Turning a Queen of Spades

What it means to be a queen of spades and turning your girlfriend into one too

I’ve written a post about this subject before in my post called ‘I went black, did I go back?’, and I’ve talked a bit about it on this podcast, but I’d like to write a little more about what it’s like being a dedicated queen of spades.

For those of you who are not familiar with the term queen of spades, it means a woman who prefers black men for sex and/or relationships. Some women like myself, choose to have a queen of spades tattoo to symbolize their preference, usually on a visible place on their body. I have three; on my ankle, above my pussy, and on the back of my neck.

For me, I wanted black men for sex soon after my first experience with a black man. He and I had some amazing sexual chemistry and I wanted to find someone else like him. Once I was in my first cuck relationship he encouraged me even more and then soon enough I had lots of encounters with black men and most of them were also just as incredible in bed. So that was it – after that I was hooked. Now well hung black men is all I want these days. It’s what satisfies me. It’s what turns me on. My brain is just wired that way now.

So why wouldn’t I want to just date black guys? Why do I want a cuck then? This is what people ask me all the time. It’s simple really; I need a loving cuck relationship just as much as I need big black cock (BBC). And those two things are found in two different people. I can’t have one without the other or else I will be unsatisfied in my life.

Unfortunately I live in a city that has predominantly Caucasian, Asian, and South Asian ethincities. It’s not the best place for a Queen of Spades…..sigh. This is the reason I think that no one here has recognized my QOS tattoos or approached me about them. I’m often surprised at how many black men here in Vancouver don’t even know what it means. If I make the 40 minute drive to the US border though, I find that a lot more people down there actually do know what it means.

I have managed to turn one of my close girlfriends into a Queen of Spades within the past 3 years. She came out with me one night when I met up with one of my black guys and he had a friend with him. She was married at that time but she ended up having an affair with him and since that time she has had several other encounters with black men, some of those encounters as a group with myself included. In the beginning she slept with both white and black guys but one day she said to me “You know…I don’t think I even want to fuck white guys anymore. They’re just different in bed.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the moment. I told her I knew this day was coming! She explained that she loves the confidence black men have. She said they just know that they can get what they want and it shows in the way they speak to you, the way they act, the way they are dominant in bed. Yes yes yes I agree! Haha! Unlike me though, she is not interested in cuckolding. It’s just not her thing. She wants to date black men whereas I prefer to have sex/friendships with them. Maybe she will get a queen of spades tattoo as well some day.

Venus xo

The voice of Venus

Hear the Venus story on podcast – cuckolding, Queen of Spades, BBC

A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a podcast on the subject of cuckolding. Today it aired on www.kinkycast.com

For all of my readers who would like to listen to my story, here is the link: http://kinkycast.com/archive/2017-archive/202—venus-queen—looking.html

Venus xo

Everything else you’ve wanted to know

I should have written this post a long time ago but here it is now.

Through this blog, Fetlife, and other places, I’ve been contacted by hundreds of cucks for what seems like thousands of questions and it’s nearly always the same questions repeated over and over again. I’ve spent countless hours (feels like hundreds of hours) answering these questions over and over again and quite frankly I don’t feel like fucking doing it anymore. So I’ve written down the most common questions and I will answer them here.

How did you get into cuckolding?

I’ve written on here about how I first learned about cuckolding in my post diving head first into cuckolding

What is it about cuckolding that makes you like it?

I’ve also written a bit about this before but I love it so much because it adds a whole other dimension to a relationship and the bond it creates is absolutely magical and intense. Having said that, I feel like it only works when you’re in a real committed relationship with someone you love and care about. Sure you can role play cuckolding with someone who you’re not in a relationship with but there’s no meaning behind it. It’s totally not the same.

What kinds of things do you make your cuck do?

Some of the answer to this question can be found in my post called the answer the the question all cucks as me. I find each relationship to be different but overall I do like female led relationships with a bit of cuck humiliation. I like male chastity and some aspects of sexual denial, and I obviously love my list of 17 ways to cuck your man and I would do anything from that list.

