I’ve been wanting to write about this for quite some time now; cuck fear. It’s real . It’s overwhelming. It paralyzes.
I’ve talked to hundreds of cucks over the past three years and I’ve noticed that the biggest fear most of them have is the risk of anyone find out about their cuck side. Aside from that I’ve noticed that they are also afraid that their wife/girlfriend will fall in love with a bull and leave them. Both of these are legitimate fears and I can totally understand why these would be a major area of concern but when it comes to the need for discretion and privacy, I have a few things to say about that.
I want cucks to stop worrying so much about people finding out. So many of them say they want everything to appear “normal” to everyone else and the cuckolding part be something “behind closed doors”. When I ask why they all say things like it’s embarrassing for guys to be viewed as a cuck, they think they’ll lose their job or their friends, they will basically lose respect from people who they care about. I totally get it – no one wants to go through that however I think the reality is actually much different from the fear.
I don’t necessarily want people to know everything about my personal life but I don’t want to live in fear of people finding out about who I am and I do not want to feel ashamed about who I am and my relationship dynamic. I am proud of who I am, how I’ve grown, how I know what I want, and most of all I’m passionate about cuckolding relationships. I’ve lived it and experienced it for the beautiful, incredible, and magical love that it is. Why would I be ashamed of that?
Sure guys might feel embarrassed about it and they tell me it’s different for guys because they face more backlash from people because guys are supposed to be the opposite of a cuckold – that’s society’s expectation of them. Yeah I understand that but really I think women get the brunt of the judgment from ignorant people. Slut shaming is everywhere and it’s relentless. For a lot of women there’s nothing worse than being regarded as a slut or a whore.
What lots of cucks don’t realize is that open relationships are “out there” and accepted more than ever right now. Whether it be couples who swing, polyamorous couples, or one sided open relationships like cuckolding, people are way more open about it now than ever before. Just go on Tinder and see how many people are open about it on their profiles. Happy couples being open about who they are and it’s all okay – it’s a beautiful thing. Sure people don’t understand cuckolding yet but why can’t we just explain that it’s an open relationship and we are happy and in love and people just need to accept that. Is that really so bad? Is that really so scary? I don’t think so.
I think by hiding in the cuck closet with the door firmly locked, we are making things worse. My hope is that people learn more about this relationship dynamic and ultimately understand it better and perhaps society will one day accept it as something that certainly is “outside of the box” but still a legitimately loving relationship where both people are happy and fulfilled.
What really needs to happen is cucks needs to take some risks and just be proud of who they are. Baby steps and we will get there…
A few years ago when I was introduced to cuckolding by a new boyfriend I was lucky enough to not have watched any cuck porn prior to that. I say lucky because I think the vast majority of cuck porn out there is fucking garbage.
Still to this day I haven’t found any cuck porn that I like very much so I just mainly stick to interracial BBC content and at least that satisfies my Queen of Spades needs. It got me wondering though…why is cuck porn so awful? Why have porn companies done such a bad job with this one category?
Cuckolding (in my mind) is a complex emotional dynamic between two people who are in love and in a deeply committed relationship, and it’s nearly impossible to be able to translate that emotional exchange from the screen to the viewer using mainstream porn.
Sure you can have the husband watching his wife get pounded by another man, but how boring is that for the viewer? So producers try to spice it up with the femdom aspect and use it to humiliate the husband overtly and cruelly – this story line dominates the cuckold videos online and that’s fine for those who love it but I think it misses the mark.
Then there are the many amateur videos online to kind of fill that void I guess and yes there are some fairly good ones out there but I haven’t found any that I really love either. I think the realness of the scene is appreciated by the viewers but still is missing something in the translation to the person watching who is trying to imagine being there, a part of it.
Then there are the cuckolding memes that dominate Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and all sorts of other places. These I’m sure are all made by guys who want to convey and share their desires and fantasies in this kind of lifestyle and I think it’s these memes that more accurately describe cuckolding than porn videos. It’s usually just an image and a small piece of narrative attached to it but it’s powerful and triggers thoughts in motion, deep desires, and massive arousal. Pretty much every cuck who I’ve talked to has a little collection of favourites. Funny enough someone once stole one of my Fetlife photos and made a meme with it and posted it somewhere and I didn’t know whether to be pissed off about it or flattered – seriously just ask permission first guys!
Anyways I’m always hoping that more women will come to understand and appreciate this kind of relationship and unfortunately I think cuckold porn isn’t helping with that. In fact I think it’s a deterrent.
What I want for my wedding night BBC gangbang – in detail.
My biggest fantasy: having my first gangbang on my wedding night. I’m determined to make it happen and any cuck who dates me has to understand that this is not negotiable. I’ve brought this up before on my blog post ’17 ways to cuck your man’ and mentioned it in my interview for kinkycast.com but today I want to let loose and really dive head first right into what exactly I want for this special occasion.
