10 lessons learned from a cuckoldress


Expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.

Venus

I’m such a huge fan of Dan Savage and his column ‘Savage Love’ and I’ve said many times that it’s because of his column that I’m who I am today so when I heard he was going to do a live show in Vancouver last weekend I gathered up my girlfriends for a fun night out.

He was taking questions from the audience and I and was lucky enough to have him answer one of mine “What advice would you give a single cuckoldress looking for a single cuck for a long term relationship?” His answer was totally on point and I realized, hey I already know all of that! It got me thinking…I really have learned a lot over the past 4 years in this lifestyle and if only back then I knew what I know now. Shit.

So here I am reflecting on all of the lessons I’ve learned and I’m sharing them so that other women might be able to learn from my experiences.

  1. A cuckolding relationship between two people who love each other in a committed long term relationship is mind-blowing, incredible, unique, complex and truly addictive. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s impossible to go back to any other kind of relationship. Expect to be hooked. This can be a blessing and a curse because it’s very hard to find.
  2. There are some really great people to meet in this lifestyle and from all over the world. New friends await and they are absolute gems.
  3. As a woman in this lifestyle, expect to have the best sex of your life. Enjoy feeling empowered and revel in your new found confidence and sexual prowess. Meow.
  4. Finding a good bull is not that easy. Finding guys to fuck is fucking whatever – they are everywhere – but finding a guy who you have that sexual chemistry with and who really appreciates and understands the role of a bull….that’s uncommon. Take your time and get recommendations from other women in the lifestyle. Sharing is caring.
  5. Be careful. There are crazy people out there – stalkers galore – so use caution and common sense when dealing with people you don’t know.
  6. Long distance relationships are difficult but probably inevitable if you’re trying to find someone to date. You’re going to have to look in other cities and consider relocating or finding someone to relocate to you. Be honest right in the beginning about what you’re looking for. It will save you from wasting time on the wrong person.
  7. Dating in this lifestyle is fucking brutal for both women and men. Expect to wade through the sea of shit that is online dating including the money hungry gold-digger women and the guys who just want to jerk off and flake out to the idea of you. Be prepared to be lied to – a lot – but try not to get pessimistic about it. Just get smarter about weeding out the idiots. They all seem to give off the same subtle hints when they are full of shit, you just get better at spotting them.
  8. Cuck fear is real and it will fuck things up. The shame/fear that some guys feel will make them flake out no matter how interested they seem or how badly they want this kind of relationship. Some would rather be alone in the cuck closet forever than face their fear and live the life that makes them feel fulfilled and true to themselves. Be prepared to be let down when you least expect it. It happens. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.
  9. There are three types of “single”guys in this lifestyle: married guys pretending to be single, single guys who just use it to consume porn and fantasies for jerk off material but who have no real intention of finding a relationship, and single guys who are genuinely looking for a cuckoldress to share their life with and who care about the lifestyle. Find out which one you’re dealing with.
  10. Don’t give up. Trust me it can be hard and I’ve given up many times but always came back to it because it’s who you are, what makes you happy, and what is meant for you. Take a break if you have to. Even if your heart hurts and you’re tired, lean on your friends and keep going. Beautiful things await. Don’t give up.

P.S. Black guys fuck better. Just saying.

P.P.S. Check out my latest podcast interview with the Casual Swingers Podcast: Cuck you! Exploring the world of cuckolds & hotwives with Cuckoldress Venus

Venus xo

The culture of men

For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine.

This post is written by my friend @UsefulBetaCuck on Twitter. It’s thought provoking, reflective, controversial, and in my opinion right on point.

Venus xo


In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us.

@UsefulBetaCuck

For any woman that’s ever dared venture into the world of online dating the reality is they’re going to find quickly that there’s a serious problem with manhood today. This goes well beyond men being rude, inarticulate, aggressive, toxically masculine. It’ll also cross the spectrum of their sexual identity; be they dominant, submissive, a bull, a cuck, whatever, the problem is universal.

If I could change one thing it would be the culture of men in general. A good portion of my thinking exists in the “old world” and those old souls among us feel like voices crying in the wilderness. Just leaving cuckolding aside for a minute, I value what I’ve made of myself as a man. If you met me, at least superficially, you would never guess that you were talking to a sexual submissive. I’m hard working, articulate, well read, well kept, in shape, active and even “alpha” in my community and work life.

But then I look around and what I see is little boys walking in grown men’s bodies. (And it’s not just the younger generation, millennials are simply products of their environment. So enough about millennials being the problem.) It’s really a problem of my generation and the one before me. It’s like they lost any semblance of reality. First sign of pain and they quit. First sign a woman is her own autonomous being and will not take their shit and they abandon. And I’m talking in the real world, online it’s simply set in overdrive.

In many ways, for all its value, the world would be better if the internet didn’t exist. For all we’ve gained from it look at what it’s cost us. For women it should be obvious, the price they’ve paid is the loss of their men. (If you want to test this, take away your man’s smart phone and see how he behaves. Does he suck it up or does he throw a tantrum?) And how do you box and sell manhood? You don’t. It’s the social mores of real masculinity in the culture that we’ve lost. The pessimistic side of me says we’ll never get it back, at least not with the current stock of men raising the next generation.

Now combine all this with a submissive male that’s addicted to porn and to jerking off and sees nothing more in a real life woman than another tool to achieve his next orgasm. It’s likely as high as 95% of all so-called cucks online who fall into this category. They want you to be a means to an end and not the end itself. This is where the problem and solution lies.

Women, there’s little chance your men will do this on their own but you have to require, to demand nothing less than your man actually be a man. No matter who he is, if he loves you he’ll know you are not just some insignificant object through which he vicariously gets off. This is one reason considering being a cuckoldress is such an empowering option. You make the rules, you set boundaries and you will be respected by a partner who’s not just a cuck, but a man.