Gangbangs, setting the mood, and race play with Pagan of The4WhoresMen

He had so many couples contacting him that there just wasn’t enough of him to go around. So to share the love he put together a list of guys who he had already vetted and who met the criteria for intimate gangbangs. That’s how The4WhoresMen was founded.

He’s an experienced black bull in the cuckolding lifestyle and has a particular love for interracial cuckolding (sexy!) and he’s here to talk about race-play, gangbangs, and how to set the mood just right (which by the way, he is kind of expert-level!).

It’s a fun, thought provoking, and very sexy episode!

Pagan on Twitter: @PaganBlackBull and @PaganAndT4WM
Pagan’s soundtrack favourites: FKA Twigs and QsensX

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New Matchmaking Service for Loving Cuckolding Relationships!

We are so happy to announce that there is FINALLY a matchmaking service for single women and single men who are looking for a loving cuckolding relationship! It’s safe, private, and individualized for what you are looking for. It also includes a 3 week educational program and an interview with Venus and best of all, it’s a one time membership fee so no monthly fees!

Women you no longer have to wade through a see of mostly empty profiles and deal with the online creeps! With Venus Connections you will be safe, protected, and all of the candidates you can be confident are serious and committed to wanting this as much as you do! Women also get a really great discount on membership fees – just email for details.

Men you no longer have to deal with the fake profiles and gold-digger women out there who just want to use you or extort you – not to mention the fake profiles too! You can just sit back and let us do the searching for you!

Learn more at and we would really LOVE it if you could share the news about Venus Connection with others!

Cucks are their own worst enemy

“They’re focusing entirely on the sexual acts/fantasies of cuckolding and haven’t stopped to realize that they only know about 2% of what cuckolding really is, and they will never know because they will never experience a real loving cuckold relationship, and all because they will never even learn how to approach women with respect and simply focus on building something real.”


There’s no way around it – this post is going to sound like I’m shitting on cucks. Sorry in advance.

First let me start out by saying that over the years I have met some couples and single cucks who I love and adore and whose friendships will likely last a lifetime and I’m so grateful to have met these beautiful, respectful, classy people but this post is about the countless number of cucks who are out there behaving like morons. This one is for you.

Today I came across a woman around the same age as me who is trying to navigate the dating world of single cucks and let’s just say, it sucks. Her stories are all too familiar to me; single cucks are forever stuck with one foot outside of the cuck closet and unable to get the courage to come on out and experience this beautiful relationship for what it is, and they are obsessed with using her as a temporary fetish dispenser so they can endlessly jerk off about it. This bad behaviour is an epidemic going on within this lifestyle and it’s not good for anyone but especially detrimental to women who have the courage to want this kind of relationship.

Imagine being a single woman and putting yourself out there, seeking this kind of relationship and being bombarded online by cucks who seem interested but really are only interested in using you for jerk off material. All they want to do is ask you a thousand questions about how you would cuck them so they can get all hot and bothered and rub one out again and again – they’re not going to ask her anything else, not get to know her, not treat her like an actual person. That alone is enough for a woman to say fuck it and never come back to this. But no, she also has to deal with the usual catfish, crazy stalkers, and married guys pretending to be single. But the worst of it is…when she finds a guy who she really likes and when it comes time to meet…poof he’s gone. He locked himself firmly into the cuck closet again, never to be heard from again. Over and over again she has experienced this and the stories from other women are similar across the board.

I get it – cuckolding is hot as fuck. Obviously I get that. But for fuck’s sakes can’t more people online give it some credibility and make it more about dating or relationships than just porn?? Just look at what kind of environment has been created online – it’s a sea of male fantasy bullshit driven porn – certainly not female friendly in any way. No fucking wonder there aren’t more women into this. No fucking wonder wives are hesitant to even consider it. No wonder guys don’t take it seriously. For example there are married cucks online posting naked pics of their wives (faces and personal info) in chat rooms just for the purpose of jerking off when a bull makes comments about it. I seriously fucking doubt the wife has consented! What in the actual fuck are you doing to your relationship, the disrespect for your wife, the perception of cuckolding relationships to anyone who sees that??

So many cucks are just mentally warped by the heroin for masturbation which is all over the internet and it’s created a rampant toxic cuck mentality and that is now a massive turn off for women. They’re making the mistake of focusing entirely on the sexual acts/fantasies of cuckolding and haven’t stopped to realize that they only know about 2% of what cuckolding really is, and they will never know because they will never experience a real loving cuckold relationship, and all because they will never even learn how to approach women with respect and simply focus on building something real.

