The separation between sex and love

What kind of woman is suited for the cuckoldress lifestyle? Aside from a high sex drive and sexual confidence, how does a woman have to think about sex and confidence to make this kind of relationship work? She needs to draw a line in the sand when it comes to sex and love.

First off let me say that I just got some mind blowing black dick and I’m feeling pretty on top of the world right now so I guess it’s making feel inspired to write.

One of the things I have thought a lot about is what exactly makes a woman right for this kind of lifestyle. Like who is this lifestyle best suited for?Besides having an above average sexual appetite and sense of sexual confidence, I feel like a woman needs to be really good at separating sex from love.

What I mean by that is most women automatically attach sex and love in their mind;  they feel like the emotions involved with sex translate into the feelings of love for the person. I’ve seen women struggle with this when it comes to trying non-monogamy because eventually things get complicated when someone catches feelings.

For me, I first began to really  see the line between sex and love when I was spending time in the swingers community. I realized that you could have a solid loving relationship and that sex with others is exactly just that – sex with others. It allowed me to look deeper into the idea of sex being something separate from love and the more I thought about it that way, the more I gave myself permission to really go for my fantasies and my desires.

It’s allowed me to  fully embrace cuckolding relationships knowing that I can have a beautiful loving and trusting relationship with my life partner and also have the most mind blowing sex with other men.

My cuck will have my heart and black men will have my body. I’m not saying that my cuck wouldn’t ever have intimate sexual experiences with me, I’m just saying that no one else would have my heart – just him.  He can feel assured that this kind of relationship dynamic is exactly suited to me and that I need and want him just as much as I need and want BBC.

Venus xo

Fuck me

I’m going to see someone soon….someone who drives me fucking wild. I have no other way of saying it – he turns me on so much I almost lose my mind.

He’s a professional athlete so I fly out every so often to wherever he is playing. It’s not often enough though.  I would have him a lot more if I could but my busy life doesn’t always let me get away when I want to. FML.

We have some unique chemistry. He knows me so well. In fact it was shortly after we first met that I got my first Queen of  Spades tattoo (now I have three). He has the perfect balance of respecting me but still pushes my boundaries in a way that makes me feel comfortable with it. That kind of trust is not easy to find. I definitely want him to be one of the 5 on my wedding night.

He’s tall, hot as fuck, beautiful inside and out, and he fucks me like a champion every single time, but most of all it’s the way he talks to me. He has this deep voice and he has that smooth confidence and style that makes me wet with just a few words. And even when we’re just texting I get so caught up in it all that I find myself closing my eyes, tilting my head back and just completely getting lost in it all.  The things we talk about….so hot and so dirty….oh god….okay this is all very distracting now. Concentrate!

He sends me pics of him and I literally can’t handle how hot they make me. His big black dick gives me this deep overwhelming feeling that just takes over my whole body. I can’t think straight. I just stare. Mesmerized. What was I talking about again? Mmmmm.

When we see each other it’s….well you can imagine the heat.  On the way back from the airport he bent me over the back of his car in the parking lot. We just couldn’t wait to get inside his apartment. He lays me back, slides that big dick down my throat as my eyes water,my mascara runs, and I take it. I take it all. And I love it.

So now I count down the days until our next encounter. This time I’m bringing my girlfriend. I’ve shared him with her before and that was one of the best nights of my life so I’m excited to make some more memories like that.

Now what to wear….I need some new lingerie….some new sexy heels. Time to get a pedicure, my nails and hair done, my body waxed… It’s almost go time.

Venus xo

Wedding night BBC gangbang

What I want for my wedding night BBC gangbang – in detail.

My biggest fantasy: having my first gangbang on my wedding night. I’m determined to make it happen and any cuck who dates me has to understand that this is not negotiable.  I’ve brought this up before on my blog post ’17 ways to cuck your man’ and mentioned it in my interview for kinkycast.com but today I want to let loose and really dive head first right into what exactly I want for this special occasion.

I want to get married on a white sand beach somewhere overlooking crystal clear waters. 5 of my favourite black guys will get a special invitation to the event (I’ve already picked out some of them and told them they can one day expect the invite). They will  watch us take our vows and maybe even slip into a few of the photos with the bride and groom. After the ceremony they join us in our honeymoon suite and that’s when all the magic happens…

I see myself on my knees, my ring sparkling on my finger, my hair perfectly styled and my makeup on point, and my pretty white dress contrasting sharply with the smooth beautiful black skin surrounding me. The photographer in the background making sure every incredible moment is expertly documented for me. I will look over at my husband  and ask him to come over to me. I want a comparison photo of his unfortunate white dick next to a huge black cock – god I love those photos!