What do your friends think about you being a cuckoldress?

I’ve found this question to be a bit puzzling. I’m not sure why it keeps coming up over and over again but it seems lots of cucks are curious about this. I surround myself with very open minded friends who believe in different kinds of relationships and aren’t judgmental and they know every detail about my lifestyle. It’s not like they just found out one day and were shocked – they’ve known all along and accept me for who I am.

How public do you want your lifestyle?

I understand that there needs to be some discretion about this kind of thing and my intention is not to publicize my private life to everyone out there but I have no interest in living this lifestyle in the closet in fear of being outed. I am more open about this kind of thing than most cucks are comfortable with, I realize this.

Do you want to marry your cuck?

Yes. Definitely. I’m not interested in casually dating.

Do you want your cuck to participate sexually with you and your bull?

No. I’m greedy like that.

Are you into forced bi or ass play for your cuck?

No not interested in that at all right now.

What was the reaction of the tattoo artist when you got your queen of spades tattoo?

My tattoos were done by an artist who is the ex-boyfriend of one of my girlfriends and no, he isn’t black or white. I casually mentioned what it was about and he didn’t ask a lot of questions about it. I think cucks are hoping for a more interesting story about that. Ha!

How long ago did you get into black guys?

I’ve written a bit about why I like black guys so much, in my post called I went black, did I go back? It was only a few years ago that I really got interested in black men and now they’re all I want.

Why not just date a black guy if that’s what you like so much?

Everyone asks me this and I understand why. It would seem like it would make sense for me to gravitate towards that but really I need both cuckolding and black men in my life to be happy. Without one or the other I would feel unfulfilled and unhappy. Other reasons are that I just cannot do monogamy and I also require my boyfriend to be totally faithful to me.

Do you like BBC bareback and do you want to get pregnant?

I’m very careful with bareback being only for a very select few of my black guys, especially because I’m not on birth control. I don’t love condoms but they are very necessary in this lifestyle. I’m not planning on having any more kids either so although it’s a very hot fantasy of many cucks, it’s not likely going to happen for me.

Is there such a thing as too big?

Uh no. I haven’t met a black guy whose dick was too big for me. I’m very much a size queen. The bigger the better.

How do I find a cuckoldress?

Good luck with that. I’ve never met any other women who are like me so I have no idea where they are. I would think that Fetlife is the best place to look but that’s not all that great because you have limited women to choose from and they are usually far away.

How do I get my girlfriend to start fucking black guys?

Good luck with that too. It’s very unlikely that she happens to be one of the few who are hard wired to be a cuckoldress. She may do it for you but eventually she will lose interest if she’s not a real cuckoldress. I would suggest you introduce her to other women who are into black guys in the hopes that they become friends. That might steer her in that direction.

Well that’s all I can remember from the list right now so that should do! Hopefully that will satisfy your curiosity for a little while…

Stories from summer 2017

The summer is coming to an end and although I didn’t accomplish everything that I set out to do, I did manage to have some fun here and there. Here are a few stories about my adventures.

In June I had a cuck come to meet me here in Vancouver. I didn’t really know a lot about him but since he was going to fly from the US I figured I would spend the weekend with him. He was a nice guy and we got along well. We went out to restaurants, rented a boat and spent the afternoon on the water. 

I usually prefer not to cuck a guy on the first date – that’s something I used to do and while it’s fun, it lacks meaning without the established relationship part – but I changed my mind the second day. I had been talking to a tall black guy from LA that day who happened to be in Vancouver. So I arranged to have him show up at the bar we were going to be in later that night. I kept it secret from the cuck. 

We were sitting at the bar when I saw him walk in, tall black and beautiful. He walked over, I gave him a kiss and turned to my cuck and told him to buy him a drink. He did what he was told to do and after a few drinks I said let’s all go back to the hotel. My cuck just looked at me and smiled. 

