What you thought you knew about cuckolding

New episode!

This episode kicks off the new “Ask Venus” hotline part of the show where listeners get to contribute to the podcast with their questions, comments, and feedback. First up is a woman who is looking for advice on where to find single cucks online, next there’s some hilarious feedback on the “When she goes black” episode on interracial cuckolding, and lastly it’s a cuck question about what’s hotter: being in the room or not being there at all?

This episode is all about busting the common myths and stereotypes of cuckolding relationships. What’s in it for him? Women must be sluts to want this right? Cucks must be weak and pathetic right? Isn’t cuckolding emotionally damaging? It’s a wild world out there chalk full of misconceptions and some just purely bullshit ideas about what all of this is about so join Venus as she dives right in to bring some truth and clarity to it all.

Becoming a Patron supporter of the podcast gives you access to register for future Pillow Talk (live) video broadcasts with Venus and sometimes special cuckoldress guests too! Pillow talk is a super fun “ask anything” format and discussion and gives everyone a chance to participate in the chat if they would like to. It’s usually once a month-ish. Once one is scheduled, an invite will be sent out to all current patrons.

To support the podcast and become a Patron visit https://www.patreon.com/VenusCuckoldress

The Venus Hotline

Venus joins Dan Savage on the Savage Lovecast

I was beyond flattered and thrilled to get an invitation to join Dan Savage as a guest on the Savage Lovecast Podcast.

Here’s the link! https://www.savagelovecast.com/episodes/722#.X0XQA8hKiM8 Just a head’s up that guest appear on the “Magnum” versions of episodes and not the shorter ones.

I’ve been a Dan Savage fan for over a decade and it’s because of his hugely popular column Savage Love, that I first learned about non-monogamy, and that was what led me down the road to where I am today. Obviously I’m hugely grateful for his influence on my life!

Here’s a little bit about Dan, taken from his website www.savagelovecast.com:

Dan Savage is an author, a sex-advice columnist, a podcaster, a pundit, and a public speaker.

“Savage Love,” Dan’s sex-advice column, first appeared in the The Stranger, Seattle’s alternative weekly, in 1991. The column is now syndicated to more than 50 papers across the United States and Canada.

Dan has published six books. His newest book, American Savage, will be published in May of 2013. In 2010 Dan and his husband Terry Miller founded the It Gets Better Project. The IGBP has gathered tens of thousands of videos from people all over the world offering hope to LGBT kids. The book—It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living—was a New York Times best seller. In 2012 the It Gets Better Project was awarded an Emmy.

Dan is a regular contributor to public radio’s This American Life. He is a also a frequent guest on The Colbert Report, Real Time with Bill Maher, and other television programs. In the fall of 2011 MTV filmed Dan as he toured colleges performing “Savage Love Live,” the live version of his sex-advice column. That tour became the basis for the 2012 MTV program “Savage U.”

In 2006 Dan launched the Savage Lovecast, a weekly, call-in advice podcast. It is now one of iTunes top 50 podcasts. Dan’s graphic, pragmatic, and humorous advice has changed the cultural conversation about monogamy, gay rights, religiosity, and politics. Dan lives in Seattle with his husband, their son, and a one-eyed, deaf poodle named Stinker.

This is one of my favourite Dan Savage videos. If you haven’t already watched it – you absolutely must! It’s brilliant and hilarious!

Venus xo

The ultimate guide to dating in the cuckold lifestyle

It’s one of the most common questions I get asked – where can I find a woman who is into this? Do you invest time into a vanilla relationship and then after things progress, bring it up to her and hope she goes for it? Do you put it out there right away in the beginning and risk rejection? How do you even bring it up to her? How do you know she might be interested? So many questions right?! Where do you even begin?

I’ve spent years dating in this lifestyle and I’ve experienced it all, from a woman’s perspective of course, and now I’ve put together an extensive episode with all of my tips, advice, and things to avoid when dating in the cuckold lifestyle. This is a long one so get out your notepad and get ready to take some notes. I’ve also included chapter markers for quick reference.

Venus xo

Cuck Fear – new episode

Yup I’ve gone and disturbed the hornets nest with this one haha! As if the blog post about cuck fear wasn’t controversial enough, I had to go and do a lengthy podcast episode about it. Love it or hate it, agree or disagree, this one will be food for thought for many of you I’m sure.

Enjoy!