Then hubby goes back to sitting in the corner to watch. My black guys move towards me and take me – they take what they want and they don’t have to ask. My mascara runs down my cheeks, my blonde hair falls out of place, my dress eventually ends up in a messy pile on the floor. I take all of that big black cock like I’m made for it – because I am. The photographer captures all of it. I look over at my husband sitting there, watching me, loving it. I smile at him and say “I love you baby”. I am in heaven and he is right there with me.

This is undoubtedly going to be the best day of my life and I will want a repeat every anniversary after that!

Venus xo

Turning a Queen of Spades

What it means to be a queen of spades and turning your girlfriend into one too

I’ve written a post about this subject before in my post called ‘I went black, did I go back?’, and I’ve talked a bit about it on this podcast, but I’d like to write a little more about what it’s like being a dedicated queen of spades.

For those of you who are not familiar with the term queen of spades, it means a woman who prefers black men for sex and/or relationships. Some women like myself, choose to have a queen of spades tattoo to symbolize their preference, usually on a visible place on their body. I have three; on my ankle, above my pussy, and on the back of my neck.

For me, I wanted black men for sex soon after my first experience with a black man. He and I had some amazing sexual chemistry and I wanted to find someone else like him. Once I was in my first cuck relationship he encouraged me even more and then soon enough I had lots of encounters with black men and most of them were also just as incredible in bed. So that was it – after that I was hooked. Now well hung black men is all I want these days. It’s what satisfies me. It’s what turns me on. My brain is just wired that way now.

So why wouldn’t I want to just date black guys? Why do I want a cuck then? This is what people ask me all the time. It’s simple really; I need a loving cuck relationship just as much as I need big black cock (BBC). And those two things are found in two different people. I can’t have one without the other or else I will be unsatisfied in my life.

Unfortunately I live in a city that has predominantly Caucasian, Asian, and South Asian ethincities. It’s not the best place for a Queen of Spades…..sigh. This is the reason I think that no one here has recognized my QOS tattoos or approached me about them. I’m often surprised at how many black men here in Vancouver don’t even know what it means. If I make the 40 minute drive to the US border though, I find that a lot more people down there actually do know what it means.

I have managed to turn one of my close girlfriends into a Queen of Spades within the past 3 years. She came out with me one night when I met up with one of my black guys and he had a friend with him. She was married at that time but she ended up having an affair with him and since that time she has had several other encounters with black men, some of those encounters as a group with myself included. In the beginning she slept with both white and black guys but one day she said to me “You know…I don’t think I even want to fuck white guys anymore. They’re just different in bed.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the moment. I told her I knew this day was coming! She explained that she loves the confidence black men have. She said they just know that they can get what they want and it shows in the way they speak to you, the way they act, the way they are dominant in bed. Yes yes yes I agree! Haha! Unlike me though, she is not interested in cuckolding. It’s just not her thing. She wants to date black men whereas I prefer to have sex/friendships with them. Maybe she will get a queen of spades tattoo as well some day.

Venus xo

The voice of Venus

Hear the Venus story on podcast – cuckolding, Queen of Spades, BBC

A few weeks ago I was interviewed for a podcast on the subject of cuckolding. Today it aired on www.kinkycast.com

For all of my readers who would like to listen to my story, here is the link: http://kinkycast.com/archive/2017-archive/202—venus-queen—looking.html

Venus xo

Stories from summer 2017

The summer is coming to an end and although I didn’t accomplish everything that I set out to do, I did manage to have some fun here and there. Here are a few stories about my adventures.

In June I had a cuck come to meet me here in Vancouver. I didn’t really know a lot about him but since he was going to fly from the US I figured I would spend the weekend with him. He was a nice guy and we got along well. We went out to restaurants, rented a boat and spent the afternoon on the water. 

I usually prefer not to cuck a guy on the first date – that’s something I used to do and while it’s fun, it lacks meaning without the established relationship part – but I changed my mind the second day. I had been talking to a tall black guy from LA that day who happened to be in Vancouver. So I arranged to have him show up at the bar we were going to be in later that night. I kept it secret from the cuck. 

We were sitting at the bar when I saw him walk in, tall black and beautiful. He walked over, I gave him a kiss and turned to my cuck and told him to buy him a drink. He did what he was told to do and after a few drinks I said let’s all go back to the hotel. My cuck just looked at me and smiled. 

