The separation between sex and love

What kind of woman is suited for the cuckoldress lifestyle? Aside from a high sex drive and sexual confidence, how does a woman have to think about sex and confidence to make this kind of relationship work? She needs to draw a line in the sand when it comes to sex and love.

First off let me say that I just got some mind blowing black dick and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world right now so I guess it’s making feel inspired to write.

One of the things I have thought a lot about is what exactly makes a woman right for this kind of lifestyle. Like who is this lifestyle best suited for?Besides having an above average sexual appetite and sense of sexual confidence, I feel like a woman needs to be really good at separating sex from love.

What I mean by that is most women automatically attach sex and love in their mind;  they feel like the emotions involved with sex translate into the feelings of love for the person. I’ve seen women struggle with this when it comes to trying non-monogamy because eventually things get complicated when someone catches feelings.

For me, I first began to really  see the line between sex and love when I was spending time in the swingers community. I realized that you could have a solid loving relationship and that sex with others is exactly just that – sex with others. It allowed me to look deeper into the idea of sex being something separate from love and the more I thought about it that way, the more I gave myself permission to really go for my fantasies and my desires.

It’s allowed me to  fully embrace cuckolding relationships knowing that I can have a beautiful loving and trusting relationship with my life partner and also have the most mind blowing sex with other men.

My cuck will have my heart and black men will have my body. I’m not saying that my cuck wouldn’t ever have intimate sexual experiences with me, I’m just saying that no one else would have my heart – just him.  He can feel assured that this kind of relationship dynamic is exactly suited to me and that I need and want him just as much as I need and want BBC.

Venus xo

Checking in – from fans to stalkers

From fans to stalkers – It’s been an “interesting” few weeks.

To answer the obvious questions: yes I’m writing here, and no I haven’t returned to the cuck lifestyle.  I’ve missed writing and I wanted to talk a little about what the past few weeks have been like.  Let me tell you it’s been “interesting” to say the least.

First I want to say a very sincere thank you to the many people who sent me messages of encouragement, understanding, and support. I wasn’t able to respond to most of them however I want you to know that I really appreciated what you had to say and it meant a lot to me.

Unfortunately I’ve also been dealing with an anonymous harassing/stalker type lately….sigh. At first I thought maybe this person was a little intelligent by the way he sent me a fake email which was fishing for my personal information (he was successful in getting my google number) but after that the smarts ended and the stupid became obvious. Since then he has texted me trying to pretend he is someone I met last summer. I smelled bullshit right away, laughed at him, and promptly told him to go fuck himself. Then the fucktard called me while trying to fake a woman’s voice and accuse me of trying to steal “her” husband. This last one was especially hilarious and I nearly died laughing before hanging up. I have no idea why this person is trying all of this but if this fucking loser thinks I’m afraid of being exposed or something….little does he know…..haha!!

Another peculiar thing that has happened recently is the interest from some of my black guys. Once they heard  I’ve given up on finding a cuck, some have told me they want to actually date me. I’m not sure that’s a road I want to go down right now but it’s interesting nonetheless.

So while I may not be writing about cuckolding as much as I did in the past, one of my friends said to me today I can always write about my Queen of Spades adventures because that always continues for me. Although the past month I’ve been very busy with work, BBC, and preparing for an upcoming move, I’m also planning on getting a much needed touch up done on one of my QoS tattoos so I will post another update when I can.

Peace

Venus xo

Money is a bitch

Findommes are a real pain in my ass. No really…the money hungry gold digging bitches lingering around this lifestyle are the main reason why so many  men distrust women and I wish this problem didn’t exist.

Thanks to the internet all of us are searching online for our soulmates in the cuck lifestyle and this can be a tricky and sometimes very shady place. Let’s face it, there are some creeps out there (I’ve met more than my fair share of them) so you have to be careful. There are online profiles which are fake or misleading (soooo many) and some people who lure you into trusting them so that they can extort you or blackmail you. Yeah that’s some fucked up shit!

But by far the biggest reason cucks don’t trust women like me is because so  many women are out there looking to use guys for their  money. Some are upfront about it, claiming to be into financial domination and looking for paypigs (guys who feel submissive by giving money to greedy women), and other women are sneaky bitches about it by lying and manipulating men into giving them money. Women are literally making a living off of these men and they are everywhere online.

It’s no wonder so many guys I talk to don’t want to trust me in the beginning. Many of them have had encounters with these women before and it has left them nervous about future encounters and I can understand that but I wish this wasn’t such a common obstacle because it makes it really hard to get to know someone when the trust isn’t there from day 1 – and we all know how important trust is in this kind of relationship!

