The art of the tease

This post was originally published in ASN Lifestyle Magazine

People often ask me what kind of cuckolding scenario I prefer: him in the room watching, him listening, or him hearing about it from me when I get home. Although all of those scenarios are really sexy and fun, there is one that stands out from the rest – him hearing about it later. I feel like many women and men can relate to how sexy that is. There’s something about it that is just so incredibly hot: the tease. 

She goes into detail about her encounter and he’s listening so very carefully to every word she says. He notices how the look on her face changes when she tells him about a certain part of the night. It sends massive amounts of testosterone throughout his body as he is picturing her beautiful body being taken by another man. He’s highly aroused, focused, and wanting her badly. His body is aching for her. She sees the way he is reacting to her story and she can’t help but embrace the position she is in. She realizes her power to influence his reaction solely with her words, with her tone, and with her body language. Hmmm this could be a fun game.

People often link cuckolding relationships with the idea of harmful cruel humiliation and for the most part want nothing to do with it, and hey I can understand that. But the reality is, most loving cuckolding relationships that I’ve come across don’t have any overt humiliation. For most of the couples I’ve spoken to it’s more of a fun game of sexy teasing which is received in a playful and caring way. Just like other fun bedroom games, teasing (even just the scenario above) is a way to keep things fun and interesting – as long as both people enjoy it. 

It’s common for women to struggle with the idea of teasing their partner sexually. Safety is a big reason, both personal safety and safety of the relationship. They are very concerned about it possibly making their partner feel bad about themselves or it damaging the relationship. The key is communication. There needs to be a discussion around this. If he gets turned on by her teasing him, he needs to explain that it’s not damaging for him, that it instead is a turn on for him and he enjoys it. He needs to tell her exactly what kind of teasing he likes. It could be size comparison, stamina difference, sexual styles etc. She needs to trust that he won’t react badly or weaponize it against her and that if ever it becomes too much, they will be able to talk about it together. It takes time and practice for women to begin to enjoy teasing their partner in a loving way – I mean sometimes it’s years until she feels comfortable with it. It takes a certain amount of sexual assertiveness to learn the art of the tease and for many women that doesn’t come naturally. 

There are great little ways to introduce teasing in a loving relationship. Some of my favorites are sending him screenshots of your conversations with your bull or sending him photos or videos of your encounters. Sending him these while he is busy at work is especially fun because he will have to hide his excitement from everyone around him and he will be thinking about it all day long. Sending a quick little voice clip of you talking about one of your favorite bull encounters detailing why it was so different from your partner would also be really fun. And of course just like above, talking to him all about your experience once you come home is so thrilling. 

To enjoy all of it she needs to enjoy seeing the reaction it has on him. She needs to love seeing him turned on in that way and when you think of it, if teasing him is what he really wants, then you can feel good about it knowing that you are helping fulfill your partner’s sexual needs – and no matter what kind of relationship it is, that’s important!

Contrary to what most mainstream porn portrays, many cuckolding relationships are loving committed couples who like to play a little with sexual teasing. It’s not cruel. It’s not damaging. It’s fun and sexy and I encourage everyone to approach teasing/humiliation with an open mind. Who knows…you might end up learning to love it! 

Venus xo

The massive appeal of cuckolding

By Venus Cuckoldress 

This article was originally published in ASN Lifestyle Magazine

Cuckolding is hotter today than ever. It might surprise you that a recent survey conducted by Dr. Justin Lehmiller revealed 58% of men and about a third of all women in America had fantasized about cuckolding. That’s a lot of you reading this right now who have fantasies that include cuckolding! Why is that? What exactly is the appeal of cuckolding for so many couples? I’m not an expert or a scholar but over the years I have developed a few hunches as to what may explain the fascination with this taboo relationship dynamic.

For women perhaps it’s the idea of having your cake and eating it too. A loving cuckolding relationship means you get all of the benefits of a loving and supportive husband but you also get to explore new sexual experiences with other partners, all while involving your husband in some way (him watching, listening, or hearing about it later). The part worth celebrating the most however, is how all of that results in a huge boost of sexual confidence for her – knowing other men find her sexy, flirting and enjoying that sexual energy, and enjoying the fact that she gets to have these experiences while her husband prefers to stay monogamous to her. It’s about her and they both love it that way.

For men though….why would they want to have an adulterous wife? What would be in it for him? It turns out, a lot. 

Recently I interviewed Dr. David Ley on The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast to talk about the shame that often accompanies these fantasies that men have about cuckolding. Interestingly he mentioned a study he did with Dan Savage and Dr. Justin Lehmiller where they received data from PornHub and Google Trends about the rising popularity of the cuckolding fantasy. That data revealed that searches for cuckolding were higher in countries with more traditional ideas about masculinity (where men are expected to be macho). He explained that the messages men receive from society (about how a real man’s wife would never cheat on him) actually amplify the appeal of cuckolding because it makes it more “naughty”. It’s that taboo nature of it that makes it so exciting; you desire what you aren’t supposed to want and the more you fight those cuckolding desires the more you end up wanting it. 

That same study was also referenced in a CNN article that talked about how couples who act on cuckolding fantasies together often find it to be a positive experience for them. This echoes what more and more voices are saying in the cuckolding lifestyle through blogs and podcasts, that cuckolding relationships built on trust, love, and communication, can bring next level connection and lifelong thrilling adventures. There are so many benefits!