In the room I told him to sit and watch while my black bull did whatever he wanted to me. I’m not on birth control so my bull came on me, not in me, and he ordered my cuck to come closer to watch as it happened. Then I told him to clean it all up. He was a bit hesitant to do it at first because he had never done that before but I told him that’s his job as a cuck so he did it. I kissed my bull goodbye and he left. The sheets were a wet mess so I made him sleep on that side of the bed. The next day it was time for him to fly back to the US and although we had a nice weekend together, we lacked a connection beyond that so I wasn’t interested in meeting again. 

Also in June, I was having visits by a 21 year old white boy who lives here in Vancouver. He has a foot fetish so I let him worship my feet and my ass. He massages my feet, kisses my pedicured toes, and I stand above him and slide my pretty little feet as far down his throat as possible. He’s getting quite good at that. Sometimes I’ll sit on his face and let him breathe once in a while or other times I will just lay back and watch a movie or text on my phone while his face is firmly between my thighs. 

So one day he happened to mention that he’s a virgin. I told him he better do something about that because at 21 he was getting a little old for that and it would become something awkward. He said he was saving it for a girl who he really liked. Well it didn’t take much for me to take his virginity and he certainly didn’t protest. Of course I had to tell him exactly what to do and how to do it but really he’s lucky that I did that for him. His future girlfriends will thank me. 

July was a girls trip to Las Vegas and my oh my…there are a lot of beautiful black men there and we certainly sampled a few of them. 

Over the summer I reconnected with some cucks from my past, only to be disappointed yet again by their flakiness and all talk and no action kind of behavior. Sigh…..I really shouldn’t give second chances anymore. Anyways I won’t go off about that. I’ve already ranted on this blog enough before. Stupid cucks. 

In August I went to Southern Georgia with one of my black guys and had a nice relaxing vacation with loads of incredible sex. That’s my kind of vacation! Actually I really just want that every day…

For my flight home I had one of my submissive white guy friends pick me up from the airport and I stayed at his apartment that night. I was exhausted from a full day of flights but I let him bury his face in my pussy as I laid back and watched my favorite BBC porn, then repeat it again the next morning. He did everything I wanted him to do for me. Such a good boy.

This past weekend I had a new black guy from Seattle come to see me and he fucked me so good and I loved feeling his BBC slide down the back of my throat. I’m definitely adding him to my stable! 

Things will likely slow down a little in the next while but I’m still holding out hope that I will meet my future cuck husband, my life partner. I’m keeping my fingers crossed but my expectations at a sadly low level.
P.S. the photo that I’ve attached to this post is one from my own collection – enjoy!

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

Here it is, the sequel to my friend Jay’s post Dating as a Cuck – Part 1. I absolutely love what he’s written, especially the last part about asking yourself that important question…. Enjoy!

Venus xo

Dating as a Cuck – Part 2

In my last post, I discussed the hard truths that one must come to terms with before beginning a relationship with a cuckoldress. If you’ve truly done the proper introspective work and decided that you are prepared, you’ve only begun half the necessary work.

In this post, I will discuss an important next step towards having a successful cuckold relationship. It is the process of dissociating yourself from your penis. This is actually something that all men should work on, but cuckolds especially.

You, the first time cuck, have gone nearly your entire life with the interests of your penis somewhere on your priority list. When you tried to sit next to that pretty girl in class, or when you caught yourself checking out your co-worker with the nice butt, or when you compulsively scrolled through dating apps, your penis was guiding your actions.

Now at a fundamental level, this is only natural. We men are hard wired to mate as often as possible with a wide range of mates. But we are no longer cavemen, and in order to be an attractive cuck you must stop thinking with your dick. One main reason, as was stated in the last post, is that as a cuck, your gf or wife simply Does. Not. Care. About your dick. When she imagines being intimate or romantic with you, your dick never enters her thoughts. She thinks about dicks that are much longer, thicker, last longer, and get harder than yours. But as a cuck your dick never enters your partner’s mind, so don’t let it enter yours either.