A big part of what I do is talk about cuckolding relationships so that women will consider it as a valid relationship option and yet I also feel sorry for the women who decide to do just that. I cringe to think about what it’s going to be like for them once they go through what the rest of us go through and I just pray that they won’t give up on it.

Cucks need to set the bar higher for each other, stop acting like fantasy driven pigs, and ask yourself how you are contributing to this on a bigger level. Either that or stop complaining to me about how it’s so hard to find women who are looking for a cuck relationship – I don’t want to fucking hear it anymore.

Venus xo

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“How do I get my wife into this?”

“First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer.”


It’s the million dollar question I get asked all the time and I never have a really good answer for it. But for this blog post I will try my best to address this for all of you husbands out there.

Nearly all cuckolding relationships start out with a long term relationship where the husband approaches the wife with the idea – I don’t know why but that’s the usual beginnings of it. Rarely a wife will bring it up with her husband, and even more rare is when a relationship starts out with two people who are looking for a cuckold relationship. Sometimes it happens when the wife cheats and there is a discussion to try cuckolding after that but that’s not all that common either.

So it’s usually a case where the husband is wondering how to approach his wife about it or he has and she is not on board and he wants to know how to “convince” her. No wonder I get asked about it so often.

First of all let me say that I believe this is not going to be right for most women. It takes a certain kind of woman to love this and want it for the rest of her life and odds are that won’t be your wife so be prepared for that answer. As hard as that answer is to hear, you need to ask yourself if you will be okay with that result (it’s just not for her) and then ask yourself what that ultimately means for you. Can you be happy without it or is this something that you need long term to feel fulfilled? Those are tough questions that you will need to address. Also be prepared to accept that she may be open to trying it but not likely to love it in a way that will see her participate long term.

If you are not sure how to approach her then start working on communication in your relationship. If you’re not sure how to do that then perhaps seek some help from a counselor or therapist who is open minded to these kinds of relationship dynamics. Communication skills in a relationship are fundamental and worth the time and money you invest into it and sexual compatibility is just as important as love, trust, and connection so make it a top priority.

Do not approach it like it’s something weird – talk about it as something that bonds and connects you. Make it less about the sex with others and more about the experiences you are creating together. This is a journey you would like to take with her so let her know that she is in the driver’s seat – this is about her and the love you feel when she is able to fully express her sexuality, feel desired, and be completely sexually fulfilled.

If you’ve talked to her and she wants to do some research online please tell her to be careful or at least guide her in the right direction. Mainstream cuck porn is not what she needs to watch (it’s unrealistic garbage), amature is better but still doesn’t portray what’s really happening, and Tumblr and Twitter is just going to be a sea of jerk off material for fantasy driven cucks and a bizarre collection of findom factories spewing out some false narrative about slave cuckolding – all of which will make her run in the other direction.

If she is still interested and wants to learn more, it would be wise to try and connect with other couples in your area or online who she can feel comfortable talking to. Friendships between women in this lifestyle are priceless. Do whatever you can to help her form friendships so she can feel like she can ask questions to someone other than you. Trust me she will appreciate this.

Lastly, don’t pressure her. This is what I hear a lot from husbands, that they continue to try all sorts of tactics to “convince” her. I swear if that was me I would be so annoyed. Give her some space and time and opportunities to think about what you’re proposing. It can be a big decision for her so respect that. And remember, it might just not be something she will ever want. You may have to accept that.

Venus xo

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Your cuckolding questions answered

“I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.”


So recently I asked my readers what they would like to ask me about cuckolding relationships and I received so many responses. Here are most of them:

Q. I’m interested in learning about the early days. What go you into cuckolding? Who convinced who to try it and how?

A. The second post I ever wrote on this blog discussed who and how I got into cuckolding. I had a profile on Tinder in 2015 that explained how I didn’t want monogamy. I matched with a guy who obviously liked that part of me. Shortly after that he slowly started explaining cuckolding to me. I immediately loved it. I never hesitated or looked back. Here’s the full story:

Q. What do you think is the most misunderstood part of cuckolding?

A. So many things… I think the biggest misunderstanding is that it’s some kind of weird kinky fetish. It’s not. It’s a real relationship which isn’t that different from any other kind of non-monogamous relationship. Also people assume that a cuck is some kind of pathetic loser, and that’s bullshit. To be a cuck in a relationship like this requires emotional strength like no other and there is always love and respect no matter what kind of humiliation is dished out.

Q. What’s the one thing you wish every wannabe cuckold knew?

A. Good question. I wish every wannabe cuck knew that 98% of what you think cuckolding is is bullshit. What you see an read online and in mainstream porn is a total lie. Be prepared to throw out all of that garbage and learn that cuckolding = a relationship. It’s love, not a fetish, fantasy, or just jerk off material.