Venus xo

The ugly side of cuckolding popularity

Let’s face it, interest in cuckolding is at an all time high. This surge in popularity has come at a price though. What cuckolding has been in the past has quickly become distorted online and why exactly is that important? Why does that matter?

This episode exposes the ugly side of cuckolding popularity and why it might have something to do with why there aren’t more women into this kind of thing and also why it’s so hard for husbands to get their wife into it.

I know this podcast episode is going to be controversial and many people won’t agree with what I have to say but it’s something that only years of being exposed to different aspects of the online cuckolding world has given me a unique opportunity to look critically at cuckolding as a whole – where the flaws are and where improvements can be made.

Venus xo

And in case you missed my last episode with the Priory Society, here it is!

Cucks are their own worst enemy

“They’re focusing entirely on the sexual acts/fantasies of cuckolding and haven’t stopped to realize that they only know about 2% of what cuckolding really is, and they will never know because they will never experience a real loving cuckold relationship, and all because they will never even learn how to approach women with respect and simply focus on building something real.”

Venus

There’s no way around it – this post is going to sound like I’m shitting on cucks. Sorry in advance.

First let me start out by saying that over the years I have met some couples and single cucks who I love and adore and whose friendships will likely last a lifetime and I’m so grateful to have met these beautiful, respectful, classy people but this post is about the countless number of cucks who are out there behaving like morons. This one is for you.

Today I came across a woman around the same age as me who is trying to navigate the dating world of single cucks and let’s just say, it sucks. Her stories are all too familiar to me; single cucks are forever stuck with one foot outside of the cuck closet and unable to get the courage to come on out and experience this beautiful relationship for what it is, and they are obsessed with using her as a temporary fetish dispenser so they can endlessly jerk off about it. This bad behaviour is an epidemic going on within this lifestyle and it’s not good for anyone but especially detrimental to women who have the courage to want this kind of relationship.

Imagine being a single woman and putting yourself out there, seeking this kind of relationship and being bombarded online by cucks who seem interested but really are only interested in using you for jerk off material. All they want to do is ask you a thousand questions about how you would cuck them so they can get all hot and bothered and rub one out again and again – they’re not going to ask her anything else, not get to know her, not treat her like an actual person. That alone is enough for a woman to say fuck it and never come back to this. But no, she also has to deal with the usual catfish, crazy stalkers, and married guys pretending to be single. But the worst of it is…when she finds a guy who she really likes and when it comes time to meet…poof he’s gone. He locked himself firmly into the cuck closet again, never to be heard from again. Over and over again she has experienced this and the stories from other women are similar across the board.

I get it – cuckolding is hot as fuck. Obviously I get that. But for fuck’s sakes can’t more people online give it some credibility and make it more about dating or relationships than just porn?? Just look at what kind of environment has been created online – it’s a sea of male fantasy bullshit driven porn – certainly not female friendly in any way. No fucking wonder there aren’t more women into this. No fucking wonder wives are hesitant to even consider it. No wonder guys don’t take it seriously. For example there are married cucks online posting naked pics of their wives (faces and personal info) in chat rooms just for the purpose of jerking off when a bull makes comments about it. I seriously fucking doubt the wife has consented! What in the actual fuck are you doing to your relationship, the disrespect for your wife, the perception of cuckolding relationships to anyone who sees that??

So many cucks are just mentally warped by the heroin for masturbation which is all over the internet and it’s created a rampant toxic cuck mentality and that is now a massive turn off for women. They’re making the mistake of focusing entirely on the sexual acts/fantasies of cuckolding and haven’t stopped to realize that they only know about 2% of what cuckolding really is, and they will never know because they will never experience a real loving cuckold relationship, and all because they will never even learn how to approach women with respect and simply focus on building something real.

A big part of what I do is talk about cuckolding relationships so that women will consider it as a valid relationship option and yet I also feel sorry for the women who decide to do just that. I cringe to think about what it’s going to be like for them once they go through what the rest of us go through and I just pray that they won’t give up on it.

Cucks need to set the bar higher for each other, stop acting like fantasy driven pigs, and ask yourself how you are contributing to this on a bigger level. Either that or stop complaining to me about how it’s so hard to find women who are looking for a cuck relationship – I don’t want to fucking hear it anymore.

Venus xo

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Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”

Venus

So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story: https://venuscuckoldress.com/diving-head-first-into-cuckolding/

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario: https://venuscuckoldress.com/to-love-your-bull-or-not/

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post https://venuscuckoldress.com/queen-of-spades/

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is https://venuscuckoldress.com/how-to-catch-a-goddess/

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages: https://www.maturemetal.com/

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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Money is a bitch

“By far the biggest reason cucks don’t trust women like me is because so  many women are out there looking to use guys for their  money.”