For the record I am not one of these gold digging bitches. Yes I do love to be treated well but I want my man to treat me that way because he genuinely wants to and not because I demand it from him. I would take offense to be labelled as a findomme as this is so far from who I actually am and anyone who says it about me simply does not know me at all.

So I’m putting it out there to all of the single cucks: not all of us are after your money. You can trust me on that.

 

Venus xo

Cuck etiquette

For all of you single cucks out there – this post is for you.

Here are a few little tips and wise words of advice for you to learn how to approach me and how to behave around me. I say ‘me’ because I have no idea what other single cuckoldresses want or prefer so for now, this really is just about me. Of course this is a continuation to my expectations in How to catch a Goddess so definitely take notes on that one too.

  1. I need to be attracted to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with so please at least attach a photo or description of yourself when you introduce yourself. I also need to know a little about you and not just that you’re into cuckolding – you know…normal stuff you’d want someone to know about you.
  2. If for whatever reason I decide to politely tell you I’m not interested in you (or I’ve repeatedly ignored you) please do not respond with a multitude of questions asking me why and get offended or start arguing with me. This is just going to piss me off.
  3. I’m not your jerk-off material. Do not get so whipped up into a frenzy with all of the cuckolding chat that you forget about the relationship part. This happens all too often. Do not ask me for pictures and videos. I used to share them but I have since learned that it’s not helpful to try to build relationships when guys just depend on me for it every day.
  4. Don’t make bullshit promises. Do not tell me that you’re willing to move to Canada if you haven’t even looked into the process. It’s not easy at all and you should know that already.
  5. Don’t start off by asking if you can watch me fuck a black guy or if you can do clean up afterwards. Really I can’t believe how many guys say this to me right off the bat. If that’s one of the first things you say to me then I will tell you to fuck off. It’s an actual relationship I’m after, not just fulfilling some sort of cuckold fantasy.
  6. Spell correctly and use proper grammar. If you send me something like “Your such  a beautiful women” I’m going to assume you didn’t finish high school. Go read some books or something.
  7. Telling me that you want to buy me lingerie so that I can wear it for black guys is not going to get me excited. While I appreciate the offer (and I have received a shit load of offers), this is not so much a gift for me as it is a gift for yourself so you can jerk off to the thought of it. How about you find out what it is that I truly need or want and do it just because you want to make me happy?
  8. DO NOT SEND ME YOUR UGLY WHITE DICK PICS – fucking gross. I shouldn’t even need to say this.
  9. Just be yourself. You don’t need to lie about your situation or your identity. This kind of relationship is hugely built on trust and lying to me, even about something small, right in the beginning is not going to sit well with me. If you’re worried about discretion that’s fine, I understand that, but you need to trust me for me to trust you. If you’re married or in a relationship then tell me – don’t make up bullshit stories.
  10. Be prepared to do your homework, talk on the phone, and meet in person. I’m not interested in pen pals or endless texting so if it seems like things are not moving forward then I’m not going to continue chatting forever.  Also, I’ve made a point of trying to list my answers to a lot of your questions here on my blog so that I don’t have to spend hours and hours answering them over and over individually so please do your homework and read up before asking me. In my post Everything else you’ve wanted to know I’ve answered the following questions:

What do your friends think about you being a cuckoldress?
What kinds of things do you make your cuck do?
What is it about cuckolding that makes you like it?
How did you get into cuckolding?
How public do you want your lifestyle?
Do you want to marry your cuck?
Do you want your cuck to participate sexually with you and your bull?
Are you into forced bi or ass play for your cuck?
What was the reaction of the tattoo artist when you got your queen of spades tattoo?
How long ago did you get into black guys?
Why not just date a black guy if that’s what you like so much?
Do you like BBC bareback and do you want to get pregnant?
Is there such a thing as too big?

Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

Here it is, the sequel to my friend Jay’s post Dating as a Cuck – Part 1. I absolutely love what he’s written, especially the last part about asking yourself that important question…. Enjoy!

Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

In my last post, I discussed the hard truths that one must come to terms with before beginning a relationship with a cuckoldress. If you’ve truly done the proper introspective work and decided that you are prepared, you’ve only begun half the necessary work.

In this post, I will discuss an important next step towards having a successful cuckold relationship. It is the process of dissociating yourself from your penis. This is actually something that all men should work on, but cuckolds especially.