Q. How does the reality of cuckolding differ from the fantasy?

A. I think the easiest way to explain it is to look at the difference between sex in porn and sex in reality. The fantasy of cuckolding relationship most likely is all about the visual acts or scenarios, the play by play of each scene, the typical cuck portrayals etc. whereas the reality is so emotionally complex, subtle, intense, creative, and beautiful. Additionally cuckolding is an actual relationship with all of the normal things that couples do – it’s not cuckolding all of the time. We still do the things that everyone else does, friends, family functions, parenting, grocery shopping.

Q. When dating do you find different cucks bring out different aspects of your personality or do you have the same general approach no matter what? Example alpha cucks vs beta cucks.

A. I think I do adjust somewhat to the guy depending on his personality. Chemistry between two people is unique to each combination so I would find it difficult to have the same approach to every person.

Q. Are you physically attracted to cucks?

A. Yes absolutely.

Q. Would you ever be with more than one cuck?

A. My initial answer is no, I only ever want one cuck, however you never know I guess.

Q. Is it possible that a cuck can have more than one cuckoldress? Have you ever shared your cuck with other cuckoldresses? Or would you?

A. Personally I don’t think so. The basic foundation of a cuck relationship is that he is totally committed and faithful to her. Just the thought of my cuck with any other woman or even a cuckoldress really pisses me off. I would never allow it.

Q. Would you ever date a bull?

A. I think it would be really hard for me to date a bull without also having a cuck relationship. I need both to be happy and fulfilled.

Q. Would you ever have a live-in bull?

A. It’s not out of the question for me but I think it could be really complicated. It would take three people who would be very comfortable with that dynamic. I’ve written a bit before about this kind of scenario:

Q. What would you do if you got pregnant with a bull?

A. I’m not having any more children so no that’s not happening.

Q. What are some of your rituals to reconnect with your cuck after being with your bull?

A. Clean up is my favourite. Time spent together to talk, cuddle, and sleep together. Sharing photos and videos is also fun.

Q. Have you converted any of your friends to cuckolding or being a Queen of Spades?

A. None of my girlfriends are very interested in cuckolding. They know all about it from me but it’s just not something that’s for them. They all are into open relationships (they all are very open minded) and one prefers dating black guys. I wrote about here in this post

Q. What are the best ways a cuck can impress you?

A. Great question! I’ve actually written an entire post about how a cuck can impress me. Here it is

Q. What are the best ways a bull can impress you?

A. I love this question as well! I usually like bulls who are younger, athletic, black, and large (9’+), who are always respectful and open minded toward my lifestyle, and who value friendship, connection, and creating incredible sexual chemistry. Being pushy, rude, or failing to learn about what I like is sure to turn me off.

Q. How do you manage the sexual needs of bulls if you are juggling more than one?

A. I always have more than one. I don’t have a lot of free time to see them and they are patient and understanding about that. They are free to fuck whoever else they want to whenever they want so I have never felt any kind of pressure from them.

Q. How do you deal with jealousy in a cuck relationship?

A. I have zero tolerance for negative jealousy or him feeling possessive or insecure. Those things turn me off and are difficult to get past. Cuck angst is fine – that’s normal and fun to work through together, but jealousy really sucks.

Q. Can you ever go back? Lol

A. Back to a vanilla relationship? No. I would never be comfortable living a life where I couldn’t be who I am. It’s not an option.

Q. How do you choose your bulls online? Any specific questions, selection criteria, ritual to find genuine bulls and sort out the wannabes and pretenders quickly ?

A. For me I normally just trust my gut feelings a lot when it comes to talking to people online and with bulls it’s no different. I can usually tell pretty quickly if it’s someone who I think we would be a good match. Obviously I’m a size queen and queen of spades so those two boxes have to be checked, but personality and respect for each other has to be there too. I’ve been friends with most of my bulls for years. When you find a good one you keep them. Red flags are when he is too eager, too rushed, not willing to verify, arrogant, and uninterested in learning about you and your preferences/boundaries.

Q. What percentage of women, in your estimation, would be looking for a cuck relationship? What percentage do you think might be open to it in 5 years? A decade?

A. I have no idea how many but my guess is there are very few women looking for a relationship like this. Maybe as time goes by it will be more widely known (and accurately portrayed) and perhaps more women will then begin to consider it as a valid relationship option but that would be a long time from now.

Q. Are you in a relationship now?

A. For now I am choosing not to go into any details about my relationship status. Perhaps at a later date I will let you know.