Venus

Findommes are a real pain in my ass. No really…the money hungry gold digging bitches lingering around this lifestyle are the main reason why so many  men distrust women and I wish this problem didn’t exist.

Thanks to the internet all of us are searching online for our soulmates in the cuck lifestyle and this can be a tricky and sometimes very shady place. Let’s face it, there are some creeps out there (I’ve met more than my fair share of them) so you have to be careful. There are online profiles which are fake or misleading (soooo many) and some people who lure you into trusting them so that they can extort you or blackmail you. Yeah that’s some fucked up shit!

But by far the biggest reason cucks don’t trust women like me is because so  many women are out there looking to use guys for their  money. Some are upfront about it, claiming to be into financial domination and looking for paypigs (guys who feel submissive by giving money to greedy women), and other women are sneaky bitches about it by lying and manipulating men into giving them money. Women are literally making a living off of these men and they are everywhere online.

It’s no wonder so many guys I talk to don’t want to trust me in the beginning. Many of them have had encounters with these women before and it has left them nervous about future encounters and I can understand that but I wish this wasn’t such a common obstacle because it makes it really hard to get to know someone when the trust isn’t there from day 1 – and we all know how important trust is in this kind of relationship!

For the record I am not one of these gold digging bitches. Yes I do love to be treated well but I want my man to treat me that way because he genuinely wants to and not because I demand it from him. I would take offense to be labelled as a findomme as this is so far from who I actually am and anyone who says it about me simply does not know me at all.

So I’m putting it out there to all of the single cucks: not all of us are after your money. You can trust me on that.

 

Venus xo

Cuck etiquette

“Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such  a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.”

Venus

Here are a few little tips and wise words of advice for you to learn how to approach me and how to behave around me. I say ‘me’ because I have no idea what other single cuckoldresses want or prefer so for now, this really is just about me. Of course this is a continuation to my expectations in How to catch a Goddess so definitely take notes on that one too.

  1. I need to be attracted to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so please at least attach a photo or description of yourself when you introduce yourself. I also need to know a little about you and not just that you’re into cuckolding – you know…normal stuff you’d want someone to know about you.
  2. If for whatever reason I decide to politely tell you I’m not interested in you (or I’ve repeatedly ignored you) please do not respond with a multitude of questions asking me why and get offended or start arguing with me. This is just going to piss me off.
  3. I’m not your jerk-off material. Do not get so whipped up into a frenzy with all of the cuckolding chat that you forget about the relationship part. This happens all too often. Do not ask me for pictures and videos. I used to share them but I have since learned that it’s not helpful to try to build relationships when guys just depend on me for it every day.
  4. Don’t make bullshit promises. Do not tell me that you’re willing to move to Canada if you haven’t even looked into the process. It’s not easy at all and you should know that already.
  5. Don’t start off by asking if you can watch me fuck a black guy or if you can do clean up afterwards. Really I can’t believe how many guys say this to me right off the bat. If that’s one of the first things you say to me then I will tell you to fuck off. It’s an actual relationship I’m after, not just fulfilling some sort of cuckold fantasy.
  6. Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such  a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.
  7. Telling me that you want to buy me lingerie so that I can wear it for black guys is not going to get me excited. While I appreciate the offer (and I have received a shit load of offers), this is not so much a gift for me as it is a gift for yourself so you can jerk off to the thought of it. How about you find out what it is that I truly need or want and do it just because you want to make me happy?
  8. DO NOT SEND ME YOUR UGLY WHITE DICK PICS – fucking gross. I shouldn’t even need to say this.
  9. Just be yourself. You don’t need to lie about your situation or your identity. This kind of relationship is hugely built on trust and lying to me, even about something small, right in the beginning is not going to sit well with me. If you’re worried about discretion that’s fine, I understand that, but you need to trust me for me to trust you. If you’re married or in a relationship then tell me – don’t make up bullshit stories.
  10. Be prepared to do your homework, talk on the phone, and meet in person. I’m not interested in pen pals or endless texting so if it seems like things are not moving forward then I’m not going to continue chatting forever.  Also, I’ve made a point of trying to list my answers to a lot of your questions here on my blog so that I don’t have to spend hours and hours answering them over and over individually so please do your homework and read up before asking me. In my post Everything else you’ve wanted to know I’ve answered the following questions:

What do your friends think about you being a cuckoldress?
What kinds of things do you make your cuck do?
What is it about cuckolding that makes you like it?
How did you get into cuckolding?
How public do you want your lifestyle?
Do you want to marry your cuck?
Do you want your cuck to participate sexually with you and your bull?
Are you into forced bi or ass play for your cuck?
What was the reaction of the tattoo artist when you got your queen of spades tattoo?
How long ago did you get into black guys?
Why not just date a black guy if that’s what you like so much?
Do you like BBC bareback and do you want to get pregnant?
Is there such a thing as too big?