It’s not just the taboo nature of it that lures men in though, there are actually biochemical responses that happen when a man thinks about his wife fucking another man. This was explained by a physician friend of mine in a recent post he wrote for the Venus Cuckoldress Blog. He was highlighting the health benefits of cuckolding and explained that when a man thinks of his wife with another man, his testosterone, oxytocin, and serotonin increases. His drive is higher because he is competing for his wife. Who knew right? But what’s really fascinating to me is that within cuckolding specifically, this rise in testosterone is even higher! Now that might explain why so many men report the most powerful and intense orgasms when thinking about cuckolding fantasies.

Despite all of the research studies and expert assessments though there’ve been other indicators that cuckolding has been growing substantially in popularity since I started in this lifestyle 6 years ago. For nearly all of the guest appearances I’ve made on podcasts over that time span, I have often received a message from the hosts afterwards saying my episode was their most downloaded episode to date. Combine that feedback with both my blog tipping over one million views and my podcast trending in the top 1.5% stats worldwide, and really it’s undeniable – cuckolding relationships have a massive global appeal. And that’s great because as long as people are able to learn and understand the real beauty and complexities of this kind of relationship, more and more people will have the opportunity to try it for themselves. 

Cuckolding is love.

That time his girlfriend entered him into a small penis contest…

Yeah you read the title correctly – she really did enter him into a small penis contest. And where do they even have these competitions right?? So many questions…

Venus sits down with her long time cuck friend Jay to talk about how he dove head first right into the deep end of a cuckolding relationship with his girlfriend in college – and she REALLY got into it! When it comes to teasing and humiliation she really does deserve a trophy. Jay also talks about some common cuck hang-ups and how to “lean into the angst” in a way that makes it more comfortable.


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Cuckolding is love

This article was originally posted in the August 2021 edition of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.

Cuckolding is Love

Cuckolding relationships are next-level love, trust, and connection. To some people that may seem like a bold statement…maybe even unbelievable, but take my word on this – truly magical shit happens within a loving cuckolding relationship. Once I experienced exactly that, I made it my mission to share this incredibly beautiful relationship dynamic with the world – especially with women.

It all started 6 years ago. Through a dating app I met a guy who told me he would be happiest if he was monogamous to me and I was not to him – basically a one sided open relationship. He celebrated the sexual side of me (which before him was rarely celebrated without judgment or  jealousy) and he absolutely loved me for it. This was absolutely astounding to me! This kind of relationship seemed to fit exactly who I was and that felt like a huge relief to find something so right and yet up until then I didn’t even know it existed. I wondered how many other women would benefit from learning about this kind of relationship.

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. Sure it was so very hot to talk about cuckolding fantasies together, and so fun to tease him by sending him photos and videos of me with other men, but the first time I had him listen on the phone… that’s when it all changed. 

I happened to find an experienced bull and arranged a hotel night where I would have the phone near me and my boyfriend listen. It wasn’t my first time meeting someone new so that didn’t make me nervous, but I have to admit…having him listen was new and did give me butterflies. This part was new and exciting for me. 

In my mind I thought the night would go predictably – hot, fun, and memorable – but it was entirely something else. It was a mind-blowing, life changing event.

There really is something magical that happens when you involve someone you love in a situation like that. I held the phone close when I dropped to my knees and worshipped that big black dick in front of me. He heard everything, every gasp I made, every word I whispered, and I could just imagine what was going through his mind. It was thrilling. It was intense. He loved me so much for being in that position, for including him in that way, for making him feel that way…the way only a cuck would feel. It was the ultimate expression of love, emotional intimacy and trust – next level shit. And afterwards we enjoyed a kind of euphoric high that lasted for days…it was something I will never ever forget and it’s the reason why I could never go back to any other kind of relationship. 

It’s that emotional dance between both of you that makes cuckolding so wonderful. It’s not role play, it’s not hotwifing, it’s not BDSM, it’s deep mind-bending hot-as-fuck cuckolding love and it only works in a loving relationship. Sure it’s fun to be able to fuck other guys and still have a loving committed partner to come home to, someone who wants to stay faithful to you because their passion is seeing you happy and sexually fulfilled, but it’s the confidence and sexual empowerment naturally gifted to her which is life changing and is everything so many women want, need, and deserve. 

Trust her. Love her. Give her the gift of sexual exploration. Celebrate the allure of her unrestrained sexuality. Witness her transformation and relish in her new-found sexual prowess. It’s about her. And in return of that gift there will be no limit to her love and gratitude for you. Let her sit in the driver’s seat and take the wheel. This journey is yours together. Enjoy the ride.

Venus Cuckoldress

New Matchmaking Service for Loving Cuckolding Relationships!

We are so happy to announce that there is FINALLY a matchmaking service for single women and single men who are looking for a loving cuckolding relationship! It’s safe, private, and individualized for what you are looking for. It also includes a 3 week educational program and an interview with Venus and best of all, it’s a one time membership fee so no monthly fees!

Women you no longer have to wade through a see of mostly empty profiles and deal with the online creeps! With Venus Connections you will be safe, protected, and all of the candidates you can be confident are serious and committed to wanting this as much as you do! Women also get a really great discount on membership fees – just email for details.

Men you no longer have to deal with the fake profiles and gold-digger women out there who just want to use you or extort you – not to mention the fake profiles too! You can just sit back and let us do the searching for you!

Learn more at and we would really LOVE it if you could share the news about Venus Connection with others!