You, the first time cuck, have gone nearly your entire life with the interests of your penis somewhere on your priority list. When you tried to sit next to that pretty girl in class, or when you caught yourself checking out your co-worker with the nice butt, or when you compulsively scrolled through dating apps, your penis was guiding your actions.

Now at a fundamental level, this is only natural. We men are hard wired to mate as often as possible with a wide range of mates. But we are no longer cavemen, and in order to be an attractive cuck you must stop thinking with your dick. One main reason, as was stated in the last post, is that as a cuck, your gf or wife simply Does. Not. Care. About your dick. When she imagines being intimate or romantic with you, your dick never enters her thoughts. She thinks about dicks that are much longer, thicker, last longer, and get harder than yours. But as a cuck your dick never enters your partner’s mind, so don’t let it enter yours either.

The other reason, is that separating yourself from your dick will actually make you a better person. There are numerous studies that demonstrate the positive effects of abstaining from masturbation. These include raised testosterone levels, increased productivity, increased mood, increased levels of motivation. These are things that any man should want! Stopping masturbation will also stop you from watching porn, which is terrible behavior for a cuck and creates an innacurate depiction of the cuckold lifestyle and women in general. So overall, you will become a better person in general.

So how do you do this? Of course its easier to talk about than actually doing it, but there are many methods and tricks to begin separating yourself from your dick. The easiest method is chastity. Talk to your partner about the need for chastity if they have not already. I recommend ordering a custom cage that will fit you properly. A proper fit should feel snug when you’re completely flaccid, you should not be able to achieve an erection of any kind while locked up.

Ceasing masturbation and porn viewing is another method. Porn often triggers masturbation, so abstaining from adult websites can immensely improve your ability to separate yourself from your dick. The last method, is pure willpower. Really think about how badly you want to be a cuck, and how great your life will be improved with a cuckoldress in it. Think about that every time you get the urge to touch yourself.

This is one of the most fundamental steps to becoming a true cuck, and there’s an easy test to give yourself to figure out if you’re closer to becoming that ideal cuck. When you think about cuckolding, do you become aroused and get the urge to touch yourself? Or do you get a rush of warm emotions, and think about sharing a special powerful bond with your loved one? Be honest with yourself, and do the proper work to become a better boyfriend, cuck, and overall person.

Jay

Back to beginnings

I’m back after a bit of a break from things and am happy to be writing again here. I lost someone close to me and it has taken a little while to get back on my feet again but I’m pretty much back to my usual self once again. Shit happens in life sometimes!

I’ve thought about a few things the past couple of months while away. One of them being how much I love hearing stories from cucks about that turning point when they first got cucked, or when they first found out that cuckolding was something that turned them on immensely and became a big part of their life. It’s that moment in time that I love to hear them talk about.

I’ve noticed that a common theme is that they were cheated on by their girlfriend when they were younger and at first they didn’t like it but then at some point the feelings of jealousy and insecurity mixed with feeling turned on by it and wanting more. From that point on it was something they struggled to understand why they liked it but there was no denying that they needed it in a relationship.

Most guys I’ve talked to have at that point in their life continued to date vanilla women and hoped that their girlfriend would cheat on them, or some guys were brave enough to outright ask them to. From what I’ve heard most vanilla women say no though.

For my first cuck it was a bit different. He told me that the first time he saw a wife being shared in porn, after that he was hooked on the idea of him being faithful and the woman being a total slut. He also struggled with trying to understand why he wanted that and why he liked that so much but it was definitely something in his life that he wanted and needed to be happy in a relationship.

It’s interesting that for all of them it was an abrupt life changing event and not something that they gradually became interested in. I think that must be why I’m weary of guys who want to date me because they are just curious about cuckolding. I believe that either you’re hardwired to be a cuck or not, and if it’s something you just want to try, it’s likely you are just into it for the erotic fantasy; kind of like role-playing a scenario or something like that.

How did you first know you were meant to be a cuck? Comment below. I’d love to know!

Dating as a Cuck – Part 1

You’ve all read about how difficult it’s been for me to find a good cuck boyfriend especially locally, so I decided to get some perspective on dating from a cuck friend of mine about what it’s like to try and find a cuckoldress in the dating world. I figure all of you cucks might enjoy reading about what he’s gone through and maybe relate to his experiences or learn a thing or two as well.

