This is a subject I’m quite passionate about! It’s always been my hope that all women at least get the opportunity to explore their sexuality in a safe and non-judgmental place at least once in their life. I have been one of the lucky ones who has had lots of opportunities.
About 10 years ago I began reading Savage Love by Dan Savage – a sex advice column in the Georgia Straight, a newspaper here in Vancouver – and it opened my eyes to other kinds of relationship dynamics. Dynamics that I didn’t even know existed.
Right around the same time I happened to stumble upon a swingers website and found myself chatting with some people in the chat room. I found everyone to be friendly, welcoming, and non-judgmental. It was the perfect environment for me to learn more about non-monogamy.
Next I met up with some couples and single ladies here in Vancouver and then started going to sex clubs and private events. It was these opportunities that gave me the perfect safe environment for me to explore my own sexuality and it gave me confidence, empowerment, and a sense of being comfortable in my skin, more than ever before.
I found most of the men in that lifestyle to be very respectful and fun to be around, and the women to be non-judgmental and kind (we all know that’s rare to come by!). Surprisingly most people were a lot less concerned about your body flaws and more concerned about your happiness and safety and I just loved that. What better place to feel comfortable and encouraged. I wish all women could be surrounded by similar people.
Over the next several years I released my inner slut. I tried singles, doubles, small groups, large groups, women and men, just women, toys, squirting, fisting, stretching…the list goes on. I basically tried everything that was available for me to explore within that community. It was amazing. I loved it.
Society is constantly telling women that they shouldn’t want sex and they definitely shouldn’t be a slut. We are told from a young age that there is shame in having an appetite for sex and people can be so cruel when they are busy slut shaming and ridiculing women. I wish all of that would stop. Let’s change the narrative! Let’s give women permission to release their inner slut.