The other reason, is that separating yourself from your dick will actually make you a better person. There are numerous studies that demonstrate the positive effects of abstaining from masturbation. These include raised testosterone levels, increased productivity, increased mood, increased levels of motivation. These are things that any man should want! Stopping masturbation will also stop you from watching porn, which is terrible behavior for a cuck and creates an innacurate depiction of the cuckold lifestyle and women in general. So overall, you will become a better person in general.

So how do you do this? Of course its easier to talk about than actually doing it, but there are many methods and tricks to begin separating yourself from your dick. The easiest method is chastity. Talk to your partner about the need for chastity if they have not already. I recommend ordering a custom cage that will fit you properly. A proper fit should feel snug when you’re completely flaccid, you should not be able to achieve an erection of any kind while locked up.

Ceasing masturbation and porn viewing is another method. Porn often triggers masturbation, so abstaining from adult websites can immensely improve your ability to separate yourself from your dick. The last method, is pure willpower. Really think about how badly you want to be a cuck, and how great your life will be improved with a cuckoldress in it. Think about that every time you get the urge to touch yourself.

This is one of the most fundamental steps to becoming a true cuck, and there’s an easy test to give yourself to figure out if you’re closer to becoming that ideal cuck. When you think about cuckolding, do you become aroused and get the urge to touch yourself? Or do you get a rush of warm emotions, and think about sharing a special powerful bond with your loved one? Be honest with yourself, and do the proper work to become a better boyfriend, cuck, and overall person.

Jay

The answer to the question that all cucks ask me

What kind of cuck do you want? This is the most difficult thing to try to answer. It’s not really something that I can sum up in a paragraph or two. It’s not easy to define and articulate yet I’m constantly having to try to do so. So for those of you who want to know, here’s my best effort:

Like I’ve mentioned on here before, there is a wide spectrum of practices in cuck relationships. All of them involve a sexually unfaithful girlfriend or wife, a totally faithful boyfriend or husband, and a loving and committed long term relationship.

In my mind, each end of the spectrum is a polar opposite and there is everything else in the middle. One end is what I call “hotwifing” (this is only my own definition and other people may see it differently) and the other end is what I would think of as total sexual denial, sexual humiliation, slavery and chastity.

I see hotwifing as a couple who already have a robust sex life together, are each seen as equals in the relationship, and there is very little humiliating kinds of practices such as making him watch or rubbing it in his face afterwards. She is just allowed to sleep with others and he prefers not to. Everything else in the relationship is pretty vanilla.

On the other end, it’s quite different. She controls the relationship and she is always in charge, he is often or always sexually denied and likely put in chastity, emasculated, feminized, while she enjoys all of the sexual partners that she wants, and she they both very much enjoy the humiliating things she would do to him.

As for me, I am somewhere in the middle. I know that hotwifing doesn’t appeal to me and I think it’s because I enjoy the power imbalance of a female led relationship rather than an equal power relationship. I also don’t want a cuckold slave or “sissy” beta kind of guy. That just doesn’t do anything for me at all.

As for sexual denial, I do like denying my cuck to varying degrees. To me, it doesn’t really matter to me if I fuck my cuck or not. I’m always going to be sexually satisfied from other more capable men. Obviously I’m not going to ‘want’ my cuck in the traditional sexual way, however things I would enjoy would be giving him sloppy seconds and rubbing his face all over my pussy after – and he has to be okay with that. It’s doing those things that turns me on, because I like how much it turns him on, but it would turn me off if he asked for it or demanded it.

Just like any other relationship, I need to be physically attracted to my cuck and enjoy spending time with him. It’s not just about cuckolding. I need love and connection; there’s always caring and trust that goes along with that, despite the power imbalance. Although I’m greedy sexually, my cuck is always the most important person in my life and I always want him to be happy as well.

