Love of the lock and key

“I’m here to say YES it is possible for you to lock up and YES you can do it and believe it or not you will actually appreciate it in a way you never thought was possible.”

Venus

There are some aspects of cuckolding relationships that I admit, some people think of as ‘extreme’. Chastity is one of them. I’m a fan. I love holding keys.

Nothing scares a guy more than the mention of chastity. It’s an automatic response: “There’s no way I could do that.”. I think it’s funny that’s always the exact reaction followed by “I need to jerk off every day – it just would never work.”. I’m here to say YES it is possible for you to lock up and YES you can do it and believe it or not you will actually appreciate it in a way you never thought was possible.

Because chastity is way more of a mental challenge than a physical one – for me and for you. The first few days are going to be the most challenging and I hate this part. You’re going to be anxious, needy, and probably going to be getting on my nerves. Luckily after a few weeks you figure it out and get used to being locked. You start to feel more mentally focused, on work and on me and things in your life other than jerking off have more importance to you now. After a few months (or sooner) you begin to feel like the cage is part of your body and part of who you are. Being unlocked is great but you actually want to be locked up again – yes believe me on this one!

For me, I will always remember the first time I held keys. It felt like I had so much power and control knowing I could lock or unlock him at any time. I would wear them on a chain around my neck and occasionally casually touch the key with my hand and think about his cage so snug and tight…I loved it. I’ve held keys for a few people since and the longest I’ve kept someone locked has been about 3 months although the length of time is not as important to me as us together enjoying the time he’s locked.

Having said all of that I want to stress the importance of investing in a good quality chastity cage. Don’t waste your time and money on an off the shelf cheap made in China cage. It will pinch or rub in all the wrong places and it will probably break in no time. I would recommend a custom made stainless steel cage. You can take some careful measurements and then have one made exactly the right size. You’ll likely never need to buy another cage after that.

For the women and men out there who are at least curious about chastity I would say do some research about it, talk to some people who have done it, and try it. Trust me – you’ll love it.

Venus xo

P.S. I’ve added some of my favourite chastity photos to the Venus Vault! Don’t have access? Become a Patron of the Venus Cuckoldress blog and get access to the Venus Vault for private NSFW photos.

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Truth and jealousy

“Cuckolding demands a high level of trust and communication and it continually challenges it in many ways. If there is the slightest waver, it will all eventually come crashing down. It’s no wonder most cuckold relationships begin with an already established and committed long term bond- it’s necessary.”

Venus

The complicated emotions involved in a cuckold relationship is what makes it so complex and beautiful. It’s a roller coaster of emotions and feelings, some lasting a moment, and some linger for days, but all are necessary to maintain that incredible bond between each other.

Trust is the most important aspect that anchors a cuckold relationship. If I can’t trust him then there’s no moving on from that. No cuckold relationship can function properly without a solid foundation built on trust – trust you give each other again and again without question. Trust should be a silent steady comfort, something that is a gift you give despite being vulnerable for it. Cuckolding demands a high level of trust and communication and it continually challenges it in many ways. If there is the slightest waver, it will all eventually come crashing down. It’s no wonder most cuckold relationships begin with an already established and committed long term bond- it’s necessary. From what I have heard, women are most likely to make mistakes when it comes to trust in a cuckold relationship.

Many people think that jealousy is a normal part of cuckolding – I disagree. Cuck angst is that beautiful dance of emotions…jealousy, sexual attraction, love, and anxiety, that cucks feel when the woman they love engages with another man and it’s quite different from jealousy alone. Jealousy is a negative emotion. It complicates and erodes relationships and with it the trust is lost as well. This can be a common mistake that cucks make when they are new in a cuckold relationship. Navigating this emotion can be really difficult and that’s part of why I always say that despite people thinking cucks are weak, they actually are incredibly strong – they have to be. It’s not easy!

Venus xo

The reality of cuckolding

“The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story.”

Venus

I love cuckolding so much because of how emotional it is on so many levels. It takes a solid relationship built on trust and an emotionally strong cuck to navigate the roller coaster of thoughts and feelings that come along with it. It also takes a woman who understands the difference between love and sex and who takes pride in her own sexuality.

When people think about cuckolding, often they picture a guy watching his wife having sex with someone else. Some might even imagine it involving some humiliation. But there’s so much more to that limited scenario. The beauty of cuckolding relationships that I love the most is the subtle flirting, a quick glance, a suggesting text message, or sometimes it’s just body language that tells a story. It’s the careful consideration of choosing the right heels for the occasion, or a simple comment that teases. To me, those are the most fun.

It’s those things that I wish more people could understand and experience but unfortunately with the shitty online representation of cuckolding everywhere including in mainstream porn, all of this seems to be missing so no wonder people don’t think about those aspects of a cuckolding relationship. Too much cuck fantasy shit out there and not enough reality based conversation about what it’s actually like.

