The separation between sex and love

What kind of woman is suited for the cuckoldress lifestyle? Aside from a high sex drive and sexual confidence, how does a woman have to think about sex and confidence to make this kind of relationship work? She needs to draw a line in the sand when it comes to sex and love.

First off let me say that I just got some mind blowing black dick and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world right now so I guess it’s making feel inspired to write.

One of the things I have thought a lot about is what exactly makes a woman right for this kind of lifestyle. Like who is this lifestyle best suited for?Besides having an above average sexual appetite and sense of sexual confidence, I feel like a woman needs to be really good at separating sex from love.

What I mean by that is most women automatically attach sex and love in their mind;  they feel like the emotions involved with sex translate into the feelings of love for the person. I’ve seen women struggle with this when it comes to trying non-monogamy because eventually things get complicated when someone catches feelings.

For me, I first began to really  see the line between sex and love when I was spending time in the swingers community. I realized that you could have a solid loving relationship and that sex with others is exactly just that – sex with others. It allowed me to look deeper into the idea of sex being something separate from love and the more I thought about it that way, the more I gave myself permission to really go for my fantasies and my desires.

It’s allowed me to  fully embrace cuckolding relationships knowing that I can have a beautiful loving and trusting relationship with my life partner and also have the most mind blowing sex with other men.

My cuck will have my heart and black men will have my body. I’m not saying that my cuck wouldn’t ever have intimate sexual experiences with me, I’m just saying that no one else would have my heart – just him.  He can feel assured that this kind of relationship dynamic is exactly suited to me and that I need and want him just as much as I need and want BBC.

Venus xo

Fuck me

I’m going to see someone soon….someone who drives me fucking wild. I have no other way of saying it – he turns me on so much I almost lose my mind.

He’s a professional athlete so I fly out every so often to wherever he is playing. It’s not often enough though.  I would have him a lot more if I could but my busy life doesn’t always let me get away when I want to. FML.

We have some unique chemistry. He knows me so well. In fact it was shortly after we first met that I got my first Queen of  Spades tattoo (now I have three). He has the perfect balance of respecting me but still pushes my boundaries in a way that makes me feel comfortable with it. That kind of trust is not easy to find. I definitely want him to be one of the 5 on my wedding night.

He’s tall, hot as fuck, beautiful inside and out, and he fucks me like a champion every single time, but most of all it’s the way he talks to me. He has this deep voice and he has that smooth confidence and style that makes me wet with just a few words. And even when we’re just texting I get so caught up in it all that I find myself closing my eyes, tilting my head back and just completely getting lost in it all.  The things we talk about….so hot and so dirty….oh god….okay this is all very distracting now. Concentrate!

He sends me pics of him and I literally can’t handle how hot they make me. His big black dick gives me this deep overwhelming feeling that just takes over my whole body. I can’t think straight. I just stare. Mesmerized. What was I talking about again? Mmmmm.

When we see each other it’s….well you can imagine the heat.  On the way back from the airport he bent me over the back of his car in the parking lot. We just couldn’t wait to get inside his apartment. He lays me back, slides that big dick down my throat as my eyes water,my mascara runs, and I take it. I take it all. And I love it.

So now I count down the days until our next encounter. This time I’m bringing my girlfriend. I’ve shared him with her before and that was one of the best nights of my life so I’m excited to make some more memories like that.

Now what to wear….I need some new lingerie….some new sexy heels. Time to get a pedicure, my nails and hair done, my body waxed… It’s almost go time.

Venus xo

Releasing your inner slut

Every woman deserves the opportunity to release and embrace their inner slut

This is a subject I’m quite passionate about! It’s always been my hope that all women at least get the opportunity to explore their sexuality in a safe and non-judgmental place at least once in their life. I have been one of the lucky ones who has had lots of opportunities.

About 10 years ago I began reading Savage Love by Dan Savage – a sex advice column in the Georgia Straight, a newspaper here in Vancouver – and it opened my eyes to other kinds of relationship dynamics. Dynamics that I didn’t even know existed.

Right around the same time I happened to stumble upon a swingers website and found myself chatting with some people in the chat room. I found everyone to be friendly, welcoming, and non-judgmental. It was the perfect environment for me to learn more about non-monogamy.

Next I met up with some couples and single ladies here in Vancouver and then started going to sex clubs and private events. It was these opportunities that gave me the perfect safe environment for me to explore my own sexuality and it gave me confidence, empowerment, and a sense of being comfortable in my skin, more than ever before.

I found most of the men in that lifestyle to be very respectful and fun to be around, and the women to be non-judgmental and kind (we all know that’s rare to come by!). Surprisingly most people were a lot less concerned about your body flaws and more concerned about your happiness and safety and I just loved that. What better place to feel comfortable and encouraged. I wish all women could be surrounded by similar people.

Over the next several years I released my inner slut. I tried singles, doubles, small groups, large groups, women and men, just women, toys, squirting, fisting, stretching…the list goes on. I basically tried everything that was available for me to explore within that community. It was amazing. I loved it.

Society is constantly telling women that they shouldn’t want sex and they definitely shouldn’t be a slut. We are told from a young age that there is shame in having an appetite for sex and people can be so cruel when they are busy slut shaming and ridiculing women. I wish all of that would stop. Let’s change the narrative! Let’s give women permission to release their inner slut.

Venus xo