I want to get married on a white sand beach somewhere overlooking crystal clear waters. 5 of my favourite black guys will get a special invitation to the event (I’ve already picked out some of them and told them they can one day expect the invite). They will watch us take our vows and maybe even slip into a few of the photos with the bride and groom. After the ceremony they join us in our honeymoon suite and that’s when all the magic happens…
I see myself on my knees, my ring sparkling on my finger, my hair perfectly styled and my makeup on point, and my pretty white dress contrasting sharply with the smooth beautiful black skin surrounding me. The photographer in the background making sure every incredible moment is expertly documented for me. I will look over at my husband and ask him to come over to me. I want a comparison photo of his unfortunate white dick next to a huge black cock – god I love those photos!
Then hubby goes back to sitting in the corner to watch. My black guys move towards me and take me – they take what they want and they don’t have to ask. My mascara runs down my cheeks, my blonde hair falls out of place, my dress eventually ends up in a messy pile on the floor. I take all of that big black cock like I’m made for it – because I am. The photographer captures all of it. I look over at my husband sitting there, watching me, loving it. I smile at him and say “I love you baby”. I am in heaven and he is right there with me.
This is undoubtedly going to be the best day of my life and I will want a repeat every anniversary after that!
Do women naturally become more cruel and selfish and men more submissive and eager to please?
Recently I read my very first blog post ‘what the fuck is cuckolding’ which I wrote almost 2 years ago and what stood out for me was where I spoke about humiliation. At that time, while starting out my adventures in cuckolding, I felt interested in the humiliation aspect of cuckolding but only as long as I didn’t feel overtly cruel about it. I also wasn’t interested in male chastity at the time. I basically understood nothing about what its purpose was.
Fast forward two years and I’ve evolved into a cuckoldress who loves dishing out humiliation and is addicted to keyholding. I’ve become more self centered, less patient, and more demanding with what I want. This seemingly effortless transition got me wondering….is this a common natural progression for all cuckoldresses?
Do women become more selfish and cruel and therefore the men become more submissive and eager to please? Sure it depends if it’s actually cuckolding we’re talking about rather than just hotwifing, but I suspect that this is the trend that naturally happens over time. I should mention that I haven’t really done much research at all about cuckolding. I haven’t read any other blogs or talked with other cuckoldresses so I basically have only my own experiences to go by and that leaves me wondering about what it’s like for other women like me.
I think that for women who were born for this kind of relationship, they enjoy the attention, sexual superiority and empowerment that this lifestyle gives them. It gives her permission to set the bar high and insist that he exceed it for her. And for men who are hardwired to be a cuck, the trust and commitment in this kind of relationship allows them to feel safe to submit to her and to want to live their own sex life strictly through hers. It’s a beautiful gift and the key to all of this working is of course love and trust.
So what do you think? Is there any truth in this? I welcome your comments.
Hear the Venus story on podcast – cuckolding, Queen of Spades, BBC
A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a podcast on the subject of cuckolding. Today it aired on www.kinkycast.com
For all of my readers who would like to listen to my story, here is the link: http://kinkycast.com/archive/2017-archive/202—venus-queen—looking.html
Well here it is: my first post about life in this strange world of being a cuckoldress. I use that word ‘strange’, but really it’s not strange at all to me, just strange to the people who don’t understand it. In fact I feel like cuckolding in relationships is just a normal way of expressing your love and adoration of each other in a way that society generally feels is taboo in nature.
So what the fuck is cuckolding anyway? Most people have never heard of the term cuckold and therefore have no idea what that means. It’s no wonder though because so few people talk about it. It’s sometimes labelled as a fetish or a kink – both terms that invoke stereotypical images in your mind of all sorts of perverted and warped sexual scenarios, and that certainly doesn’t help normalize cuckolding in any way and doesn’t help facilitate conversations on the subject.
I often find myself being asked to define cuckolding, and oh my… I struggle with how to do that in a way that accurately credits this beautiful lifestyle. It’s easy to say cuckolding is a man who enjoys watching his woman have sex with other men, but that doesn’t even come close to encompassing what it is. Cuckolding is different for everyone and there’s a huge spectrum of practices within it, but the main theme of cuckolding for me is that it’s a gift you give each other. The man gives his woman the gift of non-monogamy and incredible sexual experiences with others, and in turn the woman gives her man the gift of being involved in her experiences in some way. It’s a two way compersion street.
I personally love the power imbalance that comes with cuckolding. The woman is admired, cherished, adored, and treated like a queen by her man while he is absolutely faithful to her. He loves making her happy and he enjoys seeing her satisfied. She’s put on a pedestal where she belongs and he makes sure she stays there.
Some cuckolds enjoy a level of humiliation within their relationship and again that varies between couples, some severe cruel humiliation and others less so with more love and respect for the cuck. Personally I have a kind and caring character so I don’t feel comfortable with anything overtly cruel or mean but I can understand how some submissive men may enjoy that dynamic.
Regardless of which definition you feel is more accurate, I’m hoping to use this blog as a means to help people better understand the cuckolding lifestyle, share insight on what it is like to be a cuckoldress, and in doing so helping myself to navigate and understand this amazing and exciting cuck world. Take my word for it, it’s fucking fascinating!
I welcome your respectful comments and feedback anytime of course and I will try to answer your questions as promptly as my busy life will allow.