. It’s different. Sexy. Primal.

Planning that third date is always amazing. NRE is in full force. I make a point of always buying her new sexy lingerie. Something her bull will get to enjoy taking off of her before me. She makes a point of teasing and denying me for the week before she fucks a new lover. This builds both our testosterone levels and dramatically improves energy and desire. By the time it’s date night I’m always bursting with lust and love for my wife. Knowing she is giving me this beautiful gift of fulfilling her sexual needs while simultaneously fulfilling mine. The denial creates so much desire which in turn buffers some of the feelings of angst. Staying connected as she gets ready for her date is important. I feel and see the lust she has for this new usually younger stronger bigger man. It doesn’t make me feel at all inferior. I feel pride that I have the closeness with my wife to share something as intimate as cuckolding with her. And then she’s off to enjoy her date.

Connecting after that first sexual experience with a new bull is essential. Sharing some details of their sex brings the cuck in to the experience. My wife knows exactly how to do this that works for our dynamic. “Can you massage my thighs? He had my legs spread so wide they are really sore.” “Can you rub my feet, I had my high heels on most of the night.” “Can you gently finger my pussy and lick my clit. He fucked me so hard I’m sore but I need to cum again while I tell you where he blew his load.” Falling asleep with my arms wrapped around her, feeling her sexual satisfaction, gives such a sense of closeness and intimacy. Here the love of my life has enjoyed herself fully to then return to my arms to rest and feel safe. Why shouldn’t this amazing wife, mother, and lover enjoy all that life has to offer her.

As the relationship with her bull develops she is flooded with all those good hormones. Her sex drive is through the roof and it’s already starting on a high floor. She usually manages to get together with him 2 to 3 times a week. We are enjoying some sexual experience together almost daily. This doesn’t necessarily mean penetrative sex. Maybe I’m being denied and just getting her off. Once a solid trust is developed with her bull things move to that new level of him unloading inside of her. This throws our hormones in to overdrive. Knowing she is going to be coming home filled with cum from a new lover for the first time is a massive turn on for both of us. I’m usually walking around hard for days in anticipation. She often just tells me in a casual way because she knows it drives me crazy. “I got groceries on my way home. Oh and I’m going to let ___ cum inside of me this Friday night.” The key here is that we are staying connected in a playful way. We are enjoying the NRE together.

After she’s built a solid connection with her bull the two of them get to a point they aren’t just comfortable with being watched but actually want it. Having him over for dinner, watching their chemistry, their touching, their nuances of how they connect is highly intimate for us both. Watching them in bed is next level intimate. That primal sexual need they have to fuck each other. Watching them make each other orgasm. Every lover I’ve watched her fuck teaches me new things about my wife. I can feel their energy. Sometimes I’ll be right there joining in. Giving her that dual penetration feeling she loves. Licking her clit while he fucks her. Cleaning her up seconds after he’s filled her with his orgasm. Things that create such closeness and amazing NRE.

Cuckolding can be an incredible dynamic. Communication is paramount and requires trust, honesty, and truthful disclosure. Staying connected and making sure all three are involved, albeit in different ways, makes for a feeling of fulfillment and a hormone saturate experience. Make sure that NRE is on the table for everyone to enjoy. Otherwise jealousy and negative feelings take over. The opposite feelings of love, lust, and compersion are much better to enjoy.

About the author

Aaron & Simone are a couple who have been transitioning into a cuckold lifestyle over the last 10 years. They are in their 40’s, have a busy family and busy jobs, and busy life, and they keep this fun kink discrete. They are a physician and psychologist who love to communicate and share with others. They’ve learned a lot over the years and want to share whatever they can to help others.

How Natural Is Monogamy?

Western society treats monogamous marriage as the default relationship style for humanity. For thousands of years, the fantasy of the prince and princess, nuclear family has proliferated. Shame, humiliation, and social ostracism have been used as weapons of control for those who don’t easily align to the “norm”. The reality is, Monogamy is far less normal or natural for humans than most want you to believe.

History and our biology suggest that the estimated 55% of adults to admit to infidelity are simply the more honest among us. Eurasian patriarchal imperialism has conditioned us to ignore the anthropological and biological evidence even while our bodies and minds are driving us to notice attractive potential mates.

Anthropology Meets Biology

Looking at this from an anthropological point of view, per studies, just 9 percent of mammals are monogamous. Among primates, humanity’s closest relative, just 29 percent are. Before Western imperialism, just 16 percent of indigenous human societies were monogamous. 84 percent of ancient societies included acceptance and normalized non-monogamy.