Jay is 27, lives in the Pacific Northwest, and had this to say about dating as a cuck:

“As a 27 year old cuck, attempting to date is a very daunting process. The pool of women who would even consider you is quite small, and if you don’t live in a major city, you might be completely out of luck. There’s an issue with age, as the many women looking for a cuck tend to be older. So if you’re looking for someone younger, or you find someone older and they’re looking for a cuck their age, then things become so much more difficult. You might have to rely on internet dating, and end up finding someone who’s perfect for you but lives hours away or perhaps on the other side of the country. And sometimes when all else fails, you might have to just settle for vanilla dating, and hope the other woman agrees to take on your lifestyle”

“But what if you actually do meet a cuckoldress who’s interested in you and wants to date you? You better truly be a cuck, because if you’re in all of this to satisfy some fetish, it will never ever work out. If arousal is motivating you to date a cuckoldress, you’ll be sadly disappointed. A cuckoldress wants her cuck to be happy and satisfied, but the last thing she could ever care about is your sexual satisfaction. If you actually do end up in a relationship, there’s a good chance she won’t want to have sex with you. There’s also a good chance she will never want to see your cock unless it’s locked up. As someone that has been in a few cuckold relationships, don’t even schedule that first date if you’re not prepared to accept the fact that your cock will be locked up as long as you are in that relationship. You better also try to understand what it’s like to truly be emasculated. She’s going to find men who are more handsome, more muscular, taller, and far more hung than you. They will sexually arouse your girlfriend more than you ever will, and they will give her more pleasure than you ever will. So before you even begin dating, there is a big decision you must make for yourself.”

Locked in the cuck closet?

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are exactly 4 cucks in the city I live in – that’s it. The rest of them I’m assuming don’t exist or are locked firmly in the cuck closet and only they have the key to come out.

I’ve spent several months trying to find guys who are into the cuck lifestyle and I’ve had the most success online. Surprisingly cucks are everywhere! Well, everywhere except for Vancouver. I’ve been contacted from all over the world but mainly from the United States, and as you can imagine, the distance can make it really difficult to date someone. Ugh…so frustrating!

Even on Fetlife there are bustling cuck forums in so many cities, and the Vancouver forums…well, it’s like you can hear crickets.

So how come there seems to be so many cucks internationally and so few here in rainy Vancouver? I have yet to figure out the answer to this burning question of mine….

Anyone out there know? I’d love to hear from you – comment away!

 

Venus xo

Diving head first into cuckolding

This is my story of how I got into the cuck lifestyle.

I had been involved in open relationships for several years and I knew that I wanted a non-monogamous relationship with someone however I wanted to have a lot of control over my own sexual freedom. I look back now and realize it was a cuck that I wanted but of course I didn’t know what that really was back then. Anyways back to my story….I was navigating the bland vanilla dating world (sigh) on Tinder, when I matched with this amazing guy who I will call…hmmm what will I call him….how about Ryan. Yes, Ryan.

I began to by telling Ryan how I had no intentions of being monogamous (something I would tell anyone who I considered dating) and he became quite interested in that. Over the next few days and weeks the flurry of exciting and intense conversations we had were all about me learning about his cuckolding fantasies and I admit I was quite wrapped up in it all. The more I learned about it, the more I loved it. I remember him saying “You’re going to get tired of me talking about it.” but actually I never did. I loved talking about it with him, I craved it, it turned me on in a way that I’d never experienced before.

He loved how I wanted to sleep with other men (while he was totally faithful to only me) and he encouraged that side of me. In fact he explained to me that being called a slut is a compliment – something I passionately agree with now. He would be so turned on when I told him about my sexual adventures and when I sent him pictures and videos, and I in turn got turned on by his reactions to it all. That sort of effect we had on each other was what made the relationship so intense, so magical, and so unique; I loved him deeply.

Eventually I made Ryan listen on the phone when I was with a guy. I was a bit nervous about it but obviously excited too. I wanted him to hear how much I loved what I was doing, and what was being done to me. I wanted to hear his voice and for me to whisper things to him. I wanted to tell him I loved him as I was on my knees in front of a huge cock. It was an incredible experience for me and it was all I could think about for the next several days – fucking amazing!

Ryan told me the next day that listening on the phone the night before actually made him trust me even more.  I’ve since heard someone say that “cheating is a betrayal of trust and cuckolding is an exploration of trust” and I would agree with that 100%. Cuckolding only enhanced our foundation of trust between each other and I think this kind of growth is something that a lot of people are unaware happens in these types of relationships.

Eventually things ended between him and I; Ryan’s work schedule took over his life and he no longer had the time needed for this kind of relationship and I had to move on, but I’m so grateful for him introducing me to this whole lifestyle that I’ve since completely immersed myself in. It really was the perfect beginning to this journey into the cuck world!

 

Venus xo