Venus xo

Cheaters

“This is a fucking epidemic in this lifestyle and it’s really despicable. This isn’t fair to your wife or to me, and truly I feel sorry for you that you are stuck in a vanilla relationship with someone who won’t support your needs but really you have got to stop continuing to live a lie.”

Venus

It’s been a little while now that I’ve been navigating the world of dating and looking for my future cuck husband. It’s been less than fun. In fact it’s been a fucking disaster most times, to be honest. 

I’ve written on here before about how so many cucks are stuck in the closet, this continues to be the case. I get it – it’s all hot fantasy until it becomes real. Then it’s fucking scary for you cucks and you flake out. I understand. 

But what really pisses me off is how many times I get pursued by guys who are fucking married! Of course they don’t advertise the fact that they are married or are in a committed relationship…they are all pretending to be single. Lying, cheating assholes and a complete waste of my time. 

This hasn’t happened to me once, twice, or even three times. No it’s actually happened at least 10 times. This is a fucking epidemic in this lifestyle and it’s really despicable. This isn’t fair to your wife or to me, and truly I feel sorry for you that you are stuck in a vanilla relationship with someone who won’t support your needs but really you have got to stop continuing to live a lie.

Finding love is hard enough, aligning your kinks is even harder, so guys please stop this shitty behavior. 

Converting those vanilla boys

“Then after a few weeks he asked me about the last time I fucked a black guy. I was surprised that he wanted to hear the details as I hadn’t mentioned anything about cuckolding.”

Venus

I’ve heard stories from cucks who have tried to bring their girlfriends or just women in general, into this lifestyle and they’ve all been largely unsuccessful. Many women just don’t grasp the concept or judge it harshly, or if they do try it they are likely just doing it for him and not because it’s part of who they are. For me, this lifestyle is who I am and I do it for me. That’s what I think the difference is between a successful cuck relationship and one that is not. That just my theory anyways, I know many people will disagree. 

But what would it be like for me to try to bring a “vanilla” guy into this? For a long time I just assumed it would never work so I’ve never tried. But recently I figured I might as well try it since I live in a seemingly cuckless city. So off to Tinder I went to try to seduce some vanilla boys and my oh my…was I in for a surprise! 

My first profile attempt was quite boring. I didn’t reference anything about cuckolding, just a little blurb about me being non-monogamous. I didn’t really have my hopes up that I would actually find anything on that shitty dating app. 

I matched with a guy and we started talking. He asked me what I want and I said I want you to be faithful and I want to sleep with lots of black guys and I want to be in charge in the bedroom. Surprisingly he said he liked that idea so we gave it a try. 

He lives in a different city anyways but is moving to Vancouver so for now things would be by distance. He mentioned he didn’t want to know about my experiences with black guys though and I was like whatever that’s fine for now. Then after a few weeks he asked me about the last time I fucked a black guy. I was surprised that he wanted to hear the details as I hadn’t mentioned anything about cuckolding. So I told him all about the two black guys I fucked the day before. He loved it. Then he asked if he could watch sometime. I was like WTF really??!! Hell yes! 

I was just amazed that without much influence from me, he was embracing the cuck role on his own and loving every minute of it. Could it really be this easy?

So that got me wondering and I decided to do a little more experimenting with Tinder. It was time to make another profile. 

My next profile is a veiled face pic and a pic of my queen of spades tattoo on my ankle, as well as the following text:

“I know exactly what I want and it’s probably not going to be you” #femdom #cucklife “if interested swipe up”

So nothing too scary – I don’t think anyways – but just enough to give some obvious hints as to what I’m looking for. I figured if they swipe up for a super like then I know they’ve at least read my profile and can follow instructions. 

Well it didn’t take long for my phone to light up with notifications. I couldn’t believe how many guys were genuinely interested and wanted to know more. 