From a biological standpoint, research suggests that the penis evolved in its shape to act as a “semen displacement device” built to displace other men’s semen. The phenotype only confers an evolutionary advantage in a non-monogamous culture. Simply put, if a woman is only sleeping with one man, then there is no advantage to semen displacement. In fact, quite the opposite. The shape of the penis itself indicates non-monogamy in our species.

An academic team from the State University of New York theorizes that the thrust of the penis during sex may help to clear a woman’s reproductive system of a previous lover’s semen. Not all animals have sex the way humans do, with a thrusting motion in and out. The primary benefits of the thrust come down to increasing pleasure for both partners and, according to research, displacing competitor sperm.

Stamina variations in men, likewise, indicate that monogamy is not our default state. Think about this for a moment. If humans were genuinely monogamous, what is the evolutionary advantage to having sex for 30 minutes before ejaculation? How would it confer an advantage over 2 minutes? Simply put, it would not confer an advantage in a monogamous couple.

But now consider a non-monogamous culture. If the male knows that he is competing with other males, the longer he can thrust with his specialized-shaped penis, the more competing sperm he can displace before depositing his own. This creates an evolutionary advantage.

So then why wouldn’t all men evolve to be marathon men? Well, let’s look at it from a different perspective. In most highly social mammalian cultures that are not monogamous, you have a hierarchy of males from Alpha to Betas and beyond. For the Alpha male, who has no threat to be chased off or attacked while having sex, the advantage is to last as long as possible.

For the betas, however, it’s a totally different story. The best chance at procreating is to get in and get out, depositing his semen as quickly as possible, before being chased off by another competing male. Lasting 30minutes is an evolutionary dead-end for a non-alpha male.

Culture is King

Stepping back from the dry biology and anthropology, let’s look at the sociological side. How did we get from 16% monogamy to a society that stigmatizes anyone who does not practice pair bonding?

The Alpha/Beta dynamics are instructive. Until 6000yrs ago or so, humans were primarily hunter-gatherers. Nomadic in Europe mostly following the roaming herds of animals, with more available local flora and fauna in Asia and Africa. As our societies have evolved from a world of emperors, kings, and dictators, we see that monogamy becomes an attractive feature for culture aligned to a more egalitarian form. Just as the New Deal promised a chicken in every pot, I think societies have evolved to deal with the single male problem by promoting a one woman, one man culture.

As humans evolved from hunter-gatherer societies to agrarian settlements, concepts of ownership and property began to form. We think of property as a fundamental aspect of humanity, but in reality, there was no need for ownership of land or another person prior to humanity settling down in one place. As humans started to work the land and cultivate crops, they needed to protect those efforts and labors by ensuring that no one else came at harvest time and just took the crops.

As this dynamic started to settle in, it was a slippery slope into ownership of property, tools, and eventually people. As humans became more and more specialized in the crops they raised or the type of animals they raised, they needed to create economic systems to trade their surpluses for other staples needed in everyday life. So a person with milk cows trades with a wheat farmer.

Around this time, surpluses became crucial, and labor was the primary constraint to creating surpluses in society. There were two primary mechanisms in a pre-currency world to acquire labor. 1. Family 2. Subjugation and Slavery. Those who preferred option 2 created the modern imperialism that has created the concept of the nation-state. Those who preferred building family needed to ensure that they could reliably count on building a labor force of familial kin. Enter the concept of Monogamy, roughly 6000yrs ago or so….

Size As A Sign

And an argument could be made that penis size is also evidence of variations in patriarchal control of female sexuality. This may be controversial, but consider the lack of evolutionary advantage of a larger penis in a society where women were treated as property. Penis size as a sexual selection trait evaporates in those societies such as Europe and Asia which are highly patriarchal.

In other societies, where women were free to choose their partners, there is evidence that penis size has grown over millions of years to far larger than any other primate species. Sexual selection is a powerfully compounding force in nature, resulting in bright plumage in birds, for example. But it also manifests in many other aspects with a limited functional purpose other than attractiveness to a mate.

If you are monogamous, this is not intended to tell you that you are wrong. But if you have long felt the draw to others and felt shame for not feeling like it was ok to be attracted to others, just know that you are not the weirdo. Society moved in a weird way over time.

As the imperial age has slowly been winding to a close, and humanity becomes more egalitarian and less patriarchal, can we expect to see non-monogamy make a comeback? I would say we are well into that correction already.

Some would say society is breaking down, but a real case can be made that we are swinging back to our more natural state. And for those on the vanguard, take heart that history is on your side.