“Expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.”
I’m such a huge fan of Dan Savage and his column ‘Savage Love’ and I’ve said many times that it’s because of his column that I’m who I am today so when I heard he was going to do a live show in Vancouver last weekend I gathered up my girlfriends for a fun night out.
He was taking questions from the audience and I and was lucky enough to have him answer one of mine “What advice would you give a single cuckoldress looking for a single cuck for a long term relationship?” His answer was totally on point and I realized, hey I already know all of that! It got me thinking…I really have learned a lot over the past 4 years in this lifestyle and if only back then I knew what I know now. Shit.
So here I am reflecting on all of the lessons I’ve learned and I’m sharing them so that other women might be able to learn from my experiences.
- A cuckolding relationship between two people who love each other in a committed long term relationship is mind-blowing, incredible, unique, complex and truly addictive. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s impossible to go back to any other kind of relationship. Expect to be hooked. This can be a blessing and a curse because it’s very hard to find.
- There are some really great people to meet in this lifestyle and from all over the world. New friends await and they are absolute gems.
- As a woman in this lifestyle, expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.
- Finding a good bull is not that easy. Finding guys to fuck is fucking whatever – they are everywhere – but finding a guy who you have that sexual chemistry with and who really appreciates and understands the role of a bull….that’s uncommon. Take your time and get recommendations from other women in the lifestyle. Sharing is caring.
- Be careful. There are crazy people out there – stalkers galore – so use caution and common sense when dealing with people you don’t know.
- Long distance relationships are difficult but probably inevitable if you’re trying to find someone to date. You’re going to have to look in other cities and consider relocating or finding someone to relocate to you. Be honest right in the beginning about what you’re looking for. It will save you from wasting time on the wrong person.
- Dating in this lifestyle is fucking brutal for both women and men. Expect to wade through the sea of shit that is online dating including the money hungry gold-digger women and the guys who just want to jerk off and flake out to the idea of you. Be prepared to be lied to – a lot – but try not to get pessimistic about it. Just get smarter about weeding out the idiots. They all seem to give off the same subtle hints when they are full of shit, you just get better at spotting them.
- Cuck fear is real and it will fuck things up. The shame/fear that some guys feel will make them flake out no matter how interested they seem or how badly they want this kind of relationship. Some would rather be alone in the cuck closet forever than face their fear and live the life that makes them feel fulfilled and true to themselves. Be prepared to be let down when you least expect it. It happens. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.
- There are three types of “single”guys in this lifestyle: married guys pretending to be single, single guys who just use it to consume porn and fantasies for jerk off material but who have no real intention of finding a relationship, and single guys who are genuinely looking for a cuckoldress to share their life with and who care about the lifestyle. Find out which one you’re dealing with.
- Don’t give up. Trust me it can be hard and I’ve given up many times but always came back to it because it’s who you are, what makes you happy, and what is meant for you. Take a break if you have to. Even if your heart hurts and you’re tired, lean on your friends and keep going. Beautiful things await. Don’t give up.
P.S. Black guys fuck better. Just saying.
P.P.S. Check out my latest podcast interview with the Casual Swingers Podcast: Cuck you! Exploring the world of cuckolds & hotwives with Cuckoldress Venus
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