Maybe this cuck wasteland I live in wasn’t actually a wasteland? Maybe my theory has been correct and they indeed are locked in the cuck closet and the closet is tinder! 

So now I have more (potential) cucks lined up than I have time to actually meet. Interesting spot to be in. Who knows if any of them will turn out to be what I want and if there is some sort of off the charts chemistry, and who knows how many of them like the idea of it but can’t do it for real, I don’t know, but it’s a start anyways. 
Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 3

“I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelievable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.”

Anne

Here’s part 3 of Jay’s series on what it’s like to be a cuck in the dating scene. For this one he has interviewed his friend Anne. Anne is a married QoS and cuckoldress living in the North West who’s been very gracious to discuss her lifestyle. This is what she has to say:

J: Thank you so much for doing this!

A: Of course!

J: So why don’t you say a bit about yourself. I know we’ve known each other for a while but pretend like we’ve just met haha.

A: Well I’m 37, live in the Pacific North West. I’ve been married for about ten years now to my loving husband. We currently do not have any children though we would like to have a child in the near future. Although being childless at the moment allows us to put a lot of time into our very hectic work life.

J: Awesome. So could you explain the relationship dynamic you share with your husband?

A: Well Tom and I are in a female led relationship and along with being my loving husband, he is also my cuckold. It is absolutely not your typical relationship haha.

J: Can you describe how the relationship developed?

A: Sure. So I met Tom in college. We shared the same major, had a lot of classes together. He was very cute, and I actually approached him first haha. We ended up dating for about a year or so, but I started to lose attraction to him. It was a bit of an odd feeling as I really liked him but just didn’t want to be physical with him. I didn’t know how to end it, and being a stupid 21 year old, I cheated on him with a guy on the football team. I felt terrible, but our football team was one of the best in the nation, and the football players were basically celebrities on campus. Every girl was swooning after them. They were also way more masculine than Tom, I mean you’ve seen football players, they’re quite the physical specimens haha. And a 21 year old girl with options can’t help herself around guys like that.

J: So you cheated, and then what?

A: Well we broke up. It was a mutual breakup, but I felt so bad for Tom and I decided to remain friends. In the meanwhile, I began to see guys on the football team more frequently. I was especially attracted to some of the black guys on the team. I went to an all girls catholic high school and lived in a sheltered suburb growing up, so part of it was a novelty thing. But they also had a certain confidence that I never saw in white guys, I guess you could say a swagger. I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelievable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.

J:Ahh so that’s when you got hooked! I had always wondered haha.

A: Yup! So after college I began to work at an ad agency. Quickly worked my way up the ladder, which is super tough as a woman in that industry just so you know. But I eventually became a mid-level VP. Didn’t have boyfriend but I was still in contact with Tom. One day Tom said he was looking for a new job and I told him we were hiring. So he applied, and ended up getting the job. His very first day after work he asks me on a date, and we ended up completely rekindling what we used to have. I was in love with him, but the sex was such a let down. Tom has a very thin below average penis and just could not come anywhere close to providing the same sensations as the black guys I was with. He’s also only a few inches taller than me and has a slim build, and I’m a bit of a thick gal so I need a tall muscular guy in order to really be pushed around how I like to be. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I asked if he would be open to swinging. He said yes, and I was thrilled because I could finally get my BBC fix haha.

J: So how do you get from that to where you are now?

A: Well Tom quickly picked up on my affinity for black guys haha. We began to experiment and he allowed me to invite one of my favorite swinging partners into our bedroom for a threesome. I believe that’s when Tom began to see his place. I mean I could tell by the look in Tom’s eyes, he was intimidated by the other guy. And I could see his stomach drop when he got a look at my partner’s massive BBC. But it was funny cause I noticed that I was actually turned on by Tom being intimidated. In the past I felt bad about telling Tom about his shortcomings, but now it seemed to be a turn on. Looking back on it, I guess it was only natural. I mean I was essentially Tom’s boss and earned way more than him, I’d strut around the office in heels and tower over him, despite me cheating on him and breaking his heart he still wanted to be friends with me. So after that night I began to start seeing other guys on my own without Tom, and that more or less was the start of our current relationship. We didn’t make some grand decision to have a female led relationship, it was just very clear to the both of us that I was in charge. By the time I decided to marry him, I knew that I needed two kinds of men in my life. A man who I loved and could control, and a man who could control me. So Tom was perfect.