Q. How is Your sexual relationship with Your cuck “in between bull encounters” if there is any, if there is none then why not?

A. Each relationship I’ve been in is different in that way. Some enjoy sexual denial more than others so it has varied. I don’t have any set rules about that upfront. I may or may not fuck my cuck. It just depends how I’m feeling.

Q. How long can you edge your cuck?

A. As long a I want.

Q. In cuckolding relationships, do you think they all should have a hierarchy? Like my ideal cuck relationship would have bull at the top, myself, then my cuck.

A. I think that’s kind of what sets cuckolding relationships apart from hotwifing relationships, yes. Sometimes the hierarchy is just in the bedroom, others it’s 24/7, but it’s always unique to the couple.

Q. Are you more of a dominating woman in real life?

A. Yes I have always been more in control and assertive with my expectations however I feel like cuckolding relationships have brought that out more in me.

Q. What American city would you like to live in?

A. If I were to move from Canada I would like to live in New York City. Or somewhere else on the East coast or somewhere on the West coast. But to be honest your crazy American politics, ridiculous healthcare, and gun fanatics really scare me soooo maybe not. Ha!

Q. What’s the thing that nobody who isn’t in the lifestyle spends any time thinking about, but is actually really important when you’re in the lifestyle?

A. Hmmmm that’s a tough one… I think it’s about trust. For people who live vanilla lives I think trust is a one dimensional basic thought. It’s either there or it’s not – it’s black and white. In cuckolding, it’s creative like an art form. It’s an exploration or a journey you take together and it evolves as you go. It’s more than just a gift you give to each other, it’s giving each other everything, and that is where the magic comes from in a cuckolding relationship. I don’t know if that makes sense but that’s the easiest way I can explain it.

Q. Do you think there’s a danger of the Cucktress (wife/gf) losing respect and love for her new cuck?

A. I’ve had this question come up several times over the years and I’m trying to figure out if it is a real issue or just a common fear that cucks have. For me, I have never lost respect for my cuck – ever – and I don’t see how I ever would. Perhaps if it was not a serious relationship then maybe but when you already love each other then the journeys you take in a cuckolding relationship are just an evolution of the connection you have so I don’t see how respect would be lost.

Q. What keeps YOU turned on, and what can he do to make sure you’re happy?

A. This is a tough one to answer… When I think about the moments when I shared experiences with my first cuck, those turned me on incredibly, but when it comes to ongoing I think championship pussy eating skills are definitely at the top of the list. I also love thoughtful gifts, flowers, little reminders that he is thinking about me – those sorts of things.

Q. What things turn on the cuckoldress,the cuck and the bull?

A. Cuckolding. A love and appreciation for the role each plays.

Q. What’s the biggest turn on about it for the woman…from the guys point of view I’ve been there and understand it but always have been curious about the real and actual turn-ons for the lady?

A. I can only speak for myself but the turn on for me in it all is how my cuck reacts to what I’m doing or saying. When he gets turned on then I get turned on – but that dynamic only works when it’s someone I love and care about.

Q. What is the most humiliating thing that a bull makes the cuck do?

A. Probably a bull who fucks the cuck or makes him clean up. I’m not into bulls who involve cucks sexually but some are so I would assume that would be the most humiliating for a cuck.

Q. What would your advice be to someone who isn’t 100% sure if they want to try it but…maybe thinks he does? (single male btw)

A. Don’t. Personally I feel that if you are not sure if you are a cuck then you aren’t. This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like either you are hard wired to be a cuck or it’s just something you are curious about, just like if you were curious about trying out some kind of fetish or kink or something – and that’s not what cuckolding is. Cuckolding relationships are right for people who it’s a part of who they are, something they can’t live without, something they need in life to feel happy and fulfilled.

Q. How do you find the right cage? He’s big and can’t find a cage that fits so it’s not painful.

A. Don’t every buy an off-the-shelf cage. It will never fit right. Invest in a custom made cage and it will be the only cage he will ever need. Just make sure he measures himself very carefully before ordering it. Mature metal makes beautiful cages:

Q. Does your husband watch? Do you keep your ring on?

A. I’m not married but if I was he would watch if I wanted him to, and of course I would keep my ring on – I have nothing to hide.

Q. Can a woman who doesn’t have or has never displayed any kind of dominance or assertiveness in a relationship (even in private) really be a cuckoldress?

A. Good question. A cuckoldress – I doubt it. Perhaps a hotwife would be more likely.

Q. What do you think about friend-zone cuckolding?

A. I don’t know what this is??

Venus xo

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