In the room I told him to sit and watch while my black bull did whatever he wanted to me. I’m not on birth control so my bull came on me, not in me, and he ordered my cuck to come closer to watch as it happened. Then I told him to clean it all up. He was a bit hesitant to do it at first because he had never done that before but I told him that’s his job as a cuck so he did it. I kissed my bull goodbye and he left. The sheets were a wet mess so I made him sleep on that side of the bed. The next day it was time for him to fly back to the US and although we had a nice weekend together, we lacked a connection beyond that so I wasn’t interested in meeting again. 

Also in June, I was having visits by a 21 year old white boy who lives here in Vancouver. He has a foot fetish so I let him worship my feet and my ass. He massages my feet, kisses my pedicured toes, and I stand above him and slide my pretty little feet as far down his throat as possible. He’s getting quite good at that. Sometimes I’ll sit on his face and let him breathe once in a while or other times I will just lay back and watch a movie or text on my phone while his face is firmly between my thighs. 

So one day he happened to mention that he’s a virgin. I told him he better do something about that because at 21 he was getting a little old for that and it would become something awkward. He said he was saving it for a girl who he really liked. Well it didn’t take much for me to take his virginity and he certainly didn’t protest. Of course I had to tell him exactly what to do and how to do it but really he’s lucky that I did that for him. His future girlfriends will thank me. 

July was a girls trip to Las Vegas and my oh my…there are a lot of beautiful black men there and we certainly sampled a few of them. 

Over the summer I reconnected with some cucks from my past, only to be disappointed yet again by their flakiness and all talk and no action kind of behavior. Sigh…..I really shouldn’t give second chances anymore. Anyways I won’t go off about that. I’ve already ranted on this blog enough before. Stupid cucks. 

In August I went to Southern Georgia with one of my black guys and had a nice relaxing vacation with loads of incredible sex. That’s my kind of vacation! Actually I really just want that every day…

For my flight home I had one of my submissive white guy friends pick me up from the airport and I stayed at his apartment that night. I was exhausted from a full day of flights but I let him bury his face in my pussy as I laid back and watched my favorite BBC porn, then repeat it again the next morning. He did everything I wanted him to do for me. Such a good boy.

This past weekend I had a new black guy from Seattle come to see me and he fucked me so good and I loved feeling his BBC slide down the back of my throat. I’m definitely adding him to my stable! 

Things will likely slow down a little in the next while but I’m still holding out hope that I will meet my future cuck husband, my life partner. I’m keeping my fingers crossed but my expectations at a sadly low level.
P.S. the photo that I’ve attached to this post is one from my own collection – enjoy!

Dating as a Cuck – Part 3

Here’s part 3 of Jay’s series on what it’s like to be a cuck in the dating scene. For this one he has interviewed his friend Anne. Anne is a married QoS and cuckoldress living in the North West who’s been very gracious to discuss her lifestyle. This is what she has to say:

J: Thank you so much for doing this!

A: Of course!

J: So why don’t you say a bit about yourself. I know we’ve known each other for a while but pretend like we’ve just met haha.

A: Well I’m 37, live in the Pacific North West. I’ve been married for about ten years now to my loving husband. We currently do not have any children though we would like to have a child in the near future. Although being childless at the moment allows us to put a lot of time into our very hectic work life.

J: Awesome. So could you explain the relationship dynamic you share with your husband?

A: Well Tom and I are in a female led relationship and along with being my loving husband, he is also my cuckold. It is absolutely not your typical relationship haha.

J: Can you describe how the relationship developed?

A: Sure. So I met Tom in college. We shared the same major, had a lot of classes together. He was very cute, and I actually approached him first haha. We ended up dating for about a year or so, but I started to lose attraction to him. It was a bit of an odd feeling as I really liked him but just didn’t want to be physical with him. I didn’t know how to end it, and being a stupid 21 year old, I cheated on him with a guy on the football team. I felt terrible, but our football team was one of the best in the nation, and the football players were basically celebrities on campus. Every girl was swooning after them. They were also way more masculine than Tom, I mean you’ve seen football players, they’re quite the physical specimens haha. And a 21 year old girl with options can’t help herself around guys like that.

J: So you cheated, and then what?

A: Well we broke up. It was a mutual breakup, but I felt so bad for Tom and I decided to remain friends. In the meanwhile, I began to see guys on the football team more frequently. I was especially attracted to some of the black guys on the team. I went to an all girls catholic high school and lived in a sheltered suburb growing up, so part of it was a novelty thing. But they also had a certain confidence that I never saw in white guys, I guess you could say a swagger. I loved the way they dressed and talked and danced. And they were unbelieveable in bed, I mean life changing honestly. Smooth velvety skin and big soft lips that would completely envelope mine. And they knew exactly how to treat a woman. It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I tended to only sleep with black guys from that point on.