J: Wow that is kind of amazing haha. So what’s the relationship like now?

A: Oh I just wanna say something because I don’t want to come off as a bitch to the Internet haha. But I don’t mean to say that Tom is less of a man! He’s very smart, loving, ambitious, and kind which is what a man should be. He’s not a good sexual partner and many women would agree with me, but he’s not less of a man.

J: Well thank you for clearing that up, so what’s the relationship like now?

A: Well we have incorporated more femdom aspects over time. He is almost always in chastity. He gets a handjob once every two months but that depends on his behavior. Sex is never an option. When we decide to have kids obviously we’ll have sex but outside of that he will forever be celibate. I know sounds harsh but Tom is accepting of this. Hmm what else, well we’ve done strapon play at times and Tom does get spanked if he screws up haha. Since we don’t have kids I normally have a bull over three times a week but sometimes I’m so busy that I’ll go a few weeks without any action except for Tom’s tongue, which thankfully is fantastic haha. Other than that, my close group of friends know everything about our relationship, but outside of that small group we appear as a typical loving couple.

J: Well that was incredible to hear! Thank you so much for your time!

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

“But we are no longer cavemen, and in order to be an attractive cuck you must stop thinking with your dick. One main reason, as was stated in the last post, is that as a cuck, your gf or wife simply Does. Not. Care. About your dick.”

Jay

Here it is, the sequel to my friend Jay’s post Dating as a Cuck – Part 1. I absolutely love what he’s written, especially the last part about asking yourself that important question…. Enjoy!

Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

In my last post, I discussed the hard truths that one must come to terms with before beginning a relationship with a cuckoldress. If you’ve truly done the proper introspective work and decided that you are prepared, you’ve only begun half the necessary work.

In this post, I will discuss an important next step towards having a successful cuckold relationship. It is the process of dissociating yourself from your penis. This is actually something that all men should work on, but cuckolds especially.

You, the first time cuck, have gone nearly your entire life with the interests of your penis somewhere on your priority list. When you tried to sit next to that pretty girl in class, or when you caught yourself checking out your co-worker with the nice butt, or when you compulsively scrolled through dating apps, your penis was guiding your actions.

Now at a fundamental level, this is only natural. We men are hard wired to mate as often as possible with a wide range of mates. But we are no longer cavemen, and in order to be an attractive cuck you must stop thinking with your dick. One main reason, as was stated in the last post, is that as a cuck, your gf or wife simply Does. Not. Care. About your dick. When she imagines being intimate or romantic with you, your dick never enters her thoughts. She thinks about dicks that are much longer, thicker, last longer, and get harder than yours. But as a cuck your dick never enters your partner’s mind, so don’t let it enter yours either.

The other reason, is that separating yourself from your dick will actually make you a better person. There are numerous studies that demonstrate the positive effects of abstaining from masturbation. These include raised testosterone levels, increased productivity, increased mood, increased levels of motivation. These are things that any man should want! Stopping masturbation will also stop you from watching porn, which is terrible behavior for a cuck and creates an innacurate depiction of the cuckold lifestyle and women in general. So overall, you will become a better person in general.

So how do you do this? Of course its easier to talk about than actually doing it, but there are many methods and tricks to begin separating yourself from your dick. The easiest method is chastity. Talk to your partner about the need for chastity if they have not already. I recommend ordering a custom cage that will fit you properly. A proper fit should feel snug when you’re completely flaccid, you should not be able to achieve an erection of any kind while locked up.

Ceasing masturbation and porn viewing is another method. Porn often triggers masturbation, so abstaining from adult websites can immensely improve your ability to separate yourself from your dick. The last method, is pure willpower. Really think about how badly you want to be a cuck, and how great your life will be improved with a cuckoldress in it. Think about that every time you get the urge to touch yourself.

This is one of the most fundamental steps to becoming a true cuck, and there’s an easy test to give yourself to figure out if you’re closer to becoming that ideal cuck. When you think about cuckolding, do you become aroused and get the urge to touch yourself? Or do you get a rush of warm emotions, and think about sharing a special powerful bond with your loved one? Be honest with yourself, and do the proper work to become a better boyfriend, cuck, and overall person.

Jay

How to catch a goddess 

“This is not the time to be passive, even if your nature is to be. Treat this challenge with the same level of intensity, assertiveness, and vigor, as if it was that dream job you are striving for and this is the all important make it or break it interview.”