I’ve come to learn that it turns me off when a guy approaches me with his list of wants and needs. I understand why, but it just doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve had conversations with guys who mention the words “I want” and “I need” a hundred times over again and I don’t know why but I hate that. I really don’t care about what you want – I want you to trust that I will do what’s best for both of us and we’ll have the most incredible experiences. If that makes sense…

I have expecations of my cuck (some say those expectations are high – I disagree) and I don’t tolerate any shit behavior from him. I expect him to make quite an effort in pursuing me, dating me, and forever after that.  Some examples of this are saying good morning to me every day (unbelievable how many guys find this difficult…), showing up with a small gift on the first date, anticipating my needs and wants, and doing all of those little things everyday that make me happy (lovely little messages, carrying my bags for me, opening the door for me, paying for things, making me dinner, kissing my toes, gifts for no particular reason…the list goes on). This seems to be a lost art form. I’ve found that a lot of guys are lazy, inconsiderate, and accustomed to getting results without little to no effort. Ladies…don’t put up with this shit -raise the fucking bar already. Guys, please read my post about how to catch a goddess – take notes for fucks sakes.

Well that’s all I can think of right now. I may add to this as I think of things later…

 

*for those of you who noticed, yes I did delete my previous post

17 ways to cuck your man

224d7a45401c8d82db5982685ff9bb92Okay ladies…here it is! A little list for quick ideas on how to cuck your man:

Fuck other men (obviously)

Variations:

  1. make him sit in the corner, stay quiet and jerk off
  2. make him take pictures and videos
  3. make him stay home and watch via skype or facetime
  4. make him sit in the corner in chastity
  5. make him stay home and listen on the phone
  6. make him clean up your creampie
  7. make him drop you off and pick you up after
  8. make him buy you new lingerie beforehand
  9. send him pictures and videos while he’s at work so he knows what he’s missing
  10. make him listen to you talk about the entire experience in detail when you get home
  11. fuck black men with huge cocks
  12. make him watch you get gangbanged
  13. make him watch you get gangbanged on your wedding night, honeymoon, and every wedding anniversary
  14. fuck his friends
  15. fuck his brother and his dad
  16. fuck his co-workers and his boss
  17. fuck your ex-boyfriends

What’s missing from the list? Let me know in the comments section. Thanks!

 

Venus xo

To love your bull or not.

The most common question I receive from cucks who want to date me is “What kind of cuck relationship do you want?”. It seems like an obvious first question given the wide spectrum of practices and preferences within this type of relationship, and you’d think it would be easy to answer, but I’ve found my answers have changed and evolved as I’ve learned more and more about cuckolding dynamics. I’ve had to examine how I feel about various relationship compositions, roles, and expectations in order to figure out what I like and what I don’t like. Often times as with everything else in this lifestyle, I have to try something in order to see if I feel comfortable with it.

I suspect the most common cuck relationship is where the monogamous husband is sexually denied (sometimes or most of the time) while his non-monogamous wife sleeps with whoever she wants, usually strangers. The wife is not expected to develop feelings for her bulls – it’s simply a sexual experience for her. Usually the cuck is present when she is with her bulls and he may or may not be directly involved in the action in some way. While this kind of relationship is continually exciting, there are safety issues when meeting with only strangers all the time.

Another variation I’ve come across is where the wife has one bull whom she has a romantic relationship with as well as a sexual bond. She has a relationship with her cuck husband as well, but he’s there to give her emotional support, love, comfort, companionship, and financial stability. Often the cuck in this type of relationship wants the bull to live in the same house with them and the wife has the benefit of having two stable, loving, long term relationships.

As a cuckoldress, I have to decide what kind of relationship I want as well as what kind of humiliating things I want to practice on my cuck. With so many options and variations it can be a bit daunting at first to figure it all out.