Cuckolding relationships are sexy as fuck, loving, creative, bonding, trusting, and rare. I may not be able to reach women with this blog but at least I can speak to the truth about what cuckolding relationships are all about and that’s something that I think many people could benefit from.

Venus xo

Cuckolding – get it right

“Yes cuckolding is a broad spectrum with different aspects intertwined however from one end to the next, the foundation of it all is a real relationship between two people in love and that’s what makes it so special – even magical.”

Venus

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how cuckolding is portrayed online and the widespread misunderstandings about it so I’ve been giving some thought to what I feel is the most accurate definition of cuckolding and also of what I believe cuckolding definitely is not.

First of all, I realize this may be controversial to some but I believe cuckolding does not belong in a fetish list, BDSM page, or kink collection. Cuckolding is an actual relationship. Let me explain…

Cuckolding is a loving, long term, and committed relationship. It’s a consensual one-sided non monogamous relationship where both people give each other everything they need to feel fulfilled and trusted. It’s a beautiful relationship dynamic that is emotional, thrilling, and so wonderfully intense. It only works when it’s an real relationship – otherwise it is meaningless.

Having said all of that, this is what cuckolding is not: cuckolding is not some random guy asking a random woman if he can watch her fuck another guy. Cuckolding is not findoms who demand financial slavery from submissive men or use or abuse them to manipulate them – consensual or not, this is NOT cuckolding. Cuckolding is also not meeting up with a femdom ‘mistress’ for a night so the two of you can play out a cuckolding fantasy together.

Unfortunately the real meaning of cuckolding has been heavily distorted by the inaccurate portrayal in mainstream porn coupled with the femdom/findom women using the cuckoldress label for their own profit, and that’s really sad because that’s not what it’s about at all. I feel bad for the people who are just beginning to learn about cuckolding and are bombarded with these false narratives and it’s no wonder so many women are turned off by cuckolding when they happen to go online to try to learn about it.

Yes cuckolding is a broad spectrum with different aspects intertwined however from one end to the next, the foundation of it all is a real relationship between two people in love and that’s what makes it so special – even magical. So let’s get it straight: that’s the part that we all should celebrate , educate, and promote.

Venus xo

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Cuck fear

“Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.”

Venus

I’ve  been wanting to write about this for quite some time now; cuck fear. It’s real . It’s overwhelming. It paralyzes.

I’ve talked to hundreds of cucks over the past three years and I’ve noticed that the biggest fear most of them have is the risk of anyone find out about their cuck side. Aside from that I’ve noticed that they are also afraid that their wife/girlfriend will fall in love with a bull and leave them. Both of these are legitimate fears and I can totally understand why these would be a major area of concern but when it comes to the need for discretion and privacy, I have a few things to say about that.

I want cucks to stop worrying so much about people finding out. So many of them say they want everything to appear “normal” to everyone else and the cuckolding part be something “behind closed doors”.  When I ask why they all say things like it’s embarrassing for guys to be viewed as a cuck, they think they’ll lose their job or their friends, they will basically  lose respect from people who they care about. I totally get it – no one wants to go through that however I think the reality is actually much different from the fear.

I don’t necessarily want people to know everything about my personal life but I don’t want to live in fear of people finding out about who I am and I do not want to feel ashamed about who I am and my relationship dynamic. I am proud of who I am, how I’ve grown, how I know what I want, and most of all I’m passionate about cuckolding relationships. I’ve lived it and experienced it for the beautiful, incredible, and magical love that it is. Why would I be ashamed of that?

Sure guys might feel embarrassed about it and they tell me it’s different for guys because they face more backlash from people because guys are supposed to be the opposite of a cuckold – that’s society’s expectation of them. Yeah I understand that but really I think women get the brunt of the judgment from ignorant people. Slut shaming is everywhere and it’s relentless.  For a lot of women there’s nothing worse than being regarded as a slut or a whore.

What lots of cucks don’t realize is that open relationships are “out there” and accepted more than ever right now. Whether it be couples who swing, polyamorous couples, or one sided open relationships like cuckolding, people are way more open about it now than ever  before.  Just go on Tinder and see how many people are open about it on their profiles. Happy couples being open about who they are and it’s all okay – it’s a beautiful thing. Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.

I think by hiding in the cuck closet with the door firmly locked, we are making things worse. My hope is that people learn more about this relationship dynamic and ultimately understand it better and perhaps society will one day accept it as something that certainly is “outside of the box” but still a legitimately loving relationship where both people are happy and fulfilled.

What really  needs to happen is cucks needs to take some risks and just be proud of who they are. Baby steps and we will get there…

Venus xo

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