Venus

You want a female centered or female led relationship with a beautiful, powerful, goddess of a woman right? Well let’s say you find one who is incredible and you want to date her. Now what do you need to do to make it happen? Here’s some advice about what you can do to really stand out from the rest and make a great impression from the start so pay attention, make notes, and then get to it!

1. Make an impression immediately 

Give her compliments, tell her you’re serious about your intentions, and ask her what you can do in order to stand out from the rest of the guys pursuing her. Sweep her off her feet right from the first day. 

2. Pay careful attention to her:

Listen carefully to what she says. Pick up on her likes, her dislikes, her preferences, favorite things, birthdays, etc. make getting to know everything about her your most important priority. Learn about what kinds of things or services she needs help with in her life right now. 

3. Be bold:

This is not the time to be passive, even if your nature is to be. Treat this challenge with the same level of intensity, assertiveness, and vigor, as if it was that dream job you are striving for and this is the all important make it or break it interview. Dress your best, smell great, pull out all the shots and be on point all the time. Be creative and driven. This is your one chance so don’t blow it. 

4. Give her what she needs and wants:

This is great advice so listen up… Instead of asking her what you can do for her, learn about what she needs and give it to her. She will be filled with gratitude. Does she hate doing housework? Hire a cleaning company to do it for her once a week. Does she have a sore back from her stressful job? Provide for her financially so she doesn’t have to work then send her to the spa regularly for massages. Is she overwhelmed with looking after the kids? Hire a nanny to help her out. Do not hesitate to do these things for her. Do it today. 

5. Shower her with thoughtful gifts:

Every girl appreciates a surprise gift, goddesses even more so. Send her flowers, her favorite perfume, a gift card for new lingerie, whatever…just send her something you think she might like. If her birthday is coming up then for sure do not forget to send her a gift. Neglecting to do so on her birthday or other special occasion would be inexcusable. 

6. Always follow through with what you say you will do:

Your word must be absolutely solid. If you say you will call her or text her every night before bed then make sure you do it. Every night. Before bed. Every time. Don’t say you will do something and then fail to do it, for whatever reason. If you feel like you might not be able to keep your promise, then tell her before you fuck up. 

7. Make her a priority:

Yes your work is likely stressful and work days are probably long more often than not, but it only takes 10 seconds to send her a text to say something short and sweet. Don’t let long periods go by without reminding her how much she means to you. If you’re thinking about her, tell her. A goddess deserves attention all the time. She wants it. Give it to her. 

8. Adore everything about her:

Love her fiercely, admire her unique qualities, respect her power and authority, and desire her every minute of every day. She is the centre of your universe. 

9. Be dedicated to her happiness:

When she is happy, you are happy therefore you do whatever it takes to ensure that her wants and needs are met. This starts from the moment you meet her and continues, without wavering, throughout. She will forever love you for it. 

10. Be of service to her:

Practice chivalry, hold open the door for her, carry her bags, anticipate when she will need your help with something. Don’t wait for her to ask you for help with something. Pamper her and tend to her needs. Run her errands for her, pour her bath for her, and be useful around the house. 

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Dating as a Cuck – Part 1

“But what if you actually do meet a cuckoldress who’s interested in you and wants to date you? You better truly be a cuck, because if you’re in all of this to satisfy some fetish, it will never ever work out. If arousal is motivating you to date a cuckoldress, you’ll be sadly disappointed.”

Jay

You’ve all read about how difficult it’s been for me to find a good cuck boyfriend especially locally, so I decided to get some perspective on dating from a cuck friend of mine about what it’s like to try and find a cuckoldress in the dating world. I figure all of you cucks might enjoy reading about what he’s gone through and maybe relate to his experiences or learn a thing or two as well.

Jay is 27, lives in the Pacific Northwest, and had this to say about dating as a cuck:

“As a 27 year old cuck, attempting to date is a very daunting process. The pool of women who would even consider you is quite small, and if you don’t live in a major city, you might be completely out of luck. There’s an issue with age, as the many women looking for a cuck tend to be older. So if you’re looking for someone younger, or you find someone older and they’re looking for a cuck their age, then things become so much more difficult. You might have to rely on internet dating, and end up finding someone who’s perfect for you but lives hours away or perhaps on the other side of the country. And sometimes when all else fails, you might have to just settle for vanilla dating, and hope the other woman agrees to take on your lifestyle”

