I’m going to see someone soon….someone who drives me fucking wild. I have no other way of saying it – he turns me on so much I almost lose my mind.
He’s a professional athlete so I fly out every so often to wherever he is playing. It’s not often enough though. I would have him a lot more if I could but my busy life doesn’t always let me get away when I want to. FML.
We have some unique chemistry. He knows me so well. In fact it was shortly after we first met that I got my first Queen of Spades tattoo (now I have three). He has the perfect balance of respecting me but still pushes my boundaries in a way that makes me feel comfortable with it. That kind of trust is not easy to find. I definitely want him to be one of the 5 on my wedding night.
He’s tall, hot as fuck, beautiful inside and out, and he fucks me like a champion every single time, but most of all it’s the way he talks to me. He has this deep voice and he has that smooth confidence and style that makes me wet with just a few words. And even when we’re just texting I get so caught up in it all that I find myself closing my eyes, tilting my head back and just completely getting lost in it all. The things we talk about….so hot and so dirty….oh god….okay this is all very distracting now. Concentrate!
He sends me pics of him and I literally can’t handle how hot they make me. His big black dick gives me this deep overwhelming feeling that just takes over my whole body. I can’t think straight. I just stare. Mesmerized. What was I talking about again? Mmmmm.
When we see each other it’s….well you can imagine the heat. On the way back from the airport he bent me over the back of his car in the parking lot. We just couldn’t wait to get inside his apartment. He lays me back, slides that big dick down my throat as my eyes water,my mascara runs, and I take it. I take it all. And I love it.
So now I count down the days until our next encounter. This time I’m bringing my girlfriend. I’ve shared him with her before and that was one of the best nights of my life so I’m excited to make some more memories like that.
Now what to wear….I need some new lingerie….some new sexy heels. Time to get a pedicure, my nails and hair done, my body waxed… It’s almost go time.
From fans to stalkers – It’s been an “interesting” few weeks.
To answer the obvious questions: yes I’m writing here, and no I haven’t returned to the cuck lifestyle. I’ve missed writing and I wanted to talk a little about what the past few weeks have been like. Let me tell you it’s been “interesting” to say the least.
First I want to say a very sincere thank you to the many people who sent me messages of encouragement, understanding, and support. I wasn’t able to respond to most of them however I want you to know that I really appreciated what you had to say and it meant a lot to me.
Unfortunately I’ve also been dealing with an anonymous harassing/stalker type lately….sigh. At first I thought maybe this person was a little intelligent by the way he sent me a fake email which was fishing for my personal information (he was successful in getting my google number) but after that the smarts ended and the stupid became obvious. Since then he has texted me trying to pretend he is someone I met last summer. I smelled bullshit right away, laughed at him, and promptly told him to go fuck himself. Then the fucktard called me while trying to fake a woman’s voice and accuse me of trying to steal “her” husband. This last one was especially hilarious and I nearly died laughing before hanging up. I have no idea why this person is trying all of this but if this fucking loser thinks I’m afraid of being exposed or something….little does he know…..haha!!
Another peculiar thing that has happened recently is the interest from some of my black guys. Once they heard I’ve given up on finding a cuck, some have told me they want to actually date me. I’m not sure that’s a road I want to go down right now but it’s interesting nonetheless.
So while I may not be writing about cuckolding as much as I did in the past, one of my friends said to me today I can always write about my Queen of Spades adventures because that always continues for me. Although the past month I’ve been very busy with work, BBC, and preparing for an upcoming move, I’m also planning on getting a much needed touch up done on one of my QoS tattoos so I will post another update when I can.
What it means to be a queen of spades and turning your girlfriend into one too
I’ve written a post about this subject before in my post called ‘I went black, did I go back?’, and I’ve talked a bit about it on this podcast, but I’d like to write a little more about what it’s like being a dedicated queen of spades.
For those of you who are not familiar with the term queen of spades, it means a woman who prefers black men for sex and/or relationships. Some women like myself, choose to have a queen of spades tattoo to symbolize their preference, usually on a visible place on their body. I have three; on my ankle, above my pussy, and on the back of my neck.
For me, I wanted black men for sex soon after my first experience with a black man. He and I had some amazing sexual chemistry and I wanted to find someone else like him. Once I was in my first cuck relationship he encouraged me even more and then soon enough I had lots of encounters with black men and most of them were also just as incredible in bed. So that was it – after that I was hooked. Now well hung black men is all I want these days. It’s what satisfies me. It’s what turns me on. My brain is just wired that way now.
So why wouldn’t I want to just date black guys? Why do I want a cuck then? This is what people ask me all the time. It’s simple really; I need a loving cuck relationship just as much as I need big black cock (BBC). And those two things are found in two different people. I can’t have one without the other or else I will be unsatisfied in my life.
Unfortunately I live in a city that has predominantly Caucasian, Asian, and South Asian ethincities. It’s not the best place for a Queen of Spades…..sigh. This is the reason I think that no one here has recognized my QOS tattoos or approached me about them. I’m often surprised at how many black men here in Vancouver don’t even know what it means. If I make the 40 minute drive to the US border though, I find that a lot more people down there actually do know what it means.
I have managed to turn one of my close girlfriends into a Queen of Spades within the past 3 years. She came out with me one night when I met up with one of my black guys and he had a friend with him. She was married at that time but she ended up having an affair with him and since that time she has had several other encounters with black men, some of those encounters as a group with myself included. In the beginning she slept with both white and black guys but one day she said to me “You know…I don’t think I even want to fuck white guys anymore. They’re just different in bed.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the moment. I told her I knew this day was coming! She explained that she loves the confidence black men have. She said they just know that they can get what they want and it shows in the way they speak to you, the way they act, the way they are dominant in bed. Yes yes yes I agree! Haha! Unlike me though, she is not interested in cuckolding. It’s just not her thing. She wants to date black men whereas I prefer to have sex/friendships with them. Maybe she will get a queen of spades tattoo as well some day.