J:Ahh so that’s when you got hooked! I had always wondered haha.

A: Yup! So after college I began to work at an ad agency. Quickly worked my way up the ladder, which is super tough as a woman in that industry just so you know. But I eventually became a mid-level VP. Didn’t have boyfriend but I was still in contact with Tom. One day Tom said he was looking for a new job and I told him we were hiring. So he applied, and ended up getting the job. His very first day after work he asks me on a date, and we ended up completely rekindling what we used to have. I was in love with him, but the sex was such a let down. Tom has a very thin below average penis and just could not come anywhere close to providing the same sensations as the black guys I was with. He’s also only a few inches taller than me and has a slim build, and I’m a bit of a thick gal so I need a tall muscular guy in order to really be pushed around how I like to be. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I asked if he would be open to swinging. He said yes, and I was thrilled because I could finally get my BBC fix haha.

J: So how do you get from that to where you are now?

A: Well Tom quickly picked up on my affinity for black guys haha. We began to experiment and he allowed me to invite one of my favorite swinging partners into our bedroom for a threesome. I believe that’s when Tom began to see his place. I mean I could tell by the look in Tom’s eyes, he was intimidated by the other guy. And I could see his stomach drop when he got a look at my partner’s massive BBC. But it was funny cause I noticed that I was actually turned on by Tom being intimidated. In the past I felt bad about telling Tom about his shortcomings, but now it seemed to be a turn on. Looking back on it, I guess it was only natural. I mean I was essentially Tom’s boss and earned way more than him, I’d strut around the office in heels and tower over him, despite me cheating on him and breaking his heart he still wanted to be friends with me. So after that night I began to start seeing other guys on my own without Tom, and that more or less was the start of our current relationship. We didn’t make some grand decision to have a female led relationship, it was just very clear to the both of us that I was in charge. By the time I decided to marry him, I knew that I needed two kinds of men in my life. A man who I loved and could control, and a man who could control me. So Tom was perfect.

J: Wow that is kind of amazing haha. So what’s the relationship like now?

A: Oh I just wanna say something because I don’t want to come off as a bitch to the Internet haha. But I don’t mean to say that Tom is less of a man! He’s very smart, loving, ambitious, and kind which is what a man should be. He’s not a good sexual partner and many women would agree with me, but he’s not less of a man.

J: Well thank you for clearing that up, so what’s the relationship like now?

A: Well we have incorporated more femdom aspects over time. He is almost always in chastity. He gets a handjob once every two months but that depends on his behavior. Sex is never an option. When we decide to have kids obviously we’ll have sex but outside of that he will forever be celibate. I know sounds harsh but Tom is accepting of this. Hmm what else, well we’ve done strapon play at times and Tom does get spanked if he screws up haha. Since we don’t have kids I normally have a bull over three times a week but sometimes I’m so busy that I’ll go a few weeks without any action except for Tom’s tongue, which thankfully is fantastic haha. Other than that, my close group of friends know everything about our relationship, but outside of that small group we appear as a typical loving couple.

J: Well that was incredible to hear! Thank you so much for your time!

I went black… did I go back?

I’ve always been attracted to black men. There’s something about their beautiful dark skin, the way they speak with smooth confidence, their forward approach to flirting, the way they move, their style…..and of course their reputation in the bedroom, that whips me up into a bit of a frenzy. It was my first cuck boyfriend Ryan who encouraged me to seek out hung black lovers, and that wasn’t very easy considering there are very few black men in Vancouver, but I accepted the challenge and managed to come up with a list of about 10 black men who I felt comfortable with.

I’m going to be absolutely honest here when I say, based on my experiences with black men compared to the white guys I’d been with, black men are exceptional in bed. Their BBC (big black cock), stamina, dominance, and endurance is perfection for me.

One stood out from the rest. I’ll call him Tyson. He’s attractive, kind, educated, and he fucks me like no one else. No one even comes close to fucking me like he does. It’s hard to put it into words but really I just want to share Tyson with all of the other women out there so that they can experience him for themselves. He makes me cum harder and stronger than ever before and he makes me squirt all over his huge black dick. Oh god I can’t even think about it as I’m typing this or I will get too worked up! My pussy literally craves Tyson. I had been totally missing out before him that’s for sure.

So now that I’ve gone black, will I go back to white guys? No. I will have a white cuckold but that’s it. In fact a few months ago I got a Queen of Spades tattoo to symbolize my preference for BBC. I love it.

qos

#BBCslut4life

 

Venus xo