“But what if you actually do meet a cuckoldress who’s interested in you and wants to date you? You better truly be a cuck, because if you’re in all of this to satisfy some fetish, it will never ever work out. If arousal is motivating you to date a cuckoldress, you’ll be sadly disappointed. A cuckoldress wants her cuck to be happy and satisfied, but the last thing she could ever care about is your sexual satisfaction. If you actually do end up in a relationship, there’s a good chance she won’t want to have sex with you. There’s also a good chance she will never want to see your cock unless it’s locked up. As someone that has been in a few cuckold relationships, don’t even schedule that first date if you’re not prepared to accept the fact that your cock will be locked up as long as you are in that relationship. You better also try to understand what it’s like to truly be emasculated. She’s going to find men who are more handsome, more muscular, taller, and far more hung than you. They will sexually arouse your girlfriend more than you ever will, and they will give her more pleasure than you ever will. So before you even begin dating, there is a big decision you must make for yourself.”

 

What the fuck is wrong with cucks?

“I have absolutely no interest in being someone’s online fantasy cuckoldress and I’d really like to not waste any more time with this so this shit is really getting annoying as fuck!”

Venus

Today I’m feeling annoyed as fuck. And given that the reason behind that has to do with the cuck relationship in my life, I feel the need to vent a bit here. Not just to complain, but to seek answers. I genuinely need to know why this seems to be a phenomenon within many of the cuckolds who I’ve met.

Cuckold couples normally consist of a solid serious relationship, usually a long term committed couple or a married couple. For me, it needs to be that way because it’s that close emotional connection between us where all of the magic happens. To put it simply, this is not something I can do casually with someone. I’m looking for my life partner, not just dating for fun.

I get a lot of attention from cucks all over the world, who want to have a relationship with me. Apparently single cuckoldresses are even more rare than single cucks around here…. You’d think that this would be a good thing for me, which it is nice to have so many options, but it also takes a lot of time to sort through all of the emails and messages. Every person falls on a different part of the cuckolding spectrum and it takes several questions and answers back and forth to find out if what I’m looking for fits with what he’s looking for. It’s also tricky to find someone whom I have some sort of connection with and who I find attractive. Really sometimes I think I might need a personal assistant to help me!

So I happen to find one who I think might work out for me and he seems like he’s serious about everything. Great right? Yes. I’m happy, he’s happy, and we begin to make plans to move forward. Then suddenly he gets cold feet. He’s scared, terrified, or whatever I don’t know. He says things like it’s a vulnerable position being a cuckold and it takes some courage to actually live that life. Despite my best efforts to reassure him that it will all be good, he continues to drag his feet….something I have very little patience for.

Fantasizing about being cuckolded by your girlfriend or wife must be really hot, and it seems like this is a big thing for cucks out there. But within the past 9 months this has happened 3 times where the cuck is too terrified to make that fantasy become a reality. I have absolutely no interest in being someone’s online fantasy cuckoldress and I’d really like to not waste any more time with this so this shit is really getting annoying as fuck!

My question to the other cuckoldresses out there is: Is this something you’ve experienced as well? And my question to the cucks out there: What are your thoughts on this?

Venus xo

February 24, 2016 UPDATE

Thank you to all of the people who have commented and emailed me about this post. I’ve really appreciated hearing about this from your perspective and it’s helped me be able to sort it out a bit better in my head. Yes it seems like some are just more comfortable living this life in fantasy, and some are more brave and willing to make it into something real life. From what I’ve heard, these types of relationships start off as something very vanilla and work up to cuckolding later on.

I guess that’s where this situation for me is different. I’m looking to find my cuck match right up front and the vanilla stuff fall into place afterwards. I can understand how that lack of an established relationship base can make things feel unstable for a cuck especially right in the beginning and that might be what contributed to the problem. It might have something to do with that all three cucks lived far from me so it was a long distance relationship in the beginning as well – something that’s never easy.

Something I would like to make clear about this post though, is that over the past 9 months I have been pursued by, and considered dating, several other cucks – some of whom were very serious about a relationship and would not have had cold feet at any point. While I totally appreciated this from them, I just didn’t feel the connection I needed so didn’t pursue a relationship with them but I want to mention it so it’s clear that there are some really great cucks out there despite my challenges with a few others.

For now, I’ve given up on trying to date cucks long distance. It’s a lot of effort and the relationship stability just isn’t there for this kind of lifestyle. I really feel like the intimacy and trust that’s built in this kind of thing needs to be established in person.

I am optimistic though that I will find my cuck….it just might take a little longer.

Venus xo