I have had some experience with both types of cuck relationships and I feel comfortable with both scenarios. The first one is the easiest to maintain as you’re only dealing with a relationship dynamic between the husband and wife. The second scenario can be much more complicated. It starts to grow into a polyamorous type of relationship and with that comes all sorts of challenges. Each person has their own set of individual needs that need to be met on an ongoing basis and insecurities and miscommunication can lead to a breakdown and ultimately a collapse of the relationship. It’s not easy but if done correctly it can be very rewarding.

I get so excited when I hear about cuck couples who are succeeding and thriving with their relationship – whichever composition that might be – and I’d love to hear what has worked for you and why. Let me know! Leave a comment here or on my facebook page or twitter page. Thanks!

 

Venus xo

Locked in the cuck closet?

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are exactly 4 cucks in the city I live in – that’s it. The rest of them I’m assuming don’t exist or are locked firmly in the cuck closet and only they have the key to come out.

I’ve spent several months trying to find guys who are into the cuck lifestyle and I’ve had the most success online. Surprisingly cucks are everywhere! Well, everywhere except for Vancouver. I’ve been contacted from all over the world but mainly from the United States, and as you can imagine, the distance can make it really difficult to date someone. Ugh…so frustrating!

Even on Fetlife there are bustling cuck forums in so many cities, and the Vancouver forums…well, it’s like you can hear crickets.

So how come there seems to be so many cucks internationally and so few here in rainy Vancouver? I have yet to figure out the answer to this burning question of mine….

Anyone out there know? I’d love to hear from you – comment away!

 

Venus xo

What the fuck is cuckolding?

Well here it is: my first post about life in this strange world of being a cuckoldress. I use that word ‘strange’, but really it’s not strange at all to me, just strange to the people who don’t understand it. In fact I feel like cuckolding in relationships is just a normal way of expressing your love and adoration of each other in a way that society generally feels is taboo in nature.

So what the fuck is cuckolding anyway? Most people have never heard of the term cuckold and therefore have no idea what that means. It’s no wonder though because so few people talk about it. It’s sometimes labelled as a fetish or a kink – both terms that invoke stereotypical images in your mind of all sorts of perverted and warped sexual scenarios, and that certainly doesn’t help normalize cuckolding in any way and doesn’t help facilitate conversations on the subject.

1a4d6ed6fd273ed5955fe059c4047360I often find myself being asked to define cuckolding, and oh my… I struggle with how to do that in a way that accurately credits this beautiful lifestyle. It’s easy to say cuckolding is a man who enjoys watching his woman have sex with other men, but that doesn’t even come close to encompassing what it is. Cuckolding is different for everyone and there’s a huge spectrum of practices within it, but the main theme of cuckolding for me is that it’s a gift you give each other. The man gives his woman the gift of non-monogamy and incredible sexual experiences with others, and in turn the woman gives her man the gift of being involved in her experiences in some way. It’s a two way compersion street.

I personally love the power imbalance that comes with cuckolding. The woman is admired, cherished, adored, and treated like a queen by her man while he is absolutely faithful to her. He loves making her happy and he enjoys seeing her satisfied. She’s put on a pedestal where she belongs and he makes sure she stays there.

Some cuckolds enjoy a level of humiliation within their relationship and again that varies between couples, some severe cruel humiliation and others less so with more love and respect for the cuck. Personally I have a kind and caring character so I don’t feel comfortable with anything overtly cruel or mean but I can understand how some submissive men may enjoy that dynamic.

Regardless of which definition you feel is more accurate, I’m hoping to use this blog as a means to help people better understand the cuckolding lifestyle, share insight on what it is like to be a cuckoldress, and in doing so helping myself to navigate and understand this amazing and exciting cuck world. Take my word for it, it’s fucking fascinating!

I welcome your respectful comments and feedback anytime of course and I will try to answer your questions as promptly as my busy life will allow.

 

Venus xo